42. Olivia

42

OLIVIA

“Thank you again for bringing me Princess Sparkles, Mr. Aaron.”

“You’re so welcome, Miss Chloe. Merry Christmas.” Aaron’s eyes crinkle at the corners as he smiles down at the little girl, who’s laying in bed hugging the pink and white crocheted cat stuffie he gave her—now officially named Princess Sparkles.

We’ve spent the last three hours at the hospital, and I’ve had a lump in my throat since we walked through the front door. There are decorations hanging everywhere, and the nurses are wearing Santa hats with their scrubs, but somehow, all this seems to do is highlight that these kids are spending their Christmases here instead of at home.

As we moved from room to room, chatting with the kids and passing out crochet animals, gift cards, signed 22 jerseys, and an array of candy, I’ve felt a spectrum of emotions. Aching sadness for those who can’t be with their families today. Tentative hope for the kids who are on the road to recovery. A sense of bittersweet joy for every little face that has brightened at the sight of Aaron coming to see them.

Right now, it feels like that pesky throat lump is about to take up permanent residence in my esophagus because as we leave Chloe’s room, Aaron turns to me with another crinkly-eyed grin. “Cute, huh?”

“She was adorable,” I say, then gesture down the hallway. “Where to next?”

“Okay, so I know I’m not meant to have favorites, but I saved this kid for last because he is one of my all-time favorites.”

“Lead the way,” I say, a little misty-eyed as Aaron envelops my hand with his and we walk together to the next room.

I hang back in the doorway, watching as Aaron crouches down beside the bed of a skinny pre-teen boy and gives him a fist bump.

“Parker, my man! How’s it going?” he asks in the exact same tone that he uses to speak to his teammates.

“Aaron!” The kiddo’s smile stretches all the way across his face. “I’m so happy you’re here! I thought you couldn’t come visit today.”

Aaron shoots me a look that makes me feel tingly all over. “Last minute change of plan,” he says as he forgoes the chair by the bed and instead sits on the floor right beside the machine Parker is hooked up to. He stretches his legs out, the picture of ease. “I’m glad I could make it. This is Olivia, by the way.” He jerks his thumb towards me.

“Hi,” I say softly, still hovering by the door.

Aaron beckons me inside the room, then grins cheekily. “Santa got her for me for Christmas.” He drops his voice to a stage whisper. “Isn’t she pretty?”

Parker looks me up and down, dead serious as he considers Aaron’s question. “She is,” he finally concludes.

“What did Santa get you this year?” Aaron asks.

I think he’s made a faux-pas for a moment, because Parker is clearly too old to believe in Santa, but the kid laughs. “I asked him for new kidneys, but he just got me the new Madden for Playstation instead.”

“Madden?!” Aaron demands. “Santa’s lost his ever-loving mind. He was meant to bring you NHL 25 so you could play as me.”

Parker smirks and shakes his head. “Bo- ring .”

Aaron widens his eyes in mock-horror and then looks over and shakes his head at me. “I visit this kid all the time, we’re the best of friends, and yet he’s still a diehard Falcons fan. Couldn’t care less about hockey, no matter how hard I try to convince him that it’s clearly the best sport.”

“Football is a far superior game,” Parker claps back. “Both in video game format and in real life.”

“But my avatar in the new NHL game is a total stud.” Aaron pouts.

“Still. Bet he can’t throw a spiral to save his life.”

This insult makes Aaron howl with laughter, and Parker’s eyes gleam happily at having made him laugh like that. Meanwhile, I’m trying to soak in the whole scene. Parker clearly adores Aaron, and it’s clear that one of the things he loves is the way Aaron’s treating him. Like he’s not hooked up to a million machines and clad in a hospital gown.

Like they’re best buddies. Hanging out, and having a chat, and ragging on each other.

The lump in my throat gets bigger, my eyes more misty.

“Olivia, back me up!” Aaron calls, patting the floor next to him.

“Nah, Olivia looks smart enough to be on my side.” Parker bats his eyelids at me.

“Hey, stop flirting with my girl!” Aaron chastises with a grin, before winking at me. “Future heartbreaker, this one.”

Parker’s scrawny chest puffs with pride, while my own feels like it’s constricting with more emotions than I know what to do with.

“And also, she’s not that smart,” Aaron tells Parker, winking at me. “Do you know that she used to hate Christmas? Can you believe it?”

Parker gasps in horror, and as I slide down to a cross-legged seat next to Aaron, he places a casual hand on my knee as our conversation turns to the holidays. Parker tells us about his baby sister’s diaper exploding when his parents visited earlier today, and Aaron fills Parker in on Natalia and Nonna catching us kissing at his front door, which makes the boy cackle.

Seriously, who is this guy? How could anybody not adore him?

My prior self was clearly insane, because now, I see who he really is: a man who invests endless time, effort, and energy in the people who are important to him. Who faces up to his challenges and tackles his problems head on, because the people who matter to him are worth fighting for and believing in, even when he barely believes in himself.

It’s inspiring. When I look at myself, I see that, in contrast, I’ve been living in fear of investing in important relationships in case those people don’t invest in me, too, and caring about someone turns into something painful. And keeping that emotional distance from people left an emptiness. A loneliness.

For years, I tried in vain to fill that void with work and travel and escape. And while those things have been great, in and of themselves, they did nothing to satisfy the fundamental ache in me for connection and belonging.

Not things, not experiences, but deeper relationships that were truly meaningful.

I realize that, in this moment, there is nowhere else on earth I’d rather be than sitting on this cold linoleum floor next to Aaron, celebrating Christmas by spending time with these incredible kids, then going home to his place to spend the evening with his family.

Because it means something.

Over the past few months, I’ve felt happier than I have in years, and it’s all due to the people in my life. I have a wonderful friend in Jing and budding friendships with the ladies I’ve met through the Cyclones.

And then, I have Sofia. My brother. Aaron.

People who matter to me so much that I’m willing to risk putting myself out there and simply letting them matter this much to me.

For the first time in my adult life, I’m going to take a leaf out of Aaron’s book and fight for what— who —I love.

Which means I need to talk to my brother, stat.