35. Hailey

THIRTY-FIVE

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy! You have to wake it up right now! Today is going to be the very best day of my whole entire life, and you have to get up so we can get ready!"

I peeled an eye open where I was face down on my pillow, lost to the most restful sort of sleep. The kind you could only experience after you'd been kept up for hours being worshipped, your body sagging from the exhaustion of bliss, then you fell asleep in the same arms that had taken you there.

Arms that had held me until morning.

Sure.

Strong.

He'd done it every night this week, keeping me floating on this plane of ecstasy I'd had no idea even existed.

My body was lodged somewhere between depletion and exhilaration.

A hypnotizing satisfaction that ran bone deep.

But I didn't have time to revel in it right then.

Not when my little girl was currently bouncing on her knees at my side and yanking at my arm.

"Get up, Mommy! Mr. Cody is already up in the kitchen makin' us the best breakfast because he said we really gotta have our energy if we're going to play with the horses today, and I'm so very excited!"

Forcing off the fatigue that wanted to suck me back under, I shifted around so I could push up to sitting.

My fingertips brushed down my daughter's precious face. "You're excited, huh?"

"Yes! I get to see the horses, and I get new friends! I think it's really a very special day."

Paisley had texted two days ago to confirm the barbecue she was planning so the kids could meet. I'd told Maddie about our plans last night.

Soft laughter rolled out, love pulsing against my ribs.

This was what I wanted.

For my daughter to find sanctuary.

A place where she was protected and surrounded by friends.

People who adored her.

Home.

"I think it's going to be a really special day, too."

I glanced around at my bed. The covers were rumpled and twisted.

Cody would have slinked out sometime before dawn the way he'd done each morning since I wasn't ready to explain to my daughter why he was sleeping in my room.

I didn't want to confuse her.

Didn't want to set her up for any disappointment or pain, even though I knew that was exactly where I had myself.

Lost to the words he'd issue with his lips pressed to the side of my head. Lost to the way he'd murmur praises into my sleep in the seconds before he'd sneak out my door.

Don't know how I got so lucky, waking up next to you.

You are the most incredible woman I've ever met.

Gorgeous. Sexy. Kind and strong.

I'm going to be right for you.

I fought the fizz of guilt that churned in my stomach.

I would never. I promise you, Brooke. I would never do that to you.

I pushed it down into the crypt I kept for her, praying that one day that sick feeling would evaporate.

I didn't want to look at Cody and feel shame. Not for the way I felt.

But how could I forget her? That promise? What had happened?

And it was because of me.

Maddie jumped to her feet, jostling me all over and tugging at my hand. "Hurry it up, lazy pants."

I cleared the roughness from my throat and pasted a smile on my face. "You know we're not supposed to be at my friend's ranch until three o'clock, right?"

"Um, yeah, Mommy, which means we gotta get ready!"

It wasn't even quite seven, but I relented and let her haul me out of bed.

She had ahold of my left hand, dragging me across the room. With my right, I did my best to try to sort out the bedhead I was sure to be sporting considering the way Cody had been fisting it last night.

She led me out into the main room. Rays of sunlight streamed in through the windows, ribbons of gold threaded with hope looping through the space, the warmth so distinct it hit me like an embrace.

Like I was walking straight into a mesmerizing dream.

And that's what it felt like—a dream with the man standing in the kitchen, wearing sweats and a fitted tee, his feet bare, his rugged face so handsome with his short beard and his harsh brow.

He tilted me that smirk he always met me with. The one that tied my stomach in a thousand jittery knots.

Maddie beamed as she presented me like a gift. "Look it! I got her for you, Mr. Cody, because you said you needed her real bad."

"You want me, huh?" I wheezed it, barely able to speak.

I was hanging onto Maddie's hand like she was the lifeline when I was so close to getting swept away.

"That's right, I do." He said it low and smooth, and his head was cocked to the side as he crossed the three steps it took to bring him to me. There was no hesitation in the action, just a glint in those golden eyes as he reached out and grabbed me by the cheek and dipped down to kiss me.

Close mouthed, though it sent shockwaves trembling through my body.

My heart battered at my ribs and my spirit was dislodged from the place where I'd tried to keep it protected.

From where she swayed beside me, Maddie giggled, both embarrassed and joyed in her precious, innocent way. "Are you kissin' my mommy, Mr. Cody?"

And I realized it was the first time he'd kissed me in front of her. The first time he'd touched me in front of her.

Well, other than the secreted, covert brushes when he was sure she wasn't paying attention.

His hand slid down to curl around the side of my neck, his big fingers splaying wide as if he was holding the whole of me.

He turned his gaze down to my little girl. "Do you mind if I give your mommy kisses?"

Maddie shrugged. "I guess you probably should if you love her."

The air was suddenly thick. So damned thick that there was no chance of getting it into my lungs, my chest squeezing and my pulse going erratic at the thought.

Cody looked back at me, and he brushed his thumb across my flesh, his regard both tender and acute.

Uncertain and sure.

I shivered beneath it.

His teeth raked his bottom lip before he seemed to come to a conclusion, and he pulled away to pick Maddie up from under the arms and tossed her into the air. She squealed in delight, screeching as she flew before she frantically curled her little arms around his neck when he caught her.

"You caught me," she gasped as if there was a chance he wouldn't have.

"Of course, I caught you, Button. That's what these arms are for. Holding you and your mother up. Taking care of you. Because you and your mom are important to me."

Cody glanced back at me when he said it, repeating a semblance of the words he'd spoken earlier that week. Words that tried to hook into the most brittle places hidden inside.

"Really important?" Maddie peeped.

Cody set her on the island, his hand on her leg to make sure she was safe. His attention swept between the two of us, and his voice lowered when he said, "The most important, Maddie. You and your mom are the most important to me."

"Good, 'cause I think you're really important, too."

"Is that so?"

"Mmhmm." She beamed that smile, blonde, wild ringlets bouncing around her chubby cheeks. "And it's a really important thing to know that I'm really very hungry right now."

A rough chuckle scraped from Cody's throat. "What am I goin' to do with you, Button?"

"Keep me?"

Affection bound the room. So intense I was nearly shredded by it.

Mixed in it was the unknown. That dark thing that would crowd in at the edges of Cody's aura and clot out the easiness in his spirit. The part of him I wanted to seep into, too.

Cody poked Maddie's belly, trying for light, to break out of whatever demons that held him trapped.

Squealing, she grabbed at his hand. "You got me, Mr. Cody!"

Emotion gripped him, the words a coarse, ragged grumble. "Nah, Maddie. Think you got me."

Country music played from the speakers and dust flew behind Cody's truck as he barreled down the dirt road that led to Hutchins Ranch. We'd already traveled more than forty minutes, winding through the forest as we'd left Hendrickson and made it into Time River, before we'd hit a straight two-lane road that had taken us across flat plains where the vegetation had become sparse.

The blue sky wide open above us.

We'd made the right off the main road and onto a long dirt drive, and we climbed a high hill.

Once we hit its peak, a valley opened below. The mountains that hugged Time River rose up high in the distance, and at its base we could see the river that snaked through.

The landscape was breathtaking. Awe-inspiring in its beauty.

A staggering ranch was sprawled out between, tucked in the safety of the valley. Trees grew up on the fringes and green, grassy fields stretched on for miles. A ton of buildings, barns and stables and cabins, were situated in every direction.

At the far end was an enormous house that rose out of a copse of trees, its pitched roof stretching toward the heavens.

"Wow." I didn't even realize the admiration had slipped between my lips.

Cody chuckled from where he drove.

I looked that way, and my breath was stolen all over again.

He wore his cap, jeans and a tee, a tattooed arm stretched out where he held onto the steering wheel.

He tossed a grin my way. "Caleb's the richest man in Time River. Even richer than your dad."

He wagged his brows with his pestering, and I tried to process that Cody had brought my father up at all. The disquiet I'd been carrying flared.

"You probably shouldn't go around telling my father that," I played along anyway, not sure where this conversation was going. Besides, my father might have been a shrewd businessman, but he honestly wasn't all that proud. I doubted he cared all that much about who was making more money than him.

But what he did care about was me.

The easiness in Cody's demeanor dampened. "I'm not sure there's a whole lot I'm going to be telling your father, Hailey."

I bit down on my bottom lip.

There it was.

That speck of misgiving that lingered from our past.

I knew how my father had felt about Cody.

I could still hear his warnings that he'd given me back then, and it wasn't like he'd stopped implying them once I'd returned. As if I were a child who wasn't smart enough to make her own choices.

I gripped my phone on my lap like it could erase the messages I'd ignored from him that had started coming in mid-morning.

Dad

We need to talk.

Dad

Where are you?

Dad

Don't act like a child, Hailey. I know you're getting my messages.

We'd had an argument when he'd stopped in to see me at the stables the day after Cody had been attacked. He'd looked me point-blank and told me to stay away from him. He had told me I was being foolish and any daughter of his would open her eyes.

Hurt had slashed through my insides, and I'd told him he didn't have a say, and if he was going to toss demands around like he had the right to disparage Cody and disrespect me? Then he could stay away.

The thing was, I had been foolish for years, and he hadn't had the first clue.

My voice turned earnest. A promise. "There isn't a thing you need to explain to him."

Reaching across the seats, Cody threaded his fingers through mine and gave them a slight squeeze. "Nah, neither of us need to explain ourselves."

Then Cody wavered, his teeth working at the middle of his bottom lip, his hand tightening on mine like he was the one who needed to cling to me. He kept his voice low, trying to protect innocent ears. "But you should know I got into a bit of trouble when I was working for your father. There's a reason he hates me."

I felt myself pale, the vague warnings he kept giving me rising to the forefront. "What kind of trouble?"

Cody looked to the rearview mirror, at my daughter who was watching out the windows.

I got it.

His reluctance.

I squeezed his hand back. "It doesn't matter, Cody. That was a long time ago, and this is now."

Could I claim that? Make it true? Stand in it for every obstacle and barrier that worked to keep us separated?

The promise I had made?

This guilt?

Give in and let go?

Is that what Cody wanted? Is that what we were headed for?

I inhaled around the disorder, putting it aside. "I need to figure out this other situation, anyway, then we can deal with my father."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Relief coated Cody's tone.

"What kind of plans you got, my Mr. Cody?" Maddie piped in from the backseat.

She said it like she'd had no clue what we were talking about, her voice eager and excited, the way it'd been the entire trip, though she'd finally settled down over the last ten minutes since the ride was taking longer than she'd understood that it would.

Cody glanced at her through the rearview mirror. "The plan is we're about to introduce you to some new friends, and you're going to have a blast."

"I love that plan!" she yelled.

Cody chuckled, and he squeezed my fingers some more as he glanced over at me. "What do you think of that plan, Hailey? Do you think we're going to have a blast?"

There was a tease to it. A gentle ribbing. A nudging toward what was hanging out in the periphery waiting on me to let go.

I shifted to look between him and my daughter. "I think it's going to be the best day ever."

"Now that sounds like a solid plan," Cody said.

"Yes!" Maddie shouted, throwing a little fist in the air.

Dust billowed behind us as Cody drove his truck down the dirt lane that wound through the outbuildings of the ranch, and he eased all the way around to park next to another large truck and a white Volvo with a Time River Market & Café logo in the back window.

"Are my new friends already here?" Maddie asked, squirming and yanking at the straps of her car seat.

"It looks like everyone is just getting here, don't you fret, Button," Cody told her.

"Then let me out!"

"I've got you, little one," he promised.

He hopped out of the driver's side and moved to open the back door. He leaned in and unbuckled Maddie then swooped her out and into his arms like he did it every day.

Like he was happy to do it.

Like he was purposed to do it.

Nerves thundered my pulse.

This was so different.

So new.

And it felt so good and right and I was terrified that I was setting us both up for destruction.

Because I was sure this kind of breaking would be the unbearable kind.

Because my heart ached just looking at the two of them.

But I didn't want to let reservations get in the way.

I didn't want to hide or shutter.

I wanted to open myself to this—whatever it meant or wherever it was going to lead.

Was it selfish though?

Bringing him into this?

We'd already seen exactly what happened when I did, the fading bruises on his face proof of that. But he'd sworn that he wanted to be here for us, and I had to trust in that. Believe in him when for so long I'd stopped believing in anyone.

Cody came around the back of the truck with Maddie hooked to his side. Her little arms were wrapped around his neck.

"Hurry it up, slow poke! I got friends to meet."

Cody widened his eyes. "That's right, hurry it up, slow poke."

"Someone's awful anxious."

"Me!" Maddie threw her arms high, and affection was rushing wide, radiating from both Cody and me.

Reaching out, he took my hand and brushed my knuckles across his lips.

"I'm so glad you're here," he mumbled there.

Affection bound my chest in a fist.

"Me, too," I whispered back.

It was foolish, but I was.

I wanted to be here.

With him.

He led us behind the few cars that were parked in a row toward the gathering of people on a sprawling lawn that extended out from in front of the mansion.

He didn't let me go as we walked below the rays of the sun, though Maddie wiggled to get down.

The second her feet hit the ground, the child beelined in the direction of a group of kids who were playing beneath a giant tree on the far side of the lawn, wild curls billowing behind her as she went.

Her voice carried as she sang, "Hi! I'm Maddie. Are you my brand-new friends?"

Cody chuckled as we ambled along. "There isn't a shy bone in her body, is there?"

"Not even one," I told him.

"She is something, Hailey." His voice went low.

My ribs clenched around my hammering heart. "She's everything."

His hand tightened on mine. "You both are."

Everything pulsed.

Squeezed and sped and made me weak in the knees.

I tried to clear it away when Paisley suddenly stood from one of the chairs that surrounded a patio table beneath a couple of big blue umbrellas.

"Hails Bells, get your cute butt over here."

"I'm already on my way," I called back.

She was all grins, though I watched her attention dip to where Cody had his hand wound in mine.

How much had changed since I'd met him.

There was no question left that we were together.

Dakota and Savannah shifted around.

Shock widened their eyes, and an uncertainty rippled through the hot air.

Cody didn't cringe or shirk.

He just pulled me closer and leaned in to kiss the top of my head, muttering, "Prepare yourself for the inquisition."

All the women scrambled to their feet.

Dakota, Cody's sister, made it to me first.

Nerves swallowed me whole.

She pulled me in for a tight hug. "Hailey, it's so good to see you again."

Her voice was kind, and there was no missing the sincerity of her welcome, though I could feel her peeking at her brother from over my shoulder.

I pulled away in time to see Cody lift his hands out to the sides, feigned offense written in his countenance. "What, you didn't miss me?"

"Now why would I miss you?" she taunted.

Cody scoffed, his temperament back to teasing. "Only because I'm the best damned brother you could ever have."

"The only brother I have." Dakota was laughing under her breath when she stepped up to hug him.

Lifting her off her feet, he swung her around. "It's good to see you, little sister."

Her tone softened. "It's good to see you, too. Are you coming to family breakfast at Mom's in the morning? We didn't see you last weekend."

Cody's attention slanted my way. His expression was searching, tender and sure and somehow fierce.

The ground trembled beneath my feet.

"Yeah, but I'm going to have a couple extras with me."

Apprehension flew, and I shifted uneasily, twining my fingers together at what didn't seem quite an invitation but more like a statement.

Dakota looked my way. Something close to surprised glee lit in her smile. "Ryder told me, but I wasn't quite sure I could believe it."

Her regard might have been on me when she said it, but I was pretty sure she was talking to Cody.

"Believe it, little sister," Cody told her, though he was looking at me, too.

"Okay, you two stop hogging my Hails Bells, I haven't even gotten a hug in yet." Paisley slipped in front of me and hauled me in for one of her raucous hugs, squeezing me like I was also one of the most important people in her life.

I honestly didn't know how to process it, being alone for so long and then suddenly surrounded by these incredible people who made me feel like I'd come back to the place I belonged.

Like there'd been a spot reserved for me.

Like they'd known how badly I needed friends.

That I needed to understand the significance of that again after I'd shunned the idea of it because entertaining the possibility had been too painful.

"I can't tell you how happy I am that you're here. I missed the crap out of you," Paisley said.

"It's only been a week."

"Well, I'm still missing you from all the years you were gone." I could feel her smile behind the statement, and I couldn't help the discordant, affected laugh.

"You're ridiculous," I whispered.

"No, I just know when someone is special, and all the special people belong with us. You know, because we're amazing."

"Facts," Dakota said.

Savannah was shaking her head when she stepped forward for a hug, too. "These two might be full of themselves, but in this case, I think I'm going to have to agree with them. You must be extra special to turn this guy's eye."

She glanced at Cody, and he gave me one of those slow grins as he said, "Ah, this one is special, all right."

Heat blasted my cheeks. "You all better be careful. This is liable to go to my head."

"Right where it belongs, baby. Claim it. We do." Paisley tossed an arm over my shoulders.

A giggle slipped out, and Paisley gestured with her chin toward the children where they were playing tag under the big tree. "Let's go meet all the kids. It looks like your little one slipped right in."

I glanced that way. Maddie was laughing hysterically, her arms stretched out in front of her as she chased a little boy with blond hair so light it was almost white.

My chest tightened at the sight. "I'm pretty sure you're stuck with her."

"That is the plan," Paisley said.

Cody took a step toward us, eyes raking me, searching for whatever I might need. "I'm going to grab a beer and see what the guys are up to. You good?"

"I'm great." I didn't have to search all that deep inside myself to discern it was the truth.

He reached out and touched my nose the way he often did Maddie. Butterflies swam in my stomach.

God, I was done for.

"Good," he murmured in that rough voice. "That's the way I want it."

Without saying anything else, Cody turned and started across the lawn, his round ass hugged perfectly by his jeans. There was no looking away as he wandered over to where Caleb, Ryder, and Ezra were standing around a barbecue, watching as Caleb grilled something that smelled sweet and delicious.

I didn't realize I was just staring like a weirdo until Paisley suddenly shook me, cracking up as she leaned in close. "That man is smitten, and I think someone else might be, too."

Flustered, I waved her off. "It's new."

Dakota's warm brown eyes widened. "This is my older brother we're talking about. I'm not sure if you know much about his past since this is new and all, but one thing I can tell you is he has never once shown up at any event with a woman."

"Exactly, which was why I was trying to warn you off him on Saturday. You clearly didn't listen." Paisley wound me around and started us in the direction of the kids.

Dakota and Savannah took up my other side.

"I'm going to have to say I'm glad she didn't," Dakota said. "I've never seen my brother look like that in all my life. That man is on his knees for you."

"Oh, bet he's a whole lot more than just on his knees for her." Suggestion lined Savannah's words.

More redness flamed.

Cackling, Paisley jostled me around. "Oh my God, look at her. It looks to me like Cody isn't the only one who's tripped. Head over heels, baby."

"I don't think we're quite there yet." I forced it out, needing to be pragmatic about all of this.

"Ha, you might not be there yet, but that man is already doing laps around you," Paisley said.

"Panting, completely out of breath." Dakota nodded, grinning like mad. "Or maybe she has him panting for entirely different reasons."

"I bet that man does love you up real good." Paisley leaned around, her green eyes dancing with the scandal.

Amusement wound with the mortification. "Um…am I supposed to answer that in front of his sister?"

Dakota linked her elbow in mine. "Hell yes, you are. There are no secrets between friends."

Friends.

"You might as well go ahead and dish it," Savannah said. "These two hounded the crap out of me when I first started hanging out with Ezra, demanding every detail. It's only fair."

Dakota hip checked her. "You know you love it."

Everything about Savannah softened. "I do. I love every second of it."

Tenderness billowed between the three friends, wrapping around me, prodding at me to fully let go.

To grasp onto the truth that this was worth it.

Whatever it cost.

Whatever risk I was taking.

Whatever turmoil I had to struggle and fight to get through to the other side.

It was worth it.

To give my daughter the chance at a normal, beautiful life. It was worth it.

Just like she was experiencing right then.

Maddie squealed as she copied another little girl who was doing cartwheels across the lawn, though Maddie fell onto her butt each time she attempted to do one, giggling the whole time.

A little girl with messy brown hair and giant chocolate eyes turned course when she saw us, skipping in our direction. "Mommy! We got a new best friend, and her name is Maddie, and she even likes horses as much as me and Olivia do! We have to take her to the stable so I can show her my favorite horse, Mazzy."

Paisley leaned in and murmured, "That one's mine," before she released me and knelt in front of the little girl. "We will definitely show Maddie your horse."

"Yay!"

"Yes!" Maddie clambered up behind her along with another little girl, the two of them jumping high at the news, though it was Maddie's excited voice that filled the air.

"I get to see horses, and I got so many brand-new friends, and they're so very nice, Mommy, and this is for sure the biggest blast that I ever had, just like my Mr. Cody said I was going to have."

Affection pounded, and I stood there feeling overwhelmed.

Overflowing with the magnitude of my little girl's joy.

"I'm so happy you've already met new friends," Paisley said to my daughter. "I knew you, Evelyn, and Olivia were going to hit it off."

"We hit it off a lot." Maddie gave her a big nod.

Paisley let go of a soft laugh as she stuck out her hand. "I'm Paisley, one of your mom's old friends, and I'm Evelyn's mommy."

Madison shook her hand. "It's so very nice to meet you, too. Thank you for inviting me over to your house and letting me have so much fun."

"It's my pleasure."

Maddie giggled like crazy. "No way. I got all the pleasure."

"You are just adorable, aren't you?" Paisley murmured.

I didn't pretend not to agree.

Paisley stood. "Okay, so let's do some introductions." She touched the little girl's head who stood beaming up at her. "Like I said, this is my Evelyn."

I gave a small wave. "Hi, Evelyn."

"Hi!" she sang.

"And this sweet one right here belongs to Ezra and Savannah…my niece, Olivia. And those two ragamuffins running the yard are their twins, Owen and Oliver."

Two white-haired boys who couldn't be more than four or five were currently racing across the lawn, little feet pounding the earth, their laughter floating on the warm breeze.

At the bar last weekend, Savannah had told me about how she'd met Ezra last summer, how he'd insisted she move into their guest house, and how she'd fallen in love with both the man and his three children.

I could feel her love wash the atmosphere.

A tiny boy who was probably three came tottering toward us, and he lifted his arms to Dakota. She swept him up, snuggled his sweet cheek to hers, and smiled my way. "And this is my little man, Kayden. Can you say hi to Mommy's new friend, Hailey? She's a really good friend of your uncle Cody's so I'm pretty sure you're going to be seeing her a lot."

She smirked at me.

I choked out a laugh.

"Hi, Haywee." The tiny boy reached for me with precious, chubby fingers.

I reached out to touch them, and that was it.

My heart burst.

Paisley knocked into my shoulder with hers, though this time, there was no tease to her words. "Welcome to the family."