Chapter Eight

Rocky

Rocky seated himself beside Aiden, took one of Aiden's hands in his and opened his mouth. Nothing came out. Clearing his throat, Rocky tried again with the same results. He was terrified, it seemed. He was scared that Aiden would reject him but knowing that the only way he'd get a yes was to ask the question, Rocky steeled his nerves, opened his mouth once more and said, "I'd like to be your Daddy." When Aiden simply gaped at him in shock, Rocky added, "If you'll have me."

"You're," Aiden cleared his own throat and it made Rocky feel slightly better to know he wasn't the only nervous one. "You're serious?" Aiden finally asked.

"I am," Rocky confirmed, "Taking care of you last night and this morning has been amazing. I'm scared and will likely be a tough Daddy to have. I'll be over-protective, possessive, and demanding. But I'll also be caring, loving, indulgent and will offer all of my time that I possibly can. I'll be communicative and you'll always know where you stand and learning who you are and what you need will always be incredibly important to me. I'll work my hardest to be the best Daddy for you that I can be."

Once again, Aiden just stared at him so Rocky added, "We can start on a trial basis if you need. I know it's a lot. But I'd be incredibly honored if you'd give me a chance to prove I can be what you need."

Aiden shook his head and Rocky's heart fell to his feet. Aiden didn't want him. But then Aiden spoke, "I don't think I need a trial. Nothing sounds better to me than being your Middle. I just don't know if I can be what you need. I'm not ready to announce who I am to everyone, and I don't think it's fair to ask you to hide our relationship. I have a hard time expressing myself and a hard time speaking up. I'm also weird and unlovable. You deserve someone you can love and who can express how much they love you."

Rocky felt his hackles rising. Who'd convinced this sweet boy he was unlovable? Rocky wanted to find that person and make them pay for hurting his boy but right now, he needed to help Aiden get a few things straight.

"You are not weird, and I won't have you calling yourself names. Even if you don't accept me as your Daddy, I better not ever hear you putting yourself down again. Do you understand me?"

Aiden's eyes were wide as if he'd never had a stern Daddy voice directed at him before. Part of Rocky hoped that was true, or even that Aiden had never had a Daddy at all. Rocky wanted to be Aiden's first.

"Y-yes, Sir." Aiden replied, once his shock wore off enough to answer.

"Good boy." Rocky wanted Aiden to know he appreciated each and every time that he showed obedience. He hadn't always made sure with Seth and when Seth had died, Rocky had regretted not praising him more. It wasn't that Rocky had never praised Seth, but Rocky hadn't thought, in hindsight, that he'd said it as much as Seth deserved. He wouldn't find himself having that regret again if he could help it. "Now, let's address some of the other things you said."

Aiden

Aiden waited with bated breath. He still didn't believe he wasn't weird, but it was nice to know Rocky didn't think he was. Aiden wanted to have Rocky as a Daddy more than anything. He had wanted it for a long time. Aiden had spent years trying to find a Daddy of his own, but each and every time he met one, they hadn't measured up. Maybe he'd never been able to find anyone for him because all he'd wanted and all he'd dreamed about was the man before him. The one that was offering to make his dreams come true.

Aiden hoped with everything in him that Rocky would tell him that everything he'd said didn't matter to him. He tried hard not to get his hopes up too high, but it was impossible not to. He'd never been everything anyone wanted before, and his quirks had run off more than a few people.

"The world doesn't need to know what's between you and me. It isn't their business. If and when you are ready and want to tell them, we can. I'm not someone that needs to shout it to the world, though. I'd like to one day be able to tell everyone because, if we do this, I won't be in it just for a good time. I'm all in. That means, one day, I'll want you to be my husband as well as my lover and Little boy. That's a ways away, though, so the need to keep quiet for now doesn't bother me."

Aiden listened. He heard the words, but he found them hard to believe. He'd once been loud and proud about being gay, but life had beat him down over it and the last four years of his life he'd buried that side of himself, only letting it out when he'd taken rare trips out of town. He'd heard on more than one occasion that he needed to stop hiding, that he needed to grow some balls and just tell people. He'd been told on multiple occasions, by potential partners, that they wouldn't be with someone who was ashamed of who they were. It was hard to fathom that Rocky was accepting of his need for silence.

"I've known you for a while," Rocky continued, "I know your quirks and the difficulties that you have. If any of this bothered me, we wouldn't be having this conversation. I don't want you to hide who you are or try to change yourself. I want you , Aiden. Not just your body, not just the perfect parts of you. I want every part of you. What the world sees as your imperfections, I just see as part of who you are, and I like who you are. I like who you are very much."

Okay, he was definitely dreaming. Aiden felt the need to wake up before he opened his eyes and this all disappeared, because if it went much further and he woke from this dream, it would shatter his heart into pieces as miniscule as sand. With his burning need to escape heartache in mind, Aiden reached down to his thigh, just under where the hem of Rocky's t-shirt fell, and pinched himself hard.

"Ouchie."

Rocky jumped into action and grabbed his hand, inspecting and rubbing the spot on his thigh with his other hand. "Why would you hurt yourself like that, baby? That's not okay. I won't let anyone hurt you," Rocky looked into Aiden's eyes and Aiden could feel the burning conviction radiating from Rocky's gaze deep in his soul. "Not even you. You understand me?"

"I…" Aiden's breath hitched and he feared he might cry, but he pressed on, "I just needed to wake up. I needed to wake up from this dream. It's too perfect and waking up later would be too much." His breath hitched again, and a tear trailed down his cheek. Aiden let out one sob, then two. He took a deep breath, muttered, "I just need to wake up," one more time before finally releasing some of the hurt and despair he'd been carrying for so long.

Rocky gathered him up, settling Aiden on his lap and rocking him as he cried. "It's not a dream, baby. It's not. I'm so sorry you've been through so much that you'd think it had to be." Rocky rubbed a hand up and down Aiden's back as Aiden sobbed into Rocky's chest. "It's okay, baby. Let it out. Daddy's here."

It took a while before the tears finally slowed, but when they did, Rocky didn't let Aiden go. He continued rocking him and murmuring to him for a few minutes. Eventually, the words stopped, but Rocky continued cradling Aiden in his lap until finally, Aiden said into Rocky's chest, "if you really don't have a problem with anything I said, I can't think of anything I'd like more than for you to be my Daddy."

The rocking stopped immediately and Rocky put a knuckle under Aiden's chin, lifting his face up until he was looking directly into Rocky's eyes.

"Are you sure, baby boy? You need to be certain, because if you give yourself to me, there's no going back. I said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm all in."

Aiden didn't have to think about his answer. He wasn't worried about himself wanting out of this dynamic. He was only worried that one day Rocky would realize Aiden wasn't everything he needed. When that happened, Aiden's heart would never recover. One thing sounded clearly in his brain, however. He'd rather shatter when everything fell apart than never know what it was like to have Rocky's attention and affection.

"I'm certain....Daddy." Rocky gasped and Aiden marveled at how right giving Rocky the honorific felt. Rocky would probably need more one day, but in the meantime, Aiden was going to soak up every bit of his time with Rocky and enjoy every minute.