Chapter 3

Sadie

Chester, Vermont

“ M ason,” I called, standing at the center display table inside the quaint little bookstore where I worked. “Do you think this space is enough, or should I put the new releases closer to the front of the store?” I gestured to the round wooden table we salvaged at a garage sale last weekend. Now, the table was covered with books I expected would sell quickly in our small town.

Mason looked up, adjusting his thick, blue-rimmed glasses. He walked over to where I stood and ran a hand through his wavy silver hair. After looking things over, he said, “No, this is perfect.” His smile was broad and full of pride. “This is exactly why I hired you, Tess. You always know the best way to set up the book displays. It was such a mess a year ago. ”

I anxiously twirled the hem of my rose-pink shirt, recalling the circumstances of my arrival that day. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t forget the night I arrived at Mason’s bookstore.

“Has it been a year already?” I asked.

“One year this month.”

While the details of that day were still perfectly memorized and tucked somewhere in the back of my mind, it was as if I had lost all sense of time. It seemed like it had happened both yesterday and eons ago. But Mason’s mentioning it brought everything back in stark detail.

I remember how painstakingly slow the taxi driver drove through Main Street in Chester, Vermont. A thick layer of snow already covered the streets, and my driver feared getting stuck. I had a black duffel bag in my lap, which held a thick envelope of cash I had stolen from my father’s safe. The bastard trusted me too much, using my birthday month and year as the code to open it. That was just one of the many mistakes he made and one of the times he had underestimated me.

His little girl got the jump on him, I had thought wildly as I fled from my family’s mansion and headed to the train station. It was only two weeks after the trial had ended. Before I testified, the police kept me under twenty-four-hour surveillance to ensure my safety, as they knew who Keelan’s family was. But after that, I had no one. They got the testimony to put away at least one of them, and I was no longer their priority. My father had plans to pass me off to one of Keelan’s older brothers within days, so I had to escape.

“Hey, right here’s fine. It’s probably safer for your car. You don’t wanna have to drive down that road and get stuck,” I’d said. “The motel is right up the street, anyway. ”

The man nodded and pulled over in front of a bookstore and a clothing boutique. I handed him two twenties and hopped out of the cab, slinging the duffel bag across my back. The snow quickly soaked my hair when I stepped out of the car, and I knew the red dye would drip if I didn’t find a place to wait it out. It was so cold that November night, and I started shivering almost immediately. I glanced around, and given that it was eight-thirty at night, I saw that most of the small shops were closed for the day. Except for Mason’s bookstore, Hughes’s Book Nook, its sign displayed on the sidewalk. I chuckled a little at the sign because it read: “Slay Your Book Ennui, Pick up To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.”

I pulled open the door and was met with warmth, the smell of paper, glue, and coffee wafting into the open air. The door chimed at my entrance, and a man with peach-toned skin and bright silver hair looked up from behind the counter, his eyes on mine. “Hey, welcome. Come on in!” he said cheerfully. “That snow is coming down pretty hard, isn’t it?”

“I’m not used to this,” I stammered, then realized I probably shouldn’t mention that I lived in California previously. “I used to live in Arizona.”

No one can know who you are.

“If you don’t mind, maybe I can hang out here until this slows down a bit before I get to the Sapphire Motel,” I said, but my voice once again stammered as nerves hit my gut. “I saw that it’s a bit more of a walk than I thought.”

Mason frowned. The fear in my eyes and the hesitation in my voice made it obvious I was a woman in trouble. But as he walked around the counter and toward me, he smiled warmly and held out his hand. “Well, welcome to my store. I’m Mason Hughes, the owner. Please stay for a bit while the storm passes, Miss …?”

“Uh, Tess. Tess Larson.”

The expression in Mason’s eyes was somber, and he hesitantly smiled. He probably knew I was lying, refraining from asking any questions. I was grateful for that.

For the next hour, we chatted about our favorite books until the snowfall stopped. He insisted on driving me to the motel, where he gave me his phone number and told me to come to the store the following day.

Over the next few weeks, Mason helped me move into a second property in a secluded part of the Vermont forest just outside town. He let me pay the discounted rent in cash and offered me a full-time job at his store. Of course, I couldn’t turn down an opportunity like that.

Over time, Mason and I developed a very close friendship. He had a daughter who lived in Illinois, but they had become estranged, so it felt like he had replaced the loss of her with me. I did the same. My father was such an asshole, and I felt like Mason and I were supposed to meet to heal the broken part of our hearts stamped with “Family.”

“Tess,” Mason said, jarring me out of the memories. “You’re daydreaming again. What’s going on? Everything okay?”

I quickly smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. “Of course, I’m just excited we got a shipment of L.M. Lewis’s new release. Thank you for considering it.”

“How could I not? The sales have picked up over the last twelve months because of your recommendations. You’ve done such a phenomenal job here, and your opinion is valuable.” As he spoke, the wind outside picked up, rattling the windows. Mason’s brows furrowed, concerned. “The storm isn’t supposed to hit until Wednesday, but yesterday’s temperature dropped so fast. I may consider closing the shop for a few days until it passes and the roads are clear.”

“They’re saying it’ll be that bad?” I asked, watching his warm brown eyes meet mine again.

He answered with a nod.

“I guess I can get caught up on some reading,” I said, picking up L.M. Lewis’s new book, The Shadow Hunter. “This one.”

I reached into my pocket, pulled my wallet out, and headed to the register.

“Absolutely not,” Mason said, quickly rushing over and shutting the register drawer. “Stop trying to pay for books from my store, Tess. You know your money isn’t good here.”

I wrinkled my nose and laughed. “Fine, but I’m bringing you coffee in the morning,” I said, grabbing a plastic bag from under the counter and placing the book inside. “See you tomorrow.”

I pulled into the driveway just after sundown and climbed out, seeing Brian Danon, the guy I had been dating on and off over the last eight months, waiting on the porch steps.

I wasn’t expecting him tonight.

This wasn’t the first time he’d shown up unannounced. It had taken me a while to agree on a first date eight months ago. I wasn’t even remotely ready then, but he was persistent. One thing he loved to do, though, was show up without notice. I had been running into him occasionally on Main Street and exchanging hellos at the local coffee shop before he had asked me out on a date. To say I was terrified would be an understatement. I knew I wasn’t ready. But I wanted to move on, and so I agreed.

The date was at a small wine bar two blocks from the bookshop. Over appetizers and a couple of glasses of Malbec, we discussed our hobbies and what we liked and disliked.

Small talk.

The wine must have eased my fear because Brian and I chatted for three hours. At the end of the date, Brian asked for a second date, and my wine-fueled bravery said yes. Since then, we’ve had a casual, physical relationship. It was my way of seeing where things could go without the labels.

The only frustrating part was that we only got to see each other once a week, mainly on weekends when he wasn’t in the office or traveling for work. It was better that way, though. Given my past, I wasn’tready to commit. I had too many secrets I needed to keep hidden for his safety … and mine.

Brian was a contract lawyer for several large investment firms on the East Coast. While he lived in Vermont, he often had to travel to New York, Boston, and New Haven to meet high-profile clients. Occasionally, I would spend a weekend at his apartment, but he stayed at my house most of the time.

When I stepped out of my car, a few flurries hit my forehead. I moved around his charcoal gray BMW before making eye contact with him. The wind whipped at his usually nicely combed, dirty blond hair, leaving it mussed. The automatic porch lights cast an orange glow on the front entryway .

“Hey,” I said, walking up the front stairs to the house. “I thought you were in meetings all week and couldn’t leave the city.”

Brian stood and smiled at me, his six-foot-two stature leaning down to kiss my lips softly before pulling back. “After hearing about the storm coming through this area, I was concerned about you. I didn’t want you to be alone.”

I smiled subtly at the thoughtful gesture, though I wished he had called first.

A distant rustle of leaves rolled in behind us. “Come on. Let’s get inside before we get covered in this snow,” he said, holding his hand out for me to take.

Once inside, I felt the heater’s warmth over my chilly skin and let out a contented sigh.

Quietly, I watched him remove his loafers and hang his coat on the rack. Then I went over to the fireplace and placed the book, still wrapped in the plastic bag, on the bookcase Mason helped me build last fall. Since I started working at the store, I amassed quite a collection.

I need to read that J.D. Linton novel before adding another book to the pile.

“Why are you so quiet, Tess?” Brian asked, his blue eyes looking worried. Since Mason mentioned my arrival a year ago, my mind replayed those memories for the rest of my shift. Suddenly, a prickling sensation crawled up my neck and into my scalp—an eerie feeling I couldn’t shake off. The damn storm was making me jumpy.

Only one person knows I’m here, and they swore to secrecy.

“What do you mean?” I asked, wrapping my arms around my waist as I glanced out the window at the dark sky .

“Well, I don’t know. Maybe the fact that I haven’t seen you in a week, and you’re acting like I’m a stranger.”

With an apologetic shrug, I motioned toward the window. “Come on, Brian. This is only my second winter out here. I’m not prepared for a storm rolling in. If the roads are icy, I won’t be able to drive to buy groceries after work.” I turned from the window to meet his gaze. “Trust me, I’ll crash.”

While the storm made me uneasy, it wasn’t the only reason. But I wasn’t going to tell Brian that. The weight of my life was mine to bear. Alone.

He smiled and walked over to me, taking my hand. “It’s only supposed to last for a day. You’ll be fine.”

“Yeah, but the winds are supposed to be near blizzard levels. It could knock over my fence or snap the trees.” Alright, so maybe I was exaggerating a little. “I might get blown away.”

Brian’s charming smile lit up again, making my stomach flutter, and I bit my bottom lip slightly.

“Tell ya what?” he said. “I don’t have any meetings tomorrow. How about I stay here, work from home, and stock up the fridge while you’re at work?”

“Really?” I asked, arching a brow. He was just full of surprises today. “You’re always in meetings. What changed?”

“Some contracts need to be reviewed, so I’m clear for two weeks while that happens,” Brian said, wrapping his arms around me from behind. “I’ll adjust a few meetings so I can stay put. Just text me a list; you’ll have a fully stocked fridge and pantry waiting. I’ll even get your fireplace going so you come home to a warm, crackling fire.” He leaned down, kissing me softly again. “And bed. ”

I grinned against his lips. “I love the sound of that, but why wait on the warm bed?”

Right then, the lights in the living room flickered as the wind took up a keening howl outside. I was thankful I made it home in time and wasn’t alone, but there was still something ominous in the air.

“Maybe I can take you up on that bed offer now,” I said, looking over my shoulder into Brian’s deep-blue eyes. He smiled, took my hand, and led me upstairs.

While Brian pulled off his button-down shirt, I couldn’t help but look at the giant oak tree outside my bedroom window. I watched the branches sway under the moonlight. The atmosphere was shifting even though the worst of the storm wouldn’t arrive until tomorrow night. I couldn’t see any of the lights from the neighbors or the street—only the faint glow of the moon through broken clouds filled the room.

The house was in the perfect location for me. Contrary to the chaos and pollution of Los Angeles, Chester provided the serenity that my soul craved. I thrived in the seclusion of the forest and the untainted night sky, where I could see the stars. My favorite thing in the world out here was to sit on my rocking chair on the porch. I would read a thriller novel or watch the stars fall across the sky once the sun had set—wishing I had been born into this life instead.

A life free from lies, blood, torment, and betrayal. One that didn’t force me to run.

Brian slowly wrapped his hands around me from behind again and squeezed me against his bare chest. The heat radiating from his body embraced me like a blanket. “Why aren’t you undressed yet?” he murmured in my ear, his lips lingering against my neck. Goosebumps rolled over my skin at the teasing touch of his lips.

I turned slowly and placed my hand against the center of his chiseled stomach. “Because I want you to undress me.”

There was a creak at the door, and my cat, Poe, walked into the bedroom. He greeted us with a purr before sauntering over to the bed and rubbing his tuxedo body against the blue comforter. Satisfied, he went to his window perch and curled up for a nap.

“Sorry,” I said with a soft chuckle. “I can grab some allergy meds for you.”

Brian let out a dry laugh. “I already took two before I got here,” he replied, his hand moving to the hem of my shirt. In one swift motion, he pulled it over my head and flung it across the room. “Tess,” he whispered against my skin as he drew me closer, his eyes full of worship as he looked down and cupped my chin with his fingers. His gaze continued to roam over my body, drinking in the sight of me.

At that moment, when his eyes looked back into mine, I could see a subtle shift on his face. It was barely noticeable but undeniably there. I’d become good at spotting details, even with the dim moonlight coming through the window.

I swallowed. “What’s wrong?”

I watched his Adam’s apple bob before he said, “Nothing. It’s just … you’re beautiful, Tess.” He moved even closer, pressing his lips against my forehead. “So damn beautiful.”

Discomfort roiled in my stomach. It wasn’t the first time Brian said those words, making me feel ashamed. Brian calling me Tess was a lie. Tess was a character I had to play, a falsehood to present to a guy whom I was dating .

He has no idea who I truly am.

Brian wasn’t saying these things to me . He was telling them to a lie made of flesh. He would never know that I was Sadie Ryan from Los Angeles, with blonde hair and bright green eyes—the woman who carried such a dark past that he would run screaming from the house and never return.

If Brian knew the real me, my family would track him down and flay his skin from his bones.

The man in my arms knew me only as Tess Larson, a redheaded cocktail server from Tucson, Arizona, with sparkling blue eyes, courtesy of the colored contacts I wore daily.

As Brian’s large hand pressed against my bare stomach, it pushed away my guilty thoughts. He walked me back until my ass hit the bed, then he slowly lowered me to the mattress and climbed on top, straddling me with his knees.

He unhooked my back strap and stripped my bra free from my body. Lowering his lips to my nipple, he took it into his mouth, swirling his tongue over the nub. I moaned and tilted my head back as I felt his finger trace the tattoos between my breasts and my stomach.

The permanent reminder of him and the chaotic, painful life I once had. Sometimes, I wished I could scrub this ink off me to forget entirely. But I couldn’t. Not even now.

“God, Tess, you’re perfect,” Brian said as his lips touched the constellation tattoo that started above my navel. He reached into a pocket, pulled out a condom, and held it between his teeth. Then he slid down his pants, ripped off the wrapper, and took it out, moving it over his cock in one roll .

Brian’s fingers clutched my underwear, sliding it down my smooth legs before he positioned himself against my already wet and heated core. With one smooth motion, he entered me. There was no foreplay or anything to help me accommodate his girth as he slammed himself to the hilt.

I winced at the sharp burn. It had been almost two weeks since we last fucked, and I wasn’t ready for his intrusion. Brian’s chest met mine, holding me down on the mattress.

A small gasp escaped my lips at the feeling of his cock filling me up. It felt good, but I wanted more. I wanted more of him. I wanted him to take me rougher, to silence the continuous chaos in my mind.

As his lips crashed into mine, I wrapped my legs around his waist and moved with him. It was more difficult to reach my orgasm with Brian, no matter how hard he tried to get me there. It was as if our bodies knew each other well enough by now, but something was missing. I felt we weren’t entirely in sync.

“Oh, God, Brian,” I mumbled against his mouth, desperate for more. “Harder … please. Fuck me harder,” I cried out. My body was aching for release, and I wanted to ride that pleasure on his cock. I reached for his wrist and pulled his hand to my throat, hoping he’d understand.

But he didn’t.

He never did.

Brian lifted his hand and gently glided his finger down between my breasts instead, against my moon phase tattoo. Though it felt so good with him moving inside me, all I wanted was a bit of pain—just a little—enough to help me get there. He continued to thrust, beckoning me closer, but I knew it wouldn’t be enough .

For once, I wanted him to let go, to give into the more primal side of him I hoped was buried beneath his usually perfectly polished self.

Just remind him what you want . Clearly, he wasn’t picking up on my hints. Maybe I’d have to be more forward.

I reached out and placed his hand on my throat again, tipping my head back to expose more of the delicate skin there. I licked my lips, my eyes pleading with him.

“You won’t break me, Brian,” I told him softly, my words melting with breathy grunts as he continued to thrust. “Squeeze your fingers around my throat … please. It won’t be enough to hurt me.” I pointed to the places on each side that would be safe, figuring some guidance may help him feel more secure. “Right here. Please. I just want … more of you.”

We were panting by now, and I could tell he was close as his cock pulsated inside me. Brian’s head tipped lower, and his mouth lingered against the corner of my lips. “I’ve told you before. I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered, increasing the pace of his thrusts. This time, he didn’t pull his hand back, which was an improvement.

“You won’t,” I said. “I promise.”

He gave me a slight nod before he clutched my throat and rammed himself back inside.

“Oh, fuck!” I cried out right as my breath escaped me.

He may never do some of the wilder things I fantasized about, but this could be enough. I could get used to this.

“Fuck … fuck.” The pleasant tingle had overcome me, making it hard to think as my eyes rolled back into my skull. Fuck, this was good. So damn good. I could feel my body climbing to the peak … but then Brian let go of my throat and leaned down, kissing me where he squeezed, as if he thought he had hurt me and his tender kisses would heal the wounds. His body tensed on top of mine, and I knew he was almost there, but maybe there was still a chance for me, too.

“Brian, please, do—” My words cut off as he groaned, his cock pulsing hard inside of me, and my sensation fell away into nothing.

Fuck.

I tightened my legs around him, anyway, and let out an exhausted breath. My chance was now definitely gone.

“Shit. I’m sorry,” he said into my ear, showering my skin with soft kisses. Though I didn’t mind them, I wished he’d sometimes give me a little more than vanilla. “I’ve told you a hundred times before. I just … don’t want to hurt you. In any way. I worry I’ll squeeze you too hard, and you won’t be able to let me know.”

That’s valid.

I nodded against his neck, ignoring the disappointment that flooded me. “It’s fine,” I said, catching my breath as he rolled off me and stripped off the condom, tossing it into a trash can beside my bed. I thought about finishing the task myself, but honestly, I was too tired now to care.

“I gotta use the bathroom,” I said. “Give me a minute.”

“I have to get up, too. There’s something in my briefcase I need to bring up.”

Smirking, I thought about that burgundy briefcase he always carried. I made a joke once that only lawyers on TV had those. He laughed, saying it gave him the advantage in meetings because of its disarming presence .

I closed the bathroom door and switched on the lights. Looking in the mirror, I felt even more like a stranger. I turned on the water and grabbed my rose-gold electric toothbrush.

All this acting could get me an Oscar , I thought bitterly as I brushed my teeth.

The wind still howled outside, and I felt the house shudder with its force. The chaotic energy was making me feel out of control. What would I do if I had to escape again? How would I explain that to Brian? What if I—?

Stop it! Breathe. I spat out the minty foam and rinsed my mouth clean. I leaned against the counter, drawing deep breaths until my body abandoned its panicked state. But my eyes went to one of the star tattoos on my stomach, and I ran a finger down the ink.

“Sadie, try not to move,” he said to me. “We’re almost done.”

The face I can’t seem to forget. I desperately wanted to forget him so I could live without fear. Even his name scared me.

“This hurts,” I said. “But I’ll try to stay still.”

His tattoo gun moved against my skin, and I looked down. I suggested something related to the stars and the planets. I never intended to get a tattoo, but his artistic piece of constellations below a trail of moon phases suited me perfectly.

“Done,” he said after forty-five minutes. I looked down, and my breath caught. It was a masterpiece.

“Thank you,” I said. “It’s beautiful.”

I blinked away the memory, staring again at my reflection. I had to go back to the bedroom. Brian couldn’t see me like this.

Afraid .

I opened the door and found Brian in his boxers, sitting at the edge of the bed. He had turned on the lamp on the nightstand and was holding something in his lap.

“What do you have there?” I asked playfully, walking to bed and sat down next to him. Brian grinned sheepishly and held up a small white box with a pink bow. The box bore the stamp “CHARMED.” My hands shook a little as I took the box. “Brian, what is this?”

“Happy birthday, Tess,” he said, kissing my cheek.

“Birthday?” As I tilted my head to the right, Brian’s face creased in a slight frown.

“Uh, yeah. November fifteenth, right?” he said, shifting on the mattress. “Fuck, did I miss it?”

I should have put it on my calendar app.

I offered an apologetic smile. “Oh, no. Sorry. Today was such a busy day that I completely spaced the date.”

“I get it.” He smiled. “Well, don’t just stare. Open it.”

Nodding, I pulled the bow off the box and opened the lid.

The gasp that escaped my lips was soft and breathless.

Inside was a silver bracelet with a tiny charm resting on the black velvet lining. I lifted the bracelet and turned it in the low light of the lamp.

This was the first time he had given me a gift like this. Was this too soon? Or was this his way of saying he wanted to make our relationship more serious, something I could never give him?

“Brian, it’s gorgeous,” I said, my chest sinking into unease. This was too intimate. I felt my cheeks heat. “You didn’t have to get me this. ”

“You deserve it,” he said, taking the bracelet and fastening the clasp on my right wrist. I held it up, running a fingertip over the charm.

“It’s a book,” I whispered.

“To commemorate your work anniversary at Hughes’s. That’s this week, too.”

He remembers everything today.

“Thank you,” I said, leaning in and giving him a soft kiss on the cheek.

“You’re welcome,” Brian answered with a charming grin that reached his eyes. “Now that we’ve warmed up this bed, let’s actually get some sleep.” He winked. “I have to be up early to get your storm supplies once the store opens.”

We turned off the lights, and Brian quickly drifted off to sleep. I watched him as he slept. Brian was so handsome, well-spoken, and kind. He had his life sorted out, and even though I didn’t get to see him as often as I’d like, we aligned in our values. He could give me the life I wanted once I was ready … when I was ready.

However, the passion was missing where I needed it the most.

After setting my alarm, I pulled the blanket to my shoulder and turned to face Brian. As if he could sense my presence, his hand extended toward me, wrapping around my frame and drawing me closer. I basked in his warmth, still observing his features.

He was so beautiful as he slept. Peaceful even, as if his dreams offered a perfect escape from the world. It was something I wish I had.

My dreams were nothing like Brian’s. Mine were haunting images as I quailed in fear at the faces looking back at me. My dreams were of running from my family and the life I never asked to be a part of.

Running from him ...

Keelan Blake.