Chapter 3

Jensen

The Phantoms left to go on a ten-day road trip the following week. We’d be playing Nashville, Knoxville, Raleigh, Chicago, and St. Louis, which meant I’d see my brother Leif in Knoxville. Playing against my brothers was always a blast, though not as much right now, since we couldn’t seem to win if our lives depended on it, and they gave me endless shit about it. It was usually all in fun, but I wondered if they understood how frustrating it was to play on the worst team in the league two years in a row.

I wasn’t thinking about that on the flight, though.

Empress was on my mind more than usual lately. It still bothered me that her ex had hit her. I was glad she’d dumped him, but I couldn’t help but feel there was more to the story than she’d told me. And for some reason, I was worried. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but my gut told me she wasn’t okay. There was something skittish about her, and the way she’d thanked me for what I’d said at the end of our conversation made me wonder what other bad things had happened in her life.

Part of me itched to reach out to Manny and ask him if she was okay, but if they were as close as she made them out to be, he wouldn’t trust me with anything personal. And I didn’t blame him. Unfortunately, that left me with no recourse short of convincing Empress to meet in person.

And no one had to tell me that was crazy.

I dated enough to know it was hard to find women I could relate to, so hooking up with the random online gamer I’d met had disaster written all over it.

Leif found that particularly hilarious when I told him about it after the game against the Thunderbolts. We went to a bar to grab a drink and something to eat, which was our thing whenever we played each other, and he shook his head as we talked.

“Dude, you know she could be a fifty-year-old dude living in his mom’s basement, right?”

I laughed. “I’ve talked to her via voice chat, so if she’s catfishing me, she’s been at it almost since day one. And why? There’s no chance she knows who I am. For all she knows, I’m the unemployed fifty-year-old dude smoking pot in his mom’s basement.”

“True, but…” He scratched his chin, pausing to take a pull from his bottle of beer. “There are a million attractive, single ladies in L.A. Why are you interested in the one who potentially isn’t real?”

“She is real,” I protested. “Maybe she’s not what she says she is, or who I’m imagining her to be, but at the end of the day we are friends and I’m worried about her. That’s all.”

“Don’t pretend you don’t like her.”

“Of course I do. She’s interesting to talk to. She’s either well-educated or at the very least well-read. And we seem to have common interests. That’s the definition of friendship, so yeah, why wouldn’t I like a smart woman who also enjoys gaming?”

“And god knows, Mr. I-would’ve-been-an-astrophysicist-if-the-hockey-thing-hadn’t-worked-out needs a woman with a brain.”

I shrugged. “What’s wrong with wanting a woman you can talk to?”

“Nothing. But this doesn’t seem to be the way to do it.”

“Lots of guys use dating apps to meet women. How is this different?”

“I don’t know. You just might be setting yourself up for trouble. There are too many unknowns in this scenario.”

“You worry too much, little brother.” Leif was two years younger than me.

He chuckled. “Probably. But I have no issues meeting women in person. Maybe you should try that and forget about Empress.”

“Oh, shut up.” I decided to change the subject. “Jake seems to think Mom is coming to me next, now that she somehow got him and King to settle down.”

Leif groaned. “You think? God, I love her, but she’s got to find a hobby that doesn’t include coming to see us kids. She’s been nothing but a whirlwind of travel and cooking and surprise visits since Diane died.”

Diane had been our mother’s closest friend, an unofficial aunt to us growing up, and we all missed her. Mom seemed to be struggling with it, though, and none of us knew how to help. So, we put up with surprise visits and care packages and all the other little things she’d been doing to keep her mind off of her loss.

Matchmaking was something else, though.

The last thing I needed was my mother trying to find someone for me to fall in love with.

I wanted to settle down eventually, but not until I found the right woman.

And our mother’s loneliness wasn’t going to make that happen any faster.

“Tell me about it,” I said aloud. “I wish Dad wasn’t so busy. Then she could bug him.”

We both chuckled since we knew our parents had a sweet, loving relationship and they did things together all the time. Dad coached a college hockey team, so he was busy this time of year, but things would slow down for him come April.

“If we can hang on until April, we should be okay,” Leif said, mirroring my thoughts. “Aren’t they going on vacation?”

“Let’s hope!” I lifted my beer bottle and clinked it against his. “Here’s to the single life.”

He chuckled. “Single, taken, doesn’t matter to me as long as Mom isn’t the one orchestrating it.”

“Amen to that.”

My mother arrived in L.A. while I was away, and I had a feeling that was done by design. She had a key, so she’d let herself in and texted me to let me know she was there, saying she’d mixed up the dates on how long I’d be gone.

Yeah, right.

It made me chuckle because she was way smarter and savvier than this.

She was definitely up to something, and I was about to find out what.

“Mom?” I walked into the house and the smell of something delicious hit my nostrils.

Chicken and dumplings.

It was my favorite and she always made it when we were together.

“Hi, honey.” She came out of the kitchen wiping her hands with a dish towel.

I reached out to hug her, glad to see her despite how sneaky she’d been in showing up.

“Hey, Ma. I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. That’s why I came.”

I looked down. “Uh huh. Don’t try to bullshit a bullshitter. You had good luck doing whatever Cupid nonsense you did with King and Jakob, so now it’s my turn.”

Instead of being upset or embarrassed, she threw back her head and laughed. “I guess you got me. But the flip side of that is you get chicken and dumplings. And whatever other meals you want while I’m here.”

“How long are you staying?”

She shrugged, her eyes twinkling. “Until you can’t stand having me here anymore or your dad runs out of freezer meals.”

“Fair enough. Let me go change and I’ll be right out.”

“Dinner’s ready so I’ll set the table.”

“Thanks, Mom.” I leaned over to kiss the top of her head before heading into my bedroom to change.

I took off my suit, happy to pull on sweats and a T-shirt.

It had been another grueling trip, with only one win in five games. Better than zero wins, but how sad was it that things had come to this? My teammates were on edge, Coach lost his mind after every loss, and the press was having a field day with the worst team in the league continuing their string of bad luck.

The only good thing about the trip was that I’d seen my brother. Beyond that, I’d been anxious to get home and do some crusading with Empress and the others. Of course, now I had my mother underfoot, and my stomach rumbled from how good the food smelled, so gaming would have to wait.

Mom had set up bowls and silverware on the island in my kitchen, and I pulled a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Did you go to the grocery store?” I asked her after looking inside the refrigerator.

She grinned. “I ordered online, and it was delivered about an hour after I arrived.

I laughed. “You could have told me instead of arriving unannounced.”

“What fun would that be?” she asked, sinking onto a bar stool beside me. “So, catch me up. What’s going on in your life?”

“Nothing exciting,” I admitted. “And no, I’m not dating anyone.”

“You’re good-looking, rich, and a really good human being.” She eyed me. “What’s the problem?”

“Puck bunnies? Girls who aren’t interested in anything but my paycheck? I need substance, Mom. And if you say you have someone in mind, I’m taking you back to the airport right now.”

She shook her head. “I don’t. That’s not why I’m here, Jensen. You should know me better than that.”

“I know you’ve been sad and lonely since you lost Diane,” I said quietly. “And I also know you dream of a houseful of grandchildren at the holidays.”

She smiled. “I do dream of that. But I have two lovely grandchildren now, and I’m sure there will be more. What I want is for you to be happy. And you, of all my children, seem to be way off course for that right now. The Phantoms don’t appear to be good for you.”

“Yes and no. I love my life here. The shit going on with the team isn’t great, but it’s still better than not playing hockey.”

“But are you fulfilled?”

I opened my mouth and then closed it again.

Were happy and fulfilled the same thing? Was I merely content and deluding myself by not taking the time to think about it?

It was a complicated question without a clearcut answer.

“You know, generally speaking, I am. I have a great life. I play the best sport in the world and make millions of dollars a year doing it. I have a fantastic family that I talk to almost every day, a house I love, and I live in a fantastic city with the best of everything. I honestly shouldn’t complain. And yet, losing every time we play sucks. It weighs on me, making me question all my choices.”

“Interesting you don’t mention your personal life in any of that.”

“Mom, you know how I feel about that. I’m open to a relationship. It just has to be the right one. The right woman.” I paused, wondering if I should tell her about Empress.

“What?” she asked when I hesitated too long. “What are you trying to decide whether or not to tell me about?”

I chuckled.

My mom didn’t miss anything.

“There’s someone?—”

“There is?!” Her eyes lit up and I rolled mine in response.

“Relax, it’s not what you think. It’s…” How could I explain this without sounding like an idiot? “I met her online. We game together.”

She frowned. “What does that mean? Have you met or is this someone you don’t know beyond the gaming world?”

“Yeah. That.” I took a bite of chicken and dumplings and chewed slowly, allowing myself time to gather my thoughts. “I know it sounds ridiculous. But we gel on so many levels. And something deep down tells me there’s more to her than she lets on. It’s hard to explain.

“I won’t insult your intelligence by pointing out all the obvious issues,” she said after a moment.

“Leif has already done that,” I said dryly.

“Well, the way I see it, you need to shit or get off the pot. If you’re not moving toward meeting in person, seeing if there’s anything to see, what’s the point? Either you take things to the next level, or you move on and forget about her.”

I didn’t like the latter suggestion at all, but I wasn’t ready to take things to the next level with Empress either.

I didn’t know what the hell I wanted.

It was probably time to figure it out.