Chapter 12

That they were brothers was immediately apparent. There was a strong family resemblance. Hivery looked very much like Gorg, with the normal slight differences in appearance all brothers seemed to have. Hivery’s hair was a bit darker than Gorg’s, and he was taller and heavier than Gorg. Also, Hivery’s features didn’t quite meet the “golden ratio” measure of beauty that Gorg’s did — his nose was a bit too large, and his eyes were too wide-spaced — but he was a good-looking guy just the same, with lovely iridescent tentacles very similar to those his brother sported.

Gorg immediately made introductions. Ebbie could tell he was nervous, no matter that he’d assured Ebbie that Hivery would be accepting. “Ebenezer, this is my egg brother, Hivery. Hivery, this is my life mate, Ebenezer. We call him Ebbie for short.”

“I’m pleased to meet you, Hivery,” Ebbie said. He held out an outstretched hand.

“Am I supposed to give you something?” Hivery asked, a frown creasing his forehead as he stared at Ebbie’s outstretched hand.

“No. It is an Earth custom to shake hands to show friendship. We are showing one another that our knife hands are empty,” Ebbie tried to explain.

“Ah. I understand. Practical, I suppose, when one does not have tentacles.” Hivery gripped Ebbie’s hand and gave it several hard, exaggerated pumps.

“Good. Now that we’re all acquainted, we have only these couple of trunks to add to the weight of the ship, Hivery. We’d like to leave as soon as possible,” Gorg said.

Hivery held up a hand. “Mama said your life mate is with child. I am unfamiliar with Earth’s birth process. I do not wish to mess the inside of my ship up with birth fluids while en route to Jizm.”

Gorg shook his head. “You have nothing to worry about. Earth has the same trimester pregnancy term that Jizm has. He was knotted during the beginning of Renewal. It is not yet the beginning of the Little Death season. He has plenty of time before he delivers during the Birth season. We will safely be on Jizm before that happens.”

Hivery didn’t look completely convinced, but he nodded. “Very well. We should leave as soon as possible. As you know, pregnant people should not use the transporter for safety reasons. We’ll have to fly home. There was another meteor storm nearing the Milky Way near the Heliocentric Solar System. I do not wish my craft to suffer the same fate your hunk of space junk did.”

Gorg seemed to take offense at that. “My ship was cherry. It was an antique, a fine piece of machinery that ran like clockwork until that meteor storm hit it.”

“It was a dilapidated piece of space garbage, and I’m surprised it made it this far from Jizm.” Hivery lifted his nose in the air.

“Ha! It was miles better than the hunk of nickel-based superalloy that rolled off the automated assembly line that you fly! My craft was hand made, piece by piece and bolt by bolt!”

Brothers, it seemed, were the same everywhere, especially when it came to their toys.

Ebbie stepped between them, holding his hands protectively over his belly. “Boys! Can we measure penises later? I’d like to get off this planet and on the way to my new home before Birth season, if you please.”

Hivery huffed. “My penis is superior. Everyone knows this.”

Gorg scoffed. “Your mate is telling you false tales, Hivery. Your penis is subpar. I have seen you in the hydro cleansing units.”

“Please, knock it off, the both of you!” Ebbie ordered. He picked up a suitcase and shoved it into Gorg’s tentacles, which wrapped around the piece of Samsonite. “Here. Take this, and let’s get going.”

“Knock what off what?” Hivery whispered to Gorg in a voice still loud enough for Ebbie to hear.

“I believe my life mate wishes us to cease bickering.”

“Then why didn’t he just say that?” Hivery picked up the other suitcase and led Gorg and Ebbie toward the gangplank into his vehicle.

“Earthlings rarely say exactly what they mean. I have learned this since my arrival. They are a quite verbose species.”

“Are you saying I talk a lot?” Ebbie asked, a bit vexed at the description.

“Not if it makes you feel badly, little love,” Gorg said. His overly patronizing tone only served to make Ebbie angrier.

“I am not verbose! I always say only what I mean, when I mean it, and how I mean it. How could you think I jabber on like a jay? I rarely speak.” He turned toward Hivery. “Sometimes, I don’t even offer information. I only answer a direct question. I can’t help it if my answers require lengthy explanations. I am not a chatterbox!”

He didn’t miss the look of understanding that passed between the brothers at his rather rambling, loquacious defense and clamped his jaw shut. He resolved not to say another word except in response to a direct question and then to keep his answer to “yes,” “no,” or “maybe.”

This sworn oath lasted all of three minutes until he walked onto the ship, and an interrogation spewed forth from his mouth in an unstoppable deluge of questions.

“What’s in there?” “What’s that for?” “How does that work?” “What does that do?” “Where’s the bathroom?”

The last question turned out to be the most imperative, as reinforced by Ebbie’s I have to pee now dance.

“There is an elimination room just to your right. The anti-fecal matter pills are in the small silver canister. Keep in mind that once we launch, it cannot be used until we reach outer space and microgravity.”

“How long will that take?”

“Not long. We’ll be travelling at the speed of light, so roughly three Earth hours,” Gorg explained. “Until then, you will have an elimination vacuum in your suit.”

“I am not pissing in my pants!”

“Then you will need to hold it. I have seen you when you need to relieve yourself. You will be strapped into your chair — I do not think you will be able to do the pee dance very well then.”

Gorg helped him into his space suit, which wasn’t as bulky and futuristic as those he’d seen on astronauts, but not the lamé, formfitting suits of the 1960s space shows he’d watched in reruns, either. To his relief, the elimination vacuum wasn’t bothersome at all.

He took his seat in a chair behind Gorg’s, who would sit next to Hivery at the controls in the cockpit.

The chair was actually quite comfy, and Ebbie settled in as Gorg fastened his three-point seatbelt.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything? A drink? Some snacks? We can’t serve anything once we take off until we reach microgravity.” It was obvious Gorg was truly interested in Ebbie’s comfort, and it warmed Ebbie’s heart.

“Is the take off going to be rough? It always looks so rough on television,” Ebbie asked. “Will the baby be okay?”

Gorg smiled at him and kissed his forehead. “Our takeoffs and landings are — usually — as smooth as silk. Mine wasn’t, but that was because of the damage I took from the meteor storm. This one should be, how do you say it? A piece of a walk in the cake park.”

Ebbie chuckled, albeit a bit nervously. “It’s either a piece of cake or a walk in the park. One or the other.”

“Ah. A piece of cake, then. You like cake. This will be fine.” He leaned down and kissed Ebbie properly, then went to his own seat next to Hivery.

Hivery and Gorg spoke to one another in a blurbbery sort of language that seemed quite wet to Ebbie’s untrained ear, then he felt the slightest of tremors beneath his feet.

There were no windows, other than the one in the cockpit, but Ebbie could see enough in the space between Hivery and Gorg to see that they’d taken off and were heading up.

As in straight up, into the clouds, even though to Ebbie it felt as if they were flying horizontally. It was the weirdest thing, but he guessed Jizmite technology was so far advanced that he wouldn’t understand it even if it were explained to him. Science was never his forte anyway. He could barely program the clock on the microwave.

Within moments, or so it seemed to Ebbie, the skies darkened, and the stars winked on. He wished he had a better view, but knew he had to stay buckled in for his own safety and that of the baby.

“How long will it take us to reach Jizm?” He asked, once it seemed as if most of the busywork of liftoff was over for Hivery and Gorg.

“Just three of your Earth days,” Hivery replied. “Of course, we’re traveling at the speed of light, which means it’s much, much longer, but that’s science for you.”

Suddenly, Ebbie was struck by a terrifying thought. “Am I going to age?”

“Yup. Three whole days worth,” Gorg answered and chuckled. “Don’t worry, love. It’ll be fine. Soon we’ll reach microgravity, and you can unbuckle and come sit on my lap to enjoy the view.”

“I suddenly have about a million questions to ask you, most of which I probably should’ve asked before we left Earth.” Ebbie felt those million questions bubbling around in his gut, making him feel slightly queasy.

Hivery spoke up. “Like what? Now is as good a time as any. It will help pass the time.”

“What kind of food do you have on Jizm? Will there be stuff I can eat? Gorg, you know what we eat on Earth? Is it the same or similar?”

“It is, just faster,” Gorg replied. “Sometimes it gets away, but we have frozen if you don’t want to bother chasing it down.”

“Oh, my God. I’m going to be sick,” Ebbie moaned. “I can’t hunt. I never even played violent video games because I hate the sight of blood.”

“Never fear, love. I will hunt for you. Always. And for the baby. Plus, we have farms that grow vegetable matter for us, and fisheries. You will be fine. The food on Jizm is quite tasty. I think you will like it.”

“What about doctors? I’m not a Jizmite. Will doctors know how to treat me when I give birth, or if I get sick?”

“Aside from our tentacles, we are quite similar on the inside. At least, that’s what we’ve always been taught in Extraterrestrial Anatomy at University,” Gorg explained. “I shall deliver our child. It is tradition. A doctor will be nearby in case of complications, of which, I am confident, there will be none. Also, my mother will be there, and she delivered all of her own plus several dozen of our friends’ and relatives’ babies.”

“But no human hybrids?”

“No, this will be our planet’s first human hybrid baby. Isn’t that exciting?” Hivery asked. “My own wife, Listeria, has had two successful births on Jizm. She has live births, too, as you will have, so you see? Everything will be fine.”

“Except she is a she, but I’m a he , and on Earth, boys don’t have babies!” Even Ebbie could hear the note of panic creeping into his voice.

“Ebbie, we spoke about this, remember? Your body will change to accommodate your birth needs.”

“I remember. I’ll grow a fucking pocket.”

“More like a pouch, but that’s the gist of it,” Hivery said. “It’ll go away after the birth. Listeria might be a girl, but on her planet, they cough up their babies like hairballs. It’s most unattractive. She had pouch-births as well.”

“Isn’t nature amazing?” Gorg asked. “Our knotting ensures pregnancy, and our semen contains the building blocks necessary to ensure a healthy, safe delivery.”

“It’s a miracle,” Ebbie said, not thoroughly convinced but feeling a bit better knowing that he, at least, would not need to upchuck their child into the world.

A short while later, after another half dozen questions were asked and answered and a rather tedious and longwinded if sprightly debate between Hivery and Gorg about the best way to change the oxygenator spring on a ‘356997 Venusian spacecraft ran its course, Ebbie felt a strange sensation. It was as though he weighed nothing, was as light as air, and his body pulled up at the restraints keeping him tethered to the seat.

“This is it! We’ve reached microgravity.” Gorg announced. He unlocked his safety harness and floated toward the ceiling. “Now, wait for me, Ebbie. The first time in microgravity can be disconcerting. I don’t want you to bump your head.”

He helped Ebbie out of his harness, and to Ebbie’s shock, they both floated toward the craft’s ceiling. Ebbie put up one hand — it felt as if he were moving in slow motion — to brace against the ceiling.

“You’ll get the hang of it very quickly. Just don’t make any powerful moves. For example, don’t push off from the wall because you’ll slingshot across the vehicle,” Gorg said. He kept a firm hand on Ebbie’s arm as Ebbie floated around the cabin.

“This is amazing!” Ebbie laughed with the joyous abandon of a child and did a slow somersault in the air. His delight seemed to infect the others because they laughed, too.

“It’s never quite as magical as it is the first time, huh, Hivery?” Gorg asked.

“No. After a while, it’s just the same old anti-gravity feeling.” Hivery laughed again. “But your mate really seems to be enjoying himself!”

“Come, love. Let’s sit awhile. You’ll have three days to enjoy floating around the cabin. Right now, come say goodbye to Earth.”

That took the air right out of Ebbie’s balloon. He felt deflated as he allowed Gorg to float him to the cockpit. “Can we never come back again? I didn’t know that I’d never be able to go back! Not even for a visit?” He began to feel anxiety creep in again.

“Of course we can! I just need to get a new ship, but you certainly don’t want to return until after the baby is born! We just left it!” Gorg sounded upset and confused.

“Oh, I thought you meant I’d never see Earth again, and there things about it I want our child to experience. Like Disneyland, and sledding, and…and…”

“And the holidays?”

“You are fixated on the holidays! Holidays are for suckers. They’re just a plot to get people to spend more money than they should.” Ebbie huffed and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Eep. Touched a sore spot with your mate, huh?” Hivery asked. He turned to Ebbie. “He’s always been like this, even on Bloober Day. Always wanting more than a good fart.”

“Earth celebrates lots and lots of holidays, Hivery, not just one.”

“One is one too many,” Ebbie grumbled under his breath.

“Do I need to take out the time shift processor again?” Gorg asked Ebbie.

Ebbie’s eyes grew wide. “No. I learned my lesson. I swear. It’s just going to take me a while to adjust, that’s all. I mean, falling for an alien, getting pregnant, leaving my planet…it’s all a bit much. Throw in the true meaning of the holidays and I’m on overload.”

Gorg smiled. “That’s alright. We’ll have lots of time to adjust. Now look…there’s Earth. See it? Third planet from the sun.”

“I see it! Oh, it’s beautiful. I’m going to miss it.” Ebbie didn’t realize how much he’d miss it until that moment. Tears welled up and lifted off his cheeks, floating to the ceiling.

Gorg caught one on the tip of his finger and brought it to his lips. “Your tears taste like the sea, but far less salty. I think your people may have had their beginnings in the sea, as mine did.”

Ebbie nodded. “If you believe in evolution, we did. As single cells, floating in the deep darkness.”

He looked out the window, marveling at the unfathomable scope of space and the improbability of how one lone alien could’ve traversed it and found him on that little blue planet and changed his life in so many incredible ways.