Ryder

Chapter 14

I've barely had time to process what happened at the weekend with Arch. He seems to have softened, shifted, and I can't make head nor tail of it, but something's different. I got a call from Lee saying we need to talk, and although I've not had much experience with relationships, I know that's not good. So, I've taken the night off work, and I'm heading over to his.

I stand nervously, waiting at the door to be buzzed in, and I can't help but feel panic rise up and shoot through my veins. I feel weird, out of sorts, almost like I'm on drugs. As I stand and wait for what feels like an eternity, my palms sweat, and my brow creases the longer I wait till I'm finally buzzed in. I make my way to his apartment. I let out a shaky breath. This is gonna be rough. I can feel it.

"Hey," he says as he steps back from the door, letting me in.

I keep my hands in my pockets. I wanted to sweep him into my arms and kiss him. I've missed him, but from the tight-lipped smile he just gave me before darting his eyes to the floor, I think it's best I keep my hands to myself. I step into the apartment, and he walks around me. I stay standing, I shuffle my feet, and he turns to look at me. "Are you going to sit?"

"Erm, I kinda get the feeling you're gonna say what you need to say, and then I'm gonna leave. I thought standing would just, I don't know… save time." I shrug.

He sighs. "Look, Ryder, I like you. I really do, but…"

I sigh back and close my eyes, taking in a breath before opening them and focusing back on Lee.

"It's just…" He looks away and just stares at the TV, which isn't even on. "I just thought…"

"Fuck's sake, Lee. Just spit it out, will you?" I snap at him, and he flinches and turns to face me but drops his gaze.

I can feel it coming. You're too busy, it's me or the bikes, something's gotta give, we live too far away, and blah, blah, fucking blah. But what comes out of his mouth shocks me.

"My ex-boyfriend…"

My eyes shoot to his, and my brow creases.

"We bumped into each other, and one thing led to another, and we got to talking."

"What?"

"Well, he… it's just… we want to give it another shot, ya know…"

I'm shocked. I was not expecting that. "What the fuck, Lee? Have you been fucking him the whole time you were with me?" I mean, it's only been weeks, but still.

"Ryder." His face flushes, and he grimaces, "He came to see me… to apologise, and it just kinda happened. He saw the marks you left, and then it was just… I came to see you at the track to end it, but then you were so happy to see me, and well, I got swept up in you, in the sex and the way you made me feel. I just kinda forgot why I was there till I got home, and he was waiting for me."

I let out a shaky breath. "I can't fucking believe you, Lee. That's fucked up."

"I know, Ryder. I didn't want to hurt you, but I just couldn't say no to you either. You just make me feel…" He trails off and steps around the sofa to me.

He comes to a stop in front of me and gives me a sad smile. He slides his hands up my chest, and I close my eyes. My emotions are all over the place, and I take a deep breath. His hands cup my face, and I look down into his eyes, but I do not see sorrow.

Before I realise what he's doing, he crashes his lips to mine and starts to tear at my clothes, ripping my jacket off and throwing it on the floor before dropping to his knees. He fumbles with the belt on my jeans, yanks them down my legs with my boxer shorts, and grabs my dick, squeezing tight at the base before closing his lips around my shaft, sliding my dick to the back of his throat. I growlas he slides his teeth over my length and pulls, swirling his tongue around the head.

I grunt and scrub my fingers into his hair as I stare down at him. I'm hurt, I'm angry, but most of all, I'm ashamed that he's got my dick in his mouth, so I grip tighter and slam my hips against his mouth. Once I bottom out, he goes to pull back, but I grip tighter as he gags and chokes on my cock. I ease back a little as he gasps for air before I slam back in again. His hands fly to my thighs, and I feel the sting of his nails as he tries to push me back, but I smirk down at him.

"I was just a fuck to you. Wasn't I?" I spit. "Let's show you how it feels to be used, Lee. You're gonna choke on every inch of my dick till I cum down your throat, you fucking slut."

I snatch at him, yanking him back before slamming back into him again, holding him with his hair on the top of his head, sliding my other meaty hand to the back of his neck, holding him there while his eyes water and he chokes, and gags again, trying to swallow against the head of my dick as it cuts off his air supply. I let off a little and allow him to try and draw breath and cough before slamming back in. His eyes are red-rimmed, snot is sliding down towards his mouth, drool and spit are foaming from his lips and dripping off the end of his chin.

My thighs are covered with bloody half-moons from his nails, and I thrust my hips harder as I fuck his throat.

I snarl down at him, "You feel as cheap as you made me feel yet?"

But I'm not interested in the answer. I slam to the back of his throat again as I start to cum. I push him off so he falls back onto the floor as I cum all over him, firing across his face, across his clothes, as he whimpers and gasps for breath.

"You're a fucking disappointment, Lee!" I shove my dick back in my jeans, reach down and grab my jacket and turn to look at him. There's cum all over him. There is spit around his mouth, and there's snot and tears all over his face.

I want to feel awful, I really do, but all I feel at this moment is hurt, betrayed and not good enough, so I throw my jacket on and storm out of the apartment and back home because fuck him. He was a distraction. Eyes on the prize!