Chapter 23

TWENTY-THREE

INDI

"Indi, who do you think the winner is?" Josiah stood next to me dressed in a black onesie with a neon-pink skeleton painted on the front of it.

I looked him up and down. "Well, it's definitely not you."

We were back at the fall festival and gathered where the benches had been set up for the bonfire. Only this time the fire was gone. Everyone was in their costumes and standing in a perfect line waiting for me to decide which one was the best. I bit my bottom lip and walked back and forth, drawing out the judgment a bit longer just for fun. I stopped in front of Reese and Holden. Holden was dressed as a pinata, and Reese was a bat. She grinned and threw her body into Holden's. He reached into a pocket and threw candy onto the ground.

I giggled. "Yeah. I don't think we can beat this." I handed them the trophy, and everyone erupted into cheers.

"I feel like as the fake boyfriend I should've won that contest." Daniel gave me that easy smile as he walked up to me.

This time I did genuinely smile. "What are you even supposed to be?"

He did a little spin. "I'm an undercover cop."

"So, jeans, a sweater, and jacket are your costume . . . How very creative." I shook my head. "I'm sticking with my choice."

The Queen strolled up to us with one of her babies on her hip. "I know you two said you were fake-dating, but are you sure? You are awfully cute together."

"We're sure," Daniel and I said at the same time.

She shrugged. "You can't blame me for trying."

"Yes, they can," Josiah teased his mother. "This whole match-making thing is not cute."

"Oh, I beg to differ." She leaned in closer to him. "Don't think you're off my radar either. I'm determined to find you the perfect partner."

"Nope. I'm out." His eyes widened and he darted away from us.

The Queen called out after him, "Josiah Vauntero, this discussion is not over."She turned back to us. "Excuse me."

The Queen hurried after her son, leaving Daniel and me alone. He pressed his lips together and looked down at me like he was studying me with those vivid green eyes. "How are you holding up?"

I sighed. "I honestly don't know."

"Look, it's not my place, but are you sure you don't want to just think about this thing with Will?" He ran his hand over the back of his neck. "You two have . . . something. And it's killing you."

"I know. It's just . . ."

"Just what?"

"I don't know." I shook my head and suddenly there were too many people, the festival was too loud, everything was just too much. "Maybe you're right, I do need a minute to think."

"Then don't let me stop you." He winked, then backed away from me.

I turned and started walking down Main Street. I pulled my phone from my pocket and opened the message thread with Liam. ‘Hey, I know I've been kind of MIA this week, but I could really use a friend right now. Are you around?'

‘For you, always. What's up?'

I didn't know how to explain to Liam what had transpired over the last few days. How I was starting to question everything about me and Will now. Before, he was too young. He wasn't anymore. He'd been aimless, looking for himself and what he wanted to be in life. Now, he was well established. I was so busy raising Torren and now she had someone who took care of her way better than I ever could. I'd spent days reinforcing the belief that the reasons we didn't work before still held true now. But now I was not so sure.

‘Lol life with family and drama. You know how it goes.'

His response was immediate. ‘I really honestly do.'

I glanced up just as Jimbo and Sal sprinted toward the wedding-dress shop holding a battering ram. Sal wore a Viking helmet and a shining silver breastplate. Jimbo was right behind him wearing a Roman soldier's helmet with a bright-red mohawk down the center of it and a matching bright-red cape.

Sally, the shop owner, peeked her head out of the second-story window right above her front door. "Bring it on, you old coots!"

They rammed into the door, but it was as if they hit an invisible barrier. Sally stuck her arm out the window and dumped a gooey blue fluid on their heads. The liquid ran down their bodies and spread over their limbs. It suddenly puffed out and they were surrounded in the goo. They looked like two giant blueberries with heads.

Sal rolled backwards and looked up at her. "Marvelous."

I stopped next to Jimbo and reached up to take my antler headband off. I'd been dressed as a deer while judging the costume contest. But I didn't need the antlers anymore and Jimbo definitely did. I placed them on his head, and he grinned.

Sally slammed the window closed, leaving them trapped out there. I couldn't blame her, but I stepped around them and kept on going. There was no way I was going to be involved in that when I had so many of my own problems to solve. I went back to my messages when an email popped up from the travel group that Liam and I both belonged to. It was a reminder that the mixer was tonight, part of me wanted to flee, the other part of me wanted to prove that I could stay longer than a few weeks in one place. To prove it to myself and to Torren.

‘I guess I just needed a distraction for a moment. You know, forget what's going on here.'

Forget that I might be royally screwing up with Will. The truth was that he was perfect in so many ways for me that it was almost staggering.

Liam sent a quick message. ‘You sound stressed. Like there's a disturbance in the force.'

‘You know me well.' I used to think that no one knew me the way that Liam did but perhaps Will knew me better. Thinking about how we used to be, he would anticipate my needs without me having to say anything.

‘Feeling the need to leave?'

I didn't know what it said about me that my best friend knew that when I felt this much stress my go-to reaction was to leave. I didn't want it to be. It only made me think harder about how I reacted to Will. Is he right? Am I just scared?

‘ Don't flee, Andi. You'll hate yourself for it.'

‘I'm not fleeing. I can't do that to my sister. And I kind of want to try to stay in one place for a bit longer.'

I was surprised by the truth of my words. I didn't want to leave. I needed to stay here and see this thing out. I couldn't just leave things this way with Will. It didn't feel right anymore.But I also didn't want to leave Torren.

‘Then maybe just a quick break.'

Now that was a suggestion I could get behind. I wasn't going to leave, but if I just got some alone time for a moment, I could finally wrap my mind and heart around all this stuff. At one time Will held my heart, and for ten years after him, I hadn't tried to give it to anyone else. Perhaps the problem was that he still held it, and all I was doing was fighting a losing battle to get it back.

‘You know, that's a brilliant idea.'

‘lol I have them often.'

I slid my phone into my back pocket and leapt into the air. The shift came over me quickly. One moment I was myself, and the next I was in my pink parrot form and soaring high above the Island and heading toward the train station that would take me to New York City. One night away would do me some good, and I knew exactly how I was going to spend it.