Chapter Eighteen

Holly

“ D on’t burn it,” Olivia warns her husband, narrowing her eyes as she hands him her trusty wooden spoon.

The smell of rich, chocolatey goodness fills the kitchen, and I can practically taste the gooey center of the molten lava cakes she’s been promising to make for weeks.

“I won’t,” he grumbles, heading into the kitchen.

Olivia rolls her eyes as she turns to me. “He will,” she says.

“He better not,” I add, narrowing my eyes. “I’ve been waiting for you to make it for way too long.” My stomach rumbles in agreement.

“Well, I can’t promise anything. We might just end up having a burnt dessert on our hands,” she says, shaking her head.

“Great,” I mutter. “Why the hell are you trusting him with this anyway?” I ask her.

She sighs, subconsciously rubbing her belly. “He said he wanted to learn so that when I’d be with the baby, he could help me out.” She scrunches her nose, letting out a laugh. “ He’s so cheesy.”

My eyes soften. “That’s so sweet,” I say, wishing someday someone would love me that much.

“Yeah,” she admits with a smile on her face, before turning to me. “So, you’re staying for dinner today?” she asks.

I blink, fidgeting with my sleeve. “Are you sick of me already?” I joke, but my chest tightens at the thought that she might be getting sick of having me around. “I know it’s not easy having me living in your house.”

“Are you kidding?” she says, her eyes wide with disbelief. “I love having you here. Who knows, maybe I would have already killed Henry if it wasn’t for you,” she jokes, her lips curling into a smirk.

A laugh bubbles out of me. “He should be thanking me for saving his life.”

“Exactly, she says, laughing softly, but then her expression becomes serious. “You know this is your home as much as it’s ours, Holly. You don’t need to run off to Mark’s.”

“It’s not that,” I say. “I just… like hanging out with him,” I admit.

She hums in acknowledgment. “Then why aren’t you going over there tonight?”

I swallow, looking away. “I thought it was best if I gave him a break,” I say with a nervous laugh.

“I bet he’s devastated,” she says with a laugh.

I scoff. “More like relieved,” I say with a shake of my head.

“I don’t know about that,” she says, her tone thoughtful as she glances at me. “It seems like he likes having you around. You go over there a lot. Are you sure nothing else is going on?” she asks, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Like what?” I ask, feigning ignorance even though my heart thuds against my chest.

“Do I need to tell you a little story about the birds and the bees?” Olivia says, tilting her head. "It all started with a little bee—”

I roll my eyes, trying to laugh it off. “Are you crazy?”

“What?” she asks innocently, though I can see the mischievous glint in her eyes.

“No,” I say with a shake of my head. “Nothing like that is happening between us.”

“Are you sure?” she presses, narrowing her eyes.

Memories of the night he took me ice skating come flooding to my mind and I tug my bottom lip between my teeth to avoid spilling out everything. But if I can’t tell her, then who can I tell? “Well…” I start.

“Well?” she echoes, leaning forward with widened eyes.

“There was this… thing,” I begin, struggling to find the right words.

“Thing? What thing? His thing?” she asks, her eyebrows shooting up in mock horror.

“No,” I affirm, my cheeks flushing. “There was… a kiss. Well, an almost kiss.”

Olivia’s eyes widen even more—if that’s even physically possible. “You kissed him?” she yells, loud enough for our neighbors to hear. I already know she’s going to tell Henry everything I tell her, so I don’t mind him hearing it from his wife’s yelling.

“No,” I say quickly, shaking my head. “But I almost did.”

She leans in closer, her interest fully captured. “An almost-kiss, huh? And was it you that started this almost-kiss?”

“I mean… I think it was both?” I say with a shrug, but my brows dip as I replay the memory in my mind. “But what if it was just me?”

“So, what happened exactly?” she asks eagerly.

“He took me ice skating because I have a date coming up with Ryan,” I explain.

“Ryan?” she asks, frowning slightly.

“The guy I’m dating,” I remind her.

Her eyes bug open. “Damn, woman. How many balls are you juggling?”

“None,” I say, playfully slapping her arm. “I’m dating Ryan, and Mark is just helping me since I suck at the whole dating thing.”

“And?” she prompts.

My chest flutters at the memory. “He took me skating, held onto my hand the whole time, and then he… smiled.” My cheeks flush. It seems like such a small, silly, insignificant thing, but it’s a big deal to me. Mark has never smiled. Ever. And the other night, he looked into my eyes and smiled. Twice.

“He… smiled?” Olivia repeats, blinking in disbelief.

“Exactly,” I say, throwing my hands up. “It’s the first time I’ve ever seen him smile, and I was just so… and then we… I…” I shake my head. “I swear he was leaning in, but I don’t know if that’s just what I wanted to happen. ”

“And then?” she asks, her voice low.

I swallow the disappointment down, just like I did that night. “He pulled away, and we continued to skate like nothing had happened.” I shake my head. “Or maybe nothing happened and I was just reading into it.” A wash of embarrassment coats me. “I don’t think he wanted to kiss me,” I admit, my voice barely a whisper.

Olivia sighs beside me, leaning against my shoulder. “I’m sorry, Bambi.”

“Don’t call me that,” I say with narrowed eyes.

She shakes her head. “No can do. It’s stuck now.”

Damn you, Mark.

“What are you going to do?” she asks, nudging her shoulder against mine.

“I don’t know,” I admit, my shoulders slumping, my thoughts a jumbled mess. “I’m dating Ryan. He’s smart, and successful, handsome, kind, everything I’m looking for.” I swallow harshly. “But when we were at the skating rink, I just wished Mark had kissed me.”

“Holy shit,” she breathes, pulling back to look at me, her eyes wide with realization. “You really like Mark.”

I nod. “I think I do,” I admit, finally letting the truth come out.

“Shit,” she says again. “I’ve never known you to have feelings for a guy.”

Yeah. Me neither. I’ve been on date after date, but it never turned into much. Either they didn’t like me, or I didn’t like them. But with Mark, I wasn’t even trying. He just fell into my life, and I fell for him.

“Yeah, well, it’s not like anything’s going to happen,” I say. “He doesn’t see me that way, clearly. ”

“You don’t know that for sure,” Olivia says.

“He pulled away, Olivia,” I remind her. “If he wanted to kiss me, don’t you think he would have?”

“Maybe,” she says with a shrug. “With Henry, I had to make the first move.”

“That was different,” I argue, closing my eyes.

“Not really,” she says, shaking her head. “He was shy and grumpy and wouldn’t even look at me.” She sighs dramatically. “But unfortunately, my heart decided he was the one I wanted.” She shrugs casually. “So I went for it. And now look at me,” she says, rubbing her swollen belly.

“I don’t think I can do that,” I tell her. Olivia might not think it’s a different situation, but it’s not. I’m not the kind of girl that can make the first move.

“Why not?” she asks.

“I really like Mark,” I admit, my voice breaking slightly. “And if I just kissed him out of nowhere… if he doesn’t feel the same for me, I can’t even imagine what would happen between us.” I shiver at the thought. Everything is so fun and easy between us. “I don’t want to lose him over a mixed signal.” Olivia nods in agreement. “I think I’ll see how it goes with Ryan,” I say, though the words feel heavy on my tongue. “At least I know he likes me.”

“But do you like him?” she asks.

“Yeah… of course,” I say, the hesitation in my voice betraying me. “He’s great.”

“That didn’t sound too convincing,” she says, her brow furrowing .

“I barely know the guy,” I protest, trying to defend myself. “I don’t think it’s a fair comparison.”

“You hardly knew Mark, and you didn’t have these hesitations about him,” Olivia points out.

“That’s different,” I argue, shaking my head. “Mark was just a friend, and I loved his company. I’m trying to date Ryan—it’s a completely different ballpark.”

“If you say so,” Olivia says, though the doubt in her voice is clear.

I sniff the air, catching a whiff of something that makes my heart sink. “Do you smell that?”

Olivia’s eyes widen, and she whirls around to face the oven. “Oh no,” she groans, rushing out of the room to head into the kitchen.

“I knew it,” I hear her yell. “I told you to keep an eye on the stove!”

“I’m fucking trying!” Henry shouts back, clearly flustered.

I try to keep the smile off my face, but it’s impossible when I hear Olivia curse.

“Jesus Christ,” she mutters loudly. “Men. Can’t live with them. Can’t live without them.”

My head turns to my phone sitting on my nightstand and I think of Mark. After what happened at the rink, I’ve been keeping my distance, but all I want to do is hang out with him. Besides, it’s not like there will be any lava cakes I’ll miss out on.

I grab my phone and scroll to his messages, my fingers hovering over the buttons for a few seconds, before I finally type out a message.

Holly :

Hi.

I wait, the seconds ticking by, my anxiety making the wait feel longer than it is. Finally, my phone buzzes with his reply.

Mark :

Yes. You can come over, Bambi.