10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Laney

T he look in his eyes was irresistible. Not in a sexual way. It pulled at my heartstrings. I never took Caleb Harris as a man with a heart, but I’ve been corrected. And as I sit on my private jet, waiting for us to take off, taking me back to my homeland, to tend to this young girl and her wee bairn, I can’t help but feel those warm and fuzzies inside. It’s not often that I feel that, but when I do, it’s quite something. Caleb sent me the information about where Gretchen and Peg live, and we went to the bank, so he could take the funds out. It’s a tidy sum, and I’ll add to it, as my heart craves me to.

And as I meet the little bairn, I get why Caleb fell in love with her. Peg is sitting on the porch, playing with a little toy pup as I arrive. Gretchen sits next to her, with a smile on her face, so warm and bright, it’s contagious.

“You must be Laney.” Gretchen says, rising. “I’m Gretchen, and this is Peg.”

I shake Gretchen’s hand and Peg sticks out her hand for me to shake, ever so polite. The bairn is so sweet it’s like looking at an oil painting of the most perfect child in the world. “Nice to meet you, miss Laney.” She says, in the cutest little bairn voice. “Do you like to play puppies?”

“I’d love to play puppies, but I need to talk to your mama just for one second, okay?”

She nods emphatically, unscathed. Hell, when I was growing up, kids would scream if they were told no for anything. That’s part of the reason why I hate kids and don’t want to have any.

“Come inside and I’ll make you some tea.” Gretchen says, in a welcoming voice. “I can watch her from the kitchen.” She assures.

We go inside to the quaint little cottage, and she starts making the tea. “Thank you so much for coming out here. I hope it wasn’t too much trouble.”

“No, not at all. I was coming out for business, anyway.”

“Are you partnered with Caleb?” she asks conversationally.

“You could say that, aye.” I half lie.

“Caleb has been so kind to me. I can’t thank him enough for what he’s done for me and Peg. I’ve got a lead on another job, and my water heater just broke. I’d used my savings to pay for groceries already, and I nearly scalded Peg the other night, heating up water for her bath on the stove.”

“Oh, that’s nonsense. Did you call someone to come and replace the water heater?”

“Aye, I did. He should be here soon. Caleb wants me to move from here, to buy me a house, but I just can’t accept it.”

“Well, Gretchen, if he wants to do it, you should let him. He’s happy to help you, and he has the money.”

“But I feel like a charity case. And it doesn’t set the best example for Peg.” She says kindly. For a former drug abuser, she seems very polite and polished. One would never know. We hear Peg come in, but she’s careful not to interrupt. She simply slips by, almost on tiptoe, grabs some paper and colored pencils from a drawer in the kitchen, smiles at me, gives her mama a kiss on the cheek, and leaves.

“As long as you’re being a good mama to Peg, I don’t see how it’s wrong, Gretchen. Caleb is happy to do it.”

“He is so kind.” She says again, and it’s like we’re talking about two different people. I pull the bills out of my purse, in the envelope, and hand it to her. As she reluctantly takes it from me, her chin starts to quiver. I grab her and hold her in my arms.

“Gretchen, my heart bleeds for you, love. You are so strong.” She cries softly, holding me weakly, as if not wanting to take too much, but I can feel that she needs it. This poor woman is probably so alone. “God, I wish you would come out to the states. We could do so much for you out there. Scotland is a beautiful country, but Caleb and I, most of our business is done out there.”

“I’m not sure, Laney. I’ve never been anywhere else but here. Caleb made me get my passport. Peg’s too. But I’m so scared.”

I pull back and look at her. She matches my height. Her straight dark hair is tidy and short on her shoulders, and her brown eyes are soft and warm. The tanned complexion suggests she takes Peg outdoors a lot. But then Caleb mentioned that she’s waitressing. It could be at a restaurant that has outdoor seating, too. “What are you so scared of?”

“I go to sponsor meetings. For the drugs. I’ve gotten quite close to those people. They’re my friends. I’m scared of losing touch and, well, you know.”

I nod. “I understand. Maybe later on. When you feel stronger.”

She nods. “I’ll think about it.”

I look over at Peg, who I can see through the half window in the door, and through the café-style window over the sink in the kitchen. She’s drawing something. “Did the man that attacked you ever get convicted?”

Her eyes widen. “Oh, no, ma’am. He’s dead. Long time ago. Right after it happened, he was killed. I don’t think I’ll ever know who did it, but I’m sure I wasn’t the only person he attacked.”

My hand goes to my heart. “Good God, Gretchen.”

She shakes her head feverishly. “Oh, no, I’m not sorry he’s dead. He was vicious. He nearly killed me that night. I was lucky to have carried the bairn to term. She was a miracle baby.” Gretchen looks over at her. “If it weren’t for her, I’d be dead, too. I cleaned up when I found out about her. I never knew I wanted a bairn until I found out I was pregnant. My mama thought I was crazy, to have the bairn of a rapist, but, I don’t know, something inside me said that she’s an angel, not a devil. And you can see so for yourself, that it’s true.”

“There is no doubt. She is so beautiful.” I look over her way.

Gretchen smiles. “She is. I am so blessed to have her.” Then her face sobers. “I just…I don’t know what to tell her…you know…when she’s old enough to ask. I’ve told her that her daddy’s gone. That he’s in heaven, but I don’t dare tell her how she came to the world.”

“Gretchen, you don’t ever have to tell her that, if you don’t want to.”

“But if she asks…you know…what was he like. I have no idea what to tell her. It keeps me up at night sometimes, wondering, you know, what the right thing to do is.”

“I don’t think you need to worry about that right now, Gretchen. She’s much too young.”

“It’s even harder, you know, that she doesn’t understand about me.”

I’m careful with my words. “About you being gay?”

She nods. “Aye. You have no idea how difficult it is to raise a child like this. Alone. I thank God every day that I love her as much as I do, Laney. Because if I didn’t, I truly don’t know how I would be hanging on.”

Peg comes back into the house, carrying a drawing in her hand, pulling the ball of emotion out of my throat as she smiles at me. “Here, miss Laney. I made this for you.”

It’s a beautiful rendition of her version of my name, spelled ‘lainee’, in colorful little bubble letters. For a three-year-old, she seems to know enough letters, surprising me. “Gosh, you are so smart, Peg! I can’t believe you know all those letters!”

“Mama taught me them.” She smiles. “She taught me all of them, so when I start school soon, I’ll be the smartest kid in the class.”

“Oh, I have no doubt, you will be.” I wrap my arms around her and give her a big hug. Her little body cradles around me like we’re some sort of kindred spirits.

“Oh, gosh, I didn’t even get you your tea.” Gretchen says, chiding herself.

“It’s no bother.” I chuckle.

“Can we bake some cookies, mama?” Peg asks. “So you can give miss Laney tea and cookies?”

“Well, I don’t know how long she can stay, Peg. You better ask first.”

I smile. “I can stay.”

Her little face lights up like a Christmas tree. As we bake the cookies together, my phone rings with a FaceTime call, and it’s Caleb. “Oh, shoot. My hands are all covered in batter.” I chuckle, wiping them off. As I answer, Caleb’s face is as bright as Peg’s.

“Hi, love. Gosh, you’ve grown.” Caleb says to Peg.

“Hi, Caleb!” She waves. “When are you going to come see me? Those flowers we planted are all grown up now!”

He chuckles. “Soon, sweetheart. I’m really busy over here in the states right now, but I promise you, the minute I can come visit, I will, okay?”

“Okay.” She says, in the cutest little singsong voice.

“How are you doing, Gretchen? Did you get that water heater fixed?”

“He should be here soon, actually. Thank you so much for your help. I’m so scared of scalding Peg again.”

“Don’t mention it.” He waves. “As soon as I can come, I’ll bring you some more money, until you get back on your feet.”

“I didn’t expect the layoff, you understand.” Gretchen explains. “The restaurant hasn’t been pulling in as much business since that other restaurant opened up the street. I’d been putting away money and all, but I spent it on groceries.”

“That’s okay, Gretchen. I know that you’re trying your best.”

I pull up the picture that Peg made for me. He looks at it and addresses Peg playfully. “Excuse me, lass, but where’s mine?”

She giggles. “After I make cookies, I’ll make you one.”

“I’ll be calling again later to make sure.” He says, again playfully. “And what’s this I hear about cookies? Do I get any?”

“Fly on over here and we’ll give you some.” I tell him, taunting him, good-naturedly.

“I would if I could.” He says. “But soon.” I’m not sure what story he told her, about why he couldn’t come himself to give her the money, so I don’t press. “Keep in touch.” He says. “Hugs for Peg.”

“Hugs for Caleb.” Peg says, as if by rote. It’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. He hangs up and Peg helps her mama put the cookies into the oven, and she goes back outside to draw Caleb a picture.

“He’s been coming around since just after she was born.” Gretchen volunteers. “Wonderful with her. My mama thought for a while that he was her father. I never told her the truth, of course, it would break her heart.”

“So, she thinks that Caleb is her father? You never told her?”

“No.” She shakes her head, ashamed. “She doesn’t even know that I’m gay. It was enough that she knew that I was into the drugs. I can’t break her heart.”

“I understand.” I nod, rubbing her back.

As I leave the house, after staying for the water heater repairman, and for cookies and dinner, I can’t help but feel very different about certain things. After today, I have a different perspective, and as much as it’s painful to learn about the troubles that some people are going through in their lives, it’s also beautiful to see.

The plane ride back to the states, after a week in Scotland, is odd. I feel torn between staying, so I can stay close to Gretchen, Peg, and to da, but I also feel myself gravitating back to Caleb. We’ve spoken briefly while I’ve been here, but he’s also been with someone, so it’s been a distant conversation. Sadly, I end up pulling a late night for work, from my home office, and with jetlag and pure exhaustion, I don’t have the energy to call Gretchen or Caleb. I wake up to a beep from my security system, alerting me that someone is here. When I look on my phone, I see that it’s a floral delivery van, and I raise a brow. Nobody ever sends me flowers, so my back is immediately up. I’ve heard of things like this, where thugs gain access by masquerading as good people.

“Who are the flowers from?” I ask, before even thinking about letting him in.

“Caleb Harris, ma’am. Shall I leave them by the gate?”

“No, that’s fine. You can bring them in.” I say, feeling the smile on my face.

The card says, ‘a million thank yous, Caleb’. They’re stunning. I’m not a fan of flowers, but these are an exception. I tip the man and send Caleb a text. “A million you’re welcomes.”

He calls. “You got them.”

“Yes. They’re gorgeous. And completely unnecessary.”

“No good deed should go unnoticed. Are you staying home?”

“Yes.”

“Are you up for company?”

I frown. “Sure.” Brandy is gone on an impromptu vacation to Aruba with her cousin Laurie. They left the day after she got over the stomach flu and hasn’t been back since. It was one of those last-minute deals and Laurie wouldn’t take no for an answer. I still haven’t told her about me and Caleb sleeping together again. In fact, I haven’t told her about Gretchen or Peg yet, either.

“Be there shortly.”

He’s never been to my house, but I don’t pretend that he needs the address. Ten minutes later, he’s here, and I let him inside. It’s weird, but I feel like I missed him. Like I’m happy to see him. And he looks like he missed me, too. In fact, he approaches and gives me a hug, and he tells me that he missed me.

I smile. “I was just thinking the same thing.”

“Damn, I wish I could have come with you back to Scotland. I miss Peg. I love that bairn.”

“I can see why. She’s great.”

He just smiles as I close the door behind him. He sees the flowers on the kitchen table. “Exactly as I ordered them. Good.”

“You mean you didn’t just pass the request on to your assistant?”

He shakes his head. “No, ma’am. I don’t let her do anything that needs a personal touch. I went down to the florist myself and the old, arthritic woman helped me put together this arrangement herself. I even wrote the damn card myself.”

I’m impressed. “Really.”

“Of course. That’s like having someone else choose a Christmas present. I’d never do that.”

I decide it’s time to change the subject. “Any advancements in the case?”

“No, not yet. It’s basically been radio silence since you’ve been away.”

“Any word from Chas or Beckett Ford?”

“I spoke to Beckett on the phone on a small financial matter, but otherwise radio silence there, too.”

“How’s your da? He giving you a break on marrying me?” I add, acting like it’s a running joke between us.

“Ah, he tore a strip out of me the other day, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“What did you say?”

“I just told him that I’m working on you. Told him I’m sending you flowers.” He winks.

I snort a laugh. “Cute.”

He takes my hand and brings me to him. He holds me tight and kisses the top of my head. “All is well with Gretchen?”

“I’m worried about her, Caleb. I don’t know her from Adam, but that woman has a lot on her shoulders.”

He buries his head into my neck, thinking about what I’ve said. “I want to bring her to the states, where I can look after her better, but she won’t come.”

“It’s because of her sponsors, Caleb. She leaves Scotland, she leaves them, too.”

“I know. She’s told me as much. But I can’t do much more for her from here. Not without my family finding out.”

“They’ll find out more if you bring her to the states, Caleb.”

He sighs, still holding me close. “I thought of that, too, lass.”

“What about telling them about her? What if you said that Peg is yours? Do you think that would make a difference?”

He chuckles mirthlessly. “Da would see right through that. He’d demand a paternity test and then he’d crucify me for lying.”

“Jesus Christ, Caleb. He wouldn’t take your word for it?”

“One thing you don’t know about my da, Laney. He’s no fool. He knows about things before they happen. He’s not going to take this lightly.”

“It’s not like she’s vying to take your fortune, Caleb. I don’t see why your da would react so badly.”

“I told you, Laney. My da would see this as a betrayal. He does not like charity. He finds out I’ve been funding a former drug addict’s bills and supporting her daughter, he’ll forbid me to continue. He may even disown me. It’s not worth the risk, Laney. If I want to keep helping her I’ve got to do it in secret, just as I have been.”

“But if your da is so ahead of everything, how do you know that he isn’t already aware?”

He lifts his head. “You’ve seen my cock yourself, Laney. It’s still intact. I can guarantee he doesn’t know about her.” His face is set. He’s serious.

“But the bairn?” I ask softly. “He wouldn’t care about that?”

“Not unless she’s our kin, no.”

He searches my eyes, combing his fingers through my hair. I can’t bear to see that look of despair in his eyes.

“What if I bring her, Caleb? What if I take care of her? She took very well to me. Both of them did.”

He rubs his nose on mine. He’s so tender I could melt in his arms. It feels so nice. So comforting. So fulfilling. His hold on me is perfect. “My family would accept that I’m helping another. I could get her a place and make sure that Peg has a good school to go to next year.”

“I…I can’t ask you to do that, Laney. Those girls have been my responsibility for the last three and a half years. They’re a part of me now. While I appreciate what you’re offering, I want to help them, and I don’t want to burden you with that.”

“We could do it together, Caleb. That way you can still be a part of this. And until this murder case goes down, you’ve got enough to sort out. Plus, if immigration finds out that she’s in the care of someone being questioned in a murder investigation, I’m not sure how that would go down. I’d hate for anything to happen to them.”

He swallows. He searches my eyes, but there is the ghost of a smile on his face. “I think I’m going to need much nicer flowers.”