Chapter 9

After hours of rigorous training, I'm a sweating mess, my body is throbbing with exhaustion, and I am not feeling myself. I've pushed myself to the limit, perfecting a small routine for the performance hasn't been easy on my body or mind.

The tent is nearly empty now, darkness falling outside. Blush watches me intently as she backs away, her pink gaze reflecting admiration. "You did well today, Noir. You're a natural."

I follow her with a small smile, and as we make our way out of the tent, I look at Hell, who is now with Soul and Wrath. Our eyes meet briefly until I am fully out of sight.

As Blush and I head for the exit, the sounds of music and screams reach my ears, causing my brows to furrow.

"Wait, is the carnival open?" I ask as we approach the exit.

"Yeah, it's open to the public mostly every day of the week. The Cirque is open late Saturday nights, but Dark Night is once a month, and it's a private event, away from public eyes."

I cast a curious glance at her beside me as we draw closer to the bustling atmosphere outside. "What is Dark Night? I still haven't been told."

The carnival atmosphere is both exhilarating and chilling as Blush speaks beside me. "Well, think this but plus one hundred in fear."

As we come to a stop at the exit of the tent, I look around, taking in the sights of the horror carnival coming to life. The rides are all in motion now—the rollercoaster roaring along its tracks, the riders' shrieks filling the air and the massive Ferris wheel is full of twinkling lights as it slowly turns.

Workers jump out at visitors, their disfigured masks eliciting screams from the crowd. Tricksters perform daring acts with knives and fire, catching everyone's attention. Sinister laughter echoes from hidden corners, and shadowy figures lurk in the darkness, their eyes glowing with malevolent intent. Twisted amusements stands offer prizes, their gifts ranging from deranged toys, masks, and fake severed limbs, adding to the eerie atmosphere.

When a guy sluggishly strolls past us, my eyes widen and follow his every move. I observe the frightening scarecrow bag obscuring his head with a bloodied axe dragging behind him, the sharp noise of the blade against the concrete slicing through the air.

Nearby, a young woman with long red hair, dressed as a creepy clown, cackles, and skips merrily through the sea of people, swinging a baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire dangerously close to bystanders.

My eyes flash to Blush and she continues with a menacing grin. "This is tame compared to what Dark Night is about. The cirque, carnival, the glass maze, and the death rooms are open."

I shake my head, utterly confused. "What do you mean the death rooms? Where are they?"

She nods to the huge Ferris wheel. "It's hidden behind the wheel. It's closed right now, otherwise, I would show you, but you will see it next week, I'm sure."

"You didn't answer the first part—"

"Hey, isn't that the guy you're here with?"

My head turns swiftly as soon as she cuts me off and I scan the crowded area until I spot Eli standing by one of the rides, operating it.

I notice he is talking to a young girl and my brows pinch. "Who is she?" I ask before looking at Blush, and she cocks her head to the side as she answers. "Her name is Stephanie; she comes here often. She's obsessed with this place and visits every weekend."

I nod before looking over in their direction again but when I see him leaning in, tucking her hair carefully behind her ear, a strange feeling settles in my gut. The scene before me is more bothering that the monsters roaming around, and it's certainly not jealousy that I feel. It's something deeper, something that feels like a warning.

I tilt my head to the side, "How fucking old is she?"

"Hmm... Around seventeen I think."

My brow raises and my blood boils, but before I can react, I hear Madame's voice behind me. "I don't want you doing too much, Noir. After your small performance and introduction, you should enjoy the show."

I turn around to face her, desperate to escape the violent thoughts swirling in my mind. I offer a small nod and she continues. "Get some rest. You worked hard today."

I give her a half-smile before something springs to my mind. "I don't suppose you have any spare curtains for our trailer, do you?"

She gives Blush a brief glance before her eyes return to mine. "Sure. I'll have Billy come and fit some."

It's late evening and I am standing in front of the bathroom mirror; I stare at myself with a dead look in my teary eyes. Tonight, I am feeling the full effects of having no medication. I am suffering. My mood is so low that I am finding it almost impossible to claw my way out of the depression. Eli isn't here, and it's driving me insane being here on my own, but also I know I need to be on my own.

As a tear drops down my cheek with a blink, I give a quick glance at the razor hanging up in the shower. My gaze lingers, and my mind screams for me to hurt myself just to relieve some of the pain that lives inside me. I squeeze my eyes shut, facing aside, trying to stop myself.

Images of my past life flash before my eyes as I drop to my knees. I kick my feet against the tiles, pushing myself into the nearest corner, covering my ears as I hear his voice repeatedly in my mind, whispering horrible things.

Kyro. My stepfather. The man who abused me from the moment my mom died until I escaped. The man who chained me up, never to see daylight or the outside world during my late teens. The man who destroyed everything about me just because he could, and he knew I had no one else. There was no one to come and save me from his cruelty because no one even knew I even existed. Except Arabella of course.

The memories flood back, each one a searing blade cutting deeper into my soul. His evil laughter, the feel of his rough hands on my body, and the suffocating darkness of the room where he kept me. The sense of hopelessness and despair that seemed to swallow me whole. Even now, months later, his voice still echoes in my head, a constant reminder of the trauma I faced.

I rock back and forth, trying to drown out the noise, but it's relentless. The weight of the past crushes me, making it hard to breathe. I want to scream, but I know no one can save me from these demons. They're a part of me now, embedded deep within, feeding on my pain. I can't give in. I won't let him win. I've come too far and fought too hard to be free of him, and I refuse to let his memory destroy me.

Slowly, I open my eyes, forcing myself to breathe deeply to calm my racing heart. I focus on the present and on the things I can control. I am stronger than he ever knew—stronger than even I knew.

When I suddenly hear the trailer door open and shut, I quickly wipe my eye's, knowing Eli is home. After I have fixed myself and slipped into my black tracksuit, I gently open the bathroom door and head toward the kitchen, where I hear him moving around.

As I enter, he has his back to me, busy preparing food. He side-eyes me, sensing my presence, and I go to the coffee pot.

Pouring myself a large mug, I decide to break the silence, feeling the tension already thick in the air. "How was your first evening at the carnival?"

He doesn't respond immediately, just keeps chopping vegetables and the sound of the knife hitting the cutting board fills the room, amplifying the uneasy silence between us.

After a moment, he finally speaks, his tone devoid of its usual warmth. "Yeah, good."

I take a sip of my coffee while observing him carefully, the heat spreading through me.

"Who was that young chick I saw pestering you?" I question, trying to probe him after the uneasy feeling I had when I first saw him with her. Wondering if that is what has triggered my downward spiral tonight.

He immediately stops cutting the vegetables, pausing to think about my question. "Who was that guy I saw you had your legs wrapped around?" he counters my question with a question, his voice sharp.

My teeth grind down hard before I slam the mug down on the counter beside me, "I work with him, E. That's Hellion, the ringleader of The Hollow's here. I'll be working with him a lot. He is not a customer." I bite back.

I know I am lying to him and probably myself. Hell is becoming so much more than just someone I work with. He is becoming my stalker and a pain in my fucking ass.

Eli suddenly faces me, clearly not convinced, "Really? It didn't look like just work to me. He had his hands all over your ass," he raises an eyebrow with his accusation.

As he turns back around, I draw a deep breath, trying to keep my temper in check, after the evening I've had.

"Neither did that girl. How old was she?" I tilt my head to the side my question laced with suspicion.

He suddenly snaps, his voice filled with bubbling anger. "Fuck off, Noir."

I narrow my eyes, scanning him more intently and I continue to press, the unease in my gut growing. "You're into younger chicks now?"

He suddenly turns, pointing the knife in my direction and my body tenses. His eyes are cold, his teeth clenched as he bites on his words. "I said fuck off!"

I stare at him blankly, masking the turmoil inside me. This reaction is so unlike Eli. He's usually so kind and sweet, but now he seems like I am looking at a stranger. We've only known each other for four months, confined to a truck, but is this who he truly is when we're living together? His entire demeanor has changed since we came here.

The silence stretches, heavy and uncomfortable, yet I know I need to make my feelings clear, "Don't worry, E, you're not bound to me. You can do what the fuck you want." I say coldly.

I take a step forward, my dark gaze unwavering. "But let me make one thing clear. If I find out she's underage, I will take your fucking balls off and replace your eyeballs with them."

My voice is steady, showing him a side of me he's never seen since he gave me the same courtesy. "I don't like child abusers," I declare through clenched teeth.

He stares at me, his eyes scanning mine as I lean over, unfazed by the knife in his hand and take a chopped raw carrot off the counter and pop it into my mouth. As I draw back, he turns away, showing me his back.

I chew on the carrot, closing my eyes, trying to reclaim my inner peace, to push away the shadows of the past that threaten to overwhelm me. The room is thick with tension, the silence oppressive.

When I open my eyes once more, I watch him for a little longer, then turn and head to the bedroom. As I close the door behind me, I lean against it, taking a moment to gather my thoughts before heading for bed.