CHAPTER SIX

Arrow saw Mercy storming up to him and he knew he had angered her. He had come back from a hunt with two other warriors and they carried fish and rabbits in their packs. The others he was with snickered and muttered things about him being female whipped and in big trouble, but Arrow ignored them.

Something had happened with Talise and Tarlo. He rushed up to her. "What is wrong? What happened?"

"You need to tell your children about their mother?"

"Where are Talise and Tarlo?"

"They are in your lodge eating. They are fine. You need to tell them about their mother. They have a right to know."

"That is what this is all about?"

"Everyone has a right to know where they came from."

Arrow pushed past her, embarrassed now from his friends' comments and jeers. He was not going to stand here and let her berate him for something that was clearly none of her concern.

"Aren't you going to talk to me?"

"No."

"No?"

He turned on her so fast that he even surprised himself. "My past is none of your business. Their mother is none of your business. They have no mother. That is all they need to know."

Mercy looked at him as if he had slapped her, and he immediately regretted his words. He watched her as she stormed off. He had no idea where she was going. He should go after her. She could run into danger. But what would he say? He caused this. He had not meant to snap. Memories of Elina came flooding back. He tried to squeeze them out of his mind. It had been nearly five winters since she had left. It still hurt. Not that he loved her. He often doubted that he had ever loved her. It was because of Talise and Tarlo. They even looked exactly like their mother; an everyday reminder of her and her betrayal. What kind of mother leaves her children? What kind of man chooses a life partner who would leave her children?

"If you want her, go after her."

Arrow turned to see his mother standing beside him. She had obviously heard the whole thing. "I do not know what to even say. She is right. I am a bad father."

"You are a father who has tried. Life is complicated, and it has not been easy. No one ever said life would be easy."

He nodded, knowing she was right. She was always right. He wished Mercy would come to like his mother. His sister, he no doubt guessed she would never like--even he did not, but his mother. That would be nice to have Mercy like her.

"What would I even say? I took her, Mother, and I brought her here against her will to take care of my children."

Ray of the Sun shook her head. "That was not a good thing to do but it is already done. What did you see in her to decide to take her? Why her?"

He shrugged. "She was organized. She was friendly to her customers. She was helpful and a hard worker." He thought of the time he had seen her with one of the white man's children. She had given them something sweet. Something she had baked. Their eyes had lit up and so did hers. Arrow had asked a couple of traders that he trusted about her. They had said she was alone, that she lost not only her husband but a child. He had assumed she would want to replace her lost child with Talise and Tarlo. He had witnessed her being good to them, and it had warmed his heart. He saw a potential in her, someone that could be a better mother to his children than their own birth mother had. Even today when she was so angry with him, he knew it was because she wanted him to take better care of them.

He needed her.

"Those are admirable qualities, but what about love?"

"What about it?"

"Do you love her?"

Arrow did not. He was physically attracted to her, yes. He loved looking at her, kissing her, running his hands along her body. But he did not love her. He was incapable of loving anyone after Elina left.

And Mercy could never love him back. He was from a different world which he supposed was another reason why he had chosen her. They were too different to ever love each other, and that was good. It was safer that way. He could not stand to be hurt again.

His mother's look was irritated. She was waiting for an answer, and he did not have one to give. "I must go."

"Go to her. Tell her how you feel."

"This man does not know how he feels."

"Then tell her that. Tell her what Elina did to you. Tell her how it made you feel. Tell her how lost and broken you are."

"I am not lost nor broken."

"Then why is it that your children run amuck? Why is it that you traveled miles to find a white woman that you barely know to be a mother to your children? Arrow, I do not pretend to condone what you did. You could have easily had your share of other available women in the village to be your new wife. You chose a stranger. I do not like that. Most of the village does not like that. Everyone is talking, in fact. They are saying you have betrayed your people by bringing her here."

"What I did has nothing to do with my people. I have always been loyal to the Gageagaono ."

"We all know that but what we do not understand is why you brought a stranger into the village, an enemy."

"Mercy is not an enemy. She is a widow. She lost a child."

His mother's eyes widened in surprise. "That is why you chose her."

"Perhaps."

"You saw her grief."

He nodded. His mother always knew how to find out what was bothering him. "Please do not tell Deer."

"Why?"

"Because it is none of her business. She is a nosey woman. She does not care about people, only what knowledge she can obtain behind their backs."

His mother sighed. "Go to Mercy. Talk to her."

She put a hand on his shoulder and slowly walked off. Arrow sighed. Talk was against his better judgment. Talk never did any good. He tried talking to Elina once, and that had gotten him nowhere.

He made his way to the end of the village, seeing no sign of Mercy. He wondered if she had tried to escape. She had no idea what direction to do and anything could happen to her out here. If she was hurt or worse it would be his fault.

He quickened his pace. Night would be upon them soon and if she got lost out there she could run into wild animals or renegade Hurons or white soldiers. He could not forgive himself if anything happened to her.

Hours passed. He found her footprints in the mud by the river. No sign of her. He studied them, they just disappeared by a tree. He looked up.

She sat in one of the branches looking down at him. Her white woman's dress was torn and the hem hung down in shreds. He could clearly see up her skirts but her bloomers prevented him from seeing anything.

He wished she was not wearing them. "What are you doing up there?"

She did not answer for a long while, and Arrow could tell she was clearly angry with him. "What are you doing here?"

"Looking for you."

"Why?"

"Because you should not be out here. It is not safe."

"My safety is none of your concern."

"It is. Since you are under my charge."

"Since I am your prisoner, you mean."

"If you were my prisoner I would have you hobbled. You are free to come and go as you please." That last part was not altogether true. He had no intention of letting her go anywhere. "What are you doing up there?"

"Thinking."

"You climb a tree to think?"

"Why not? There's a nice view up here."

As down here , he thought, still looking up her skirts. "Come down. I wish to speak with you."

"I have nothing to say to you."

"Please."

She seemed to think for a moment then slowly she started down. Her foot slipped on one of the branches and she started to fall. Arrow caught her in his arms. She immediately wrapped her arms around his neck.

Her dark brown eyes were wide set and swimming with innocence. He immediately hardened against her. She felt his need and squirmed to get down.

"I am sorry." His apology was quick, more over his own sexual need than his actions, but perhaps she would take his apology for everything that was wrong between them and there would be peace. Not that he expected to be that lucky. Women where strange, fickle creatures, and Mercy Whitstone defied everything he thought he had ever known about the opposite sex.

He set her down slowly. Very slowly so that her body slid all the way down his. He did not let her go. Carnal instinct wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her to him. She felt the same attraction, he could tell by the way she pressed herself against him.

Not waiting for an invitation, he pressed his lips against hers and kissed her deep, his tongue delving into her mouth as if he owned her very soul. She sighed, opened, and he went deeper. Her tongue stroked his, and his manhood throbbed. He slid his hands from her waist, over her buttocks. Cupping it, he pressed her to him. His sex pushed into her. He was surprised to find that she kissed him deeper. Her hands tangled in his hair.

Arrow backed her up against the tree. He lifted her as if her weight was nothing. Her legs immediately wrapped around his waist. Pushing her against the tree, he thrust his hands up her skirts, found the waist of her bloomers and tugged them down. Surprisingly, there was no resistance from her. Her breath was rapid, guttural, matching his own.

"Do you want this?" he rasped.

"Yes."

His next words were almost painful because if she refused he would have to let her go. "Are you sure?"

She nodded against him and kissed him as if she never wanted to stop. In one swift move, he pushed his breechclout out of the way, and entered her fast and hard. It had been so long and there was no time, no thought, only need. He thrust again and again, feeling his climax come quickly, too quickly. He felt her nails in his shoulders, felt the pain, but it furthered his need. He had not had sex since Elina had left. He should go slow, but he could not. This was need. Raw, physical want, and he could not hold back.

He cried out as he spilled into her. Regret hit him immediately and hard. He had been too fast, too selfish, giving no thought to Mercy's feelings or needs. And he had released into her.

The last thing he needed was another child to be a bad father to.

Slowly, he put her down. He wrapped his arms around her, then held her back at arm's length. "Have I hurt you?"

She shook her head, and for a moment he thought she was going to cry. "No."

He kissed the top of her head. She broke free to pull up her bloomers.

"Is your back all right?" No doubt the friction from the tree bark had been painful.

"I'm fine."

She was not fine, and he did not know what to say. He had taken advantage of her. He had no right defiling her in the middle of the woods like some animal. Who does that? He certainly never had.

He knelt in front of her, took both her hands. "I am sorry, Mercy Whitstone."

Tears welled up in her eyes. He stood and held her tight. "What is wrong?"

"I shouldn't have--we shouldn't have--"

"It was my fault."

"I did nothing to stop you."

"If you become with child, I will take care of you."

"How are you going to do that when you can't even take care of the family you have?"

Her words cut like a knife even though she spoke the truth. He did not know. Strong feelings that he could not even put a name to welled up within. He did not want to be a disappointment to her. He wanted to be someone else. A good father. A provider for her. Someone she could count on. Mercy deserved a good man.

Suddenly he wanted to be that man for her.

He remembered his mother asking if he loved her. He had immediately denied it. Now...what had changed? Something. Everything. He did not know.

He did not want to be a disappointment to Mercy Whitstone, and at that moment he was determined to prove it to her. Somehow.

~ * ~

Mercy walked back to Arrow's lodge in complete silence. She walked with her arms wrapped protectively around herself, refusing to take the hand that Arrow offered. She felt like a whore. She had betrayed Trevor. Even though she had taken vows until death do they part, it had not been long enough to mourn him. She hadn't waited long enough. Certainly not enough time to have sex with a complete stranger in the middle of the woods.

But Arrow wasn't a stranger. She knew him. She knew his children. She had met his entire extended family, and he said if she became pregnant he would take care of her. He didn't have to say that but he had. He was willing to take responsibility for her.

But what about avenging Trevor's death? She had a mission. She couldn't do anything about it if she stayed here. And how could she even think about staying here? She didn't know his family. She wasn't part of his world. His family didn't even like her. She had John and his wife to go back to. She had a job at the trading post. They needed her. Didn't they?

They walked back to his lodge. She heard Talise and Tarlo even before she saw them. They were outside the lodge. Talise was on top of Tarlo punching him. Tarlo kicked Talise, knocked her off him.

Arrow lunged toward them and pulled them apart. He said something harsh in his own language. Talise retorted something heated and Arrow responded with equal hostility. They argued back and forth.

It was none of Mercy's business but instinct took over. She stood between Arrow and his children. "What is going on here? Why are you fighting?"

"Tarlo is copying me. He is saying everything I say."

"He is saying everything I say." Tarlo repeated in broken English.

"See?"

"Tarlo, do not do that."

"Do not do that."

"Stop." Mercy raised her voice. Tarlo looked down then back up at her with wide set, surprised eyes. "You two need to get along. You are brother and sister. Someday the two of you will be all you have."

"What does that mean?" Talise asked.

Mercy thought about all that she had lost. Her parents, her sister, June, when she was just twelve and Mercy was fourteen. June had fallen sick to the pox and was gone in less than a week. She thought of Trevor how all the dreams they had made and talked about had disappeared with his death. And Evan. That was the one loss that hurt the most.

"Why are you crying?" Talise was looking at her. Arrow just stood there with the same confused look on his face.

Mercy frantically wiped her tears away. "I'm crying because none of you understand. Right now you have all these people in your life, and someday you will turn around and they will all be gone. The two of you who spend so much time fighting will have no one but each other. And you don't even realize that. Just don't take others for granted because one day you will look and they will be gone."

"Where will they go?"

"They will die."

Talise looked at her as if she had struck her. Mercy realized she made a mistake and had spoken too harshly. Tears streamed down her face. She felt a small hand slip into hers and looked down to see Tarlo. He smiled up at her. "It will be alright, Nihstenha ."

Mercy had no idea what he had called her, but her heart suddenly cracked and warmth like nothing she had ever felt seeped inside. Before she knew what was happening, Arrow had closed the distance between them. His hands were on her waist. Protective, claiming. In the middle of the village where all could see and he did not even seem to care.

"You are not alone now."

Mercy just looked at him. There was such warmth in his eyes. It reminded her of home, and peace, and belonging. At that moment she felt that she belonged with him. That she belonged with his family, despite how foreign and unfamiliar his culture was to her.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close. Mercy sunk into his chest, taking in the rugged manliness scent of him. She wrapped her arms around his neck as if she had been doing so for a lifetime.

"You have us."

Two more arms went around her waist. Mercy released Arrow, putting her hands on each of the children's shoulders. She didn't want to fall into them, and she was astounded by how right this felt. She felt wanted, appreciated, needed. She had not felt that since Trevor's death.

"Is Mercy going to be our mom?" Talise asked.

The spell was broken and Mercy pulled back. She stared at Talise who was looking up at her father with hopefulness in her expression. Tarlo wore the same look. They were both waiting for an answer. Mercy's heart went up in her chest. She was not their mother and could never be what they wanted. She had a life to go back to. In two months she was to take her grievances to congress. Women and children of Colonial soldiers were starving and no one of influence knew or cared. Even if she was facing legal charges for the British-issued flour and sugar she had stolen last month, as John had warned could be a possibility, she was willing to face that chance to save lives. Surely some act of kindness would avenge Trevor's death. Wouldn't it?

Staring into Arrow's children's eyes, she understood why he had kidnapped her. Would it be so awful if his sister or mother raised them? Surely it wouldn't be that bad. They were the same people.

"Why me?" She looked at Arrow.

He seemed puzzled.

"Why did you take me to care for them? I don't come from the same culture."

"You already lost a child."

At a loss for words, she simply stared at him. She saw something in his gaze. Understanding, although how could he possibly even begin to understand? He had never carried a child in his belly. She could never understand what that kind of bond was like.

"You think that makes me a good mother?"

"I know it does." "You know nothing." She didn't understand the cause of her harshness. Anger built in her.

"I saw you by the tree. More than once. You put flowers on the grave. You even laid a slice of apple bread there."

How had he seen that? She recalled the bread she had carefully folded in a piece of linen, put it down on the grave where she and Trevor had buried Evan. A formal burial, inviting friends and family, had been Trevor's idea. Others had laughed at them, but Mercy saw it as the most heartfelt gesture ever given to her. Their child may have never breathed a living breath, but she had a grave to call her own. Mercy had marked it with flowers, tended to it with care, the same as she would have done had she lived. She would have loved and cared for it the rest of her days.

"How many days did you come to watch me?"

"Enough to know you cared a great deal."

Mercy could only nod. "It does not mean you cannot create a new life. We are here. We wait for you. We have waited for you a long time."

Talise and Tarlo stood on each side of Arrow. Arrow put an arm protectively around each of them. Something broke in Mercy. She did not even try to stop the tears.

"Why are you crying?" Talise looked up at her.

Arrow tugged her shoulder. "Come inside with us and have supper. The children wish to know you better, as do I."

How could he possibly know her any better than what they had just done in the forest? Without a word, Mercy followed him into his lodge. She saw the looks from passersby. Some pointed then laughed. Some just smiled or waved. Mercy wondered if anyone had seen them in the woods, and she felt heat in her cheeks.

"What did they say?" She asked after they had passed by out of earshot.

Arrow flashed her a warm smile. "They said we look like a family."

"Is that really what they said?"

"Why do you doubt me?"

"Because I barely know you."

"What will it take to know me?" His look was thoughtful, slow, melted over her like butter on hot bread.

Mercy's cheeks were on fire.

"Would more of the same help you know me better?" he whispered in her ear as he held the flap of hide back so she could enter his lodge.

Mercy ignored him, entered the lodge, and sat down as Talise and Tarlo began rummaging through things in the lodge. Talise found a doll.

"See?" She held it up.

"That's very pretty." It was made of corn husk. There was no face, and the hair was fashioned from the corn tassels. Whoever had made it took great care to make it appear humanlike.

"Aunt Deer made it for me."

"She is very talented."

"What does that mean?"

"It means she made you something beautiful to be cherished your whole life."

"I just play with her." Talise shrugged.

Tarlo tugged on the sleeve of her dress and smiled at her. Mercy couldn't help but smile back. She noticed Arrow watching with great interest.

Arrow worked around the lodge, preparing something he put on the fire to warm. He stirred it with a stick. She wondered if it was unusual for him to cook, since he had mentioned that they usually eat at his mother's or sister's. She wondered if he was doing so to care for her or to have her eat alone as a family to get used to them. Perhaps he wanted to be alone with her.

He served the meal on four wooden platters.

"You serve a meal as if you had been preparing them every night."

He smiled as if he liked the compliment but said nothing. He gave his children their food. When they turned up their noses at it, he barked something in his native language. They immediately lowered their eyes and begrudgingly began eating.

They ate in silence. Sounds of the village echoed outside. Small talk, children playing, dogs barking. Everyone in the village was going about their own business, paying them no mind as a new family.

It was almost as if Mercy were one of them.

When they were finished eating, Arrow gathered up the plates. He went outside with the scraps that the children did not eat. Mercy heard dogs barking and assumed he must have given it to them. She wondered if all families fed the dogs that way.

"Do you want to play peachstone?" Talise had a bunch of peach pits in a gourd she used as a cup.

"I would love to. How do you play?"

Talise showed her the rules of the game, and Mercy listened to the sing song of both children as they animatedly told her the rules. When Arrow got back he watched them playing. Mercy looked up at him. He had a strange expression on his face; a mixture of surprise and contentment.

You could make them happy.

The thought took her by surprise. She could not make anyone happy. She had a life back home. She had duties to John and the trading post and retribution for Trevor's death.

A strange calm settled over her as she watched the children play. Arrow took his turn rolling the intricately painted peach pits and cheering when it was his score then pretending he was angry when he lost. The children laughed with him until he told them something in his native language.

Mercy assumed he said it was time for bed because they obediently groaned and showed looks of disappointment on their faces. Reluctantly, they got out their sleeping mats and blankets. Arrow hugged each of them and tucked them in. Mercy thought about the child she would have had, imagining a similar nightly ritual.

The children each muttered something to their father in their language.

"Oh!" Talise sat up, quickly went to Mercy, planted a kiss on her cheek and hugged her. Tarlo followed suit.

"Thank you," Mercy answered. "Good night."

"Sleep well," Talise went back to her bed.

"Good night." Tarlo hopped back onto his sleeping mat and giggled.

Arrow was staring at her. A pleased expression painted his face. It settled her heart to see him content. She did not know why.

"What are you thinking?"

"That you belong here," he answered.

She knew he would say that, so why did she ask what he was thinking? She thought of her life back at the trading post, how it was day in, day out always the same except for perhaps an unruly customer on occasion. She thought of the warm nights with Trevor, wondered if it would be the same with Arrow. If she went back home she would go back to an empty loft, killing the loneliness with one of the three books she owned and had read repeatedly.

Would it be that bad to stay?

Her husband's death would never be vindicated. Perhaps something interesting was in store in her future working at the trading post.

Mercy watched Arrow stare at her. She thought about their interaction by the tree. He looked tired. Like he wouldn't try anything. Surprising even herself, she touched his cheek. She leaned toward him and kissed him.