Chapter 18

It's been a few days since everything went down and Eli is still giving me the silent treatment. His anger is understandable, but we're fucking adults. I believe we should be able to talk about it. Today, I plan to visit Blush. She is going to dye my hair, and I hope to get some answers about what to expect at Dark Night, which is fast approaching in a few days.

Deep down, I know it won't be pretty and I truly believe it's something sinister, but the thought of innocents dying unsettles me, and I hope that's not the case. In a twisted way, I hope they deserve it because that might make it easier to stomach. The way these acts and murders might be committed, along with facing Hellion, makes me anxious, and I have no idea why I haven't run for the fucking hills yet. What is keeping me here? Why am I so attached to these people and the atmosphere?

In some strange way, this place is starting to feel like a home. A messed-up home, but a home, nonetheless. It's more of a home than what I had to endure for years after my mother died.

Sitting on the end of the bed, I slide on my boots when Eli suddenly walks into the room and I lift my head, noticing the bruising around his eyes, but he still avoids me, heading for the wardrobe. I keep my gaze on him as I tie my boots and he slips on a jacket.

"You're working tonight?" I ask, hoping to break the ice after the hundredth attempt, but he continues to ignore me.

"You can keep avoiding me, but it's not going to change anything," I say, frustration creeping into my voice. "We need to talk, Eli."

He stops for a moment, his hand pausing on the wardrobe handle, and I can see the tension in his shoulders, but then he continues as if I haven't spoken at all, rummaging through his clothes.

I stand up, crossing the room to stand behind him. "E, please. This isn't helping either of us. I get that you're angry but shutting me out is childish."

He finally turns and looks at me, his eyes hard and filled with a mixture of hurt and anger. "What do you want me to say, Noir? That I'm okay with everything? Because I'm not. You put me in danger, and this ruins everything."

I swallow hard, knowing he's right. "I know and I'm sorry, but we can't move forward if we don't talk about it."

He exhales sharply, shaking his head. "You're into fucking clowns now? Does this mean we're done?"

I tilt my head to the side. "Nothing I say will explain or justify what you saw, but I will be honest with you because you deserve the truth."

Eli stands there, arms crossing over his chest, finally ready to listen to what I have to say, and I sigh before facing aside. "I can't resist him," I admit, almost bluntly.

He lets out a loud scoff, "What the fuck, Noir!"

My eyes return to his, and I give a small shoulder shrug. "Again, I am just being honest. You've been a great friend, but..."

"Friend?" he barks. "A fucking friend? We've been together and fucking for months. Is this because I'm having problems?" He glances down at his crotch before returning his eyes to mine.

I shake my head, my brows pinching together. "No, of course not. I just have never felt romantically connected to you, E."

My honesty makes his face fall. "You used me," he breathes out.

I shake my head again. "No, I..."

"What was I? Just to pass the time? What the fuck, Noir. I was there for you when you had fucking no one. You would have died without me!"

I narrow my eyes, hating the fact that he said that. Although he might think that's true, I would have still found a way of survival regardless because that's me, but I brush it aside, not wanting to argue.

"I appreciate everything you have done for me, and I want to stay friends, but I think it's best if we're not like that anymore. I am not going to feed you any more false hope. Whatever we were, ends now."

His fists clench, and he storms toward me, but I stand my ground and when he is entirely in my space, I stare up at him blankly while he simmers on the edge of wrath. The intensity in his eyes burns, and I can feel the heat of his anger radiating off him.

After a tense silence, I shake my head once. "He will kill you," I say softly, my voice barely above a whisper. "You need to be very, very careful with threatening me. If you can't control yourself, then I suggest you leave this place altogether because if he finds out you're even getting in my face like this, I won't stop him."

His eyes flash with disbelief and he takes a step back, his fists still trembling. "You'd let him kill me?" he gasps out.

I hold his gaze steadily. "If you keep doing this bullshit, yes. I won't protect you from him. I won't even protect you from myself."

His face contorts with frustration. "You're choosing him over me?"

"I'm choosing myself, E," I reply firmly. "And you should choose you. This isn't a fucking game. You need to decide what's more important: your pride or your life."

He stares at me, his expression torn, and then he lets out a defeated sigh. "Fine," he mutters. "But don't expect me to stick around and be there when you self-destruct, because you fucking will, and he won't help you. He's only using you for your pussy."

My jaw tenses, but I'm smart enough to know he's being nasty because he's hurt and I can't blame him, I am being pretty emotionless right now, but he needs to know the truth.

"I think you should ask Madame to give you another trailer," I suggest.

He pulls his head back, his face scrunched up. "Fuck no. I'm staying. You don't get to dictate where I go when you're the one who put us in this mess."

I sigh, looking aside, and without another word, he passes me and storms out, slamming the door behind him. I stand there, the echoes of his departure ringing through the room. Taking a deep breath, I try to steady myself. The atmosphere in the trailer now feels heavy, and as I glance around, the familiar surroundings suddenly feel uncomfortable. I turn around and head out the door, making my way towards Blush's trailer.

The cool night breeze hits me, a stark contrast to the heated tension I just left behind and the ground beneath my feet feels uneven, each step anchoring me more in the reality of my decisions. Is this me choosing Hell? Or is this just me being truthful with myself finally and Hell has been the wake-up call?

Once I arrive at her door, I raise my arm and knock my knuckles against the glass. A moment later, the door swings open, revealing Blush standing there in a black crop top and high-waisted leather pants, a big smile plastered on her pretty face.

"Hey, girl!" she greets enthusiastically.

I smile back and take the two short steps to enter as she stands aside, allowing me in. The interior of her trailer immediately captures my attention. "Wow, it's fucking amazing in here," I gasp, taking in the chic black and pink decor.

Blush giggles behind me. "Thanks. It's taken me a while to get it how I want."

I nod while she passes me, gesturing for me to follow her to her bedroom and as we enter, I notice how much bigger it is compared to mine. She suggests I sit at her vanity, and I slip my leather jacket down my arms before taking a seat. Blush places a towel over my shoulders and begins preparing the dye.

"I always thought you weren't naturally blonde. Your dark eyebrows give it away," she remarks, her eyes meeting mine in the mirror. "What made you dye it? I mean, it suits you, but I bet you look amazing with dark hair."

I think about how I dyed it to be less detectable to Kyro and so far, it has worked, I guess.

I shrug my shoulders. "I just wanted a change," I tell the lie, trying to sound casual.

She nods, not pressing further. "Well, you're going to look beautiful when we're done."

As she starts applying the dye, I relax into the comforting atmosphere as she continues our conversation. "So, what's been going on with you?" she asks.

I let out a heavy sigh, "Well, Eli caught me and Hell..."

I trail off, my eyes meeting hers in the mirror and they widen with surprise. "Fucking?" she says, attempting to finish my sentence.

I shake my head. "Not that far, but enough to hurt E."

"But he isn't your boyfriend, right?"

I give a small nod. "He isn't, but he was there for me when no one else was and I was in a very bad place."

Blush nods a few times before rolling her eyes with a deep exhale. "Ah, trauma bond," she declares knowingly.

"Yeah," I agree, the weight of her words settling in. "I guess it is."

She applies more dye, her hands working through my hair. "It's tough, you know. Those bonds can feel so real and deep, but they're built on shaky fucking ground."

I nod in agreement. "I know. It's just hard to get around all of this."

Blush gives me a sympathetic smile. "It always is, Noir, but you're strong, and you'll get through it. Just make sure you take care of yourself first. Fuck guys."

Her words make my brows pinch, sparking curiosity about her personal life. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

She scrunches her small nose in disgust. "Hell no. I eat pussy," she says bluntly, causing my eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. She throws her head back with a laugh, which makes me laugh along with her.

"Don't worry, you're safe, but only because Hell caught you before I did," she teases, winking at me in the mirror and I shake my head with another laugh as she continues. "Saying that, there is only one man on this planet I would gladly fall to my knees for."

"Who?" I ask, tilting my head to the side, intrigued.

She leans in closer, a mischievous sparkle in her pink eyes.

"Wrath," she whispers.

I blink, taken aback as I respond. "Wrath?"

Blush nods, a dreamy look on her face. "He's... something else. You know when you just know they're beyond dangerous, but you're drawn to it anyway? I've heard some things. Terrible things, but a girl can dream. Apparently, he's into girl on girl too." She shudders out, "Fuck, I would love to eat pussy in front of him while he screws my ass from behind."

I roll my lips inward with a smile, "Jesus, Blush." I giggle out.

She gives me a big grin and a shoulder shrug. "Although I know it will never happen, a girl can fantasize, right?"

I lift a brow, "Why won't it ever happen?"

She lets out a long breath before explaining, "When I say he is dangerous, Noir, I am not fucking lying. He is worse than Hell. I would be putting my life in danger, and I like my life better."

"But does he know you're interested?"

She lifts her shoulders again. "I don't know, he is mute and doesn't speak, so I have never approached and flirted with him if that's what you mean."

After covering my hair, she slips off her black latex gloves. "I'm going to make us a drink. I think we could both do with one or two."

As she heads to the small kitchen area, I take a moment to process what she said. Wrath—more dangerous than Hell. It's hard to imagine anyone more dangerous, yet here we are, talking about it so casually and as if all this insanity is fucking normal.

Blush returns with two glasses filled to the brim with a vibrant, neon pink cocktail. "Here," she says with a big smile, handing me one. "To surviving murderous men or women and living to tell the tale."

I chuckle and clink my glass against hers. "Cheers to that."

We take a sip, the sweet alcohol burning beautifully down my throat, and I continue the conversation. "So, you've never even tried to get close to him?"

Blush shakes her head. "Nope. Like I said, I value my life. Plus, he's got this crazy aura that just screams ‘stay the fuck away.' But it doesn't stop a girl dreaming."

I nod, understanding more than I let on. There's something intoxicating about the red flags, about the forbidden. Hell has that same allure, and despite my better judgment, I'm drawn to it like a moth to a flame, especially now he has had his hands all over me, showing me exactly how dominant he can be and what he can do to my body.

"So, what's the plan for Dark Night?" I ask, changing the subject.

She narrows her eyes, and I instantly know she isn't going to tell me in full detail what Dark Night is about, just like everyone else here. It's like they're telling me, but only in code, keeping me on the edge of my seat so I don't know what to truly expect.

"The usual stuff," she answers cryptically.

I sigh, the familiar feeling of frustration stirring inside of me. "Yeah, I figured," I murmur.

Blush suddenly brightens up. "Hey, after this, we should head over to the carnival for a few hours!"

My eyes meet hers in the mirror, and I think about it. Why not go and have fun for the night? Maybe it's needed. A distraction and a break from all the bullshit, so I give a small nod in response with a smile. "Sure, let's do it."