18. Vin

After the meeting with the Five Families, I just want to go back to my apartment, shut myself in and nurse my hangover. Of course, I also want to have a pity party for myself. The thought of numbing my wounds with more alcohol briefly crosses my mind, but I'm still too hungover to even consider drinking any more alcohol right now.

My brothers, however, have a different plan. After Carlotta takes off, saying she's meeting Alessia and they have things to do, Miceli, Enzo and Angelo drag me out to a nearby cafe and make me rehydrate with a sports drink and a plate of greasy bacon and some hash browns. It actually tastes damn good and I devour it. After eating, my stomach feels much better.

"So, what's your plan?" Enzo asks me.

"What do you mean?" I finish off the electrolyte water.

"He means are you going to get your shit together and go talk to Hannah or are you going to avoid the situation like a pussy?" Miceli clarifies.

Miceli makes it sound so easy, but facing my feelings for Hannah is anything but simple.

"It's not complicated," Angelo adds, as though reading my mind. "If you like her, make her your girl."

I roll my eyes because Ang has no idea what it's like to fall for a woman. To want her so badly that you physically ache when she isn't near. To think about her constantly when you're awake and dream about her when you're asleep. To yearn to touch her and hold her and give her everything her heart desires.

Yeah, my little brother, the player extraordinaire, has no clue. I can't wait for the day he meets his match. I predict he will not handle it well and I'm going to be highly amused and offer him his stupid advice right back—"It's not complicated. If you like her, make her your girl."

"I think it's more than like at this point, Ang," Enzo says then turns his full attention on me. "C'mon, Vin, If you can't man-up and admit your true feelings—that you love this woman and want her in your life—then you're going to lose her."

"It's so damn easy for you guys to give me advice, but you have no idea how hard this is for me." Dammit, I hate being vulnerable and that's the exact position I'm finding myself in.

"Because of Cynda?" Miceli asks, hitting the nail on the head. Again, he's too damn perceptive because as close as I am to my brothers, I never told them the dirty details of what exactly happened with her. Only that she cheated and I caught her.

Letting out a pent-up breath, I force a nod.

"Did you even love her?" Enzo asks.

I think over his question, a little surprised by it, but not exactly sure how to answer. "We were engaged."

"That's not what I asked."

It's at that exact moment, an epiphany hits me hard and out of the blue. When I compare how I feel about Hannah to how I felt when I was with Cynda…well, there is no comparison. It's completely different. Like comparing rotten apples to juicy oranges.

"I know I never shared the full story of what happened," I say slowly, "but, at the time, all I wanted to do was forget about her. The short of it is I walked into her fucking Allan Meridian up against the wall in the coat closet at a charity gala, and she didn't show an ounce of regret. Instead, she had the audacity to look me right in the eyes then smile right before she came."

Sympathetic curses fill the air.

"I thought she broke my heart, but now with hindsight, I know it was my trust. Because after what you just asked me, Enzo, I don't think I ever loved Cynda. At least not like I love Hannah."

There. I'd said it. I'd admitted my true feelings and it was a relief. It felt like a dam just broke and, instead of water, love began filling my heart. My brothers lit up like the Fourth of July and whooped it up.

"I knew it!" Enzo announces and slaps me on the back.

"I'm happy for you, bro," Miceli says, grinning widely.

"Yeah, same," Angelo adds. "Don't forget who your favorite brother is when you're choosing your best man."

"Me!" Enzo calls out and we all laugh.

"I'm glad you finally got your head out of your ass," Miceli states.

I'm breathing easier now that I've finally admitted my feelings. "Yeah, me, too."

"You better go get your girl before some other man swoops in and woos her away," Angelo says, grinning from ear to ear, his smile bright white and charming. "Like me!"

"Don't even think about it," I warn him. "I just hope she can forgive me for being such an idiot."

"She will," Enzo assures me, and I hope he's right. Otherwise, I really will end up with a broken heart. And I don't think I'll be able to recover this time around.

"Okay, I'm going over to see her and do some serious begging."

"Good luck!" Miceli says.

I'll take all the luck I can get. "Thanks," I say wryly. "Let's hope she's on the same page."

"She looks at you with stars in her eyes, Vin," Enzo tells me and my heart constricts. "She's definitely on the same page."

"Yeah, she's just been patiently waiting for you to realize it and get your shit together," Miceli adds.

I nod, toss them a salute, then hurry out of the cafe. As I head back to my car, I realize that I've been fighting a losing battle this entire time. Every time Hannah managed to punch through one of my walls, I did my best to reinforce it, but she still found weak spots and a way to sneak through. She found the way into my heart and I know I'll never be the same.

Slipping into my car, I start the engine and say the words out loud, "I love you, Hannah." It feels so good to speak the words, to give them life, and I can't wait to tell her. The moment I say them, something happens. It's like the rest of the walls around my heart come tumbling down.

It's time to stop being so miserable and dwelling on the past. Yeah, Cynda was a bitch, but I gave her too much credit. She didn't wreck me for other women; she brutalized my trust and left me fragile and vulnerable. Too broken for any other possible relationship. But Hannah—along with a little help from my brothers and Lottie—has shown me I'm capable of loving and being loved in return. I'm worthy of all the beautiful and miraculous gifts that come with love, too.

I'm finally ready to take a chance. A leap of faith. I just hope and pray that Hannah is, too.

I know I screwed up and I'm going to do my best to prove to her how much I love her and deserve her. Of course, at this point, she might not want me any longer.

No, I don't believe that. Hannah Everson is my woman, my perfect match, and I'd be willing to bet anything that she already knows this and, like Miceli said, she's been waiting for me to figure my shit out and get my head out of my ass.

Prepared to go down on my knees and beg, grovel and plead—whatever it takes—I drive over to Brooklyn and park in front of her building. The first thing I'm going to do is have her move in with me and get her out of this crummy neighborhood. I hate that she lives in a rundown, unsafe area. Not for much longer, though, I assure myself. Very soon, she's going to be sleeping in my bed every single night. I can't wait to wake up to her beautiful face and even more lovely heart every single morning.

Belatedly, I realize I should've brought her flowers or something. I suppose I could walk down to the corner store and see if they sell bouquets, but then quickly decide against it. All I want is to get to her as quickly as possible and make things right again. Then, I promise to make sure my Angioletto has fresh flowers every day for the rest of her life.

Her life with me.