Chapter 7

Chapter

Seven

December 11 th

7:03 A.M.

“Mom, are you really going to let Donovan woo you?”

The question, asked so innocently by her seven-year-old son, caught Jessica completely off-guard.

Last night, she’d been expecting Freddie to ask about Donovan, about the flowers, the Lego, the box full of more desserts than either of them could eat, even though she’d given them both a small dinner so they could fill up on sweet treats. But last night he hadn't been interested in talking about anything other than his day at school, some YouTube video he and his friends were all nutty over, and the soccer game next weekend where they were taking on a team they’d never beaten and had determined this would be the first.

Now it seemed he was ready to ask about their future.

Jessica was painfully aware that whatever choice she made she wasn't just impacting her own life but her son’s as well.

That made knowing what she was supposed to do that much harder .

If it was only her heart on the line, then maybe— maybe —she would be able to take that risk, but getting her little boy hurt would scare her off men for the rest of her life.

Grabbing both their plates, she sat down at the kitchen table opposite her son, she needed to be able to gauge his reactions to this conversation. Just because Freddie was a mature kid who hardly ever caused her much trouble didn't mean she wanted to parade a man into his life without knowing there was going to be a happy ending.

Only there was no way for her to know how things would work out if she gave Donovan a chance.

Maybe she’d fall in love and have the perfect family life she’d always dreamed of, but maybe she wouldn't.

Once already she’d given into those dreams and gotten burned.

Trying it a second time was so much harder.

“Honestly, Freddie, I don’t know,” she told her son.

“You don’t like him?”

“I don’t know him well enough to decide whether or not I like him.” That was both true and untrue. There was attraction there, and so far, Donovan had been insistent but not in a pushy way, and respectful of her.

Those things had also been true of her ex.

They’d been high school sweethearts. With both their parents urging, they’d gotten married the summer before starting college. At the time she’d felt so grown up, so sure that she was going to spend the rest of her life with him that it hadn't mattered that she’d been pregnant at nineteen and a mom at twenty. She’d thought she had a partner who would always be there for her.

After all, those were the vows they’d made.

For better or worse.

Only life as a young parent, all the responsibilities of work, home life, and raising a child, had been too much and he’d bailed.

“He buys you flowers,” Freddie pointed out.

“Buying things for people doesn’t make someone a good person.” Just because she liked the flowers, and just because she liked the fluttery feeling in her stomach every time a new bouquet arrived, Jessica was trying to approach this with more logic than emotion .

“He bought me Lego,” Freddie added. “And he bought us dessert. I like him.”

“You do?” Kids often were a good judge of character so even though he was seven she took Freddie’s feelings seriously.

“Yeah. And if he woos you, maybe we can eat at Mrs. Grayson’s restaurant for free,” Freddie gushed, making her chuckle at the simple way a seven-year-old approached life.

“We wouldn't want to take advantage.”

“It’s not taking advantage if they’re family.” Freddie paused, his face growing serious. “If Donovan woos you, are we going to become a family? Is he going to be your husband? Is he going to be my new dad?”

Since she hadn't dated after the divorce, they’d never had to have this kind of conversation. But Jessica knew there were other kids with single parents at his school, and some of those parents had dated or remarried, so it wasn't like her son wasn't aware of what grown-ups did.

“Well, it would depend,” she said slowly. “No, we wouldn't be a family right away, but yes, maybe someday we would be. Sometimes when adults date, it doesn’t work out, and if it does then oftentimes, they do get married. If we did that would make Donovan your stepdad. But I don’t know how things will work out, Freddie. Nobody does. There’s always a risk when you let someone woo you. But I want you to know one thing for certain. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you. If I dated Donovan and we broke up, it would still be me and you against the world. And if I dated him and it worked out, you would always be my precious baby boy. No matter if I had a husband, or even if one day down the line we had more children. My love for you is never conditional on who else is in our life.”

Instead of the emotional response from her son she had been expecting, Freddie rolled his eyes and took a huge bite of toast. “I know that, Mom,” he said so matter of fact that it made her laugh.

“Good, I'm glad you know how much I love you.” Reaching over, she ruffled his dark locks making him scowl and bat her hand away. If there was one thing she knew for certain she’d done right with her son it was making sure he knew he was loved. That was a huge parenting win as far as she was concerned.

“I think you should let Donovan woo you,” Freddie announced .

“You do?” It wasn't like she needed her seven-year-old’s permission, but it certainly helped to have him on board.

“Course. Then you won't be so lonely.”

“I'm not lonely, Freddie. I have you.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have a grown-up to love you.”

Her son’s simple words touched her deeply. How could her child see that she’d been lonely when she hadn't been able to recognize it?

The upside to keeping so busy was that she rarely had time to think about the relationships in her life that were missing. Apparently, Freddie had given it some thought, though.

Taking the risk and letting Donovan in without any guarantees was scary, but when she broke it down she had to look at it one way. Would she wind up regretting not giving him a chance?