Chapter Five

“Learning to guard the perimeter of the packlands was amazing.” Merida lay back on her pallet with her hands behind her head. She’d never looked so happy.

Remy fussed with the covers of his own pallet, appreciating how thoughtful the Strongbloods had been in giving them a new home. The tiny room was a bit cramped with his sister’s large body in it, but he supposed it was intended to be temporary. Soon, he would be breeding and denning with his mate, while Merida would bunk in with the other unmated gammas. It was a daunting thought because they had never lived apart. And because whenever Remy tried to picture his future, all he could see was himself with Dane. The beta had been pretty clear that he wasn’t going to stay with the pack.

He sat cross-legged and hugged his knees. “Do you think he’ll stay and service me through my heat?”

Merida didn’t even pretend not to know what he was talking about. “I doubt it.” Her tone was gently, yet her words cut through him like a knife.

“Why not? If I want him, can’t I have him?”

“You know that’s not how things work. It’s up to the alpha to decide who your mate will be.”

“But…but Ethan and Wyatt said Graydon would let me choose. He’s modern in that way.” It was hard to believe that the Strongblood alpha was anything other than like his birth one. The very sight of the man made Remy want to shrink away. Except Dane said his alpha brother could be trusted to be just and that was good enough for Remy.

Merida rolled into a sitting position. “He’s a good alpha, I’ll give you that. If he weren’t, I’d have you out of here. But he can’t afford to let an omega be bred by any kind of shifter unless he has control over him. Graydon expects you to stay in the pack for the rest of your life, and that’s what’s best for you and your pups, anyway. Dane is an honorable shifter, but he’s determined to continue to live feral. You need the sire of your pups to be someone always by your side.”

Remy swiped at the useless tears that slid down his cheeks. He’d never been good at holding back his feelings and lately that had been particularly so. “He’s the one I want.” His wolf whined and in the now-familiar and comforting response, Dane’s chuffed to calm him.

Merida cast her gaze downward. “I know and I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, although I wish you’d told me before the full truth about what I am. It’s…scary.”

His sister left her pallet to join him. She wrapped him in her arms. “I’m sorry about that, too. I wanted to explain things to you, but first the old alpha had forbidden it, and then I simply didn’t know how to do it. I told myself that keeping you alive and safe was good enough until we re-settled in another pack.”

Remy snuggled into the warm embrace, taking comfort as he always had in his sister’s love and strength. “It’s okay. You’ve always done what’s best for me. I love you.” Such words weren’t spoken often by shifters, at least not where they’d come from. “I’m so glad we’re here and that you’ve found your place at last.”

Merida squeezed him. “I love you, too, Remy. Nothing is more important to me than you. If you’re unhappy here, we’ll run. We’ve done it before and can do it again.”

“No. That’s okay.”

Remy didn’t want to leave. He wasn’t sure it would do any good. From what he’d been told by the other omegas, he would be trying to run from his destiny and that seemed like a dumb thing to do. Besides, Merida was truly happy now that her gamma nature had been accepted. She’d sacrificed so much for him, putting herself in danger, taking the brunt of any punishment he’d earned by being too slow or saying the wrong thing. He’d always been a burden to her. This was his chance to do something for her.

“I want to stay. Everyone is so nice here. How can I be anything other than happy.” And so long as he was with the Strongbloods, there was at least a chance that Dane would service him through his heat…and maybe if the Gods listened to wishes, he’d have even more.

****

Remy jerked awake with a pounding heart as a wail pierced the quiet of the longhouse. He sat up and peered through the dark to where Merida lay. Another cry of utter anguish caused him to hug himself and shudder. The strike of a flint was followed by the flare of light from the oil lamp. Merida held it aloft and turned toward their door as the crying dropped to a muffled sound of grief.

Remy looked at his sister. “What’s happening?”

Merida stood. “Stay here.”

Remy always tried to be an obedient servient, but it only took a few seconds before he jumped to his feet and followed Merida out of the room. He just couldn’t stay by himself. Not only did he feel compelled to find the source of pain and give whatever comfort he might, he also needed reassurance from someone other than his sister. Dane. Where is Dane?

It didn’t take more than a couple of steps for his plea to be answered. Out of the gloom strode the beta. His expression was grim. With a quick hand signal, he stopped Merida from going any farther. He passed her, however, and went to Remy.

Dane cupped the back of Remy’s neck and drew him close. “It’s all right.”

Despite the soothing touch and tone, Remy knew that was a lie. “No, it’s not. What’s happening?” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he tried to shrink away. It wasn’t his place to gainsay a dominant.

Far from being angry, Dane pulled him closer and wrapped him in the warm embrace of his big arms. “It’s Wyatt. He’s lost his pup.”

“Oh!” Remy’s eyes filled with tears at the horrible news. He let them fall unchecked and snuggled closer into Dane. “That’s horrible.” He pictured the other omega as he’d seen him last, laughing by his mate, seemingly in perfect health and his slightly rounded belly on full display. “Why did it happen?”

Dane sighed. “The healer said there is no way of knowing, that these things are usually only understood by the Gods. The good thing is that Wyatt himself isn’t in any danger. The pupped passed without…hurting him.”

When the beta said no more, Remy was tempted to ask more questions, such as what could have happened to Wyatt? It hadn’t occurred to him yet that breeding could be dangerous. He searched his memory and couldn’t remember anything like this happening in his old pack. Of course, much of what occurred in private stayed that way. His old alpha didn’t like anyone to show pain or grief. It irritated him. He insisted on every pack member being strong, as well as, obedient. But as he thought of it, there had been a breeding sigma that suddenly died. No one had explained why and because sickness and accidents were common, he’d never thought to press Merida on what had happened.

Remy sniffed sharply to inhale Dane’s comforting scent. “I’m scared.” He hadn’t planned on revealing how he felt. The words just came out and his wolf punctuated them with a mournful howl. Dane’s wolf responded immediately and with their bodies this close, he could swear that he felt the sound as well as heard it.

Dane’s embrace tightened. “I know.” He didn’t admonish Remy that his fear was foolish or unfounded. “You need to go back into your room and try to sleep. Wyatt and Kael’s grief is theirs alone right now. We’ll mourn with them later.”

Remy let the beta shuffle him back to his pallet, keeping a tight hold on him. When Dane tried to let go, however, Remy balked.

“No, stay with me! Please.” He couldn’t help digging his fingers into the man’s waist to keep them together.

Dane sighed. “Remy…”

Merida entered the room with the lamp. “Please do stay with him, Beta. He’s frightened and needs your comfort more than mine. I’ll find a pallet elsewhere.”

Remy closed his eyes and waited for the agonizing seconds it took for Dane to respond.

“Very well. Take the lamp. You’re not familiar enough with the longhouse to go without it.”

Merida said nothing more. Her footsteps faded and with them, the light. Remy didn’t care if he could see or not. He held onto Dane and complied with gratitude as the beta urged him to lie down once more on the pallet. Even as he was repositioned onto his side, facing away from Dane, he clutched at the man’s arms to keep him from separating them.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I need you to hold me. Is that okay?”

“Of course it is.” The beta’s voice was rough. “I’m here for you. Try to get some more sleep. Wyatt is going to need his friends, as well as his mate, to help him through this.”

The words warmed him. “Do you think he sees me as his friend already?”

“Certainly. Omegas share a special bond with each other.” Dane went silent for a while. “But I don’t want you to worry that his fate is yours.”

“How can I not? He was fine when I last saw him and now, he’s not. I’ve only just learned about how I’m going to breed like a female. It’s too much to know that it can also go wrong.” The tears came again. He didn’t try to stop them, understanding that it was okay to show his feelings to this man.

“Shh. You must let go of the worry, hard as that is. You need sleep and while I can’t promise that nothing bad will happen to you when it’s your time to breed, I can promise that for right now, I’m here to keep you safe from everything else.”

The beta’s words had the right effect. Remy relaxed and so did his wolf. It was on the tip of his tongue to blurt out how he wanted Dane to be his pups’ sire. But he held back the urge, as he’d learned to do. Dominants didn’t like impudent little servients demanding things of them. Dane seemed different but still… Then Remy felt something hard press against his bottom. That itch inside him flared.

Dane gave a muffled grunt. “Don’t pay any attention to that. I’m not as in control of myself as I should be.”

Despite the misery of the moment, Remy couldn’t help but smile. “You…want me?” He knew what happened when a dominant was aroused. He’d seen it often enough. The funny thing was, his own little dick thickened. “I want you too. I think.” His body’s response was both alarming and exciting. He wasn’t sure what it all meant for him, but he knew what he wanted. He managed to move Dane’s hand from where it sat loosely across his waist down to the hardness now sticking up.

Dane didn’t resist very much. Instead, he clasped Remy’s hard cock in a loose grip. “This is a natural response to having a dominant touching you so close to your heat.” He paused and breathed out a heavy breath. “Have you ever given yourself pleasure?”

Remy reveled in Dane’s light touch and even dared to buck his hips once. “No. I was taught to touch it only so much as necessary to pass water. It’s dirty,” he added because the sentiment had been delivered along with a cuff from his old alpha.

Dane tightened his grip in a way that sent a shudder through Remy. “It’s nothing of the sort. It is a natural pleasure that we all have the right to enjoy.”

Remy couldn’t stop from wiggled his ass and hips. “Will you show me?” He held his breath, not sure how he’d dared to make such a request. All of the old rules for how to conduct himself were falling away under Dane’s presence.

At first, the beta made no response. Then, instead of admonishing Remy for his insolence, the beta began to move his fist up and down Remy’s shaft. The grip was delightfully snug without being uncomfortable and the movements were slow, yet still managed to arouse a strong reaction. Remy’s breath quickened and came out in increasingly panting puffs of air. His balls twinged and his dick swelled inside Dane’s grip within moments. He cried out and dug his nails into Dane’s arm as his whole body lit up with intense pleasure. The power of it caught him by surprise. He’d expected something muted, like the feel of a warm bath. Instead, it was as if he’d been tossed in the air and was falling back down with a rush that left him breathless. He shuddered and moaned in Dane’s embrace and when it was over, he lay limp.

Tiredness stole over him, but as he started to drift off, he remembered that hard length pressed against his ass. “Your turn.” He words slurred but he mustered some energy in an effort to turn around and do to Dane what had just been done to him.

Dane held him in place. “No. Go to sleep, Remy.”

“But...”

“No.”

The firmness of the beta’s tone kept Remy from trying to roll over. His need to obey coupled with overwhelming sleepiness sent him under. As he drifted off, however, he smiled with a happiness he’d never dreamed of.

****

It had been many seasons since Dane had attended a shifter funeral. It was both heartbreaking and uplifting the way the entire pack, other than the sentries, gathered around the sadly small pyre laid out in the clearing used for such matters. No one, not even the pups, made any noise. All gazes were fixed on Kael as he carried his mate to lay the tiny, white bundle onto the stick platform that the sigmas had built that afternoon. The night was cold, so everyone was dressed to one degree or another to ward off the chilly air. Wyatt was barely visible, wrapped as he was in furs. Even so, his trembling hands were easy to see as he put the body of his pup onto the pyre. A sob escaped the boy as he did so.

Dane tightened his grip around Remy’s shoulders. The poor boy had been terribly upset all day after a fitful night’s sleep. Dane had done his best to comfort him, lying with the boy in his arms, bringing him food when he couldn’t face leaving the room, and listening to him voice his fears. His efforts had seemed meager to him, but Remy had indicated otherwise. So, Dane had put his priority on keeping the boy company over mourning with his family. He’d made only a short visit to join the others as they sat with Wyatt and Kael. The room had been heavy with grief, even the alpha letting his show. It was the best sign yet of how Graydon was different from their sire. That old bastard had never shown any sadness over another’s loss and hadn’t tolerated others bothering him with their own.

Graydon handed Kael a burning torch. The beta used it to light the pyre, then stood back with his mate still clutched in his arms. The fire caught quickly and as the flames engulfed the tiny bundle, all who were capable of shifting did so with their heads only. They lifted their muzzles into the air and howled out their grief. The young pups imitated their elders using their human voices, as did the couple who had raised Wyatt as their own son. The presence of the humans was unsettling, but only to him, it seemed. And Remy, of course. The Strongbloods had been exposed to these people many times Graydon had said. That the alpha tolerated the presence of non-pack members, and humans no less, was remarkable. If he’d needed any further proof that his brother was a different sort of alpha, this was it.

As the howls died down, one-by-one, everyone shifted back. The young pups were hustled quietly away, back to the warmth of the longhouse. Dane briefly considered doing the same with Remy. The omega would have undoubtedly obeyed if he’d pressed the point, but that would be treating him as if he weren’t the mature shifter that he was. Although there was a pup-like quality to the boy, he was no longer a youth. Soon his adulthood would be undeniable. The mere thought of Remy entering into his heat set a flare of arousal through him. That reaction was totally inappropriate given the circumstances, though he knew many of the adult shifters, mated or not, would seek such comfort this night. Mounting was a life-affirming need after dealing with death.

When the pyre was nothing more than embers, everyone remaining turned away. Kael carried his mate back to the longhouse, but Wyatt stopped him as they started to pass them.

The grieving father turned his moist eyes to Remy. “Will you please come visit me tomorrow?”

A shudder ran through Remy. “Yes, of course, if you want me.”

“I do and thank you.” Wyatt turned to press his face into his mate’s chest.

The moment the pair was past, Remy did the same with Dane and let out a muffled sob. There was nothing else to do except enfold him into his embrace and hold him tightly. He didn’t bother with giving words of comfort because he knew none that might help. Instead, he gave the boy his physical strength and did his best to make him feel safe. Over the top of the omega’s head, Dane saw Graydon doing the same for his mate. Ethan had been clearly distraught. Not surprising given that he’d recently whelped. Plus, Dane knew that the alpha-mate had experienced trouble in his own breeding. This sudden loss must hit especially close to home.

Graydon caught Dane’s gaze and with a brief jerk of his chin commanded Dane to look after Remy. At least, that’s what Dane read in his brother’s expression. Maybe it was what he wanted to see. If the alpha ordered him to care for the boy, then his own wants couldn’t be held to account. But only a coward would use such an excuse. He wanted Remy and the shy boy had been bold enough to voice his own desires. While he remained convinced that Conan was the right choice as a mate for the boy, it didn’t mean he couldn’t snatch a little pleasure for them both before the boy needed to be bred. He simply had to be careful not to pressure Remy by word or deed. I must resist. It’s not right for me to exploit the omega’s curiosity.

He nudged Remy toward the longhouse. “Come, you need to retire.”

“I’m not really tired. I am hungry, though. Is that a bad thing to want to eat after all of this?”

“Of course not. Your need for food is natural. I…I’ll bring you some after I settle you in your room.”

Dane grabbed a lantern once inside. He could find his way around no matter how dark. Remy hadn’t had a chance to learn the way through the many corridors of the longhouse well, however, and he didn’t want the boy to be unnerved by not seeing where he was going. Once they arrived in the room, he gently placed Remy onto the pallet, taking a small amount of pleasure in how the omega clung to him briefly before allowing himself to be separated.

Dane placed the lantern on the low cubby. “I’ll get some food.”

Remy looked up with wide eyes. “You won’t be long, will you? And you’ll stay the night?”

Dane’s cock hardened at the question and the knowledge that he would do just that. Good thing he hadn’t yet stripped off his outdoor clothing. His dick had intruded into Remy’s space too much already, and he wanted to take things slowly with the boy. “Yes.” He bent down to cup the back of Remy’s neck. “Take off your clothes so you don’t overheat. I’ll be quick.”

Remy closed his eyes briefly and nodded. “Yes, Beta.”

The boy’s biddableness appealed to Dane’s dominant nature. He’d tried not to wield his power over other shifters more than necessary. It was too easy to get caught up in it and abuse it. He’d seen that often enough. Right at the moment, however, he was glad to have been born in such a position. It meant that he could use his ability to control in order to serve and protect Remy. He let go reluctantly and strode from the room, eager to return with sustenance for his…mate. No, that was not right, not what he was doing at all. Remy was a temporary responsibility, nothing more.

He was so lost in his thoughts about the omega, he nearly ran into his mother outside of the kitchen. The area was bathed in light because there was always some type of food preparation going on. A large pack needed constant feeding.

Dane pulled up short. “I’m sorry. I was just looking to get something for Remy. Not surprisingly, he’s hungry.”

Celia held up a basket filled with bread, cheese, strips of dried meat and dried fruit. “I thought as much. I was bringing this to him. And you,” she added with a shy smile.

Dane relieved his mother of her burden. “Thank you. It was kind of you to think of him.” He dropped his gaze. “I know today has been hard on you.” Even though she wasn’t Wyatt’s mother, Celia’s grief had been obvious.

His mother clasped her hands in front of her. “Yes. That poor boy. He’s lucky to have such a loving mate. Kael is lending him his strength even through his own grief. It’s a good thing in a mated pair.”

Something in Celia’s tone jogged a distant memory. “You lost a pup, too, didn’t you?”

Celia nodded. “Many, actually. Your sire was very angry.”

Dane could well imagine his fucker of a sire blaming his mate for something she couldn’t control. “I don’t remember any funeral pyres for them.” He racked his brain but could only remember the one loss and he’d been too young to even shift.

Celia moved to hug herself. “That’s because he only honored the one that was stillborn. The others I lost early, as Wyatt did. He simply had one of his gammas toss them into the woods.”

Dane’s wolf howled in outrage before he could calm it down. He didn’t want his fury to upset Remy. And while his heart ached with new understanding of what his mother had endured, he didn’t want to add to her heartache by voicing his fervent wish to be able to tear his sire’s throat out.

So he merely put his hand lightly on her shoulder. “I’m so very sorry for leaving you here with him.”

Celia clasped his hand with hers. “No, you must never feel guilty about that. Graydon saved me—saved us all—as was his alpha duty. I was glad that you got away and even gladder to have you back.” She hesitated before adding, “I hope I will see more of you.” Her gaze skittered away.

Guilt swamped him. But his view of his situation was no different than when he thought about Remy with this. He squeezed gently before dropping his hand. “I promise to visit as often as I can.”

Celia nodded once before turning back toward the kitchen. “Take care of the omega. He needs you right now.”

Dane felt an urge to go after her. As there was nothing more he could say in the way of reassurance, he stifled the impulse and returned quickly to Remy. The omega had done as told and stripped down to his skin. He glowed with exquisite beauty in the lamp light. The sight of him made Dane’s breath catch and for a few moments, he could only stand and stare. He had to shake himself to move.

Kneeling in front of Remy, he placed the basket on the floor. “My mother beat me to it. She made this for you.”

Remy peered at the food. “I think she made it for the both of us. As hungry as I am, this is too much for just me.”

“Eat your fill. What you don’t consume will keep overnight in case you need it before breakfast is served.”

Dane stepped back despite the urge to feed the boy with his own hands. Instead, he stripped off his own clothing, realizing when it was too late that his cock remained hard. It bobbed with its liberation, a testament to how little control he had over himself these days. He thought to leave to tend to his need but didn’t want to upset Remy. So with some resignation and a lot of trepidation, he joined Remy on the pallet with as much distance as he could put between them. The omega had proven to be far more accepting and surprisingly curious about what transpired in the breeding process. Dane had hoped the boy would be reticent, and therefore, an effective check on Dane’s desires. The previous night had demonstrated how unlikely that was to be. Still, the funeral might have dampened Remy’s interest.

As he chewed a big mouthful, Remy’s gaze homed right onto Dane’s dick. The boy’s cheeks pinked up and he swallowed hard. “Is that because of me?”

Dane sighed. “Yes.”

“May I…touch it?”

Dane nearly came with that unexpected question. He opened his mouth intending to give an emphatic “no” and perhaps an admonishment that good omegas didn’t ask such questions or act so bold. That was how he should react, he knew. He simply couldn’t say those words. His desire for the boy was hard to keep at bay, especially when his interest was reciprocated.

“Yes.”

Remy scooted closer, the sweet scent of his omega arousal punching Dane right in the gut. He had to bite back a groan. The boy’s touch was slow and tentative, a mere wisp of his fingertips skittering along Dane’s shaft. It was nearly enough to make him come, so Dane fisted his dick at its base to cut off the orgasm.

Remy stilled his touch. “Why are you doing that?”

Dane strained to get his labored breath under control. “We dominants are simple creatures. Your caress will make me come if I don’t choke it off.”

Remy clasped Dane’s cock lightly, and he swiped his thumb across the underside of the cockhead. “Would that be a bad thing?”

Dane could only bark out a laugh. His wolf pranced and yipped at the notion. Remy’s wolf responded with shy encouragement. “It’s not proper.” He couldn’t believe his own ears. Of all the times for him to fall back on shifter customs. “You should only be sharing this with your mate.”

Remy’s reply was to get even closer and to tighten his grip. He lay his free hand on Dane’s fist, not quite trying to dislodge him, but Dane could tell the omega wanted to. “You did this for me earlier. How is it different now?”

Dane’s grip was starting to loosen of its own accord. “That was for comfort. It’s my duty to care for you however you need it.”

“Well, I need this now. Please.” Remy’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Dane could no longer fight his wolf, himself and the omega. He released his dick and came nearly instantly. Remy jerked his shaft with endearingly clumsy movements. Dane’s orgasm was so powerful, he had to grip the pallet and grit his teeth to keep from shouting out his pleasure. His wolf had no such restraint. It howled with unrestrained joy.

When the last of the shudders stopped, Dane realized he’d closed his eyes. He opened them now and gasped in horror. Remy was taking a tentative lick of Dane’s cum.

“Stop that!” Dane lunged to grab the boy’s hand and yanking the cloth out of the basket, wiped away the evidence of his lack of control.

Remy whimpered and his wolf whined. “I’m sorry.” The distress in his tone cut like a knife.

Cursing himself for his aggressive reaction, Dane pulled the omega into his arms and cupped the back of the boy’s neck. He massaged it gently as he murmured words of reassurance. “I’m the one who is sorry. You did nothing wrong. I’m just…traditional, I guess. More than I thought I was. I fear I’m allowing too many liberties. Your mate will not be happy about it.”

Remy sniffled. “I…I don’t mind risking a beating for this. You make me feel so wonderful.”

Pushing the boy away from his chest, Dane gave him a hard look. “No one will ever again lay a hand on you in anger. This I promise you.”

Remy looked at him with watery eyes. “Not even my mate?”

“No one.” Dane wanted to emphasize his declaration by hugging the boy some more, but that wasn’t going to help with the very thing he worried about.

Reluctantly, he maneuvered the omega until he lay on his back. The boy’s erection was impossible to ignore. Despite the words he’d just spoken, Dane convinced himself that the best way to calm Remy down and get him to sleep was to tend to his needs.

“I want to do something that you’ll like. I really shouldn’t but I can’t leave you in such a state.”

“Please, Beta. Do whatever you want to me.”

Such trust. It humbled Dane. Before he could talk himself out of it, he straddled the omega’s lower legs and dipped his head down to suck that lovely little cock into his mouth. It was easy to swallow the slender shaft down to its root. Working his throat muscles, he brought Remy to a climax within seconds. The omega stiffened and cried out. Dane rode the orgasm to its finish before reluctantly pulling his mouth off the dick.

Dane sat back on his heels, trying to think of something appropriate to say. Then he stopped. The omega was fast asleep. Dane slid down beside the boy to gather him into his arms. His embrace would make it easier for the omega to sleep well. Or so he told himself. It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the entire truth, either.

He wanted Remy more than life itself. It was going to be impossible to hand him over to another. Except that he had to, for the omega’s sake. He needed to do what was right no matter the cost to himself.