Chapter Sixteen

Ipull my cart behind me and hold onto Holly with the other. I feel bad my fingernails are caked with dirt from digging, but I'm afraid if I let go, she'll run off, and I won't get the chance to apologize.

Not that I deserve a second of her time. If she wants to blow me off, I don't blame her.

We reach a private lot outside of the festival secluded by Christmas trees. I let go of her hand and to my surprise, she doesn't run. I leave the cart by the entrance and take a seat on a concrete bench. Holly watches me warily for a long moment before she takes the seat next to me.

"So, I—"

"Thanks for—"

We both speak at the same time. She laughs quietly and some tension eases from my shoulders at the sound.

She motions to me. "You go first," she says, waving her hand in the air.

Huh. Okay. Here I go I guess . . . I smooth my hair back. I wish I had prepared something to say. I just assumed after I took care of everything at the festival, I would drive to Boise and drop everything off to her without actually having to speak to her. Silly, I know.

I turn to her on the bench. "I'm sorry for how I treated you. I know there's nothing I can do to make up for it. But I wanted to at least explain—"

She waves her hands again. "Az, you don't owe me any explanation—"

I have no right to touch her. I know that. But I instinctively reach out and grab her—the tips of her fingers are so cold. I hold her tight, hoping to warm her up. "Maybe I don't. But you deserve one, Holly."

She blinks at me, surprised.

Our hands slowly lower to the bench; my chest fills with warmth as she slides her fingers between mine, entwining our hands. Mother Below, she is too good for me.

I exhale a shuddering breath and begin. "I have a complicated relationship with my family. When I was in the hospital, no one called me. Not my mom or my dad. My girlfriend of seven years ghosted me. They all did, actually. No one even bothered to pick me up from the hospital or even call me a taxi. I had to take a bus home." I wince. Get to the point, Az. "Sorry. You don't need to hear my sob story."

She squeezes my hand. "Az, of course I want your sob story. It's only fair since you've been listening to mine all week long, with lots of sobbing included."

I nod to myself. "I just wanted to give you some context. That's why I moved to Winter Bliss. My family had disowned me, they caught word I dropped out of residency and were too ashamed to speak to me, so I moved to the only place I've ever really felt at home. But I had no money and a mountain of student debt. I worked odd jobs here and there, but it wasn't enough to survive. That was until one day, while at the casino, I won a game of slots. In just one day, I went from one of the poorest guys in town to the richest. I became a celebrity to them. The demons who had ignored me when I first moved here suddenly wanted to be my best friend. It was way more than I could handle. So, I moved to the mountains," I continue. "And for a while, no one bothered me. It was peaceful. Until my ex, Sasha, showed up."

I lower my head and rub my temple. Even saying Sasha's name out loud gives me a headache. I watch Holly as her eyes go wide with concern. She holds my hand tight, refusing to let go.

"I stupidly thought she was only there to get back together with me. And for some reason—I don't know, maybe I was lonely?—I believed her. We decided to rekindle our relationship, and she moved in with me. Sasha has never been the outdoorsy type, but she didn't complain about the cabin at all, which was a big surprise because she complains about everything. I had assumed she really had changed. Just like I assumed she didn't know anything about my money. She didn't ask, and I didn't bring it up. I feel so stupid, I should have seen the signs a lot earlier, of course she didn't want to get back together because she missed me."

"She was trying to get your money," Holly whispers.

I nod. "She had the perfect plan too. She started off slow, asking about little things to spruce the place up—a new rug, new bedding, new garden furniture."

"New curtains."

I wince. "Yeah. She asked for those too. Which, considering the state of the cabin, were completely reasonable suggestions. Your suggestion was reasonable," I add with extra emphasis. "But I didn't catch on until I found a brochure for a Caribbean resort she had left for me on my pillow. When I confronted her about it, saying I didn't have the money to afford trips like that, she blurted out that she knew all about my fortune. And she didn't know why I continued to live in a shitty cabin in the middle of nowhere when I was a multimillionaire."

"Az, I'm so sorry. That must have been heartbreaking, considering what her and your parents already put you through."

The muscle in my jaw ticks. "I kicked her out. I probably didn't handle it the best way, but I needed her out of there. I needed to be alone. The next day, I got a knock on my door. It was my parents. It didn't take me long to put two and two together. Sasha didn't want to get back together with me, she had been sent by my parents to make up and soften me up to eventually accept them back into my life. But when that backfired, they showed up on my doorstep as a last resort."

"What happened after that?"

I shrug. "I kicked them out too. I didn't bother listening to their fake apology. I knew why they were there. I was so upset, it felt like all the work I had done in therapy and at the hospital had been undone, I lost control again. And that's when I started that fire outside the cabin."

"I was the unwitting reminder and accidentally set you off," she says in a hushed voice.

"Holly," I sigh. "This was not your fault. You know when they say it's not you, it's me? It's me. I overreacted. You have been nothing but kind, sweet, and patient with me. Much more patient than I deserve. I'm just sorry you got caught in the crossfire."

"Azgoran," she says sternly. Next thing I know, she pulls up her skirt and arches her leg over me, sliding into my lap. She grabs my chin with her small hands and forces me to look deep into her warm eyes. Her lashes are long and dark, and her blonde hair falls down her shoulders in soft waves. I thought she was beautiful in braids and an oversized flannel but now she's devastating. All I can do is stare.

"Just stop talking. Stop apologizing and just listen to the words coming out of my mouth. I. Forgive. You."

Her words shake me out of my stupor. "What? Why? I don't deserve it."

"I know, but I'm giving it to you anyway. You apologized to me. I can accept it if I want."

Well, that settles that, I suppose. I said everything I needed to say, but Holly is still straddling my lap, her nose and cheeks tinged red from the cold.

What happens now?

"As soon as the holidays are over and everything opens back up, I'm making an appointment with my therapist. It was irresponsible to let it lapse for so long," I say, unable to pull my eyes away from the sexy vixen in my lap. I could even apply for a job to work part-time with the Mountain Rescue as a first responder. Idle hands and all that. I don't want to be a doctor, but I do miss fixing people. Plus, working part-time I could manage my stress a lot easier.

I open my mouth to tell her all that, but as I stare at her, I can't seem to drag enough air in to form words.

She smiles softly, her eyes tracking down to my lips and up again. My skin prickles as she wraps her hands around the collar of my shirt. "That's good. I'm glad to hear you're getting back into therapy." She looks pensive for a moment. "Why were you burning through all your money? Like I said, you can do what you want with it, but there are a million other ways to spend it if you don't feel like keeping it. Charities. Homeless shelters. Did you know your local library desperately needs donations to keep its historic building? The money isn't the problem. Trust me, being poor isn't all that it's cracked up to be."

I nod, feeling the sharp prick of guilt. Taking a huge leap of faith, I reach out and place my hand on the curve of her lower back. She doesn't jerk away from my touch.

"How did you know I was at the festival?" she asks, tilting her head to the side.

"Um. I didn't. I thought you were home in Boise. After I was done purging, I was going to drive to your apartment and drop off your stuff. I looked up your address on your license and everything." The corner of my mouth quirks into the slightest smile. "You need to update your driver's license. You are not five foot three."

She gasps at me in mock-offense and pounds her fist on my chest. "I am too five foot three!" There's a beat that is longer than she is tall. "Okay fine, five feet and two inches." I give her a pointed look. She rolls her eyes. "So what are you? The height police? Give me a break, you tall freak of nature." She bites down on a giggle, and after a few seconds, her expression turns somber. "And after you dropped off the car, what was your plan? Take the bus back to Winter Bliss and never talk to me again?"

I shrug. "Assuming you never wanted to see me again, yeah, that was the plan." She frowns at me, obviously put off by that answer. "But now that I see you don't hate me, I was wondering if I could come visit you in Boise once in a while?"

Her lips widen into a huge smile. Okay. That was the answer she was looking for. She bites her lower lip, looking down for a moment. "Or maybe you could come visit me in town?" she asks softly.

I push my brows together. "What do you mean?"

She huffs. "I don't know. I kinda want to move here! Is that crazy? I'm not moving here for you, I promise. I've been thinking about it, and you know, they need teachers everywhere. I already met the principal, she said they have openings, so it wouldn't be hard for me to find a job. My friend, Noelle, knows everyone in this town so I'm sure I wouldn't have a hard time finding a place to rent—"

I lean forward and kiss her, cutting off her words. The wheels in her brain come to a screeching halt. "I think that is a great idea," I say, pulling away. She tastes like the cinnamon almonds they sell at the festival. "Whatever you decide—Winter Bliss or Boise, it's a date."

She bursts out laughing, tears wetting the corners of her eyes. "Damnit, I've missed you. I still think you're an azzhole, but I missed you."

"I missed you too," I say, leaning forward to kiss her neck. Her chin. Her ear. Her lips again.

I can't believe I almost let this sweet, infuriating, hilarious human slip through my fingers.

When I kiss her mouth, the air around us thickens. There"s a desperate charge between us. We've only been apart for a couple of days, but that short time already feels too long. I push her skirt up around her hips, sliding my hand over the swell of her ass. She unabashedly bucks against my tented jeans as my tongue explores her mouth.

Holly breaks our kiss and casts a furtive glance over my shoulder before she reaches between us, making quick work of unbuckling my jeans. One zip and I'm free.

I moan in her ear as she strokes my length once. Twice. Sliding her fingers over my wet tip and dragging the moisture over my burning skin.

She hoists herself up on her knees, and I wrench her wet panties aside. She wraps both her arms tight around my neck and I jerk up, sliding into her. The muffled keening sound she makes is music to my ears.

She rides me hard and fast, and it's only a few minutes of movement, bites, and kisses before she's fluttering around me. My good, selfish girl.

"Azgoran,"she whimpers. I pinch her nipple through her dress, and her moan grows louder, writhing in my lap.

I dig my fingers into her backside as I move beneath her until I reach my own release.

After, she lays slumped on my chest, her face nuzzled into my neck, my soft cock still buried deep inside her. She makes soft, happy humming noises as I drag my fingers down her spine. I think about the future and what it'll look like with Holly in it. I still have a long road of recovery ahead of me, but spending time in town will be a good exercise in exposure therapy and learning how to ignore all the other demons. Hopefully, though, after what they witnessed tonight, word will spread I'm too unhinged to be bothered with. No one will want to help with my "investment portfolio" or introduce me to their hedge fund manager after that.

No matter what the future holds, I can do it, as long as Holly is there holding my hand.

I kiss the top of her head. And I realize something—Holly's right; I do need new curtains for the cabin now that I'll be staying there permanently. I think I'll buy something obnoxious, like daisies with a yellow background. Something bright that'll break up the dark, lonely aesthetic of the cabin.

Yeah. Warm and sunny. Just like her.