Chapter 3

3

Alana

Bold move.

Before I came into this room, Estelle gave me a crash course in age play.

I’m scarred forever after listening to some of those words come out of her mouth, but I digress. She made it sound like a nasty bit of business. A man scratching an itch, a woman earning something shiny out of the deal. But I can’t imagine it being like that with Gavin.

For one, he’s had an attack of morality and is ready to call the whole thing off to protect my virtue. That’s not something a man without honor would do, is it? And two…his sexual frustration is breeding something identical in me. I want to slake his thirst. I feel responsible for it. Like I was maneuvered here by fate tonight with a purpose.

God, that sounds insane, but I don’t want him to leave this room without kissing me. Or touching me. A hot prickle started under my skin the moment I opened the door and saw him, in all his tall, dark, scholarly splendor. He’s in suit pants and a white shirt, the sleeves cuffed around his elbows. His dark, wavy hair is a little long on top, as if he’s been too busy reading books and walking along the edges of misty cliffs to get it cut. He smells sharply of bergamot and smoky cedar and as soon as I was within three feet of him, I wanted to bury my nose in his neck and fill my lungs with it.

I decided when I was nine that boys were stupid.

This isn’t a boy, though. This is a man. A really sexy, conflicted one…and I am drawn in a way that I truly expected to go my whole life without experiencing. I thought it might happen for Ripley, but I’ve always been too sarcastic and sensible to consider getting swept away.

When I drop my robe and watch his handsome features tighten with pain, when I see that gigantic ridge pushing at the front of his pants, I am already in serious danger of being swept. It has to be why I say it. Words that would have made me giggle an hour ago.

“Please don’t go…Daddy.” I unfasten my bra and let it fall away, forgotten. “I’ll be a good girl, I promise.”

I’m not giggling at the way those very bad, very forbidden phrases make me feel. Those words on my lips turn me into a different version of myself. I’m not Alana, the goofy girl who always has a camera attached to her neck, I’m Alana, Gavin’s little girl, and according to the madam of this establishment, he wants to fuck me on my hands and knees.

The thought of it makes my tummy feel fluttery.

Makes me want to bite my lip and turn my foot in, shyly, awkwardly, because I think he’d like it. And I want to be lusted after by this man. I want him to use me for his male purposes. The way he said “little girl” is still echoing in my head, shimmering with a touch more sensuality every time. Is it possible…I won’t just enjoy being compensated for tonight? That I’ll actually love giving this man what he came for?

Because as much as I’ve been distracted by Gavin’s voice, scent, face, body…I do need the money for tuition. There’s no way I can let him leave unsatisfied, or I’ll be stuck in Julian when the semester begins next week.

“Alana,” he says finally, adjusting the heavy-looking bulge in his pants. “You don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t be doing this.”

“I want to.” Going on instinct, I slide my fingertips into the triangle of my green lace panties, just barely allowing the pad of my middle digit to tuck into my lips. My God, I’m so wet here. Wetter than is considered normal, surely? “Don’t go. I want you.”

His jaw is slack, nostrils flaring as he watches where my hidden fingers dip into my sex. “Fuck. I can hear how slick it is.”

Oh good, all this dampness is normal. Or at least he seems to like it. I’ve tried masturbating a few times, mostly at Ripley’s stern insistence, but I could never reach that great height of pleasure everyone is always going on and on about. “Do you want to touch?”

He makes a hoarse, withering sound that communicates what an understatement I’ve made. “I want to do more than touch. I want to eat it, fuck you, and eat it again.”

A hot shiver wracks me, tightening my nipples like screws, raising sensitivity bumps on my skin and forcing me to clench my back teeth. I think if Gavin had been watching me the few times I’ve tried giving myself pleasure, I would have achieved an orgasm pretty darn easily. Right now, though, I don’t want to do it myself. I want him to do it for me. And God, I want him to utilize my body to give himself that almighty relief. Want to watch his expressions change, want to feel his weight press me down, his teeth rake my naked skin.

Gavin still seems conflicted so I hook my fingers in the sides of my panties. Before I’ve even shucked them down my legs, he makes a broken, surrendering sound and unzips his pants, sliding his long-fingered hand through the sagging opening and into the waistband of his black briefs. The muscles of his forearm shift, his fist repeatedly punching against the cotton, and I realize he’s stroking himself. Looking at my virgin flesh while he does it.

“God help me, I’ll never be able to pull out of that pretty little thing,” he groans, coming toward me a few steps. “Look how precious it is. It’ll overflow with my first spurt.”

My knees grow so weak under a rush of…definitely lust, though I’ve never experienced it until tonight, that I drop onto the edge of the bed, my hands curling in the comforter. “Gavin…”

He stops right in front of me, his pumping hand and manhood still hidden in his briefs, the jerks of his fist stopping a scant inch from my mouth. Like he has one more barrier up and he’s asking me to eliminate it. “What is it, princess?”

“Can I see it?” I ask, my cheeks heating. “I’ve n-never seen one before.”

His barrier crumbles. “Hell, here I come,” he grits out. “At least I get to pay a visit to heaven first.”

I’m not sure what I said to make it happen, except make that embarrassing admission, but a change seems to come over Gavin. His demeanor hardens, reminding me of the time I got sent to the principal’s office my sophomore year of high school and sensed a kind of excitement from the man on the other side of the desk. Like he took some kind of pleasure in issuing me detention, having me at his mercy. Gavin is in control here, too. But unlike that day in the principal’s office, I’m excited as well. Because Gavin’s lust is cut with adoration. For me. There might be a mean set to his jaw, but his worshipful eyes inspire trust.

“Last chance to leave,” he says gruffly, leaving his oversized shaft pressed to the front of his briefs while he strips off his shirt. The move messes up his dark hair and ohmygod he is stupid gorgeous. He’s not like the muscle-bound gym guys I see on Instagram. Not at all. His muscles are long, lean and defined, like a swimmer or a rower. His stomach is deliciously ridged and tight as a drum. There’s a forest of dark hair on his chest and a trail leading down past his belly button, promising to turn even thicker inside his briefs. “Alana,” he prompts me, placing a knee on the edge of the bed, a hand on my jaw. “If you stay, you’re my little girl from here on out. I don’t think I can fuck you any other way. Not when you’re my fantasy come to life.”

A buzzing current races in my belly. “I don’t want to leave,” I whisper. With my fate sealed, I scoot back farther onto the bed, a naked feast for his eyes. That’s what he turns me into as he follows, prowling toward me on the bed, those strong shoulders flexing in the dim light, his eyes hot as they scour my body.

“Lay down,” he instructs me roughly, dropping his head to plant a kiss on my belly button, then higher between my breasts. By the time he reaches my throat, licking, settling his lips on top of mine, I’m panting. I’ve followed his directions without even realizing it, too, my back flat on the mattress, pulsations fluttering in places they never have before. Between my legs, deep in my womb, my nipples. “You’re so beautiful,” he rasps against my lips, angling his body half on top of mine, rubbing his erection against my hip. “Do you feel that, Alana? You made it need to go inside of you. We don’t have a choice.”

Pressure gathers at the juncture of my thighs and I dig my toes into the bed, trying to combat the twisting, achy feeling that keeps increasing. “Is it going to hurt?”

“Yes.” He skims a fingertip over the peaks of my breasts, making me whimper. “But your Daddy is going to hold you through the pain.”

I don’t have a chance to react or respond before Gavin’s lips part over mine, sipping at me with a slanted kiss. His chest shudders and my mouth parts in response, as if my body has already attuned to his needs. Learned to anticipate them. The heavy bulge at my hip grows thicker when our tongues touch and slither together. Our groans unite and turn into shallow breaths, but we don’t try to keep pace with those breaths. Gavin’s kiss is not fast or desperate, it’s almost nurturing. My mind tries to make sense of why I like his almost parental tutelage of my mouth, but my body is way ahead of me, muscles squeezing and releasing, more and more heat pooling between my thighs.

Gavin’s fingertips are still dragging over my nipples and the answering pull in my lower body becomes so insistent, I have to break the kiss, sucking in drags of air.

“Do you like me playing with your tits, Alana?”

Biting my lip, I examine the pleasure/pain and answer honestly. “I-I think so.”

Watchful heat flares in his eyes and I’m beginning to understand more about Gavin’s fantasy. Estelle had it all wrong. He doesn’t want to take me on hands and knees. Or pull my hair. Not tonight, anyway. He wants to introduce me to sex. It’s an X-rated version of having The Talk about birds and bees. That’s what he needs and by some twist of fate, I actually require The Talk. My parents never gave it to me and I’ve kind of lied to Ripley, claiming I know all about sex. Truth is, though, I haven’t even bothered to Google it since I’ve always found the opposite sex so boring.

“You think so?”

I bite my lip and nod.

His palm closes around my left breast, molding it gently. “Do you like when I kiss you?”

“Yes,” I breathe.

Gavin nods, his mouth curving slightly. He surveys my body as if it’s a puzzle he’s trying to solve. “I think I need to kiss your tits to be sure you like me playing with them.”

Even imagining it makes me dizzy. “Is that…something people do?”

“If you like it, Alana, it can be something I do. All the time.” He lowers his mouth to my breast, squeezing the globe in his grip so my nipple distends even more. His breath feathers the sensitive bud and my hips writhe on the bed. “We can play just like this, whenever we want. Just you and Daddy.” His erection pulses against my hip, stark hunger displayed on his handsome face. “Nod your head if you like playing.”

My nod is immediate.

He groans.

I don’t feel like myself anymore.

Somehow I’ve been transported to a different time and place. Where we’re different versions of the same people and what we’re doing is wrong. But we can’t help it. Gavin’s desire has become mine and instinct is ruling me now, giving us what we both want. I gather up all of my shyness and put it on display for him, turning myself on in the process.

“I like playing,” I whisper.

I witness lust expanding Gavin’s pupils, just before he dips his head, closing his hot mouth around my nipple. He sucks lightly, laving the tight peak with his tongue, and my knee—the one he isn’t pinning down—jerks up automatically. It’s as though a landline runs between my nipple and my sex—and he just placed a long-distance call.

“Daddy,” comes my whimper.

Gavin tears his mouth away from my breast, breathing heavily. “Fuck, little girl, your nipples taste like fresh picked cherries.” He rocks against my hip, gritting his teeth. “Give me a minute or I’m going to come in my goddamn pants.”

Ruled by instinct, I put my bottom lip out. “What does that mean?”

He buries his face in my neck. “Jesus. Christ.” It takes him a moment to gather himself, turning his face and pressing hot, open-mouthed kisses beneath my ear. “You feel how big you made my cock, don’t you, Alana?”

“Yes.”

“Well it can’t stay that way.” His voice vibrates with hunger. Frustration. “It hurts when you make it so hard.”

I wrinkle my nose. “How do I make it hard?”

“Ah, princess. Everything you do makes it hard. Putting it inside you is the only cure.” Gavin levers himself directly above me, caging my body in with his flexing arms. He positions his knees inside my thighs, widening them in one precise move. With my legs jerked open, the petals of my flesh unfold, moisture escaping to travel wetly down the crack of my bottom. I’m exposed and gasping and I can do nothing about it, because the man looming over me is calling the shots—and I want him to.

I need him to.

“Daddy.” Shyness packed into my movements, I shift on the bed and try to close my thighs, knowing I won’t be able to. “I-I’m not wearing any panties.”

“Oh, I’m well aware. That’s one of the things that makes my dick hard.” Slowly, he lowers his lap to the cradle of my hips, the steel ridge of his shaft pressing tight to my bare, drenched sex, nothing but the layer of his briefs between us. “Knowing how close we are.”

I resist the urge to yank his hips closer, my body demanding friction. More contact. Anything. “How close we are to what?”

“Daddy fucking his princess,” he grinds out, beginning to hump me in earnest, the cords of his neck straining. “You’re going to be so sweet for me, aren’t you? You’re going to let me do what I’ve been dreaming about for so long.”

“You dream about me?”

“Christ, yes, Alana,” he growls, nipping at my neck. “Very naughty dreams.”

My expression is dubious. “I thought it was bad to be naughty.”

“It’s okay as long as you’re with me.” His mouth captures mine, ensnaring me in a wet, passionate kiss. “It’s only good to be naughty with me. Very good.”

With an excited gasp, I wrap my legs around his hips. “Do I get a reward?”

Sweat is forming on Gavin’s brows, his eyes nearly black with arousal. “Yes. I’ll buy you whatever you want if we can play as often as I need. But someday, my come is going to be your favorite reward. You’ll seek me out for it, princess, and I’ll always have it waiting.” He trails the fingers of his left hand down the center of my body, breaching the lips of my sex with his middle finger. “My fucking God, you’re a beautiful, perfect mess.”

The reverence in his voice, the lust and awe, has me dropping my knees open, working my hips beneath his own. His erection pushes down heavily right on top of my bundle of nerves, rocking gently, as if we both know it’s bad, but nothing can stop us now.

“Daddy,” I sob, arching my back, tempting him. “Let me cure you.”

By the time I finish making my request, Gavin is a man on the verge of madness. There’s a continuous rumble of need coming from his chest as he shoves down his briefs, fisting his shaft between us. My mouth falls open at the sight of it, slightly purple, engorged and dripping a milky substance onto my belly. “Fuck it.” He drags the tip of his rigid arousal up and back, over my entrance. “I’m riding it bare. I can’t stop.”

“Don’t stop,” I urge breathlessly, sliding my palms up his pecs and resting them on his shoulders, clinging. “I need you.”

“I haven’t even fingered you,” he says raggedly, nudging the damp opening of my sex, attempting to work his hard flesh inside. “Haven’t even licked your pussy.”

“I don’t care,” I whimper, sliding my hands down his back and clawing at his hips. I’m consumed by need for something I don’t understand. Something I have no experience with. But this man and I are connected by something intangible, as well as earth-shattering physical chemistry, and I can’t survive any more delays before feeling him. All of him. “Daddy. I want my reward now!”

With a strangled roar, Gavin thrusts inside of me. Partially, at least. It takes several demanding tweaks of his hips to seat him fully—and all I can do is gasp for air with every new, thick inch as pain invades my limbs, my tummy. Oh, oh, I don’t know what’s happening. Am I in misery or is this ecstasy? It hurts and it teases pleasure at the same time. My thighs tremble and more wetness rushes to where our bodies join. Even though there’s a pinching pressure, I can’t help but sink my fingers into his lower back and pull him tighter.

Gavin hisses a breath through his teeth. “Jesus fucking Christ, it’s so wet and tight. Don’t fucking move or I’m going to spill.”

“I can’t stop,” I respond choppily, my knees pulling up on autopilot, toward my shoulders, sinking his hugeness impossibly deeper. “I can’t stay still. I c-can’t. The pressure. Please.”

“I felt your cherry pop, Alana,” Gavin says hoarsely, his weight slowly pushing me down, his panting lips ghosting over mine. “You need time.”

Even as he says it, his hips are beginning to pump.

“Goddammit,” he shouts into my neck. “Tell me to slow down.”

“No,” I gasp.

There’s no help for the sexual gravity between us.

It’s like we’re being compelled.

“I need you, Daddy,” I whisper, teasing his sides with my inner thighs. “Take me.”

Something comes over him. A momentary stillness. One of his hands lifts and wraps around my throat. “My little girl,” he rasps, squeezing. “Mine.”

My expression is a mixture of innocence, understanding and budding desire. For this man. This forbidden man he’s representing. “Yes.”

Eyes locked on each other, Gavin starts fucking me. It begins with testing drives, the pendulum of his balls lightly rebounding off my backside. But within seconds, he’s bucking against me, his body straining, the bed springs squeaking beneath us. The frenzy that takes him over is what Estelle tried to warn me about, I think. He loses his humanity, his face contorting in mask of pain, gentleness deserting him.

With his full weight on top of me, Gavin jerks up my knees and drapes them over his shoulders, his hips lifting and slapping back down, his sex stiffening and elongating even more inside of me, reaching places that roll my eyes back in my head, create a coiling burden deep in my womb. “This is only for your Daddy,” he chants. “This is only for your Daddy.”

“Yes.” Oh God, what is that spot he’s touching? It’s like a magical pressure point sending signals to that nub hidden in my folds and—my hips buck. “Oh!” He’s let go of my throat and now he’s touching it. He’s touching that pearl of confusing sensations that I could never seem to figure out. His thumb is stroking it roughly and now is when I usually stop because the onslaught of bliss becomes too much. But Gavin only bears down harder, his thumb giving firm, unrelenting friction. “I-i-it’s too much. It’s too much! What’s going to happen?”

Gavin’s lust-sharpened eyes dawn with understanding that this has never happened to me before. That I’ve never gotten this far. His shock is replaced by determination and something sweet, at the same time. Affection softens his mouth as he plants them on top of mine, kissing me slowly, coaxingly. “I’m here now, princess. You can let go. Milk my big cock with your first orgasm.” He quickens the strum of his thumb on my clit, his full-to-bursting manhood stroking into me deeply, so deeply, I can’t think, only feel. “You can do it, little girl. You can do this for Daddy and make me so proud.”

The scream that builds inside of me isn’t just audible, it’s a clenching of muscles and tissue. It’s the incredible, final tightening inside of me that suddenly lets loose, bringing a barrage of pleasure so wild I have to fight it. I struggle beneath Gavin, but he captures my wrists and holds me down, groaning brokenly into my hair as I thrash, the orgasm that has eluded me for so long ripping me apart. My inner walls constrict around Gavin’s thick flesh and it starts to spasm, Gavin bellowing a curse into my neck, his hips smacking into mine with violent thrusts, an abundance of liquid heat firing from his body into mine, leaking out and coursing down my thighs and buttocks, but still he pumps, smashing the headboard against the wall, again and again, his groans turning hoarse until finally he collapses on top of me.

I’m not sure how long we lay there, my thighs slung over his shoulders, our labored breaths filling the room. Maybe two minutes has passed when Gavin eases my legs back down, letting them fall to the bed on either side of his hips. He lifts his eyes to mine and they’re full of disbelief, full of something deeper than affection.

Something closer to obsession, though I’ve never seen it up close.

My fingertips tremble in the presence of it. My heart misses a beat.

My little girl. Mine.

“I going to need a lot longer than a fucking hour with you, Alana,” he says, his voice rife with intensity. “A lot longer. Do you understand me?” He leans down and traces my nipple with the tip of his tongue and it buds, as if on command. “We’re going to have a discussion, you and me. If I can manage to keep my cock out of you for five minutes.”

Hypnotized in the face of such possession, all I can do is nod. “Okay.”

Gavin sits up, his reluctance obvious. He stands and pulls his pants up. Pants that never made it down past his knees, situating his still semi-hard erection back into his briefs. “I’m going to pay for another few hours. Do not move from this bed.”

I sit up, still disoriented from my climax. “Why don’t we just go somewhere else to talk?”

Gavin raises an eyebrow. “Where? A coffee shop?” His gaze falls to my leaking sex. “So help me God, Alana, I’ll end up fucking you over the display case.”

Gulp. “Oh.”

His amusement makes my own lips jump, but the twinkle in his eyes quickly turns to concern. He comes toward the bed, reaching out to cup my cheek. “Are you okay?” His thumb brushes the bow of my lips. “I’ll never forgive myself if I’ve hurt you.”

Something tightens in my chest. “It was perfect,” I whisper.

A line moves in his cheek. “Utterly.” His hand drops and he backs away. “Don’t. Move.”

When she door closes behind him a moment later, I throw myself back into the pillow and gape at the ceiling. Oh my God. What just happened? I think…I think I might have serious feelings for this man I’ve only known for an hour. This man who took my virginity.

At the reminder, I toss back the covers to find a bright spot of red blood on the white sheet, the size of a rose petal. My hands fly up to cover my smiling mouth. What does Gavin want to talk to me about? Does he want to be my boyfriend? I don’t even know his last name.

No, all I know about him is his secret.

A trickle of desire warms me and I get up to clean myself off. As soon as my feet touch the ground, there’s a knock on the door. Assuming it’s Gavin and he accidentally locked the door, I go to open it a crack, finding Ripley instead.

Her face is streaked with black mascara tears and she’s clutching the blue robe around her trembling body. “I have to go,” she whispers brokenly. “I have to get out of here. Now.”

Concern obliterates any of my lingering desire. “Oh my God, Rip. What happened?”

“I’ll tell you later, just…please drive me home.” She casts a nervous glance down the hallway. “Now?”

Best friend code dictates I don’t hesitate. Ripley is not the pleading type, so I know this is serious. “Of course.” I jump into action, gathering my robe off the floor and belting it around my waist. When I exit into the hallway, I expect us to detour to the changing room so we can grab our clothes, but Ripley is already heading toward the emergency exit. “Wait,” I call in a stage whisper. “I need my car keys.”

She dangles them over her shoulder without slowing down.

For a brief few seconds, I hesitate on the threshold of the emergency exit door leading to the parking lot. I look back at the dim brothel and beg Gavin to appear, so I can explain. So I can give him my phone number. But he doesn’t—and I run out of time, concern for my best friend pulling me into the crisp, fall air.

You’ll find a way to get his information.

And I try. I really do. Unfortunately, Estelle won’t cough up any of his details due to client confidentiality, and my searches online have little to go on. A week later, when the payment has been transferred into my bank account and I leave for art school, I’ve lost all hope of ever seeing Gavin again, though memories of his touch continue to wake me up in the middle of the night, sweat coating my body, his name on my lips.

If it wasn’t for the money, I would think it was all a dream.

Little do I know that on the first day of classes, that theory will be thoroughly shattered.