Chapter 1

Jensen

Present Day

Another day, another loss.

What else was new?

What was this? Four in a row? Five?

I’d lost count at this point.

Being a professional athlete sounded like a dream-come-true on paper, but in reality? It was grueling. Hard. Frustrating. Downright infuriating sometimes.

There were good days, but not a lot of them right now.

I’d been drafted at eighteen but deferred joining the big leagues until after college.

Thank fuck my parents had pushed me to do that.

At least I had a degree to fall back on.

Things had gotten so bad I’d begun wondering if I could put my degree in computer science to better use.

Playing hockey for the L.A. Phantoms just wasn’t fun anymore.

“You want to go get a drink?” My friend and teammate, Marty Nadeau, asked me. “Brenna and the kids are in Tennessee visiting her parents, so I have a little freedom.”

“Thanks, but I can’t.” I shook my head. “I’m beat and we have to be back at the arena early.”

He nodded. “Yeah, probably not a good idea anyway. Although, I figure we can’t play much worse if we come in hungover.”

“Tell me about it.” I lifted my chin in acknowledgement as I headed for my SUV, parked in the private lot at the arena.

I opened my windows as I drove, letting the cool air whip around me.

One of my favorite songs came on the hard rock station of the satellite radio service I used, and I turned it up. Singing along with a band called Onyx Knight about their “Wicked X” always put me in a better mood.

Hopefully, I’d get home in time to join the raid my gaming friends had planned. I’d told them they might have to do it without me since I’d had a game tonight and there was no way to know how late I’d be, but they’d promised to wait. It wasn’t quite ten o’clock since the game had started at five thirty Pacific time, and it wasn’t like we’d even played well enough to make it to overtime.

A 6-0 blowout loss meant we’d all headed home early.

I let myself into my small but comfortable house nestled in the hills of Laurel Canyon and locked the door behind me. I loved living here. It was a bit of a drive to the arena, but it afforded me comfort, privacy, and a great view. It was around two thousand square feet, with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, but it had an outdoor fireplace and a pool, which made up for the lack of indoor space.

Hell, I didn’t need any more space since I was perpetually single.

If I ever met the right woman and settled down, we might have to think about upgrading, but for now this was perfect.

One bedroom was mine, of course, the second was a guest room since I had a big family who often came to visit, and the last had been turned into my gaming haven.

I was a lifelong gamer, which was why it had been a no-brainer to major in computers in college, and I spent most of my free time indulging in my passion. I’d even started dabbling in creating a game of my own, but I didn’t have much time to put into the creation.

But after a night like I’d had with the team tonight, all I wanted to do was put on a pair of sweats and hit up the chat room with my gaming friends.

@PhantomKnight: I’m here! Everyone ready?

@ThunderboltKnight: About fucking time.

My brother, Leif, was also a gamer and we played this particular role-playing game together. I’d taken on the moniker Phantom Knight since my character in the game was a knight and I played for the Phantoms. A little inside joke. Leif also played a knight in the game, and he played professional hockey for the Tennessee Thunderbolts. We thought we were clever.

Realm Crusaders was relatively new. It had only been around for about eighteen months and a group of us had jumped on it early in its inception, before it took off. Leif and I had joined a random group who’d wanted to play it, and then we’d added @EmpressB, @MacysMinion, @CrusadingAHole, and @MannyMannyProblems.

Together, we worked on different raids and quests to win back the fictional kingdom that had been taken over by phantoms, ghosts, and the undead. We couldn’t always get together at the same time since it appeared that three of us were on the West Coast, Leif and MacysMinion were in the Central time zone, and CrusadingAHole was on the east coast, but we tried.

CrusadingAHole was actually another pro hockey player, a guy named Jordan Palmer, who played for the Lauderdale Knights, but he kept his identity hidden as well. There were a couple of other people who occasionally joined us, but they were both in Europe, so the timing didn’t often work out.

@Empress: Okay, everyone, tonight we’re trying to take back the well on the north part of the kingdom. That way we can feed and water our horses more easily.

@Thunderbolt: I only have two hours, gang. I can’t be late to work again.

We were careful to be evasive about our real names or jobs. Being professional athletes was tricky because we weren’t big celebrities, but we were well-known enough to make people behave badly sometimes. In my experience, most people were cool, but there was always someone with an ulterior motive and I didn’t need that kind of crazy in my life.

@Empress: Everyone on board to win back the well?

@Phantom: Let’s do it! I had a shit day, so I’m ready to kick some undead ass!

@MacysMinion: I’m in college—every day is a bad day.

@CrusadingAHole: Just wait—real life is right around the corner and you’ll give your left nut to go back to college.

@MacysMinion: My nuts are metaphorical since I’m female, but let me enjoy being a cranky college student, dammit.

@MannyMannyProblems: OK, kids, let’s focus on the mission. Us old people have to get to bed eventually.

@Empress: Remember, up until midnight east coast time, there’s bonus entries into winning the Crusaders’ Sword, so let’s collect as many as possible. No matter which one of us wins it, it’ll benefit us all.

The Crusaders’ Sword was a special accessory that the game gave away once a year. You had to complete certain tasks to be entered to win and they were only giving away three, out of the tens of thousands of players. Winning one would give us a distinct advantage, but I wasn’t holding out hope for that. It was this video game’s equivalent of winning the lottery.

Tonight, the plan had been to play for two hours but we wound up playing for three, and I felt bad for Leif since I knew he had an early practice. Luckily, we won back our well before he and Jordan dropped off. Macy and Manny were next and then it was just Empress and me left in the chat room.

@Empress: You going to bed?

@Phantom: Eventually. I haven’t been sleeping great lately. It takes me a while to wind down.

@Empress: Still the same stuff going on at work?

I’d mentioned that my job had been difficult lately.

@Phantom: Yeah. It’s not getting any better.

@Empress: Have you considered looking for something else?

I’d considered asking for a trade, but my life here was comfortable and I made a lot of money. Not to mention, the weather was great, my house was perfect, and I’d gotten used to not having to deal with shoveling snow. I’d grown up in Minnesota, so that was a big thing for me. I’d be happy to get traded to either of the Florida teams, but there were no offers on the table, and I didn’t want to uproot my life to go somewhere up north. I would if I had to, of course, that was part of being a pro athlete, but I wasn’t ready to give up my current life and potentially be traded somewhere I didn’t want to go.

@Phantom: I really don’t want to move but if things keep going like this, I’ll have to consider it.

@Empress: Nothing local in your field?

@Phantom: It’s complicated.

The great thing about Empress was that she was just as secretive about the details of her life as I was about mine, so she didn’t pry, and I didn’t have to tell too many lies. We could still have interesting conversations without concerns about our privacy, and we’d talked about that once early on in our friendship.

We’d been chatting a lot lately, and it was nice to have someone to talk to. I valued my privacy, but we’d become close over the last eight or nine months. She was one of my best friends now, and I didn’t even know if she was really a woman. She’d said something offhand about cramps once, so I believed she was, but beyond that, the only true details I knew were that she was single, in her twenties, and lived in California. I’d been trying to get more out of her, but I understood her need to be careful since I felt the same way. It just made it hard to get to know her better.

@Empress: I feel you. I’ve written a book I’m trying to sell, and I got another rejection from a publisher today.

@Phantom: You wrote a book? That’s really cool! Can I ask what it’s about?

@Empress: It’s a romance, so probably not your jam. It’s set in New York about a single mom trying to raise her daughter while working two jobs. She meets her hot new neighbor who’s all grumpy and reclusive, but he has a soft spot for her five-year-old daughter. They become friends, fall in love, all the romantic bullshit you don’t care about. Think Hallmark.

@Phantom: What makes you think I don’t care about romance?

@Empress: I shouldn’t have assumed, I guess, but most guys don’t.

@Phantom: Don’t lump us all together. I’m a nice guy! And when I’m in a relationship, I’m a great boyfriend.

@Empress: I’m beginning to think we should turn on the romance option in Crusaders.

@Phantom: I’d be down for that. I like romance.

@Empress: I don’t think I’ve ever heard those words from a guy before.

@Phantom: Well, you just did.

@Empress: You’re a sweet guy, Phantom.

@Phantom: And I don’t know if anyone’s ever said that to me except my mom.

@Empress: I bet they have.

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so I opted to change the subject. Sometimes it was hard having these conversations, because it was always on the tip of my tongue—or at least my fingertips—to ask her if she wanted to meet. Then I’d remind myself it was probably a terrible idea and move on.

@Phantom: Well, I’m impressed that you wrote a book! Even if no one buys it, that’s still quite an accomplishment. Isn’t it something like only one percent of everyone who starts writing a book ever finishes it?

@Empress: Something like that.

@Phantom: And you can self-publish it, right? I hear that’s a thing now.

@Empress: Yeah, it is. But there’s more to it than that.

@Phantom: I get it. Don’t give up, though. Stephen King wrote in his autobiography that he got a million rejections before he sold his first book. Look at him now!

@Empress: I’m trying to stay optimistic.

@Phantom: Disappointment after rejection is only human. But you can’t give up. Can I tell you a secret?

@Empress: Sure.

@Phantom: I’m designing a game.

@Empress: A video game?

@Phantom: Yup.

@Empress: Really?! That’s amazing. What’s the premise?

@Phantom: Well, it’s a little different than Crusaders. It’s more modern-day, with a focus on sports. It’s an RPG, but the characters you get to choose from are all athletes. Hockey, football, soccer, all the big ones, plus tennis and swimming. You get separated from your team, so to speak, and go on an adventure to get back to them. You can customize where you are (like Brazil, so you wind up in the Amazon, shit like that), what time of year, friends you meet on the way, etc.

@Empress: That sounds fun. You were a college athlete, right?

@Phantom: Both high school and college, so sports are a big part of my life.

Was that too close to the truth?

We talked all the time but so much of what we discussed was vague. I couldn’t help but wonder if it was time to get a little more emotionally intimate. I wanted to, but I knew how gun shy she was, so I’d have to tread carefully if I wanted to go that route.

@Empress: How far into it are you?

@Phantom: Not far enough.

@Empress: Well, if you need a beta tester, let me know. I’d totally be down.”

@Phantom: That would be great. I’ll keep you posted.

@Empress: Sure. Anyway, talk to you tomorrow?

@Phantom: I have work stuff in the morning, but I’ll be around in the afternoon.

@Empress: Talk to you then.

I got up and headed for my bedroom.

Empress and I spent a lot of time chatting and playing without the others.

She’d become important to me.

Except I didn’t even know her real name.

I really needed to get a life and spend time with flesh-and-blood women instead of online fantasy women.

If only this particular fantasy woman wasn’t so much more interesting than anyone I’d met in real life in the last year.

My phone buzzed and I looked down to see a text from my brother, Jakob, that made me groan.

JAKE: Fair warning, bro—Mom said something about a trip to L.A. Be on the lookout. She’s been a matchmaking fool the last few months. And you appear to be next on her list.

Great.

Just what I needed.

A fantasy girlfriend in one hand and a matchmaking Mom in the other.