SIXTEEN

- sedona -

Kuvier stops sleeping all together in the days after Enikk joins our little encampment. It's a point of contention between us, but he refuses to fold on the issue. And really, how much can I argue when all of our conversations are like talks between two toddlers just learning to speak?

Despite the fact that he's learned many of my words and I've learned just as many if not more of his, all of our word exchanges have been surrounding what we need for survival. A conversation about jealousy and territorialism isn't going to work with what we have in our arsenal.

So, for the past several nights, he has sat by the fire staring into the open expanse. And each morning, I wake up to him unmoved, the exhaustion etched deeper into his face. I can tell it's starting to wear him down and he can only go so much longer like this before he truly crashes.

I think his reaction to Enikk is ridiculous. The guy is nice enough and barely even looks my way. I'd hoped that as Enikk's disinterest in me was made more and more clear that Kuvier would calm down on that front. But it only takes a few days for me to realize that he could go like this for a while and I decide I can't bear to watch him like this anymore. So, I devise a plan to combat this insanity.

"I wonder where Enikk and Kuvier disappear every day," I say to Renata as I sit next to her, pulling my sewing needle in and out of the hides on my lap.

I actually do know. Kuvier had managed to convey to me that they go scavenging for things. I'm not up on the specifics, but I know at least that they always come back with those reeds for firewood or some small animal to roast over the fire.

Renata wouldn't know this, considering she's barely learned any of their language and spends most of her day using pieces of charcoal from the fire to draw on the wall. She's got quite the Sistine Chapel vibe going on over there. It's hard to tell completely, but it looks like a large forest scape.

Considering she was the one who originally suggested we do recon on this new species of being, she's doing a terrible job. In fact, much of the spirit and fire that had swarmed in her before is gone. It's almost painful to see the listlessness in her now, compared to the energy of the woman who refused to give up on a slave ship in the middle of space.

"Must be nice to get out of the crate so often," she comments with some degree of jealousy in her voice.

This is exactly what I figured she'd say. For the past two days, she'd been growing more and more antsy about being stuck in one place. After I'd gotten (mostly) over the hurt of her comment about my ‘wiles' and ‘seduction' of Kuvier, we'd started talking again. I'd learned she was a private investigator and a bounty hunter back on Earth. Naturally a busy body and a workaholic, sitting in a small space for so long has been slowly driving her insane.

"You know you could probably go with them." Her eyes snap to me, widening. I shrug, feigning calm as I pull the needle and thread taut.

Back on Earth, I learned to sew quilts from my great grandmother. This is harder, but similar, and while my work is way shoddier than whoever created Kuvier and Enikk's clothes, the pants I'm working on aren't terrible. I already completed a large tunic for Renata, which she wears. I'm working on items for all the girls. We've agreed to wait to wake them up until we have enough supplies and clothing for everyone.

"As much as I am going stir crazy, I don't know about being stuck with Enikk and Kuvier at the same time," she rebuttals.

While she's relaxed around them to an extent, she's still tense whenever one of them gets too close. Maybe I should be more hesitant like her, but it is hard to keep my defenses up where Kuvier is concerned.

"I could tell Kuvier to stay," I offer casually as if I just thought of the idea. "Enikk would probably be better company for you anyway. He's less surly, and he hasn't been super weird and stare-y anymore."

"He did completely stop with the whole stalker vibe," she concedes thoughtfully. Something shifted in Enikk. Gone are the stares and creepy following that he'd done before. What he'd been waiting so expectantly for either came and went or never happened. Whatever the case, he's seemingly lost his special interest in Renata.

"Yeah, it would probably be easy enough to make happen, but I mean, I love having you stuck with me day in and day out." I flash her a bright smile. "What's another day in here, right?"

She considers it for a long moment. "Do you think you could get Kuvier to give me that big ass curved knife he gave you that one time?" I push down the satisfaction at knowing I've convinced her.

"Almost definitely."

***

There turns out to be no ‘almost' about it. The moment Kuvier realizes what I want, he gives it to me and makes absolutely no comment when I promptly give it to Renata. The conversation with Kuvier about Renata taking his place on today's scavenging trip goes similarly my way. If I were a different woman, the power I seem to hold over this man would go to my head.

"Can you find out where he's taking me?" Renata asks as she wraps her shoes in furs and ties them together with sinew string.

"Sure." I drop the pile of furs in my arms by the fire and head out of the crate to where Kuvier and Enikk stand, heads pressed together.

"...vaktu masva khesi toh—" Enikks words cut off the moment they hear me approach and Kuvier is at my side in an instant. I'm disappointed that I don't catch any words I already know. Though, I did hear that word ‘khesi' again. I make a mental note to ask Kuvier about that another time.

"Is wrong, Sedona?" Kuvier asks in halted English.

I correct him automatically, "‘Is something wrong, Sedona?'"

We've both been great about fixing grammar in each other's language. I think Kuvier struggles more with ours as there are more filler words than his. In his language, everything is succinct and uses as few words as possible to convey meaning.

I choose to answer him in his language, asking through some effort where Enikk and Renata will go.

"Nuku xiixii." Trap xiixii. I scramble for a second to remember what a xiixii is, and then an image of a small meerkat like animal pops in my head.

"That's all." This I say in English, giving a shrug to convey meaning as well. Kuvier presses a hand to my lower back and I fight to ignore the weight of it through his cloak.

"Go back inside?" He asks it as a question and not a command. I consider, but shake my head.

As much as I won't admit it to anyone else if they asked, I like being near Kuvier. It's weird and strange, and despite the fact that I've been in love before, the need to be near Kuvier is stronger than anything I've felt. But I'm not in love. That would be insane. Regardless, the fact that a goat-lion-man hybrid creature has managed to worm his way into my heart is definitely something I struggle with. But, Kuvier's sweetness makes it an easier internal fight.

I stay out there with them for a while as they talk and sharpen weapons. It's not much longer after that when Renata joins us, covered in furs up to her eyes and clutching the scythe like a lifeline.

I let her know the plan, and Enikk and Renata are heading out. Renata seems almost excited as she leaves. She's clearly more at ease with a large weapon in her hand and the promise that I'll send Kuvier after her if she isn't back by the time the second sun sets.

Kuvier and I watch them disappear into the swirling white abyss—the snow hasn't stopped in days. When they are out of sight, I leave his side and head back into the crate, knowing he'll follow. He does, and stands watching me as I carefully lay out the furs a few feet from the fire. I place them close enough to feel the warmth but not too close to be overwhelmingly hot.

Stepping back, I eye my handiwork. I've maneuvered the furs into a larger, flatter version of the way I spread them to sleep. This'll do.

With that, I walk over to where Kuvier sits, watching me and chewing at oftii jerky. I stop in front of him and hold out my hand expectantly. He places the jerky in it without issue and I laugh out loud shaking my head. I offer his food back to him and he eats the last bit in one bite looking at me curiously. Trying again, I hold out my hand.

"Come here," I say in his language. He has told me that many times, so it was not hard to learn.

He places his overly large, furred hand in mine. I guess I could call it a paw? But, it's not exactly. He has five clawed fingers, and though the palm and fingertips are rough like paw pads, the dexterity is closer to hands. Ignoring my internal debate about his anatomy, I lead him to the sleeping furs.

"Okay, you can sleep now," I declare, gesturing to the makeshift bed determinedly.

His eyes soften and he glances longingly at the furs, but then he glances back out to the vast expanse of snow in the direction that Enikk and Renata disappeared. He shakes his head softly, refusing my request. He denies me very little, and that makes me frown deeply, thinking carefully about what to do. An idea strikes me, and a preemptive heat crawls up my neck.

But, he needs to sleep and I think the concern he has is not knowing if something happens to me. I know just how to fix that.

Don't ask why I'm so determined to take care of him. I'll chalk it up to being a good Samaritan in the face of all he's done for me, even though part of me knows it's more than that. Either way, I sit crisscross on the furs, pulling him down next to me. He mimics my sitting position, watching me curiously, his golden eyes dim with exhaustion. I tuck one of the furs in my lap and then pat it.

"Will you sleep now?"

It's a question this time. His eyes widen as he realizes what I am offering. We have been far less touchy the last few days. That's my fault, I know. I feel uncomfortable under the watchful eyes of the other two, and I've given Kuvier less opportunities and cues to touch me. In a weird way, I've almost…missed him, but he's so respectful of my space that, of course, he didn't push it.

Kuvier folds himself over, laying his head in my lap hesitantly, trying not to hurt me with his horns. He maneuvers himself until he's lying on his back, his horns nicely out of the way. His eyes find mine and they peer into me intensely. My breath catches in my throat and the desire for him to kiss me winds through my body with sudden fervor. The sheer force of it takes me by surprise and I disconnect our gaze.

I realize too late that I should've made sure I brought my sewing with me, but it's across the fire and there's no way I could reach it without waking him up. So, instead, I let myself sit and ponder my thoughts for what feels like a few hours. At first, my thoughts stay on what I need to do next to prepare to wake the others. But, despite my best efforts, it doesn't take long for those thoughts to circle right back to the male resting his head in my lap.

His eyes are closed and his breathing has evened out as his chest slowly rises and falls. A small smile touches my lips as I stare at him. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps; innocent and oddly vulnerable. His usually fierce expression is softer, making him appear almost boyish. Well, more…kittenish? Either way, it's sweet and cute and it tugs at me. I reach my hand up, hesitating for only a moment before I begin stroking his head with one finger, gliding across my favorite spot between his horns where I've learned he's ridiculously soft.

It's strange to think about it, considering everything that's happened and the long term implications of where we are, but at this moment, I feel truly …happy. I'm willing to admit that part of that is because I won't let myself actually think about where we are, what this means, and what I've lost forever. But, even in the face of denial and running, Kuvier makes me feel safe. If he weren't here, not only would I likely be dead, considering this environment is entirely unforgiving, but I'd also most definitely have succumbed to the panic that threatens to consume me whenever I think too hard.

Sure, I'm stranded on a frozen tundra of a planet and everything has gone to shit as far as my life is concerned, but being around Kuvier makes it easier to push aside the fear and uncertainty. After being forced into a pseudo-leadership position with the other girls and having to think my way out of a massive life or death situation, it's nice to have someone to protect me . Now that I think about it, my whole life I was always expected to save myself and everyone else too.

My mom was never around when I was young, too busy worrying about this man or that who promised her the world and delivered on none of it. Since a young age, I've had to do all the ‘fending' by myself. The only time she would appear was when she needed me. Either me saving her from some man she slept with or bailing her out financially as I started getting older before I went no-contact. But, nobody has ever been that safety net for me. There's never been a chance for me to breathe and trust someone else to take care of it. Next to Kuvier though, my brain can relax, my body can calm, and I don't feel like I'm fighting just to stay afloat.

There's something incredibly comforting about his presence. The only time I don't feel isolated and lost is when he's with me. Even with Renata around, or before when all of us were facing threats together, I felt alone somehow. With him next to me, I feel like I don't have to face everything head on, like there's somebody standing between me and the big bad universe.

I do it without thinking.

Leaning down, I brush my lips gently over his. It's just a peck, barely even that, but when I pull back, my breath sticks in my chest as his golden eyes open and fixate on me. There's not an ounce of exhaustion behind that intoxicating gaze now. My mouth opens to say something, but when nothing comes out, I close it back.

Kuvier peers at me, as if considering, before an arm comes up slowly, cupping my head. He pulls me down until our lips are a breath away, and then pauses, giving me the chance to stop this. I don't.

I can't.

Instead, I move the last hair until my lips press against his, and the moment they make contact, everything else seems to disappear around us.

When our mouths connect, Kuvier seems content to leave them pressed gently together. His lips are more of a downy suede than skin-like texture, but still plush and soft. It takes a second of no movement before it occurs to me that maybe kissing isn't a thing where he's from. I hesitate for only a moment before I take over the kiss. My mouth begins to move slowly, and at first Kuvier jerks back in surprise, but then he's following my lead.

I lose myself in the moment, becoming bolder and running my tongue over his bottom lip. He lets out a breath and I take the opening, stroking my tongue in his mouth. He groans and grips my braid to pull me closer as our tongues caress each other.

He has to catch the rhythm, but the moment he does, he takes over. His hand slides down until it's pressed to my neck. The hold isn't threatening, but definitely possessive, and it sends a thrill straight through me. My fingers thread in the fur on his chest as we move in sync, tasting and teasing at each other. The feeling is indescribable. I've kissed my share of men, and some were even what I'd consider a good kisser, but nothing touches this. Not even close.

When I finally pull away to catch my breath, my lips feel swollen and Kuvier looks at me with so much tenderness it makes my heart hurt as he rubs a gentle, clawed thumb over my bottom lip.

"Ti khesi." I know the word ‘ti' means possession, like my, or mine. But the second word is one I'd been meaning to ask about.

"What is ‘khesi'?" I ask the question softly, feeling somehow shy in the face of the kiss we just shared.

Kuvier closes his eyes, thoughtfully, presumably thinking about a way to explain the word. When he opens them, he presses his large hand over his heart.

"Khesi." He gestures from his heart to me a few times and I realize that it must be like ‘love' or something, an adoration for someone who holds your heart, maybe. It's a big declaration, indicating that I, a woman he's known for only a few days, holds his heart. So why does it fill me with so much warmth?

My fingers stroke at that favorite spot on his forehead as I ponder this. But, my thoughts are cut short when I hear a loud chime go off behind me. My head whips around, and Kuvier sits up just as fast.

A pod light flashes yellow. My eyes widen when, like a row of falling dominoes, the other pods flicker yellow, sounding a warning.

And then, as if seeking to make my life hell, two of them blink twice before glaring red.

"Shit."