Chapter 3

CHAPTER

THREE

Holly

“I’m so tired,” I mumble as I make my way into my house after another hectic shift. Right now, I’m mostly working Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, from about three in the afternoon until closing. While Grammy keeps the girls occupied until I wake up, I still try to spend some time with them since it’s not their fault their grandmother is such a cold-hearted, catty bitch, so I’m somewhat running on fumes.

This weekend has been a bit harder, since I got up earlier this morning so that I could take the girls to the festival the Steel Raiders MC was hosting. Because the bar was allowing us to dress up in costumes as well, I basically got two giggling, overly excited girls dressed up. Mina was a fairy, while Ruby was a princess. I still don’t know what the difference was, unless it was the fact that Mina had wings on, because outside of that, they were dressed identically, down to the sparkly leotards and tutus, with tiny tiaras pinned in their hair.

Seeing the handsome biker, Rebel again, was a nice surprise. While he and his club members, outside of the women, that is, were dressed in what I was realizing was their normal attire of jeans, shirt, cut, and heavy boots, I was ready for work and since I’m a huge Wicked and Wizard of Oz fan, I dressed like Dorothy, complete with ruby red slippers. I really wanted to dress like Elphaba, green makeup and all, but the tips have been really good, plus I wasn’t sure how easy it would be to move behind the bar decked out in a witch’s dress.

After Grammy and Pappy met up with me so they could finish the day at the festival with the girls, I went to work and was run off my feet all night long. Still, my purse is holding a wad of cash in tips, and tomorrow is Sunday.

“Thank goodness the girls are going to church with Grammy and Pappy,” I say out loud once I’m inside my home and have kicked my shoes off my numb, swollen feet. I’ll worry about picking them up later. Right now, all I want is a hot shower to wash the sweat and makeup off, and about a gazillion hours of sleep, but I’ll settle for six or seven.

Once I’m in my room, I strip down, tossing my clothes in the laundry hamper to deal with later, and head into the bathroom so I can think about the day.

When visions of Rebel float through my mind, and I recall our time together, a small smile forming on my face.

“Well, I’m glad to see the three of you made it,” Rebel says, walking up to me and the girls.

“Hi, Mr. Rebel! Do you like my painted face?” Mina asks, twirling in place. She has delicate butterflies covering her cheeks, complete with glitter which I suspect will still be clinging to everything months later. It’s what glitter does, after all.

“You look like a sparkling fairy, did Jacki paint your face for you?” he asks, his voice full of humor. Like me, he probably realizes I’ll be scrubbing and plucking glitter from places and bits they don’t belong from here until the end of time.

“The pretty lady with the red hair?” Mina questions, looking at him.

Call me a sappy marshmallow, but seeing the tall, muscular biker crouching in front of my girls has my belly filling with butterflies. He’s not making them stare up at him, rather, he’s bending down on their level, and that has my heart rate speeding up for some reason I’m unwilling to look at too closely.

“Yeah, that’s her,” he replies with a grin aimed at my daughter. “And that means you, Ruby, are a sparkling princess, right?”

The fact he remembers not only their names, but he’s identified them accurately raises him further in my estimation.

Ruby’s face has gold glitter as do her arms, but her hands are where this Jacki person showed her artistic skill the most. An intricate crown is on one hand, while the other has a swarm of butterflies, similar to Mina’s.

Ruby beams at him and says, “Uh huh. Thank you, Mr. Rebel.”

He stands to his full height which has me looking up at him and grins down at me. “So, Dorothy, did you leave Toto at home?”

“Since I’m heading to work shortly, I didn’t have much choice. I don’t think my boss would appreciate me bringing a dog to work,” I tease. It’s then I realize he doesn’t know my real name; he’s only ever heard the girls call me Mama. My cheeks redden when I realize if I heard him call me that in his deep, whiskey-soaked voice, I’d do whatever he wanted. “I never introduced myself. I’m Holly Barnes.”

“Jonah, but my road name is Rebel,” he replies, taking my hand in his. I can feel his calluses and understanding dawns on me that he doesn’t just spend his days riding his bike, he works for a living.

“Thank you again for telling us about this. The girls have plenty of candy, are enjoying themselves, and will talk about this for a long time to come,” I tell him. “We live so far out in the country, we don’t really get trick or treaters, you know? My grandparents plan to take them to the church’s trunk or treat, of course, but this is more than them just going around and getting candy. We already have two cakes, a dozen cupcakes, and three goldfish in the car waiting for my grandparents to take them off our hands. Oh, and several stuffed animals.”

He chuckles while looking down at my girls, and something in his gaze calls to my soul. “Glad you’re having a good time.”

“So am I. It’s been a rough year for them,” I confess. At his expression, I lean in and whisper, “Their father died earlier in the year during that ice storm we had.”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he murmurs, his voice low so the girls don’t hear him. “That can’t have been easy for any of you.”

I shrug because I’m still not ready to examine where Devin and I were at the time he had his accident. Call it survival, call it cowardice, it doesn’t really matter. But the likelihood that we would’ve stayed together much longer is something I’m not willing to confess to a virtual stranger.

As I step into the now steamy shower, I sigh when the water hits my aching muscles. “Just a few more months, Holl,” I remind myself as I begin shampooing my hair. “You can do anything for a minute, remember?”

It’s something my pappy taught me when I was little and impatient for stuff to happen right then and there, or whenever I didn’t want to do something I was asked to do. “You can do anything for a minute, Holly. Some of those minutes last longer than others, but just keep telling yourself that you can do it and before you know it, whatever’s going on will have passed and you’ll be right as rain once again.”

Once I’ve washed my night off me, I step out of the shower and wrap a towel around myself. “Let’s go ahead and get some laundry started,” I mumble, gathering the hamper and heading to the laundry room.

I’m actually impressed with the size of it, to be honest. Pappy got my mobile home for a steal, according to him at least, and I have a legitimate laundry room, with shelves and cabinets over the washer and dryer and a table on the opposite wall that allows me to have an area to fold clothes. I peek into the girls’ bathroom and snag their laundry basket as well, then drag both of them through the house where I quickly sort the clothes and get the first load started.

It’s a never-ending battle around here, that’s for sure. Grammy often helps with it, but the girls play hard so they wear multiple outfits every day. Plus, Ruby occasionally has a bedwetting accident, so it’s not unusual to do sheets more than once a week. Since she’s not too far past the actual potty-training stage, I don’t make a fuss about it. We merely strip down the bed, she takes a bath, then we work together to remake the bed.

Once I have that going, I head into the kitchen, grab a diet soda and a poptart and make my way back into my room so I can brush and braid my hair before collapsing into bed for some much-needed rest.

“Hey, Holly,” Rebel says later the following week as he sits down at the bar. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since the Halloween festival and my memory didn’t do him justice. Salt and pepper hair, bulky but not fat, with muscles for days. Plus, his voice… mmhm, it definitely does something for me, that’s for sure!

“Hey, Rebel, what can I get for you?” I ask.

“Whiskey, neat, please,” he replies. I quickly get his drink then check on the rest of the patrons sitting at the bar, refilling several beers and making a few mixed drinks.

“Thanks, Charlie,” I say, as one of the older men who comes in pays his tab. He’s quite generous when it comes to giving the bartenders tips, even though he only has one or two beers during his visit.

“Did your girls enjoy last weekend?” Rebel asks when I make my way down to his end of the bar again.

I laugh as I wipe down the bar top. “They had so much fun, they’re still talking about it. Sadly, the three fish have gone on to fishie heaven so we’ve had three water funerals this week, but other than that, they’ve been okay. Thanks again for telling us about it because they enjoyed it more than the church’s trunk or treat. Of course, we have enough candy to last until next Easter.”

He joins me in laughing while shaking his head. “What will you do?”

“Well, my pappy meets up with his friends once a week to play cards, so with the girls’ help, we’ve gone through all the candy, and the stuff the girls don’t like will be donated to those men. I’ve already packed it all up so he can take it with him. Also, Grammy has a stash set to the side for her bridge ladies from the church, and the girls still have more than enough left over. I almost feel guilty about how much they ended up with, to be honest.”

“Why? It’s a fun thing for kids and heaven knows, the world will be shitty enough when they get older,” he replies.

“This is true. I dread when Mina starts school next year. She’s already five, but because of when her birthday falls on the calendar, she won’t start until then. Right now, she’s doing the pre-K program at daycare, which is a godsend. Funny thing is, Ruby is two years younger, but she loves to copy her sister, so she is a willing ‘student’ when they play school.”

“Sounds like they keep you busy,” he says, chuckling. “Are you taking your break soon?”

I glance up at the neon beer clock that’s near the bar and nod. “I was just going to put a food order into the kitchen then take my break when it’s ready.”

“Go ahead and double that order and I’ll take your break with you,” he says. “Had something I wanted to talk to you about if that’s alright with you.”

“Uh, okay. Anything you don’t want on your burger?” I ask.

“Nah, just get it how you do. I can always pick off anything I don’t want,” he replies.

I jot down my order on the pad next to the cash register and slide it onto the carousel at the window. Hank, the cook, looks at it and yells out so I can hear him over the music, “Give me about twenty minutes, Holly.”

“Thanks, Hank!”

Rebel follows me out back where Morris has a picnic table set up so we can take our breaks and smell the fresh, night air. When it starts getting colder, we have a break room inside we can use, which is good since I don’t smoke so I’ll stay in when the weather becomes too chilly to enjoy the outdoors. I take a sip of my soda, along with a deep breath since the bar has been hectic tonight. Which isn’t outside of the norm, even on the weekdays. After he divvies up our food, I put ketchup on the side of my plate and dip a fry before moaning as it crosses my lips and the flavor explodes on my tastebuds.

“God, I don’t know what he does differently, but these are some of the best fries I’ve ever had,” I tell him, licking my lips.

When he doesn’t immediately reply, I glance at him to see his hand stalled halfway to his mouth while his eyes… hell, I can’t decipher what his eyes are telling me right now. I may not be a virgin, but Devin’s the only one I’ve ever been involved with, so I’m clueless when it comes to the nuances of a man’s expressions.

I mean, I always knew what Devin was thinking and feeling, but that was mostly because of his scowls and glowering mannerism, but also because he was beyond vocal about every little thing. Shaking my head slightly, I ask, “What?”

“I’m glad to see a woman who isn’t afraid to enjoy food,” he finally manages to say, his tone more coarse than usual.

“Food is fuel, and I work hard enough that I’m not going to deny myself the things I like because of some preconceived societal misconception. Does that make sense?” I question.

“It does to me. Everything in moderation, but if me and the brothers cut loose and have a little too much beer, I just add another mile to my run and add another pound or two to my weights when I work out.”

“Well, between working here and my full-time gig, plus the girls and the fact I help my grandparents as much as possible on their farm, I probably expend more calories than I take in,” I reply.

“You work another job? How are you managing to do that with two little girls?” When he asks this, his eyebrows draw in. He tilts his head to the side, his eyes honing in on me as if he’s trying to probe my mind.

Shrugging, I dip another fry, pop it in my mouth, chew and swallow before answering. “I told you my girls’ father died earlier this year. Well, we lived in a house his family owned and his mother kicked us out about a month ago. My pappy put a doublewide on his land for me and the girls, and my full-time job as a CPA covers all of those bills, but Devin’s mother decided instead of selling the family home to cover his medical bills, she would rent it out instead. She presented me with a bill for the renovations.”

“Is that even legal?” he asks.

“I have no clue. Her husband, who is polar opposite to that woman, offered to pay it but she wouldn’t let him. Since I don’t want my girls to suffer because she can’t see past the end of her nose, I picked up the bartending job to help supplement my income. That way, I can still give them a good Christmas without going into debt,” I say.

“She sounds delightful,” he teases.

“Yeah, that’s not what I’ve said, trust me,” I retort, grinning at him. “She doesn’t even see her granddaughters, which is really no loss, but she’s their only living grandmother, since Grammy is their great-grandmother. At least Samuel comes and sees them, you know? But I have no use for Myra whatsoever. She never liked me, even when we were teenagers, then when I got pregnant at sixteen, she nearly lost her mind. Still, even though he and I were engaged, I could never go through with planning a wedding.”

“What held you back? I thought most women wanted the whole wedding, marriage, white picket fence thing,” he questions.

“Ha, my break’s not long enough to explain all the reasons I didn’t set a date to tie myself to him and that family,” I reply. “But suffice it to say, I think we were on the downward side of things.”

I don’t mention that the night Devin left to get his beer, he was higher than a kite, and had been for several days. Nor do I tell him that my body bore the bruises of trying to keep Devin at home that night. I’m not proud that I found myself being abused, but I had been in the process of making plans to leave when he died, so as far as I’m concerned, it’s not worth mentioning.

“So, that means we’ll lose one of the best bartenders we’ve ever had after the holidays?” he asks.

“We? What do you mean?” Before tonight, I’ve never seen him here, so I’m stumped on why he included himself into this scenario.

“The club owns the bar,” he replies, answering the spoken as well as the silent question I posed in my head.

“Well, I don’t know if I could keep to three days a week schedule, because my grandparents are helping me by watching the girls and they already raised my mom, plus me when my parents died. But that being said, maybe I could work every other week or something.”

“We’ll figure it out, okay?” He offers before blowing my mind with his next question. “Now, what I wanted to ask, but I’m not sure how it would work with your busy schedule, is if you’d go out with me?”

“Bikers date?” I question.

He chuckles at my skepticism before answering, “Normally no, but I’m attracted to you, and you’re not like the usual women I’ve seen in the past.”

Translation, I’m not a hit and quit kinda gal. My estimation of him goes up even more, because I’ve got my share of baggage, plus two little girls who are my priority above everything else. While I’m tempted to say yes, I need him to understand that their needs will always come first.