Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Faina

The week between Christmas and New Year’s passes us by in a blur. We tried skiing, but after one lesson and me practically taking down the J-bar lift thing, both of us called it quits. It was decided that we are much safer and happier on two feet instead of two sticks.

That didn’t stop us from ice skating and falling all over the place though, much to the amusement of other skaters who were quick to take photos and videos and post them everywhere. It’s been great for Dex and even for me because, as Dex promised, I’ve already started receiving job offers.

Only, I’ve already made a decision.

I’m going to do this on my own. I’m going to start my own PR and marketing company. I’m just not sure where or how, but that can all be figured out later. I’m excited about it and have already started looking into business names and logos and things of that nature.

But amidst that excitement, a heaviness is eating me alive. Tonight is New Year’s Eve, and tomorrow is New Year’s Day, and then we leave on the second of January. That’s it. The rental is gone, and this trip is over, and so is my holiday fling with Dex.

We haven’t talked about it again since he mentioned extending this to another location and me shooting it down. I’m not regretting that decision either, but that doesn’t mean I want this to end. Just the thought of us going our separate ways wrecks me with a grief so powerful it steals the oxygen from my lungs.

But what alternative do I have?

Move to London after only being with a man for ten days? And we’re not even actually together. Nor has he asked me to do that. We’re both coming out of not-so-great relationships, and I know he doesn’t want to dive into another.

But I can’t be a fling anymore.

A woman he passes the time with between the sheets while playing at more for the world. When we’re alone, it feels all too real. But it’s not. It’s sex without the possibility of love, and I can’t do that with him. I already feel too much. I already pine for more.

Which is why this has to end. I broke my rule, and I caught feelings—big, fat feelings—and it sucks. But it’s also been the best time of my life, and I have no regrets, despite the imminent heartbreak headed my way.

Dex moved our Christmas dinner to tonight. Evidently, New Year’s is a big deal here. They have a glowstick and a torchlight parade down the mountain that makes the whole thing look like it’s illuminated by fire, and then fireworks at midnight. I’ll admit, I’ve never been a huge New Year’s person, but I’m excited for tonight.

Especially as I slip into the dress Dex bought me. It’s red and long, but with a plunging neckline and a monster slit up the side that makes it so I can’t wear the lingerie that finally arrived. The dress is downright sexy and hits my curves in every place it should.

By the time I exit the upstairs bathroom—since I kicked Dex out and made him use the one downstairs—I feel like a siren. Red lipstick paints my lips, and black liquid liner streaks my upper lids. My hair is down in thick, glossy waves that bounce around me as I walk down the stairs, my heels clicking on the hardwood floors as I do.

Dex is facing the Christmas tree, his back to me, his shoulders slightly hunched, and a hand on his hip as if he’s deep in thought, but when he hears me coming, he swivels around and then freezes on the spot. His eyes widen and his lips part, a flush slowly growing on the upper part of his cheeks as his bottle-green eyes dilate into twin pools of lust.

He doesn’t look so bad either. In fact, he’s downright delectable in a sharp, classic black tuxedo with a white shirt and black bowtie. His longish on top sandy-blond hair is brushed back, making his smooth face and sharp jawline more pronounced.

“Good evening, Mr. Chapman.”

He opens and closes his mouth, but no sound comes out, and that seems to make him laugh. “You’re so stunning, I can hardly form words.” He shakes his head, running his thumb along his lips. “Christ, Faina. You’re a goddess,” he rasps instead of returning my greeting. He takes a step toward me, his eyes glued to every inch of me as they do one sweep after another. “Can’t we stay in instead?”

“No way,” I tell him, reaching the bottom of the stairs and crossing the room until my fingers twine with his. “You promised me a fancy dinner.”

His free hand slides into the slit at my thigh and glides up and then back, cupping and squeezing my ass, and then he continues searching, only he’s not going to find what he’s looking for. And when he realizes I’m not wearing anything beneath my dress, he presses himself against me, making me feel how hard he is for me.

“Where are the items I bought you?”

“Unable to be worn with this dress without them showing through.”

His eyes blaze. “So you’re naked under this?”

“You’ll have to find out. Later.”

Only that answer doesn’t satisfy him, and that hand on my ass moves to my front until he’s cupping my mound, pressing his fingers firmly against my lips, and putting pressure on my clit as his fingertips skim my wet opening.

He groans, his forehead dropping to mine. “You’re torturing me.” He thrusts his hard cock into my hip. “Please, please, let me eat you now.”

“Not a chance.” But even as I say it, my core disagrees and clenches, seeking more of his fingers. He feels it and groans again, his breathing ragged.

“Most gorgeous woman I’ve ever seen, and she makes me wait even when she wants it just as badly.”

“It’ll only make this better,” I promise as I slide his hand away.

He cocks an eyebrow. “Oh, so now who’s the teacher?”

I smirk, giving him a wink. “I learned from the best. Let’s go.”

We slip on our winter coats, and then he opens the door for me, followed by the passenger door of the car. Twenty minutes later, we’re pulling up in front of the Four Seasons, the entrance lined with people. It isn’t until the valet opens the door for us and we’re bombarded by flashing lights and shouts that we realize what’s happening.

“Dex! Dex, over here. Is it true that you and Faina are now engaged?” “Dex, what do you have to say about the reports that Elsie was caught cheating on the man she left you for?” “Faina, are you moving to London to be with Dex?” “Is it true you’re secretly pregnant with his child?”

Dex races around the car and throws his arm around my shoulders, tucking me into his side to shield me from their cameras, and then pushes us through toward the entrance of the hotel. We’re quickly swallowed by the revolving door, and then there’s a woman in a sharp suit there to greet us.

“Mr. Chapman, I’m so very sorry. They arrived moments before you did. We were not alerted to their presence in time to warn you.”

Dex is ready to burn down the world as he regards her with a steady look. “Get. Them. Out. Of. Here. Now.”

“Yes, sir. We’re working on it now. Again, I’m so sorry. We have the library all set up for you as you requested. It’s this way.” She leads us deeper into the hotel, which is rustic and beautiful, but I can’t focus on any of that. Dex grips my hand, but it’s not enough for him. He’s holding me close, his body vibrating with anger, and the moment we’re led into the library and the doors are shut behind us, he’s all over me.

“Are you okay?” he asks, his voice stricken. “I’m so sorry. I have no idea how they found us or knew we’d be here now.”

“I’m fine,” I tell him, trying to calm him down by putting my hand on his flushed face. “It was… a lot. But I’m fine.”

“Faina.” He tears away from me, running a hand through his hair as he paces toward the roaring fire and then back. “They’re going to be all over us now that they’re in town.”

“I know.”

“No, baby, I don’t think you do.”

My chest quakes at what he’s intimating. And the fact that this is the first time he’s called me baby. “What are you saying, Dex?” I need him to spell it out for me.

“I’m saying maybe we should leave early.”

Genuine regret lines his features, and I turn away from him, needing to hide the sudden rush of agony that rips through me. One small blip, and he’s ending this. Just like that. A man who is used to the press. If anyone should want to run from this, it’s me, but the thought never even occurred to me.

Still, if I’m already feeling this way at the notion of it ending, perhaps doing it sooner rather than later is better. Better for my heart. Better for my head. Better for my life that he’s already thrown into an uproar.

“I suppose you’re right. Maybe leaving early is the prudent thing to do. It was going to end in forty-eight hours anyway,” I remark, walking over toward the table that’s set with white linens and beautiful crystal glasses. There’s a chilled bottle of champagne sitting in an ice bucket, and I pull it out, going about pulling off the foil so I can get to the cork.

“What?” Dex barks when the door opens, and a server enters carrying a tray with two dishes on it as well as a bread bowl, and thank God for that. Carbs will save the day.

“Miss, let me help you with that.”

The waiter sets the tray down on the side table and places the plates on top of the empty place settings and then comes to retrieve the bottle from me. I’m sure I’m the first guest to ever attempt to open their own champagne here, but I don’t care. He finishes the job I started and then, with a loud pop , opens the bottle and pours two glasses.

“For you.” He hands one to me, and I gratefully take it, downing half of it without waiting for a toast or the guy to even give us privacy. Thankfully he doesn’t comment and can clearly read a situation for what it is. “I’ll let you enjoy your amuse-bouche and be back in a bit.”

Excusing himself, I finish off the glass and pour myself a second one.

“What’s going on here, Faina? Why are you drinking like that and talking about ending this when all I said was that we should leave early?”

I turn on him to find him right in front of me, and I stagger back a step, needing the space. “Because from my understanding, we end when this ends, and I just didn’t expect you to want to run out on it the first chance you got.”

He shakes his head, anger coiling up his face. “That’s not how I meant it, and it sure as hell is not what I want.”

“You’re not making sense, Dex. You say you want to go, but I’m not sure what you’re expecting from me. What happens to me when this all ends? The world will hate me. They’ll say I broke your heart.”

He sighs plaintively. “I won’t let that happen. I won’t.”

“It won’t matter,” I cry. “You didn’t cheat on Elsie, and yet one video, a few sad words from her, and that was all it took for the court of public opinion to rule you guilty. They were asking if we were engaged. If I was pregnant. It’s a mess. So much more than a few simple pictures.”

His hard eyes are all over me, his expression stoic, so unlike him. “I still don’t see why this has to end. Even if our holiday does.”

I shake my head, turning that over in my mind for a moment. “How can it not? We live on different continents.”

Urgently, he advances, getting right up in my face, his hands coming to my waist. “But we don’t have to, Faina. That’s what I was going to suggest.” He licks his lips nervously. “Actually, I was going to bring it up tonight anyway, just not like this. What if you came home with me to London.”

“Dex—”

“No,” he cuts my protest off, urgently grabbing my shoulders. “Just listen. Why can’t we keep this going? Why can’t we see where it takes us?”

“See where it takes us? You’re talking about me moving in with you? About me moving to a foreign country. We’ve been fooling around for just over a week.”

He shakes his head in warning, practically growling at that. “Don’t do that. Don’t dismiss this. I’ve known you practically my entire life. You’re not new to me, and neither is the way I feel about you.” He pulls away from me, pacing in an agitated circle before rounding back on me. “Fine. You’re not ready to move in with me. I get it. It’s a huge ask. But let’s give this some more time. I can stay here in the States. Or we can go someplace else. Somewhere we can be together without the world interfering.”

My eyes burn with tears as my throat closes up on me. “I already told you I can’t location jump with you.” I blow out a breath. “You wanted the world involved, and now it is. What did you think would happen with all this?” I pan my hand out toward the entrance of the hotel. “We’re all over the internet. Millions of views on your posts alone. I tried not to think about it because we were still in this bubble and that all felt so far away, so removed, but now it’s here, and that doesn’t go away simply because you’ve changed your mind and no longer want it. If we stay together, it follows us.”

He grunts and looks toward the fire. “I don’t want it to end. Ever.”

I push out a breath. “I don’t want it to end either. But I’m not sure what our alternative is.”

His gaze slingshots back to mine, desperate and intense. “The alternative is we don’t throw this away. We fight for it. We don’t wash our hands of it simply because the logistics are tough and not as we’d like them to be.”

I start to argue with him, but he quickly cuts me off, not letting me get a word in.

His hand cups my jaw, his eyes right in front of mine, fierce and unrelenting. “Do me a favor. Close your eyes and try to imagine the rest of your life. Try to imagine yourself with someone else. Someone better. Do it,” he demands sharply, and my eyes snap shut, my body trembling as tears start to leak. “Do you see him?”

I make a strangled noise, my eyes pinching tighter.

“You don’t, do you? You can’t see anyone else because there is no one better for you than I am.” His hands press in on me, forcing my eyes back open, forcing me to stare straight into his. “You talked about wanting to be loved for who you are. For not wanting someone to want to change you. I fucking love you, Faina, and there is nothing about you that I would ever change. To me, you are perfect. To me, you are everything I could ever want. You can walk away and try to find a different version of your life, but it’ll never be as good as the version where we’re together. You only die once, Faina. How do you want to live?”