Chapter 1

Lily

"Elise, are you even listening to me? We need to get everything finalized now."

"Sorry. I'm just a bit distracted today. Besides it's still two weeks away," my sister snapped.

Something was wrong. Elise only shut me out when she was extremely stressed out or overwhelmed, but this had been going on for a few months already and I was really worried about her. The last time she'd been this distant was because she'd met her mate Patrick O'Connell and had freaked out. She'd made things so much worse when she'd tried to run away and hide from him. Not that I was one to judge.

I grinned remembering the day I'd met my one true mate. I hadn't handled that well at all. I still struggled to drink whiskey after downing a fifth of the bottle and crawling into bed with him that same night. Not that there was much opportunity for drinking these days.

Thomas Collier was the last man on the planet I'd expected to take as a mate. As I rubbed my ever-growing belly and felt our latest addition kick inside, I couldn't help but know with all my heart that this was exactly the life I'd been meant to live, and Thomas was the best thing to ever happen to me.

I'd miscarried our first baby and with each pregnancy since, I didn't allow myself to fully relax and believe it until they laid that precious baby in my arms. With any luck, I'd experience that sensation for the fifth time in just a few more months.

It was silly really. We'd lost the baby early in the pregnancy, and I was heading into my third trimester after successfully delivering four healthy daughters. There was no logical reason for me to be worried, but I was. I always was.

"Lily? Are you still there?" Elise asked.

I'd been lost in thought and nearly forgotten she was on the phone.

"Sorry. Pregnancy brain is real. I think I just sort of mentally wandered off."

"Are you sure this is a good idea? We can just postpone the reunion until after you deliver. You shouldn't be traveling this far along in your pregnancy anyway."

"I'm fine. I'm still in the early stages of the third trimester, and Sam is coming with us to keep an eye on me. Thomas insisted, no matter how many times I try to tell him that Micah can handle it just fine."

Sam was our Pack physician after Doc officially retired. Collier Pack was lucky to have him, but while I may be Pack Mother of Collier Pack now, I was born into Westin Pack and knew Micah, their Pack physician, equally as well. I'd trust both men with my life and the life of my unborn child. But I knew despite being a big, strong Alpha, my mate worried himself to death about me and our children. He was insistent on taking every precaution possible.

I suddenly realized what we'd been talking about.

"You're trying to change the subject," I accused.

"What? No."

"Liar. We've been dancing around this for weeks, no months, and I want to know what the hell is going on with you."

It was true. Two months ago, Elise and Patrick had returned from the vacation of a lifetime in Paris. She'd been so happy and made it sound like a fairytale dream of a trip. And then a few weeks later it was like she'd changed somehow, and things had been strained between us ever since. Only I didn't understand why. I'd even called Patrick myself to find out what was wrong with my sister, but he too had seemed off, though he insisted everything was fine.

"Elise, talk to me."

"You're making something out of nothing. Just drop it already."

But I knew in my gut that wasn't true.

I couldn't read her as well over the phone, so I hung up and face-messaged her instead. She didn't answer. When it timed out, I called right back.

Finally, she accepted, greeting me with a stern look on her face.

"What took you so long?"

"Why did you hang up on me?"

"Because I need to see your face when I ask you once more what the hell is wrong with you."

She blanched, and I knew I was right. My gut instincts were rarely wrong. But the sour look on her face had me even more concerned than I had already been.

"E?"

She tossed the phone down so I was staring at the ceiling of her office, but there was no mistaking the sounds of her puking.

She finally came back to the screen wiping her mouth and looking a horrible shade of green.

"Elise, what is wrong? Do you want me to call Patrick and have him come get you? Liam's right down the hall, he can stay with you until he gets there."

"Lily Ann Westin Collier, don't you dare."

"Then talk to me."

"I'm pregnant, okay!"

My jaw hung slack as I stared back at her, trying to discern if she was messing with me or not.

"Pregnant? You?"

"I didn't stutter."

"But-but you don't even want kids. You're on the pill. How? When?"

She sighed as big tears filled her eyes.

"I forgot my pills when we were in Paris."

I considered the timeline, knowing that had to put her somewhere late in her first trimester, maybe even nearing her second. And I burst out laughing.

"It's not funny."

"It's hysterical. What did Patrick say about it?"

"I haven't told him."

"What? E, you have to be at least a few months along already. How does he not know?"

"Thirteen weeks," she said with a sigh. "At least according to Lucy. I've forbidden her to even tell Micah."

"They're mates. You can't make her keep this from him."

"Midwife patient confidentiality. I can too request it."

I shook my head. "Why haven't you told Patrick?"

"You know we love our life just as it is. You know we don't want kids. He's going to freak out."

"Elise, there was a time when Patrick practically begged you to go off the pill and see what happens. He's going to be fine with this. Happy even. I'd bet Collier Pack funds on that."

"You can't possibly know that."

"You're being ridiculous. I bet he's been worried sick about you, too."

Much to my horror, her eyes widened, and she started crying.

"Aw, sweetie. It's going to be okay. You're morning sickness should start to subside some now. Why didn't you just tell me? I kind of have a good idea about pregnancy, I could've helped even if just for moral support."

She hiccupped and pulled out a tissue to dab at her eyes.

"I don't know. I just feel so alone in this."

"Do you want this baby, Elise?"

She cried harder and nodded.

"I'm calling Patrick. You have to talk to him like right now, E. You can't do this to him and yourself."

"Do what?"

"Be so you and hold this in while locking everyone out."

I thought for sure she was going to protest, but instead she nodded.

The problem was I was already on my phone with her.

"Cammie," I yelled down the hall.

My oldest daughter quickly peeked her head into my room.

"Yes, Mama?"

"Sweetheart, can you grab your dad's phone for me real quick."

"Sure," she said, but under her breath I heard her add, "if I had my own phone, you could have just borrowed that."

I sighed. That was a battle for another day.

She returned with the phone and her father in tow.

"Slugger, what's wrong?"

I pointed to the screen just as Elise shot me a death glare.

"Oh. Uh, hi, Elise."

"Hi," she squeaked.

I took his phone and called Patrick. I was certain he'd want to know, and if he wasn't thrilled about this, I was going to fly to San Marco early and throttle him.

"Hello?"

"Patrick?"

"Aye, what's up?"

"I need you to go to Elise's office right now."

"Not here," my sister argued. "Tell him to meet me at home."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I do not want to do this here."

"Fine. Patrick meet her at the house. Just hurry."

"Lily, you're freaking me the feck out. What is going on?"

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed my sister has been a bit off for a while now."

He sighed. "Of course I've noticed. She'll talk about it when she's ready. You know better than most how stubborn she can be. I know not to push her. She's been more emotional than usual, Lil."

I snorted. "I'm sure she has."

"What the feck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means get your ass home and she will talk to you about it. And if she doesn't, I'll be on the next flight out of here to wring her neck."

"That bad?"

"Of course it's not bad. Just go home already."

"I'm nearly halfway there already."

I turned back to my own phone to see Elise hadn't disconnected me. She was already in the car and driving home too.

"Hey, Lily," Patrick said.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"For bullying her into talking about whatever the feck is bothering her and getting her to come out of hiding it."

"You don't have to thank me for that. She's my sister. I love her and worry about her too."

"Pretty sure I may be prematurely gray after these last few months. I really try to give her the space she needs, but it's still hard when I know she's keeping things from me."

"Premature? Really, Patrick?"

He cursed under his breath, but I knew he still loved me and had zero doubts about how much he loved my sister. No sane person would have let her go this long without talking about it, yet Patrick was a bit of a saint when it came to things like this. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed and was willing to give her the moon if it meant keeping her happy, even if it sometimes left him in the dark.

I said goodbye to Patrick as he confirmed he was home, but Elise still hadn't disconnected our video call, so I got a front seat to it all. Maybe I should have ended it and given them some privacy, but that was not about to happen.

"Cam, baby, go get me some popcorn," I said after muting the call.

"Seriously?" she rolled her seven-year-old eyes at me. "What's going on?"

"Aunt Elise is pregnant and she's about to tell Uncle Patrick."

Cammie squealed. "Really?"

"Really. Now grab the popcorn. They forgot I was watching."

She ran down the hall and returned with a big bag from the pantry. I'd been craving the stuff this whole pregnancy, so Thomas was keeping stock of bags and bags of it for me.

"Did I just hear you say Elise is pregnant?" my mate asked.

"Yup."

"How the hell did that happen?"

"Paris. She forgot her birth control pills or something like that."

"But Paris was months ago."

"Thirteen weeks."

"And Patrick doesn't know yet?"

"Nope."

I took his hand and dragged him down the hall to the living room. We sat down on the couch, and I projected the call to the big television so we could all watch together.

Cammie found us there just in time and handed me my treat. I opened it and popped some of the buttered, salty goodness into my mouth.

Audrey walked in and started to ask what was going on, but I shushed her.

"Aunt Elise is pregnant," Cammie whispered to her.

My girls were just as shocked as the rest of us. Soon Willa and Lilah joined us as they each climbed up on the couch and snuggled into my sides.

I adored my little family.

"Turn it up," Thomas said.

I laughed.

"Come again?" we heard Patrick say.

"I said, I'm pregnant."

"What? But how? When?"

"Paris," she whispered.

"Baby, that was months ago. You've kept this to yourself the whole time?"

She nodded as the tears started to fall.

"He better fecking accept this," Thomas growled under his breath.

"How far along?" Patrick asked her.

"Thirteen weeks."

He froze and then beamed back at her.

"That's second trimester."

She nodded as he grabbed her and swung her around.

"A baby? We're having a baby?"

"That's the right response right there," Thomas said to no one in particular.

Our whole family was invested in this moment now.

"Yes," my sister managed to confirm.

"And this one's a keeper. I mean thirteen weeks, that's good, right?"

She sobbed in his arms and nodded.

A tear ran down my face. Thomas reached over and swiped it away.

"We're going to be okay, love. You're going to be okay. And this miracle of a baby is going to be okay. I have to believe that. We won't lose this one."

I sat up as dawning hit me, and I unmuted the call.

"What the hell does that mean? This one? As in there have been others?"

They both jumped and then Elise slowly picked up the phone.

"What the hell Lil? You've been eavesdropping the entire time?"

"It's not eavesdropping when you leave the call running," Thomas said.

"Thomas is there too?"

"Hi Aunt E," Lilah said as she grabbed the phone and waved at her.

"We're really excited to be getting a new cousin," Audrey yelled.

"The whole family is watching this moment?" she asked.

"Sorry, but there was no way I was going to miss this. But really? This isn't your first time getting pregnant?"

She sighed, and I knew the heavy weight she was carrying. I knew it far too well.

"No, it's the fourth actually, but the others were a long time ago."

"But why didn't you say something? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I know how devastated you were when you miscarried. Then each time you got pregnant, you were so paranoid and worried. I didn't want to contribute to that stress. I've never told anyone except Patrick."

"Then why wouldn't you tell him this time? Why did I have to bully you into talking to him?"

"We made it to almost ten weeks the last time. That was about seven years ago, just after you'd had Cammie. We were so hopeful, and it just didn't happen. I'm still not convinced I'm meant to be a mother, and I didn't want to get his hopes up again."

A lump formed in my throat. I'd waited until I was past the eight-week mark to tell Thomas about Cammie because of the very same thing.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

"Don't be. I didn't let you."

"Well, I'm sorry all the same. And I'm sorry I bullied you into telling Patrick before you were ready."

"I was ready. I think I just needed that little bit of a push. I've been really sick this time and overly emotional. It's never been like this before. Lucy says everything is progressing well." She looked at her mate with obvious love shining between them. "Tomorrow we'll know for sure. I've debated on telling you until after the confirmation, but I would really like you to be there with me. If everything's okay, we'll get to see a healthy little baby in the making."

They kissed, and I knew it was time to give them their privacy.

"Can we watch too?" Willa asked hopefully.

"Not this time, peanut," Thomas told her.

"You will call the second you know regardless of the outcome. Promise me, Elise."

"I promise, Lil. And thanks for everything."

Before the call ended, I saw Patrick kneel down and kiss her stomach, which made me cry all over again.

"Why don't you girls go outside and play?" Thomas suggested.

"Can we walk to the Alpha house?" Cammie asked.

"I am sure your grandparents would love that."

"Yes! Come on guys. I bet Grandma will make us cookies."

The four of them left us alone and Thomas wrapped me up in his arms and held me close as I cried, mourning the child we'd lost once more, but also the nieces or nephews that I hadn't known could have been.

"I'm sorry she kept that from you."

"It was her burden to bear. I do understand it. When she finally cracked and told me she was pregnant, I couldn't understand why she would keep it to herself like that. I knew Patrick would be fine. He'll make a great father. But I didn't know she'd had multiple miscarriages. How could I not have known that about my own sister?"

"Elise has always been more private when it comes to big stuff. You know that, and you love her through it. That's all you can do."

"How did I get so lucky to have such a smart mate?"

He leaned down and kissed me.

"Does that officially mean I am no longer the biggest douchebag on the planet?"

I grimaced. I hated the old nickname I'd once given him. He was none of the things I'd thought him to be. He'd proved that over and over again every single day for the last decade of our lives together.

"You know, the girls aren't here, and we have the house to ourselves."

He wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled the mating mark I proudly bore. His mark.

Mine , my wolf growled.

"What exactly are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking there's no way you can possibly get me any more pregnant, so we might as well take advantage of it."

I gasped when he picked me up into his arms. I'd never been this big before, but he carried me with ease as if I hadn't gained a single ounce this pregnancy.

"I like how you think, Slugger."

He walked us down the hall and right into our bedroom.