Chapter 17

“I have lists of your preferred foods and your limits, but I do not have a list of dates, my Theo.” Jerker was looking very frustrated about that fact, but I wasn’t sure how we’d gotten to this point.

What had he been doing on his phone?

I’d gone downstairs long enough to grab our clothes out of the dryer and now he was personally offended he didn’t have a date list?

“I hadn’t thought about doing a list like that.” Yes, we needed to fix this right off the bat. “You come up with the best ideas. Thank you.”

Giving him a quick kiss as I headed into the bedroom to set our clothes down, I scrambled to figure out what to say next. This was not his idea, so he’d either read something ridiculous online or someone like Larry had been winding him up.

Was both a reasonable guess?

He was looking slightly less offended and more confused by the time that I came back to the living room, but I didn’t like him worried, so I went over to him and lifted my hands up like a needy little begging for uppies.

Perfect.

His smile came out as I went up. “Thank you for making sure our clothing was clean, my Theo.”

Running my hands over his larger tentacles so I could give him a slightly awkward hug, I wiggled so he’d hold me tighter. When I was trapped against him and he seemed much more relaxed, I aimed happy thoughts in his direction. “You’re welcome, Master. Thank you for letting me take care of you this time.”

He had a love-hate relationship with the washing machine that I wasn’t ready to deal with yet.

In his mind, it was nearly barbaric and we were doing it all wrong. I wasn’t sure how we were supposed to be doing it because he didn’t have the English vocabulary to explain it, but we were basically going down to the creek to scrub the clothes in his mind.

He’d get over it eventually because he had a thing for claiming household chores and he’d only let the stupid machine freak him out for so long. But for now, it was my way of taking care of him for a change and I was going to enjoy it.

“You take very good care of me, my Theo.” Stroking over my head, he smiled and snuggled me closer against his body as he walked us into the bedroom. “Now I must take care of you, and according to the internet relationship advisors, I must make sure we have dates.”

Oh.

“Larry said he has a list from his human mate about appropriate options.” Jerker was working himself up again, but before he could get too far, I jumped back in.

“Well, Larry probably only needed a list because they don’t communicate as well as we do.” Oh yeah. I was a genius when it came to making my mate happy, at the very least. “You know how well we talk about things, so you weren’t worried.”

Nope.

He’d been frustrated and cranky.

But as he set me down on the bed, I decided not to mention that part. “And thank you for researching ways we can have a healthy relationship.”

I wasn’t sure the internet was the place to go for good advice about that kind of stuff, but it was cute that he was making sure he was doing it right.

“Should we go out to dinner? Oh, have you been to the movies?” He’d mentioned going on a few get to know Earth field trips, but he hadn’t mentioned the movies yet. “I think it’d be fun cuddling up to you in the movies.”

He went very still before his limbs went back to petting me. “Movie theaters are places of entertainment with a large screen where the same movies from the television are projected.”

Well, he knew what they were at least.

“Yes.” He didn’t seem like he understood the excitement, but he also didn’t seem like he hated the idea. “Or we could go try out a new grocery store together.”

He really liked doing that so I was surprised when he frowned. “I am not allowed to run errands on a date.”

That was interesting.

“I don’t see trying out a new grocery store as running errands.” Although, I could see why he did…the internet had told him it was. “I thought it would be fun to go to show you one of the expensive grocery stores. They’re different than the regular one we go to.”

Jerker looked like the world had stopped spinning for a few seconds. “They change depending on the price…the price of the food?”

Kind of.

“They change based on where the stores are located and how they want people to see them. There is one really big grocery store closer to work where everything is more expensive and that’s where the wealthy people shop. They have different brands and it’s huge.” It was also ridiculous, but I thought he’d find the differences interesting.

“That is.” He paused, thoughts clearly going either too fast or too slow. “That is very unexpected.”

I couldn’t decide what his reaction was, so I just waited and ran my fingers over the limbs that had gone very still.

“The brands of food products change?” He looked stumped by that one, so I nodded clearly. “Humans will pay higher prices to appear more…more special. I was not expecting brand changes as well.”

That was obvious.

“Do you want to go check them out?” I wasn’t sure if it was like a big research project to him or some kind of hobby, but he really liked the grocery store.

“No.” Shaking his head, he looked like he was pushing the idea to the back of his mind as he started petting me again. “Errands are not dates.”

He’d clearly read that entirely too many times.

But it was still early enough in the afternoon that we could do several different things. “How about we do a movie and then find dinner? After the date portion of our day, we’ll wander around the other grocery store before coming home.”

I thought it was a good compromise that even the internet would approve of, but he sighed and was back to looking entirely too thoughtful over the whole situation. “I am not supposed to wear you out before you start work again tomorrow. Sundays are for rest and readying for the week.”

Because the internet had said so.

Okay.

“We ran our errands already and we even got the laundry done. I’m ready for the week and we have hours and hours before I need to go to bed. We have plenty of time for us to do something fun and for you to satisfy your curiosity about the other grocery store.” Logic was helping the situation, so I kept using it.

“As long as it doesn’t take us long to leave the house, I’m pretty sure we’ll get to the theater for one of the last afternoon showings.” Adding in a dash of wicked seemed like a good distraction too, so I turned my head and caught another tentacle that’d been tracing my jaw.

After giving it a tiny suck, I smiled when he let out a soft sigh. “If we sit in the back, I can give you kisses, Master. No one will see.”

And even if they did, we’d still have our clothes on.

The limbs that were wrapped around me tightened before slowly relaxing and I knew I had him. “Public pleasures are taboo, are they not?”

Technically.

“As long as I have my clothes on and no one sees, I don’t think it really counts as taboo.” But clear limits were important, so I worked at explaining what I was thinking. “My limits for the movie theater are that I have to keep my clothes on and no one can watch our pleasures. As long as it’s mostly private, I’ll just feel like it’s naughty without it actually being a legal problem.”

He made a soft, thinking sound and eventually nodded. “The illusion of taboo will give you additional pleasures. I understand.”

Well, he seemed to.

“You can always ask questions if something doesn’t sound right.” Hugging a few of the limbs that were still wrapped around me, I leaned close and gave him another kiss. “We’re really good at communicating. Look at how we talked about going on a date.”

Yes, giving his pride a nice boost chased away the last of his reservations.

No more internet dating advice for Jerker.

“Our communication is excellent.” Puffing up and looking very pleased with himself, he was a changed Dom. “We shall date and explore. Then we will come home and I will make sure you sleep well.”

Since that probably meant an orgasm to wear me out, I nodded in complete agreement. “I think that’s a wonderful plan for our date.”

The plan was perfect, but I hadn’t thought about the fine print because I was surprised when Jerker started taking my shirt off. All it took was a second to realize that he needed to change my clothes into something date-worthy, but there was a moment where I wondered if he thought dates happened naked.

That mental rabbit trail had me hard as a rock by the time that he stripped my pants off me and he was frowning as he studied the underwear he’d put on me so I could go do the laundry. “Your body does not usually react this strongly when I change your clothes, my mate.”

It wasn’t exactly a question but I knew he was trying to decide what had changed.

Ugh.

“I had a random thought about you that was really sexy. Human brains can jump from one topic to another and land on something erotic really fast.” My explanation had Jerker nodding.

“Yes, human brains are fascinating.” Giving the bulge he was studying a pat that just made the situation worse, he made a thoughtful hum. “There has been some research on how often human males think about erotic activities, but I am not convinced enough studies have been done to provide accuracy.”

How would they study that?

Worried about the answer to that question, I tried distracting him with more caresses. “I was thinking about you.”

Jerker gave my dick one more pat before walking to the closet. “What were your thoughts?”

Hmm.

Yep, that conversation was better than him deciding that he needed to track my sexual thoughts.

“I wasn’t really thinking when you started taking off my clothes and the first thing that came to my head was that you were going to take me out on a naked date. I know there’s not logic to that, but it was just a random thought that jumped into my head and then I kind of liked the idea.” Oh, that sounded dangerous. “Just in a fantasy sense, though. Like playing with the idea but not doing it.”

There was a split-second of him processing the idea where I thought I’d fucked up royally, but he slowly nodded. “Yes, human fantasy scenarios can be different from what they would do in public.”

Glad we were both on the same page, I wasn’t paying enough attention to what he was doing and was incredibly happy to see regular pants in his hands when he turned around. They were some nicer black pants that I’d owned for a while and were a little big on me, but they were so normal I was glad I didn’t have to explain what was proper to wear for a date.

No, our conversation started when he frowned and quickly started taking off the briefs he’d picked out earlier.

“What are you doing?” It seemed like a reasonable question but when his expression shifted toward thoughtful, I wasn’t sure if it’d been logical.

“There are many ways a human male can be decorated for dates.” He paused his explanation as he laid me back on the bed and started dressing me in the pants. “I am doing what is called experimenting.”

Okay.

Made sense.

What didn’t was the way he was playing with my dick as he trailed his tentacles deliberately up my body. I knew it was on purpose because of how pleased he looked when my dick jumped around begging for more attention. “Yes, good boy, my Theo.”

That didn’t help my reaction.

He just puffed up with pride and made a happy sound as he slipped my dick inside the pants before securing them. “Yes, this is very attractive.”

Oh.

It shouldn’t have taken me that long to figure out what we were doing but it snapped into place by the time that he was standing me up and analyzing the front of my pants. “You are a very good specimen of humanity, my Theo.”

That seemed to be his way of telling me I was cute, so I nodded as I answered without thinking. “Thank you, Master.”

Wait.

As he shifted around my erection, thankfully to make it slightly more subtle, my brain finally came back to life. He wanted to show off his specimen of humanity. Me. And my dick. I had to admit that my dick liked the idea but my brain was trying to point out the problems with this plan without getting distracted by fantasies.

“Human modesty laws make decisions difficult.” Shifting my erection around through my clothes, he made a thinking sound before heading over to my dresser.

Nothing about the situation seemed to be up to me, which honestly made it even more erotic, so I shrugged and just watched the sexy chaos unfold.

What was he going to do?

What did I want him to do?

Where had he been getting dating advice?