Chapter Twenty-Five

Holly

I wake up to the steady rise and fall of Mark’s chest beneath my cheek. It’s such a nice, comforting feeling that for a moment, I let myself enjoy it, keeping my eyes closed as I snuggle closer until a deep rumbling noise reaches my ears.

My brows furrow as I slowly open my eyes, realizing it’s coming from Mark. So much for not snoring.

Half-awake, I prop myself up on one elbow to watch him. His lips are slightly parted, his hair tousled in every direction. He looks so different from his usual gruff self. He almost looks… adorable. I bite my lip to keep from laughing, but I must not do a very good job because the snoring stops abruptly as his eyes snap open, immediately glaring at me.

“You snore,” I tell him with a smirk, unable to help myself.

“Excuse me?” His voice is deep and gravelly with sleep, sending a shiver up my spine. God, that voice. That voice could make me do anything.

I smirk, shaking my head. “You said you didn’t snore,” I remind him. “You were so loud, I thought there was a moose outside.”

Mark groans, rubbing a hand over his face, trying to shake off the last remnants of sleep. “Funny,” he mutters, closing his eyes again as if he might just drift back off.

“You’re grumpy in the mornings,” I tease, poking him in the arm.

He cracks one eye open to give me a half-hearted glare. “According to you, I’m always grumpy.”

“I’m not so sure about that.”

One eyebrow rises in a silent question. “No?”

“You tucked me in last night,” I say, leaning closer. “And kissed my forehead. That’s not very grumpy behavior.”

His brows furrow in surprise. “You were awake?”

Yeah, I was still awake, even though his bed was so comfortable and I was so tired I didn’t want to move. I heard him call me “sweetheart” in that soft, gentle voice that still echoes in my mind and felt the brush of his lips against my forehead. My heart had pounded so loudly, I was sure he’d hear it and know I was still awake, but he just slipped into bed beside me, turning away from me, and eventually, we both fell asleep.

I lift my shoulder in a shrug, my lips lifting slightly. “Would it change anything if I was?”

Mark’s jaw tightens, and I notice the tension in his shoulders. My brows knit together, wondering if I’ve somehow crossed an invisible line between us. Maybe he didn’t mean anything by it and I’m making it seem like it’s something more than it is, and he doesn’t know how to let me down gently .

I sit up, putting some distance between us. “Do you regret coming here with me yet?” I ask, trying to keep my tone light though my heart hammers in my chest.

He shakes his head, keeping his jaw tight. “No,” he says earnestly.

“Really?” I ask, tilting my head and studying his face. “Not even the fact that I stole your bed?”

A small smile tugs at his lips, sending a flutter through my belly. “I don’t mind,” he says, his eyes softening in the morning light filtering through the curtains. “This bed’s too big, anyway. It’d feel empty without you.”

I laugh, but his words make my heart do a little flip. “And it doesn’t, with me here?”

Mark’s gaze meets mine, his expression softening further. “No,” he says quietly. “Nowhere feels empty with you there.”

His words hang between us, and for a moment, I forget to breathe. My heart pounds, and I open my mouth to say something, anything to break the silence, but my mind is blank.

“Do you want to go sledding today?” I blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

Mark blinks, arching his brow. “Have you ever been sledding, Bambi?”

“Of course,” I say with an eye roll. “I do this every year.”

He gives me a knowing look. “You’re not going to let me say no, are you?”

I can’t help but laugh. “You act like I make you do things you don’t want to. I’m not that powerful, Mark. ”

He shakes his head slightly, a light scoff escaping his lips as his eyes lock with mine. “You have no fucking idea, Holly.”

His words make my heart pound and all the breath in my lungs gets caught in my throat. I swallow hard, trying to get my body working again. “So,” I say, trying to shake it off. “Is that a no, then?”

He sighs, and before he even speaks, I know his answer. “It’s a yes.”

I squeal, a huge grin spreading across my face. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I lean forward impulsively and before I realize what I’m doing, I press my lips against his cheek, the roughness of his stubble prickling my lips in the best way.

I pull back quickly, my eyes wide, meeting his equally startled gaze. A moment of awkward silence hangs between us, and nerves wrack through me. Then Mark clears his throat and nods curtly. “You’re welcome, Bambi.”

I let out a laugh of relief, swinging my legs over the edge of the bed. “This is going to be so much fun.”

He grunts, rising from the bed, and when I turn around, I catch a glimpse of his shirt riding up, exposing a trail of hair on his stomach. My cheeks flush at the sight, but when Mark lets out a sigh, I quickly avert my eyes and meet his. “You want coffee first, right?”

I laugh, feeling the butterflies in my stomach. “You know me so well,” I say, smiling. “What would I do without you, Mark?”

His eyes never leave mine as the muscle in his jaw ticks as he mutters, “I feel the same fucking way, Bambi.”

“I thought you said you do this every year,” Mark says, his brow arched as she watches me struggle to climb up the hill. He, on the other hand, has his sled propped up on his shoulders as he climbs the hill effortlessly, barely breaking a sweat.

“I do,” I huff, out of breath as I shoot him a glare. “Not well, but I still do,” I admit, letting out a hard breath.

He laughs, a sound I’ve become addicted to that warms me even as the ice-chill weather hits my skin. “What the hell am I going to do with you?” he asks, shaking his head down at me.

I pause, giving him a teasing smile. “I’m sure you can think of something.”

He raises an eyebrow, and for a moment, it feels like he can read all my unspoken, inappropriate thoughts about him.

A blush creeps up my neck. “Help me, please?” I request, wincing as my aching arms struggle to keep up.

His lips curl into a slight smile before he leans down, wrapping his hand around mine as he tugs me up the mountain with ease.

“You’re wrong, you know,” I tell him, a smile spreading across my face as I watch him turn around, his skin flushed from the cold and those big eyebrows of his furrowed once again.

“What do you mean?” he asks.

“You try to convince yourself you’re grumpy and unapproachable and blah blah blah,” I say, with an eye roll. “But you’re so nice to me.”

He holds my eyes for a second before looking to the side with a shake of his head. “I’m not sure other people would agree with you.”

I take a step closer to him, a frown pulling at my lips. “Why not?”

He shrugs, focusing on the snow. “Because I’m an asshole,” he says. “I snap at people, I don’t socialize with anyone, and couldn’t care less about their problems.” Turning to face me, his jaw tightens. “I like peace and quiet and to be alone.”

When I first met him, I might have thought the same, but for a very brief moment, because even back then, I could see something in him. Something warm and kind, and as we’ve gotten to know each other, he’s shown me time and time again how much he cares.

“But I’m not quiet,” I point out with a tilt of my head. “I always annoy you with my problems, and I never leave you alone.”

He sighs, his breath turning into a puffy white cloud from the cold. He runs a hand through his hair, disheveling it as he looks at me, really looks at me, his eyes softening. “You’re different.”

You’re different.

Two words .

Two simple words that make my body warm and my stomach flutter.

“I am?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper.

“You know you are,” he says, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “You weaseled your way into my life, and… fuck me , I actually like having you around,” he admits.

I laugh, my heart threatening to explode out of my chest. I love hearing Mark admit he likes my company. Sometimes, I wonder if he’s just secretly wishing I’d leave him alone, but I’m so happy that’s not the case.

“But you’re not like this for anyone else?” I ask him.

He shakes his head, his dark brown eyes locking onto mine. “No.”

“Just for me?” I ask, my heart doing that little flip again.

“Yeah, Bambi,” he says softly, using the nickname that makes my heart melt. “Just for you.”

Our eyes lock together for what feels like an eternity before Mark clears his throat and takes a step back, glancing behind me with furrowed brows. “Where the hell is your sled?” he asks.

My eyes widen when I turn around and glance downhill, seeing the red board deep in the snow. “I forgot to bring it up.”

“You’re joking,” he says dryly. “Please tell me you’re kidding.”

I shake my head, slowly turning to face him. “I was thinking about climbing the hill for the third time in a row and was tired and…” I breathe out a sigh. “I’m sorry,” I say with a wince. “Don’t hate me. ”

Mark’s brows lift a little. “I could never hate you.” He glances down at his sled, hesitating for a second. “Are you sure we’ll both fit on this?” he asks.

A smirk slides on my face. “I could always sit on your lap.”

His face hardens, his shoulders tensing as he releases a heavy breath. “Don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?”

Mark looks away, his jaw tightening. “Need I remind you, you have a boyfriend?”

I roll my eyes. “Not my boyfriend,” I correct him.

“Whatever he is,” Mark mutters with a shrug, turning back to me. “He wouldn’t like this.”

“It’s just sledding,” I say, tilting my head.

His eyes narrow slightly. “With your body pressed tightly against mine,” he says, his words sending a rush through me. “My hands on your waist and your ass nestled on my lap.”

The breath is knocked out of me, my pulse quickening as the weight of his words dawn on me. A shiver runs through my body, liking the sound of it way too much.

He breaks eye contact first, glancing down at the sled. “Besides, I’m too big.”

I can’t help but break out into a smirk, my eyes lighting up. “Yeah? How big?”

Mark narrows his eyes. “Behave.”

“I didn’t do anything,” I say, feigning innocence.

He gives me a look, running a hand through his hair. “Sure you didn’t. ”

I let out a laugh at his expression and shrug. “I don’t think it’d be a problem,” I tell him. “It would take us way too long to bring the other sled up here, so…”

He clenches his jaw, glancing back down at the sled on the snow before closing his eyes and whispering something under his breath. “Fine,” he says as he drops down, settling himself on the sled before lifting his eyes to meet mine. “Get on.”

I swallow hard at the sight of Mark seated on the sled, his legs stretched out with a space in front of him for… me.

Turning around, I climb into the space in front of him, shifting back slowly until I hear his low, deep groan and feel his body against mine, not a single inch of space between us. His hands instinctively find my hips as I settle in, lying back against his chest.

“Are you still sure this is okay?” he asks, his lips brushing against my ear, making me suck in a breath.

“Yes,” I whisper back, licking my lips nervously as his hands slowly lift and wrap around my waist, pulling me back so my back is pressed against his chest, securing me in place. We stay like that for a while, just our bodies together, his arms wrapped around me, and neither of us moving or speaking, the sound of our breaths the only noise between us.

“Holly?” Mark says, his voice deep and low making my bones shake.

“Hmm?”

“You need to grab the reins.”

I blink, focusing on the reins in front of me. “Right. Sorry. ”

I hear his soft chuckle as I lean forward slightly and grab the reins, clutching them tightly as I lean back against Mark.

Mark plants his feet firmly on either side of the sled before he gives us a strong push until we’re hurtling down the mountain. I let out a yelp as the sled picks up speed, the wind rushing past my face and hitting my cheeks. It doesn’t matter how often I do this, it’s always just as fun as the first time.

Mark’s arms tighten around me, sending a warmth through me despite the cold air. We’re flying down the slope, the world around me completely blurred in a white, snowy blanket as we rush down the hill.

I grip the reins tightly, trying to steer us straight as the sled bounces and glides over the uneven snow. The wind roars in my ears until we finally reach the bottom of the hill, the sled coming to a stop.

I tip my head back and laugh, and glance behind my shoulder, spotting Mark smiling ever so slightly. “That was so much fun,” I say with a laugh, still feeling the rush of adrenaline through me.

“I could tell Bambi. I think my ear drum burst with your screams,” he jokes, his hand reaching out to brush my hair out of my face, tucking it behind my ear.

Our eyes lock and everything feels so warm, and comfortable, and… right. Like this is exactly where I’m meant to be. “I feel safe like this,” I admit quietly.

“On the ice going a million miles an hour?” he jokes.

I shake my head, leaning in slightly. “With you,” I whisper, staring deep into his eyes. “I always feel safe with you.”

Mark is quiet for a moment, and I feel his breath warm against my cheek. Our faces are so close that I can see the specks of gold glistening in his eyes. I tilt my head slightly up to look at him. His eyes are dark, intense, and for a heartbeat, I think he’s going to kiss me.

But he pulls back, and his arms loosen around me as he snaps his head to the side. “C’mon, Bambi. We’ll miss dinner at this rate.”

I nod, trying to hide my disappointment as he lifts out of the sled and holds his hand out to pull me up. He grabs both sleds, slinging them over his back as we start the climb back up. All I can think about is the moment that almost happened. How close we were to kissing, how much I wanted it.

And how much it hurt when he pulled away.