15. Hannah

Iscream out Vin's name, my inner muscles tightening around his hard length, and then we orgasm at the exact same moment. Dropping forward, I melt against him, breathing hard. Too late, I realize we didn't use protection. Maybe I should be feeling some sort of regret, but…I'm not. Instead, I find myself still spasming around his cock, caught in a maelstrom of pure bliss, and so turned on by the fact he's inside me bare that my body unexpectedly jolts with another orgasm.

Crying out, I stiffen in his arms and come again. I've heard of multiple orgasms, but never really understood the term until this moment. Trembling hard, lost in sensation, I bury my face against his chest and want to weep.

I love being with Vin. Our relationship is wild, free and unpredictable. But he isn't giving himself to me fully and his walls are still so high. I'm not sure what I can do to get past them.

When he lifts me up and off, I slide back over into the passenger seat, pulling my skirt back down. Neither of us says anything for a long moment. Then Vin adjusts his seat and starts the car.

I wait and wait for him to say something…anything…but he just stares straight ahead, eyes glued to the road, fingers gripping the steering wheel in a death hold.

What is he thinking? Why won't he communicate with me? Yet, I suppose that I can say the same thing about myself. I can't seem to force a word out and I'm suddenly so sad because I think it's pretty clear that I want him so much more than he wants me.

"Take me home. Please," I finally whisper. He isn't giving me the reassurance I need or telling me he cares. I'm questioning everything and I feel hot tears threaten. God, when did I become such an emotional wreck? I guess falling hard for a man does that to a girl. Especially after I've given him my everything and he's giving me nothing in return. Not emotionally, anyway.

Vin is my hero and my protector, but he gets super close and then pulls away. Every time. It's mentally exhausting and I don't know what he wants from me. Other than a fast fuck in his office or car. And that makes me sad because I want so much more. I know we have the potential to be so damn good together. Why can't he see that? Why won't he take a chance and leap with me?

Glancing over, I study him and wonder what he's afraid of? His handsome face is set in hard lines and angles, and he's glaring at the road ahead. A part of me is ashamed that I gave in to him so easily just now, but there's no use fighting the overpowering connection constantly trying to pull us together. We're like two magnets, constantly drawn to each other. Fighting the pull is useless.

Even though I want to talk about what's happening between us, I press my lips together and remain quiet until we reach my apartment building. But the urge to discuss our relationship overwhelms me. I have to know where Vin's head is at. Does he care about me at all? Or am I just a conquest? A little girl to be toyed with until he grows bored?

Vin puts the car in park and stares out the windshield, looking slightly wrecked and confused. As though he can't quite grasp what's happening either.

"Vin? Can we talk?"

"Okay," he says slowly. His attention finally turns to me and my heart catches. He's so damn handsome and I reach over and wipe my lipstick off his face.

I think it's time to take a leap of faith and ask what he wants. Just be blunt and forthright. Once I know where he stands with me, with us, we can either move forward together or separately. Although the latter hurts so badly, I don't want to even think about it.

"What's going on?" I ask quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"Between us?" I clarify even though he knows damn well what I mean. "One minute you're hot and the next—" I gesture between us, "—you're cold. Am I just a game to you? Another notch on your bedpost? Or, do you see a potential future with us?"

There. I said it. Bracing myself for his answer, I hold my breath and stare into his amazing green eyes. And, instead of answering my question, he glances out the window again.

"This isn't a very good neighborhood," he murmurs. "You should move somewhere safer."

I merely blink, confused by how he's trying to avoid my very serious question. Then, I get annoyed. "That's not what I asked," I state, my voice turning cool and full of aggravation. "Besides, it's really none of your business where I live."

He focuses back on me, green eyes narrowing slightly. Finally, I get a reaction from him.

"It is, though," he insists. "I want you safe."

I let out a frustrated breath. "Honestly, Vin, why do you even care?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I ask you something and you completely ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you, Hannah. I hear every word you say. Every comma. But…" He swipes a hand down his face. "I'm not the man for you."

Confusion sweeps through me. "Why would you even say that? You're amazing, Vin, and?—"

"I don't do serious relationships, Hannah," he says, cutting me off. "I can't give you what you want."

My heart sinks. "How do you know what I want?"

"You deserve a man who can give you forever?—"

"I'm not asking for forever! I just want to spend time with you and keep getting to know you better. You can't deny how good we are together, Vin, so don't even try."

His lips remain tightly pressed together and he knows I'm right, so he doesn't even try to deny it.

Feeling a surge of confidence, I press forward. "What do you want from me, Vin? An employee or a girlfriend?"

When he doesn't say anything, merely shakes his head sadly, I have my answer. White-hot anger pours through me, but, really, I have no one to blame but myself. Vin has been nothing but honest and upfront with me from the beginning. I'm the one who chose to give him my virginity. He's made me no promises which means he's broken none, either.

Throwing the car door open, I hop out and slam it shut. The earlier sunshine is gone and the sky is dark with the threat of an approaching storm. It matches my mood perfectly and I do my best to hold back the tears until I get inside. So he can't see me or how upset I am.

The moment I step into my building, the tears start streaming down my face in a torrent. Sobs tear from my throat as I rush up the stairs, unable to see anything in front of me. It's just all a blur and I make the stupid mistake of running straight into Liza Dixon, my nosy neighbor.

"Hannah! Are you okay? What's wrong, dear?" she asks.

Even though I always stop and talk to Liza, I can't right now. I'm too upset and I hurry past, my head down and head straight for my door. The key shakes in my hand and it takes me a few times to get it open. Once I'm inside, I quickly shut and lock it then turn around, lean back and slide down to the floor.

Overwhelming emotion and a fresh onslaught of tears pour from my already-puffy eyes. Damn Vincentius Rossi. Damn Dexter Creed. And, most of all, damn me for falling head over heels for a man who doesn't want me.

It hurts and I press a hand over my heart. I truly thought we had something special, but he refuses to acknowledge it. Why does he say he can't give me what I want? What is he so afraid of? If he felt anything toward me, wouldn't it make sense that he'd want to try? That he'd want to be with me, too?

I'm not sure how long I sit on the floor. I guess until I'm all cried out. Eventually, I drag myself up and head into the bathroom. I turn on the shower, unbutton my blouse, shimmy my skirt off and freeze when I realize that my panties are still in the backseat of Vin's car.

"Oh, God," I groan and slide a hand down my face. Could this day get any more worse? As if in answer, there's a knock on my door. My heart jumps up into my throat and the first thing I think is it's Vin. Grabbing my bathrobe off the back of the door, I slip it on and hurry to the door. Pulling it open, I frown at the delivery man standing there and holding a huge vase of blood red roses.

What in the world?

"Hannah Everson?" he asks.

"Uh, yeah."

"I have a delivery for you."

He hands it over and the vase is heavy and weighs a ton. "Do I, ah, owe you anything?" I ask, not sure of the protocol since no one has ever sent me flowers before. "A tip or?—"

"Everything has been taken care of. Just need a signature."

"Oh, okay, hang on." I turn and set the flowers down on the table and then scrawl a quick signature on his ipad.

"All set. Have a good day."

"You, too," I respond and slowly shut the door. I'm beyond confused. Looking for an answer, I walk over to the vase and pluck the card out. Hoping they're from Vin, but knowing that's impossible since I just left him, I unseal the envelope and frown.

Dearest Hannah, I won't hold you responsible for what happened tonight. This is all Rossi's fault and he will pay. You still owe me dinner, though, and I shall collect, sweet girl. Apologies for what happened and I will make it up to you. I promise. Looking forward to the next time, Caleb.

"Ughhh," I groan and drop the card. I don't want his stupid roses and I certainly never want to see Caleb Durant again. I hear a distant buzzing and walk over to my purse. Pulling out my phone, I check the caller ID, but it's flashing "unknown." A part of me is tempted to answer, but I don't and, instead, I let it drop into voicemail. A moment later, there's a beep signaling a new message.

After hitting a couple of buttons, I lift the phone to my ear and listen. And, of course, it's the last person on the planet who I want to be hearing from.

"Hello, Hannah, it's Caleb. I hope you received the roses okay. Their beauty pales in comparison to yours—" I roll my eyes, "—but, a man can try. My apologies that things got out of hand and our dinner was ruined. Rossi is a loose cannon who will have to be dealt with. Clearly. But don't worry your pretty little head about that. I'll call you later so we can reschedule our dinner. I have a feeling once we're able to spend more time together, you'll get to like me even more. I tend to grow on people."

Yeah, just like a wart,I think.

"Have a good night and we'll talk soon. Ciao."

A shiver runs down my spine when I think about meeting Caleb again. But, really what choice do I have? He's threatening to take over Rossi Vineyard and I can't let that happen. Plus, his comment about Vin being a loose cannon who will have to be dealt with leaves me more upset than I was before.

Should I warn Vin? I let out a sigh and realize Vin can take care of himself. I'm the last person he wants to see or hear from. Which leads me to my next dilemma—should I quit the only job I've ever enjoyed. A job that I'm good at and like waking up in the morning to go to? A job that pays me an obscene amount of money and provides me with endless perks?

Because the truth is I can't handle working so closely with Vin every day. It hurts too much.

Instead of heading back to the bathroom to take a shower, I wander into my tiny kitchen and pluck a bottle of wine out of the cupboard. Of course, it's a fancy bottle from Rossi Vineyard that Vin gave me to try. At this point, I couldn't care less about how it tastes. I just need some alcohol to take the edge off and dull my senses. Ideally, I'll get stinking drunk and pass out before I start crying again.

Because the worst thing in the world has happened to me. I've fallen in love with an emotionally-unavailable man. Sure, he's given me his body—several times—but he keeps his heart locked up tight and far out of my reach.

Why, dammit? What happened in his past to make him so closed off?I wonder.

I wish I had an answer, but I don't. Vin never told me anything about his past or any previous relationships he'd had. But I have a good feeling that the answer lies there. Most likely, some uncaring woman fucked him over and, as a result, he shut himself down and doesn't allow himself to become emotionally-invested or serious. It's a tale as old as time, right?

And that's a damn shame because Vincentius Rossi would make the most amazing boyfriend or husband. He's caring, considerate, protective and an amazing lover. I don't think he even realizes how wonderful he is and that makes me sad. It's more than a damn shame. It's a tragedy.

But what can I do?

After fighting with the cork, I pour myself a big glass of dark red deliciousness and take a long sip, praying for sweet oblivion to come fast. Three glasses later, after curling up on my couch and crying some more, I finally fall asleep.

And, of course, all of my wine-induced dreams are filled with Vin's handsome face.