Chapter 14

Chapter

Fourteen

Owen doesn’t react to the news with a gasp, like I’d have imagined, but only purses his lips. “I am?”

“Aye. Do you know what that means?”

He shakes his head. “I suppose I know the human meaning of the word, which would be like saying I’m your friend, but that’s not it, is it?”

“Dawn is Gorvor’s mate,” I tell him. “And Willow is Ozork’s. The same thing happened to your soldier, Ian, and my friend Carrow.”

“Ah.” Owen turns my hand over and presses his thumbs into my palm. “So it’s like…a partner? A spouse.”

“An orc only ever gets one fated mate,” I explain, biting back a moan when he continues massaging my hand. “The one person who is so completely right for them, no one else will ever do. We— oh —we recognize them by scent.”

Owen looks up at this. “You’re saying you smelled me?”

Heat rises in my cheeks at the memory. “You might remember the event. I did drop a whole platter of food and caused a big mess.”

He stops massaging me. “But—you ran away from me then.”

His eyebrows draw in, and I know he’s piecing together the other times we met.

“I did,” I confirm. “I was afraid.”

He doesn’t say anything, only keeps frowning at me, his mouth a tight line. I hurry on with my explanation because this is truly frightening, this moment of uncertainty, of not knowing how he’ll react when he learns how I’ve behaved.

“I was scared because you’re human . But only because you were always going to leave—and I couldn’t follow you, it’s not about who or what you are.” I flutter my hands, fumbling for the right words. “I mean, I saw you were a soldier. And I know humans need sunlight, and I was afraid that if I told you, if you knew what you were to me, you’d see me as a burden. Because I could never be what you need in a mate. In a life partner or a wife or however you want to name me.”

I take a deep breath, aware that I’m not making much sense.

“Mara…”

Owen’s fingers twitch around my hand, and my heart stutters at the thought that he might try to pull his hand away, so I grasp it tightly, holding on. I need to explain this to him, and I need him to understand.

“Please, let me finish,” I whisper. “You can do whatever you want later, just let me get through this.”

A muscle jumps in Owen’s jaw, but he nods, allowing me to go on.

“I never lied to you. And I never wanted to deceive you, I just couldn’t tell you the truth until I knew you liked me for me .” I sniff, my eyes stinging suddenly with tears, but I force myself to continue regardless. “If you knew, if you realized what power you held over me and didn’t want me, it would break me, Owen. I-I watched my mother fade away after my father died, and I couldn’t let that happen to me. So I figured it would be easier not to love you at all if you were set on leaving anyway. At least then, I could protect my heart a little.”

He’s silent for a long moment, then speaks, his voice barely louder than a murmur. “What is the truth? What power do I hold over you?”

I’ve been staring at our clenched hands, but now, I meet his serious blue gaze. “I love you,” I choke out. “I couldn’t help it, I fell in love through every fumbling meeting. Your scent let me know how important you were going to become, but it was you who convinced me.”

I’m crying now, tears flowing freely down my cheeks, and I hate it, I hate that this is what I’ve been reduced to—already pining for him. Because Owen is sitting so still, I can’t help but think this is too much for him. And he doesn’t even know it all yet, so I take a shuddering breath and continue.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever want to have children, Owen. My mother wasn’t strong enough to stay alive for me, and if we—if we ever…”

At this I have to stop because my voice fails me. I bury my face in my hands and shudder, digging the heels of my palms into my leaking eyes.

“Gods, why is this so hard?” I push myself up from the bed and pace away from him. I need the distance to say this last part. “What I’m trying to tell you is that orcs can only have children with their fated mates. This is another reason why I didn’t want to tell you. It feels so much like an obligation, and I hated the idea of doing that to you.”

Owen’s frown deepens. “You’re saying you won’t ever have children unless it’s with me?”

“Aye.” I swipe my sleeves over my eyes, finally quashing my tears. “That’s the gist of it.”

I don’t add that I might not be fully myself again if he left. I’m not certain what would happen—though I hope his departure wouldn’t affect me as much as my father’s death hurt my mother. In the end, she must have loved him more than she loved me, and I don’t know if I’ll ever truly get over that, but I might be willing to try with Owen.

First, though, he would need to choose me.

He remains quiet, his expression closed off.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper into the silence between us. “For keeping this from you. But…is there any chance you understand?”

“I do,” he says slowly. “You know, I spoke to Willow tonight. When I escorted her to the party, I mean. She all but told me she was intent on staying at the Hill forever. Her marriage to Ozork cemented that, but we didn’t know that would happen when we talked.”

I stare at him, wondering why he’s talking about Willow when I just poured out my heart to him.

He shoves his hair away from his face, the tendrils that must have escaped during the festivities. Suddenly, he looks weary, and I realize he’s been just as preoccupied as I have—he said he’d been sleeping poorly and couldn’t rest.

“She asked me if I wanted to stay,” he adds. “Here, at the Hill, as her personal guard. I’d have to return to Ultrup to resign and ask the duke to be reassigned to Willow on a permanent basis, though that would be only a formality as she doesn’t need a guard now that she has Ozork. I’ve been thinking of my future and was wondering if King Gorvor might have use of a human soldier in his Army.”

My hands are starting to shake, so I clench them together tightly, worrying my knuckles until they hurt. “You-you have?”

“Oh, yes.” He inclines his head at me. “All while trying to figure out why I was so damn attracted to a woman who’s been pushing me away every time we got close to each other. I’ve been dreaming about godsdamned strawberries for days , Mara.”

Now my knees are in danger of giving in. I grip the back of the chair for support, barely holding myself together. “I’m so sorry?—”

“I know.” He stands and walks over to me.

I stare up at him, wondering what to do now—where we go on from here.

“We’ve both been keeping things too close to the vest,” he murmurs. “You didn’t think you could trust me, and I was too proud to admit even to myself that I suddenly had no interest in pursuing the path I’d laid out for myself a decade ago.” His laugh is hoarse and hollow. “I was to be a general, you know. I didn’t have time for a wife or children, and I didn’t want them either.”

He steps even closer and brings his fingers to my chin, nudging it up. “Then I visited the orc kingdom, of all places, and saw a beautiful woman across the room. Only for a moment, mind you, because she made a mess and ran away, but it was enough. I couldn’t get her out of my mind, no matter how hard I tried.” He brushes his thumb over my cheek, swiping away the tears. “So when the duke asked me to escort his niece here, I jumped at the chance. All because I was hoping to see her again.”

I’m crying now, holding my breath to keep the sobs contained, but the need to breathe wins over, so I suck in a deep, heaving inhale, then squeeze my eyes shut. Owen’s arms wrap around my shoulders, and I collapse against him, clutching his tunic and holding on tight.

“Hush,” he murmurs, stroking the back of my head. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I lift my chin, blinking at him through my tears. “You’re not?” I sniff and shift away from him to blow my nose. “Even after everything I said? Or everything I didn’t ?”

“No, Mara.” He scrubs a hand through his hair, which is so messy by now, his tie is hanging loose at his neck. “I realize now that you have been telling me things. You showed me your home and accepted me, even though you were clearly unhappy with me…”

“I wasn’t unhappy,” I grumble. “I just didn’t know how to behave around you. This godsdamned attraction pulled me in, but I was afraid of making a fool out of myself.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Do you resent it? The fact that I’m…yours?”

I gape at him. “What? No! That was never the issue.”

Owen glances at his boots. “Well, I wasn’t certain. Not after you ran from me that second time—and the third, in the kitchen that night.”

“Ah. I can see why you would think that.” I raise my hands to his face and press both palms to his cheeks so he’s forced to look at me. “I never resented you. Only the fact that we’re…ill-suited for each other, given our duties in life. And like I said, I didn’t enjoy feeling so crushed after you left the Hill all those weeks ago. If you were an orc…”

I clamp my mouth shut, not wanting to compare Owen’s reaction to what might have happened if my mate had been one of the clansmen or an orc from another kingdom. It’s unfair to him because he didn’t know—couldn’t have known what was going on.

But Owen’s gaze sharpens. “What would have happened that day if I was an orc?”

I bite my lip, thinking of the other meetings of fated mates I’d witnessed. “Well… You would have recognized me instantly as yours. Those strawberries you keep mentioning would have been a dead giveaway, just as your scent was for me.”

“Strawberries and cream ,” he corrects me. He puts his nose to my temple and inhales deeply. “What do I smell like to you?”

“Cedar and anise seed,” I blurt. “And leather. It’s a heady scent. Earna has been using anise in her cakes lately, it’s almost as if she could sense that I had a new affinity for it. It’s been driving me mad.”

Owen hums, his gaze searching my face. “Is it bad that I like the fact that you’ve been thinking about me?”

“I suppose not.” I can’t help but smile at him, only a small quirk of my lips. “But I was rather miserable, let me tell you that.”

He leans in and kisses my forehead. “I’m sorry for causing you pain.”

“You didn’t,” I correct him immediately. “The Fates were at fault. But my people always say that the Fates are never wrong, and I suppose they might be right after all…”

He quirks one eyebrow up. “You still haven’t told me what would have happened if I was an orc.”

I fidget in place, not sure how to say it without making it seem as if his reaction had been lacking in any way.

“An orc would have had…an impulse to act the moment he scented me,” I hedge finally.

Owen purses his lips, then asks, “Would that impulse include wanting to hunt you down through the corridors and press you up against the nearest wall?”

I gape at him, then jerk my chin down in a nod. “Aye, something like that.”

“Then I believe the only difference between my reaction and that of a theoretical orc would be my restraint,” Owen concludes, a small smile tugging up the corners of his mouth. “Or perhaps our upbringing. You see, in the human lands, it’s considered crass to go hunting down a stranger in her own home, no matter how beautiful she is.”

I laugh, unable to help myself. “Oh.”

“That’s right.” Owen nudges me backward, and I allow him to steer me until my ass meets the wall next to the door. “This is what I wanted to do that day.”

He leans his body against mine, until we’re flush from knee to chest, and I can feel his hardness through the layers of our clothes. My next inhale comes faster, and my lungs fill with his delicious scent, a deeper note of desire winding its way through it.

“I wanted it, too,” I confess. “So much. But you were all the way on the other side of that room filled with so many orcs and humans. They all stared after I’d dropped that platter, and I couldn’t stay, not when I thought…”

“I know.” Owen brushes a kiss on my neck, then traces the shell of my ear with his tongue. “It was unfair and unpleasant, and I understand why you ran. But maybe we could have a do-over.”

I grip the back of his neck and crane my head to the side to give him better access to my skin. “A do-over?”

“Mm-hm.” He obliges by raining little biting kisses all over my neck, then down to my shoulder. “We could pretend we’re meeting for the first time. You walked into that parlor and saw me, and I didn’t gape at you like a fool but instead walked right over to introduce myself to the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”

“All right.” I turn my head to intercept his next kiss on my lips. “I like this idea.”

“I thought you might,” Owen murmurs against my mouth. “What would you do next?”

In answer, I part my lips for him, then touch my tongue to his. He groans and deepens the kiss, rocking his hips. I return every caress, every touch, holding on to him so tightly. I’m no longer afraid he’ll leave, but I want to get closer, ever closer to him, and suddenly, what we’re doing isn’t enough.

I unbutton Owen’s jacket and push it over his shoulders, and he shrugs it off with an impatient motion. Then his hands are on the laces of my dress, and I’m tugging his shirt from his pants. He helps me lift the dress over my head, then leans in to kiss me again as he toes off his boots. When he reaches for the laces on his pants, I bat his hands away.

“Let me.”

I undo the laces and slide the flaps aside, and then Owen takes over, impatient, shoving the pants down, along with his underwear. Suddenly, he’s naked in front of me, his strong, muscled body illuminated by the orange glow of the lantern.

His cock juts up from his groin, where a thatch of light-brown hair covers his balls.It’s long and proud, just slightly more curved than an orc’s, with a reddish-purple head and strong veins running down its length.

He stands tall, letting me look. I feast my eyes on him, admiring his strong muscles and the broad, sturdy shape of his body. Then I reach for him because I need to touch him, too, and we come together again, my hands on his skin, his arms around me.

I expect him to undress me first, but instead, he reaches for my hair and pulls out the first gold pin. “May I?”

At my nod, he feels for more of the gold ornaments and takes them out one by one until my heavy braid falls to my back. He wraps the thick rope of hair around his fist and tugs lightly, and I gasp, going up on my tiptoes for him. The slight pressure he’s putting on me is having a strange effect, sending pulses of pleasure and awareness through my body, straight down to my core.

“Owen!” I scramble for his shoulders and dig my fingernails into his naked skin. “Why does this feel so good?”

He tugs my head to the side and sucks on my neck, bruising the skin with every carnal kiss. “I wanted to touch you so badly that day in the baths. I didn’t know until then how long your hair is.”

I look up at him, my entire being humming from the need to be with him. “Do you want to unbraid it?”

He sucks in a breath. “Yes.”

I grin and face away from him, offering him my back. Owen’s hands are gentle as he picks up the end of my braid and undoes the tie, then slowly separates the threads of my hair.

When he digs his fingers into my scalp, I moan and let my head rest in his hands. It feels amazing, and I don’t know why we didn’t think to do this sooner.

Owen chuckles, his breath hot on the skin of my neck. “I knew you’d like this.”

“Like it?” I shuffle back until I’m flush with his body and his hard cock rests against my ass. “If you ever decide to leave your profession, Captain, I will gladly pay you to do this all day.”

He kisses my shoulder. He moves his fingers over my scalp, pressing down with just enough force.”Mm. So you want me to continue with this?”

I sigh and turn around. “As much as I want to say yes, I did have other plans for you.”

Owen’s eyebrows climb up. “Oh?”

I nudge him backward, toward my bed, and he grins at me, devastatingly handsome. He wraps his fingers around my wrist and leads me along, and we fall on the bed in a tangle of limbs, gasping and laughing. He grabs handfuls of my undershirt and tugs it over my head, then pulls me down on top of him, banding his arms around me.

“Owen.” I kiss him deeply, savoring the taste of him, the feel of his naked skin against mine.

He puts his hands on my ass and hikes me higher so I’m straddling him, my knees on either side of his hips. “I’ve had a dream…”

He groans as I roll my hips over his cock, then holds me so I stop.

“Yes?”

I smile sweetly down at him, my hands braced on his chest. My hair falls around my face in a black curtain, and he turns his head toward it, then draws in a deep inhale.

“Gods, this scent will always make me hard, I swear.” He stares up at me. “I want you to ride me. Can you do that?”

My cheeks are flaming with heat, but I consider his question. “I’ve never done it before, but I think I can figure it out.”

I grasp his cock, wrapping my fingers around the thick base. It twitches in my grip, and I gasp, delighted at the velvety texture.

“Oh.” I slide farther down Owen’s body, curiosity getting the best of me. “I’ve never done this either.”

I trace the underside of his cockhead with my thumb, and Owen shudders, the muscles in his thick thighs bunching up. A small drop of precum appears at the very top of his cock, caught in the slit, so I touch it with my other forefinger and bring the droplet to my lips.

“Fuck.” Owen lifts himself on his elbows, watching me with hooded eyes. “You don’t have to?—”

The taste of him explodes on my tongue, salty and flavorful. My eyelids flutter in pleasure, so I lean in and swipe up the next droplet with my tongue instead. Owen’s groan reverberates around my room, a guttural, primal sound I’ll cherish forever. Encouraged by his reaction, I wrap my lips around his cockhead and give it a tentative suck. I slide my mouth lower, taking his length until I feel his head at the back of my throat, then retreat again, repeating the motion.

He melts back onto the pillows. “Your mouth feels like—oh gods . Don’t— Fuck, you need to stop.”

I look up at him, pouting. “Really?”

Owen reaches for me. “For now.” In a quick move, he tumbles me onto my back and rears up above me, his hips lined up with mine. “Later, you’ll get to play however you want. I’m yours, and if you think I’ll stop you from sucking my cock, you’re underestimating my obsession with you.”

I instinctively wrap my legs around his waist, opening up for him. “You said you wanted me to ride you?”

He leans down for a kiss. “I did. And we can do that—but maybe…” He brings his hand between us and parts my lower lips. “Maybe I want to take care of you first.”

Owen pushes two fingers right into my pussy, sliding in easily because of how wet I am. He groans at the feel of me, and I grin, then spread my thighs for him a little more, giving myself over. He finds my pearl with his thumb and teases the sensitive flesh at my opening like I told him last night until I’m clenching around him, my hips rolling up with every dip of his hand.

“I want to feel you around my cock,” he rasps, his lips against my ear. “But you need to tell me if anything feels off, all right?”

I jerk my chin down. “Just don’t stop moving.”

He grins, then replaces his fingers with the thick head of his cock. “Fuck, you’re tight.” He works his hips forward one small thrust after another. “Are you close to coming, sweetheart?”

I lock my heels behind his back and tug him closer to me. “Aye! And I need— ah! ”

At my movement, he sinks inside me, and the feeling of his shaft sliding past my sensitive opening is almost too good. My inner muscles ripple around his length, and if he was an orc, they’d be clamping down on his knot, but Owen’s cock glides easily through them.

It’s never been like this, not with anyone I’ve been with, even though they couldn’t knot me. It must be him , my mate, drawing a reaction of this magnitude from me. My breath stutters in my throat. I squeeze my eyes shut, the sensations coursing through me overwhelming in the best way possible…

“Look at me.”

Owen’s command has me opening my eyes, and I find myself staring into his beautiful blue eyes.

“I need to move, Mara, but I have to know you’re all right.”

I heave in a deep breath, trying to put together a coherent answer, but my entire body is trembling on the verge of something big , and I don’t know if I’m all right or not—I’ve never done this before.

Owen frowns, then starts pulling back out. “We can stop if you need, there’s no— fuck! ”

That single nudge of his cock is enough to shove me over the edge. My climax ripples out of my core, spreading through my veins, and I hold on to Owen with everything I have. I curl up, burying my face in his chest, and dig my nails into his sides to hold him right where I need him. My pussy clenches around his cock, drawing it back inside, and Owen’s hips rock forward as if on their own.

His breath hisses through his teeth as he holds himself steady, letting me ride out my pleasure. “That was—gods, this feels incredible.” He brushes my hair from my face and kisses me roughly, his teeth clashing against mine, his lips bruising. “You get so fucking tight when you come.”

I collapse back on the pillows, my thoughts in disarray. “Owen, that wasn’t normal .”

He frowns at me. “What’s wrong?”

I try to find the right words, but they won’t form, so finally, I blurt, “I’ve never come like that. So quickly.” I squirm, more than aware that Owen’s hard cock is still buried inside me, and he hasn’t come yet. “It’s different .”

One of his blond eyebrows quirks up. “Is different bad?” He lowers himself to his elbows, putting his body flush with mine. “Because to me, making you come fast is a good thing. I’d like to see if you can go again.”

He presses his hips forward, sinking his cock deeper, and all my senses spring to life.

“I don’t know,” I whimper. “Everything feels so sensitive.”

“Are you sore?” He withdraws again. “Does anything hurt?”

I grasp his ass, not wanting to let him go. “No, nothing hurts, it’s just…”

Owen bends his head to lick my skin between my tits, then cups one with his palm and swipes his thumb over my nipple. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

He’s using his wiles to get me to confess the truth, so I growl at him, but he just grins and sucks my nipple into his mouth, then bites down lightly. My back arches off the bed as I try to prolong the sensation, but he pops off, his expression wicked.

“Fine!” I cut my gaze away from him, unable to look him in the eyes. “I’m afraid.”

He hums deep in his throat and rewards me with a kiss. “Of what?”

“I don’t know.” I scrunch up my face, then confess the truth. “It’s never been this good, and I don’t know what to expect next. After you, ah, finish.”

Owen’s expression lightens. “You want to know if I’ll pack up and leave right after I come?”

I pinch his side. “I know you’re staying at the Hill now. But?—”

“No one’s ever stayed to cuddle after you fucked?” he asks calmly.

I put my hands over my eyes. “This is too strange.”

“Discussing your previous lovers while I’m balls-deep inside you?” Owen rocks his hips forward, drawing a gasp from me. “I have half a mind to hunt them all down and have some strong words with them.”

I scrunch up my face. “You cannot be serious?—”

“Not because you fucked them.” He frowns down at me. “I didn’t come to you a virgin either. I just hate that they made you doubt yourself like this. That they left the moment they got their pleasure.”

I gasp as he pulls almost all the way out, then presses back in through my swollen, sensitive inner muscles. “It-it wasn’t like that. Orcs know that any relationship that’s not fated is only temporary.”

He shakes his head, his expression fierce. “That doesn’t mean you didn’t deserve to be treated well.” He rears up, takes my knees, and wraps my legs more securely around his waist. “I’m not going anywhere. I want to make you come once more before I fill your pussy with all the cum I’ve been wanting to spill inside you, and then I’ll stay with you through the night and make love to you at least once more before morning.”

My heart stutters. “That sounds… I like it.” I stumble over my words. “You said you’ll, ah, make love to me?”

Owen dips his hands under my ass and cants my hips up, changing the angle between us. “Oh, this goes way beyond fucking, sweetheart. Don’t you feel it?”

He slams back in, and on this stroke, he nudges that elusive spot deep inside my pussy. I cry out, scrabbling to hold on to something, but Owen has me right where he wants me, with my hips in the air and his cock thrusting into my pussy with long, measured strokes.

“I feel it,” I whimper.

“You said you loved me,” he rasps, picking up his pace. “Do you think I feel any differently? You’ve stolen my heart, Mara.”

“I-I didn’t set out to do that.” I reach for him and place my palm on his chest. “But I’m not giving it back.”

He grins down at me, then reaches between our bodies and holds his callused thumb down over my pearl. Sensations burst inside me, this new pleasure building on top of the pressure in my pussy. All the muscles in my body lock up, and I pull Owen closer—I need him on top of me, to feel his solid weight. He fucks me with long, powerful thrusts, then stills deep inside me, and I feel his cum against that sensitive spot at the very end of my pussy. It tumbles me into another wave of bliss, and I hold on to him, sobbing.

“…so fucking good,” he’s saying, his voice hoarse as he bends over me. “Mara, your pussy is—oh fuck — ah! ”

He shudders as another jet of cum shoots from his cock, warming my insides.

I go limp under him, too wrung out, too shocked by the pleasure. I only have the strength to lift my hand, palm the back of his neck, and tug him down until he’s lying on me, his weight supported on his elbows. He kisses me deeply, our tongues meeting again and again, our feverish need burnt out for the moment. I have no doubt that we’ll soon be at each other again, but right now, I want to feel his body on top of mine, just resting.

We remain there for long minutes, my pussy still tight around his cock. His heartbeat slows, and mine follows, our hearts working in sync.

“I think the Fates were right after all,” I murmur, running my palms up and down his back. “This was entirely too good to be a mistake.”

Owen slips from me and lies at my side, then folds me into an embrace and kisses my brow. “It might have taken us a while, but we found each other in the end.”

I raise my head to peer down at him. “Is this the end? I thought it was only the beginning.”

He snorts softly. “The end of our trouble, I hope. I’ll be staying here with you, and as long as we’re together, we can figure out anything, don’t you think?”

“Aye, I suppose you’re right.”

I settle next to him, my body still tingling with pleasure. If I focus and listen carefully, I can hear Owen’s heartbeat, and it’s the single best sound I’ve heard in my life. My bed smells like him now, and I don’t have to sneak furtive sniffs at him anymore. I giggle, then bury my face in his side.

“What’s so funny?” he asks, his voice drowsy.

I shake my head at first, but he nudges me, and I find that I can’t keep anything from him, even something so trivial.

“I realized I can smell you anytime I want.” I prove my point by pressing my nose into his neck and huffing deeply. “My own personal perfume. I want to roll around in your scent and wear it always, is that strange?”

He nuzzles my cheek. “Not at all. I want to smell like strawberries, too.”

I laugh softly. “All right. No washing for either of us, then.”

“I don’t know.” He yawns and covers his mouth with his hand. “After a day or two, you’ll be begging me to take a bath.”

Owen curls around me, tucking himself against my back, and draws my covers over us both. He groans as his cock rests against my ass. “I thought it might take me a while before I’m ready again, but there’s just something about you that has me…”

A knock sounds at the door, startling us both. I groan, too—a different kind of sound entirely from his lustful one.

“Who is it?” I call.

“It’s Uram. There’s been an incident, and the king has called for the captain.”