10. Hailey

TEN

It was a few minutes after ten that night when I was in the kitchen, unloading a few boxes.

When I'd fled to Boston three months ago, I'd furnished the small apartment I'd rented the best that I could, hoping to give Maddie any semblance of normalcy. Ripping her from the only home she'd known and dragging her across the country with only the clothes on our backs and her Princess Verona she'd been sleeping with when I'd left that night hugged to her chest.

I imagined that was when she'd formed the attachment to it, when it'd become a safety net, something she could count on always being there to give her comfort.

I'd brought all our things from that apartment with us because I didn't want to fully upend her again, though she'd flourished while we'd lived there, the child coming alive in a way she hadn't in Austin, as if her spirit had been tamped and tamed there, too, and that sweet spirit had only seemed to soar even higher now that we were in Colorado.

It was the right choice, coming here. I knew it all the way in my soul. The way the ground seemed to be a little more solid beneath our feet each day, even though the man next door seemed to be doing his best to disturb it.

I was still shaking from our interaction from earlier when I'd gotten home from work.

Refusing to contemplate it, I turned back to place a stack of teal-colored plates into the cupboards with the glass doors that ran above the countertop.

Affection pulled at me when I heard Lolly shuffle into the kitchen from behind, and I tossed a glance at her from over my shoulder.

"Is she asleep?" I asked.

Her smile was sly. "Out like a light…that is only after reading her favorite book fifteen times over."

"She knows exactly how to wrap you around her finger."

"Well, I didn't get to spend a whole lot of time with her for a lot of years, so I think a little spoiling from her Lolly is in order."

"Just don't spoil her too much. She'll have you convinced there is no harm in both of you trying the monkey bars out back if you let her," I teased.

She'd been eyeing them since we moved in, but I kept telling her she wasn't big enough to give them a go yet. Of course, she'd looked right to Lolly to see if she might have something different to say about it.

Lolly pulled out a stool at the island and sat down. "You aren't implying I'm too old to take a little jaunt across the monkey bars, are you?"

"The only thing I'm implying is if you get hurt over here, my father is going to have something to say about it. Hell, he'd have you on the first plane to Santa Barbara." I raised an eyebrow at her.

She waved it off as inconsequential. "My son doesn't get to tell me how I spend my days. Bossy, that one, I tell you. He might think he gets to toss around all the orders, but I go right on like I didn't hear a word."

I sent her a soft scowl. "He just worries about you."

"Just because that man thinks he knows what's best for all of us doesn't mean he's right." She folded her arms on the counter. "God knows, he's made plenty of mistakes."

"We all have, haven't we?" I hummed.

"Yeah. The only thing we can do is hope we learn from them."

I got the sense she was trying to give a gentle prod in the direction of Pruitt, the horrible choice I'd made to stay with him for as long as I had.

"Can I get you a cup of tea?" I asked, changing the subject.

"That sounds nice."

I went about filling two mugs with water and setting them in the microwave before I moved to the pantry where I'd placed a variety of tea bags. I picked out a nice chamomile for us both.

By the time I made it back, the microwave dinged, and I set the cups on saucers, tucked the tea bags under the cups, then slid one across the counter toward her. "There you go."

"Thank you, sweet one."

Standing on the opposite side of the island, I unwrapped my tea bag, eyeing my grandmother, hating that I was feeling any nerves at all. "I need to ask you something."

Interest tipped her drawn-in brows toward the ceiling. "And what might that be?"

"I need a favor."

I didn't know why I was so nervous to ask. Probably because she was already watching Maddie for me during the days.

"What kind of favor?" she asked as she dunked the tea bag into the steaming water.

"An old friend called and asked if I wanted to go out with her and her friends tomorrow night. I don't want to take advantage—" I rushed behind it, knowing I was asking a lot.

Maddie might be the cutest thing that had ever come into existence, but I'd be a liar if I said she couldn't be a handful.

Something devious creased every wrinkle on Lolly's face. "If that means you might go out and earn yourself a bit of a reputation, you know I'm game for it."

Rolling my eyes, I took a sip of tea. "There will be no earning a reputation. I thought I'd go have a couple drinks, meet her friends, and plan to be home and in bed by ten."

Disbelief left her on an exaggerated gasp. "Well, that's no fun. I won't agree to it if you don't stay until closing. And you'd better dance your cute little booty off while you're at it."

"Lolly." Her name was nothing but an exasperated sigh.

"What?" She shrugged a shoulder to her ear. "I'm just trying to help a girl out. If I were a few years younger, I'd come with and help you scope out a little trouble."

"I'm sure you would."

Her chuckle was wry before a vat of softness swam into her features. "I'd be more than happy to watch her. You need to get out. Have a little fun. Sow some oats now that you finally got rid of fuckface."

Tea spewed out of my mouth.

"Lolly." I choked her name around the bit of tea that I'd inhaled.

She laughed, no shame. "He was a fuckface if I ever met one. Nothing but a snake."

"He wasn't a snake." The rebuttal wobbled on my tongue. "We just…didn't work out."

Her gaze narrowed. "You don't need to tell me everything, Hailey, but I sure don't need you to lie to me. I know there was something more going on over there than you ever let on."

I couldn't form any words as I stared across at her.

She gave me a tight dip of her chin, my silence an affirmation. "Good. Then we're clear about that."

Standing from the stool, she picked up her cup and rounded the island. She reached out and set a weathered hand on my cheek. There was so much love behind her touch that a wave of comfort rippled beneath the surface of my skin.

"It's time for your joy, Hailey, because I know you didn't have it in Austin. I see you struggling. Still trying to hide. But it's time to come out from behind it. Time to come out and shine. And believe me, it's going to be my pleasure getting to witness it."

Turning, she shuffled back across the kitchen and into the great room, heading for the hall that led to her room at the end. She paused to look back. "And if that comes in the form of a too-hot cowboy, then so be it."

Surprise hefted from my lungs. She had a way of leaving me speechless. Delving deep, dipping into the profound, before she turned right around and tossed snark right back in my direction.

Because I knew exactly which too-hot cowboy she was referring to. Too bad there wasn't a chance of it. Too bad no real joy could come from him. The man was heartbreak wrapped in a big, flirty bow. So easily doling out the devastation without a second thought.

Uneasiness quivered through me at the thought, something shaky in that judgement that I'd kept trying to cast. How sweet he'd been last Tuesday, offering himself freely, the words he'd given to my daughter, the way he'd whispered his sympathy to me, as if he might understand.

How could he, though? And how could I be so vile that I would even consider giving him the chance?

But the man had needled his way beneath my skin a long time ago, though it'd become stagnant in the years I'd been away, when I'd be quietly consumed by grief and sorrow and the regrets that built with each day that had passed.

Shucking it off, I took my own cup of tea and wandered into my room to get ready for bed.

I plugged my phone into the charger on the nightstand before I moved into the en suite bathroom. It carried the same theme as the kitchen, brown cabinets so dark they were almost black, the countertops a swirl of creams and browns and golds.

Tossing my hair into a ponytail, I washed my face then changed into a pair of silky teal sleep shorts and matching tank.

So yeah, teal was my signature color.

Massaging night cream onto my face, I wandered back out into my bedroom and sank onto the side of my bed. My attention drifted to the window, errant thoughts traipsing to the man next door.

Wondering if he was there or how he spent a Friday night.

I rolled my eyes at myself.

I knew full well how someone like Cody Cooper spent his Friday nights. Hell, it was likely how he spent most every night of the week. Giving someone all those smirks and teases and dishing out the type of pleasure I was most certain he had to offer.

I refused the urge to peel back the edge of the blinds to peer out—just to check—and I reached over and flicked off the lamp on the nightstand. I slipped under the plush covers and relaxed into the comfort of the mattress.

I thought I must have already been drifting to sleep when my eyes popped back open, the sound of my phone vibrating on the wood pulling me from the promise of blissful sleep.

Groaning, I reached out and grabbed it, and I squinted through the darkness at the message.

CC

You didn't even text to say goodnight. And here I thought we were friends.

My heart rate accelerated. A brimming of excitement and that clawing uncertainty that skimmed beneath the surface of my skin. A heatwave of warning.

The attraction that had never been extinguished through the years and the betrayal that gnashed at my insides for even giving it consideration.

I needed to put a barrier between us. Build a fifteen-foot wall.

The endeavor seemed doomed since he was in my face all the time.

Brow pinched, I tapped out a response, making sure to imbue all the accusation into it that I could muster.

Me

Are you watching my window?

His response neared instant.

CC

Tell me you weren't watching mine.

Me

I have absolutely no reason to be watching your window, Mr. Cooper.

I fired it back just as fast, my breaths coming a little too shallow.

CC

Such a sweet little liar. And I thought we established it was Cody? Cody, baby. Let me hear you say it.

How easily he tossed out the tease and the taunt. It wound around me in a knitting of greed. Another text came in right behind it.

CC

I've never been so good at hiding what I want, so yeah, Shortcake, I was watching your window, wondering when I was going to catch you sneaking a peek at me again.

The air fled from my lungs, the oxygen growing too thin. How many times had he caught me peering out the window toward his in the last two weeks?

The stupid impulse to seek him out coming back to bite me in the ass.

It suddenly felt as if the temperature had risen by fifty degrees. My skin grew sticky with sweat.

Feeling suffocated by it, I threw off the covers and sat up on the side of my bed.

The draw I felt toward him was mad.

He was arrogant and brash and every-single-thing that I didn't need in my life right then. My life was incredibly complicated, and it would be insane to toss another wrench into it.

More than that, it was our history that branded him as off-limits.

None of that seemed to make a difference, though, since desire was pounding through my bloodstream like the warning blare of a freight train.

Me

I can't help it if our windows face each other and I need to pull back the drape to make sure the window is locked. It doesn't mean I was looking at you.

CC

Is that right?

Me

That's right.

Lies.

So many lies.

CC

You think I don't feel those eyes on me? You think I don't know what you're imagining? You think I don't know what you need? I've been trying to ignore it for the last week. Can't do it any longer.

My teeth grated.

Cocky. Freaking. Cowboy.

But there went that desire.

Sailing.

Surging.

Making me stupid as my fingers flew across the screen.

Me

And what exactly is it I need?

I was asking for it. Just asking for it. A slew of messages came through, one right after the other.

CC

What you need is someone to show you how gorgeous you are, inside and out.

CC

What you need is someone strong enough to hold you up so you can let go for a little while.

CC

What you need is someone who knows how to bring you the kind of pleasure you've been aching for.

CC

I can feel it radiating off you. How bad you need it.

CC

An escape.

CC

I'd fuck you so good, Shortcake.

A wildfire raced across my flesh, and I couldn't breathe by the time I'd made it through them. My stomach coiled with the exact kind of ache he was describing, my thighs tingling and my core throbbing.

I couldn't formulate a response. Didn't know how to answer when every single one of the thousand words that spun through my head conflicted.

God.

I couldn't breathe.

Could barely even read when the next text came through.

CC

You want to see how bad I need you, too?

No.

I absolutely did not.

Me

Yes.

The response was out before I could stop myself.

A glutton on my knees.

I feasted on the picture that popped into the thread.

The image was shadowy. Grainy in the bare light that seeped in from the side. But it was bright enough that I could tell the man was laid out on a bed, wearing only a pair of tight black briefs.

Sculpted body and bulky, defined muscle.

Every inch of the man was chiseled and packed and rippling with the kind of strength that should be impossible. Ridges and caverns and grooves.

His flesh was littered in ink, though the designs were obscured in the duskiness, shrouded where he held the phone high.

But honestly, I couldn't focus on anything else, anyway.

My mind had glazed over at the sight of his cock pressed against the thin fabric of his underwear. The outline was perfectly defined and angled off to the side, his massive length stone, the bulging head barely contained by the waistband.

One second later, words followed it.

CC

That's how damned hard I am for you. What is it about you, Shortcake? What is it that's sitting in my memory like a shadow? Something haunting me?

It was Brooke.

It was Brooke.

The thought of her sent reality crashing back into the forefront.

This was wrong.

So wrong.

Frantically, I pounded at my phone to get out of the text app, hands shaking out of control, then I took it a step farther and held the button down to fully shut down my phone.

I couldn't be trusted with it.

Couldn't be trusted with whatever this was.

Because this?

It was dangerous.

Dangerous to my resolve.

Dangerous to my purpose.

Dangerous to who I was and who I wanted to be.

Dangerous to her memory.

And disregarding that memory?

It would destroy me.

And that meant I needed to stay as far away from Cody Cooper as possible.