4

Stella

This isn't how I expected it would feel. I had imagined having a family with Max plenty of times. Some of our own and some that were lost orphans, the way I was before Max took me in. But not so soon.

All of the books I read spoke of health risks when a mother was too young, and giving birth at fifteen was certainly too young.

Whenever I had imagined falling pregnant, it had been joyous and spectacular because it was something Max and I chose. But this was peculiar and disorienting, almost like I was watching it happen to someone else.

Remy was still sitting across from me on the edge of the coffee table, her elbows resting on her knees, and she was so hopeless. Her eyes were usually hard but they were especially dark today. Her skin was tan but gaunt, and she wore long sleeves, even in the hottest days of summer, to hide the scars on her arms.

"Are you ready?" Remy asked at length, her voice flat and defeated. "Should we let the others know what's going on?"

I nodded because I couldn't keep this from them. There were only five of us in the house, and we were all a family. Max and I had only kept our relationship private because that was what had happened naturally.

My first memories were of Max, and he had kept me safe no matter what. From the very start, we had held hands and cuddled often, and as we got older, we started kissing, and eventually, we touched in more intimate ways.

As it was happening, it all felt like such a natural, loving progression. Max had been my best friend and my protector since the moment we'd met. I had never truly known a life without him, and I never wanted to.

When we were younger, I would crawl into his bed at night because I was scared, but it had been a long time since I had been really scared here in the lakehouse. I kept crawling in his bed at night, anyway, because I liked being with him, and I liked how it felt when we touched.

I loved him completely, and he loved me the same.

"Max, Boden, Serg, you can come back in." Remy stood up when she called for them, because she tended to pace when she was distressed. I think she felt safest with distance between her and everyone else.

Max returned first, hurrying over to sit on the arm of the couch next to my head, and he looked down at me with worry darkening his eyes.

"What is going on?" Boden asked, and his gaze was on Remy as he and Serg entered the living room.

"Um. So… there is no point in dancing around it." Remy took a deep breath and rested her hands on her hips. "I think that Stella's illness is… because she's pregnant."

" What ?" Boden and Serg shouted in unison, immediately followed by Boden growling, "Who's the father?"

But I barely even noticed them. All I could see was Max, and the tears already forming in his eyes. In a trembling voice, he asked me, "We're having a baby?"

"I think maybe, yeah," I admitted with an uneasy laugh .

"Holy shit." He smiled and wiped roughly at his eyes. "This is amazing." He dropped to his knees beside me, and he touched my belly next to Ripley's big lion paw.

"I've been walking for days, and I need a minute," Remy abruptly announced and went upstairs.

Boden collapsed back in the chair, looking as though he might be sick. "You're both so young," he said, and he spoke like stating the facts aloud could somehow change them. "How did this happen?"

"We were trying to be careful," Max insisted. He squeezed my hand but kept his eyes downcast, afraid to meet anyone's gaze.

"What does ‘careful' mean in this context?" Boden asked.

"I think I'm going to the library to see if there are any books on pregnancy," Serg excused himself and left down the hall.

"We only ever made love," Max said.

"Making love and having sex are the same thing, according to Remy," I whispered to Max.

"What?" he asked, then looked to Boden in confusion. "How come you and Remy don't have kids? If sex and making love are the same thing, what are you two doing?"

"We…" Boden looked down and tapped the arm of the chair with his fingers. "Your sister and I… need to come up with a much better plan for your sex education." He exhaled roughly. "And she never … Remy can't get pregnant."

" Oh ." Max's face fell in understanding. "From the experiments back at the government quarantine?"

Neither Max nor Remy talked about it much, but I knew that they had both spent some time as medical experiments in a military quarantine zone. They had what Max called "special blood" because it attacked and successfully warded off the lyssavirus genotype-8. Meaning they were immune to becoming a zombie.

Max and I shared almost everything with me, and even he didn't like talking about it. All I really know was that doctors had tortured them, leaving them covered in scars, and the quarantine zone fell before they found a cure or a vaccine for the zombie virus.

Boden was quiet, staring off into space, and then finally, almost to himself, he said, "Maybe that's why we had such a blind spot. You're only kids, and we didn't think pregnancy was an option for anyone."

Then he looked over at us. "How long has this been going on?"

Max shrugged one shoulder. "Always."

" Always ?" Boden raised his eyebrows in disbelief.

Then, realizing his mistake, Max's face turned crimson and he hurried to amend, "The physical part like… only a year, maybe. Less, I think."

Boden settled back in the chair. "Well… this is a shock. I am in shock. But people have been having babies for thousands of years, even young ones like you, and it will be okay. We'll figure this out together. I mean, raising a baby can't be harder than surviving a zombie apocalypse, right?"