3. Jaxson
Fuck, how… why did it feel like I was fighting the worst war of my life? And damn, I was losing. If I stopped bouncing Emilia for even a second, she cried. Like straight up, she wailed like she would never stop. I had to stay on the move.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d sat down and eaten a hot meal. By the time she started crying and I took the time to soothe her back to sleep, my food was cold and usually inedible. And sleep? What even was that?
Shit, I sniffed myself surreptitiously, and had to say a thank fuck cause no funk. Showers were yet another luxury my niece didn’t think I should have.
It would serve Mr. Nosey hot neighbor right for showing up at my front door if I smelled. Although I was surprised it had taken this long, honestly. I figured small town was nosey neighbor central. But the last thing I needed was an interruption. Fuck, I could use a nap and a shot of tequila… and not in that order.
I really didn’t have the energy or inclination to play host or smile or anything more than I was currently doing.
“Thank—” Before I could think of a good way to tell the nosey hottie to leave, Emilia made her shit is going to hit the fan in five seconds cry, and my body immediately swayed side to side to try to soothe her.
“Come in,” I sighed and turned, heading towards the kitchen. If he tried anything, I could easily take him. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“Oh, it’s Rhys. I’m Jayson’s cousin. And who are you?”
I looked over my shoulder at him. “I’m Jaxson. His brother-in-law. And this is Emilia.”
She cried harder, and nothing was working. It was like she knew she wasn’t the sole focus of my attention… or you’re just crap at the whole being a dad thing.
I ignored that voice for that moment, especially since I knew it would be back. My inner voice had no problem pointing out my inadequacies.
I could sense him behind me, but he was the least of my concerns. I needed to calm my niece down now, or I knew it would be a rough night ahead.
I hurried to the fridge and got out one of the already prepared bottles. I knew I couldn’t stop moving, but I also had to get the bottle in the warmer and —
“Would you like me to hold her while you do that?” The sound of his voice had me turning to face him.
“You look like you could use a break,” he said, breaking the silence. “How about I take her. ”
“You sure?”
His smile set me at ease somewhat and created warmth in my chest. Looking him over, I decided it couldn’t hurt. I didn’t have the time or energy to beat around the bush with him while she cried.
“Absolutely. I’m great with kids. Our family is enormous.”
He could be just what you need.
I ignored my inner voice because the last thing I needed was a complication, and this guy had the word written all over him.
I couldn’t help noticing his perfect smile as he shrugged out of his coat and tossed it on the island.
“Probably would have been a good idea to ask my name before coming into my house. I could be a serial killer or something,” I snarked.
He snorted, like actually snorted. His brows shot up and his eyes danced as he laughed.
Maybe it was just the way the light reflected off his face, but it made him seem so handsome. His eyes crinkled at the corners and the smile that pulled his lips wide revealed gleaming white teeth.
Emilia continued to wail, interrupting the deep sound of his laughter that reminded me of a well tuned classic car revving up. It was perfect.
Perfect, huh? I ignored the mocking voice. I clearly needed more sleep.
Rhys walked over with confidence I wish I felt and scooped her out of my arms. I wasn’t sure which one of us was more stunned. He kissed her head and pulled her close to his chest. Wrapping his arms around her, he rubbed her back and rocked her gently, cooing softly into her ear. And as if by magic, Emilia finally quieted down - her cries became little hiccups as she snuggled closer into his chest, and soon enough she wasn’t wailing anymore.
“I can’t believe?—”
I couldn’t believe it; here was this guy I’d just met, and he seemed to have some sort of magical power over my daughter.
My mouth dropped as I watched Rhys continue to coo at Emilia while swaying side to side until we had blessed silence.
I couldn’t stop staring at the small miracle that was taking place. Her little fist held on to his shirt, like she had no plans of letting go anytime soon. And he looked very at ease with her in his arms, cooing and rocking her back and forth like it was the most natural thing in the world.
He must have felt me staring, because he finally looked up and I raised a brow. What I really wanted to ask was how the hell he did that?
“I told you I’m good with kids,” he shrugged. “My brothers and their ma—partners have eight kids between them, with one on the way. So yeah, I have a lot of practice.” He snorted again. “Who better than the single uncle to babysit for date night?”
His eyes widened like he couldn’t believe he’d said the last bit, and his cheeks flushed red. Rhys quickly looked away from me, returning his attention to Emilia, who, surprisingly, was still not crying.
It was like watching a snake charmer work. Usually, I couldn’t get my niece quiet unless she’d just been fed, and even then, not always. It felt like we were in a cycle of her wearing herself out until she fell asleep, while I wanted to do the same.
I knew it was small and petty of me to feel it, but I couldn’t seem to help it. I should have seen this moment as a brief reprieve. But here was this stranger, holding her like he’d done it a million times before, and he wasn’t breaking a sweat.
My dau—nie—Emilia was normally only quiet for a few minutes. But here was Rhys. I could swear he’d cast some sort of spell on her, because she just laid there, contentedly cooing back at him. She looked so peaceful and happy that I couldn’t help feeling a pang of jealousy.
Okay, it wasn’t only jealousy, because watching him interact with Emilia filled me with admiration and awe. His hand was on her back as he held her to his chest. She responded to his touch and how he moved with her.
As I observed the two of them, my heart swelled with a mixture of emotions - warmth, jealousy, and admiration. He clearly was a natural with kids that most people—namely me—could only dream of having.
Rhys hummed softly under his breath; it was an unfamiliar tune, not one I’d heard before, but my daughter seemed to love it. She had stopped crying completely and seemed content to lay her head on Rhys’s shoulder while he swayed side to side, humming.
His voice felt like a gentle caress in my ears, soothing me as much as it did my daughter. His eyes were glued to her tiny face, almost like he was memorizing every little thing about her.
“Thanks, Rhys,” I muttered, trying to hide my irritation.
He nodded, but there was a knowing smile on his face that told me I hadn’t done a very good job. My stomach churned as it occurred to me that Rhys could be silently judging me for not being able to handle fatherhood.
It hit me then that we couldn’t be more night and day at that moment if we tried. Standing in the kitchen, I couldn’t help but notice how put-together Rhys looked. His clothes were crisp, and he smelled of cologne, nothing heavy, but it was there. I, on the other hand, hadn’t showered yet and was wearing the same stained T-shirt I’d thrown on yesterday.
“You look like you could use a break,” Rhys said, breaking the silence. “I could watch her a little if there’s anything you need to sort out.”
I rolled my eyes as if I would let a virtual stranger watch Emilia while she slept. I held my hand out for her, and as he handed her over, I prayed she didn’t wake up. Thankfully, my prayers were heard.
Or maybe Rhys settled her better than you do.
I ignored that voice and headed towards the door.
“Come on,” I said, but didn’t wait to see if he was following as I headed to the media room, which had basically turned to my bedroom.
I placed her in the pack and play I’d moved down here two days after we’d moved in. I still couldn’t believe I’d been living in Montana for a six whole days.
Once Emilia was settled and I was certain she wouldn’t wake up, I noticed my guest hovering at the door.
“Come in,” I invited him.
He nodded and took a step inside the room. I caught him looking around, and it occurred to me that he had probably been here before. I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Have a seat.” Lowering myself onto the sofa, I smothered a yawn. It was like my body knew the baby was asleep, which meant it was time for me to catch some shuteye for however long that lasted. It was our routine, after all.
“So,” I began trying to think of the quickest way to get him out of the house without being rude. She probably wouldn’t be asleep long since I hadn’t actually given her a bottle, but at this point, an hour of uninterrupted snoozing would be welcome.
“So,” he repeated.
I turned to face him and noticed he’d taken a seat at the other end of the sofa. Like he felt the need to keep space between us. My sleep deprived brain didn’t like that, and I blamed it on sleep deprivation.
“How did you get Emilia to sleep so easily.” I hated that I wasn’t sure if I should refer to her as my niece or daughter. Calling her my daughter felt like I was erasing Jayson and Leanne, but calling her my niece felt like…well, it didn’t feel right either.
Rhys smiled as I watched his lips move. I didn’t hear what he said as the timbre of his voice lolled me into a state of relaxation. When his lips stopped moving, and the smile crept up his face, I knew I was busted. Hadn’t heard a word he said.
“Sorry what did you say?” Fuck, the man would think I was being a dick for not paying attention or something, but things were definitely getting fuzzy.
“I said,” he repeated patiently, “I have a couple of nieces and nephews, one around Emilia’s age. I’m a pro at babysitting. May even be a baby-whisperer.”
He smiled, but there was something sad about it. I didn’t know why I could sense that, but I could. The air of sadness made him fragile and made me want to wrap him in my arms and tell him it would be okay.
Fuck. Clearly, I was more sleep deprived than I realized. It wasn’t like me to have these thoughts. I knew he was an omega, but it wasn’t enough reason to feel that way towards him.
“And you’re close to your siblings?” I asked.
He smiled wider. “Yup. All of them, although being the youngest,” he rolled his eyes, “it can get a little smothering. Thankfully, they all have ma—partners and kids they can focus on now.” I could tell from the irritated fondness in his tone he loved his siblings. “Between my four brothers, I have five nephews and three nieces. So like I said, I’ve had a lot of practice. Sometimes, babies can sense nervous energy, so if a person is—” his voice trailed off.
I chuckled, which turned into a yawn, “You can tell I’m just figuring shit out huh?”
He shrugged, smiling, so I didn’t feel like he was judging me. “You’re doing you’re best, she’s fed, warm, and safe…”
“Low bar,” I snorted.
He shook his head, “No! Not at all. It’s obvious you care, and you’re trying, I bet she knows that. You’ll get better.”
Hearing the certainty in his voice shouldn’t have made me feel better, but it really did. More often than not, it felt like I was wandering around in the dark, trying to find my way, with not a speck of light in sight. But Rhys here was clearly an expert, so if he said I was doing okay, I’d take it. I yawned again and tried to smother it with my hand. Maybe I should do what Shep suggested and hire a nanny or a babysitter.
Would he be interested?
Before I could stop them, my eyes closed, and I was out.
The soundof Emilia’s cry startled me awake, and I immediately looked in the Pack and Play. But she wasn’t crying. Must have been a very vivid dream.
How had I fallen asleep with a stranger in my home with my child?
I rubbed my eyes and sighed, trying to calm my racing heart.. I clearly needed to get my shit together. What if something had happened? I knew nothing about Rhys.
So why were you comfortable enough to fall asleep with him in your house?
I didn”t have an answer to that, and now wasn”t the time to figure it out.
I glanced over at her again and shook my head. Emilia was still asleep? I glanced down at my fitness watch and my eyes widened.
Holy crap! I”d been asleep for almost three hours. I glanced at the basinet and got on my feet, laying my hand gently on her chest. I let out another breath at the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest.
I tried not to panic at the fact I”d fallen asleep and left my kid with a total stranger.
Was he still in the house?
Did I want him to be?
I glanced at Emilia one last time before grabbing the baby monitor I kept in here. When I switched it on and left the room, I immediately heard music playing towards the back of the house and followed the sound to the kitchen. Woah, what was that smell?
I stopped in the doorway, trying to decide how I felt about the whole situation, when I heard his voice. “You may as well come on in. I can hear you breathing out there.”
My brow shot up at his words as I padded into the kitchen.
“You heard me breathing?” I asked, brow raised even as I scanned the state of my kitchen. “Don”t you mean you heard my footsteps?”
“Of course,” he nodded. “That”s what I meant.”
My eyes narrowed because I had the distinct feeling I was missing something.
“I hope you like baked chicken and rice,” Rhys glanced up, but his eyes didn”t quite meet mine. “It”s all you had in the fridge.”
I snorted, causing the red staining to appear on his cheeks. “Okay, you didn”t have chicken thighs, so I had someone run some over.” He shrugged, but it wasn”t as nonchalant as he was going for. “It”s no big deal. They came from the family freezer. Didn”t have to buy it or anything.”
I was tempted to stay silent, to let him keep babbling. I had to admit; it was very cute.
“It smells great,” I said.
His head came up and his smile this time was genuine.
“I can”t remember the last time I didn”t eat something that came out of a take out container or from the microwave.” If it wasn”t takeout, which thankfully this town had, it was a ready meal I grabbed from the supermarket.
“I”ll just go wash up,” I said, and placed the baby monitor on the counter. “Do you mind listening for Emilia?”
The smile he graced me with took over and lit up his face. It was like a ray of sunshine breaking through the clouds after a summer storm. You would think I’d offered the man a million dollars the way his eyes crinkled up at the outside corners, his mouth stretched open to show his teeth.
It was warm and kind and lit a fire in every cell of my body. And I knew that was my cue to get the hell out of there.
“You’ve already managed to get her to sleep longer than I have. If you”re not careful, I may not let you leave.”
Rhys” eyes widened, and I didn”t think it was possible for anyone to turn that shade of red, but he managed it.
I couldn”t believe I”d even said those words. Probably the sleep deprivation. Nothing more.
The familiar warmth I’d felt around him returned, so I left the kitchen before I said something else that I shouldn”t.
Heading up the stairs and into my bedroom, I glanced longingly at my bed. I hadn”t managed a full night in it yet, but maybe if Rhys shared his baby secrets or keeps coming over, I might actually get a full night’s sleep.
I ignored that voice, especially when the image of Rhys in bed with me flashed in my head.
“Shower,” I muttered. Stripping off, I walked into the massive shower attached to my bedroom. I could tell it too had been recently renovated. Probably by Jayson, to prepare for him and Leanne to come home. I shook off that thought and the dull ache from losing my sister, too. All I needed to do was shower, get dressed, have a nice meal, and pray that Emilia stays asleep long enough for me to get some more rest.
Just the long nap had me feeling refreshed, like I hadn”t felt in days. A full night and I could be ready to run a marathon.
I took my time in the shower, letting the hot water cascade over me, washing away the sweat and grime of the last couple of days. My thoughts kept drifting back to Rhys, and I couldn”t help but wonder what it would be like to have him in the shower with me. I shook my head, trying to dispel the thoughts. This was not the time or place for that kind of thinking.
I hurried through the rest of my shower, scrubbing until I finally felt clean. I rinsed off quickly and got out, not letting my thoughts stray for a second before other parts of my body took notice.
I”d just wrapped a towel around my waist when I thought I heard Emilia cry. I wrapped the towel around my waist and rushed down the stairs. Closing the distance to the kitchen, I walked in to find Rhys bouncing her while muttering at the bottle warmer to hurry up.
“Every okay down here?”
Rhys spun around and his mouth opened after his eyes went wide. Only a squeak came out as his eyes traveled down my chest, over my abs, and down to the hint of my happy trail before coming back up to meet gaze.
I was wrong. He could get redder.
And it shouldn”t have tickled me so much, but it had been a while since anyone had looked at me like that, and Rhys was very attractive.
Aware of the effect I had on him, I walked over to them. I could swear he wasn”t breathing. I rubbed Emilia”s back, and she quieted down a little.
Rhys cleared his throat, although I noticed his eyes were now firmly fixed on the bottle warmer. “I changed her diaper, but I wasn”t sure if you wanted to give her a bath. She’s hungry, so I grabbed a bottle from the fridge.”
“Thank you.” I said, trailing a finger down her baby soft skin. “I”ll just go get dressed.”
Rhys nodded but didn”t take his eyes off the bottle warmer. I leaned in and placed a kiss on Mia”s cheek. If it brought me closer to Rhys, well, that was a total coincidence.
As I headed up the stairs to get dressed, a voice in my head warned me that I could possibly be insane. But all I could do was smile. It was a relief to know I had a small break to get myself together without worrying. And Rhys was her family.
Sure, he seemed like a genuinely good guy, and the way he cared for Emilia was heartwarming.
When did you get so trusting, McCarthy?
Get it together.
With that thought, I grabbed the first pair of jeans in the dresser and a clean shirt to throw on. I didn”t even bother with moisturizer.
Once I was dressed, I made my way back to the kitchen. Rhys was feeding Emilia as she held onto his fingers while she took her bottle. He looked down at her with a soft smile while she fixed her gaze on him. It almost felt like I was intruding on a private moment between a parent and their child, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
Glancing at the table, I noticed Rhys had set it, as the delectable aroma made my stomach growl. He had even filled a glass of water for me.
“Thanks,” I said, taking a seat at the table. I wasn”t sure if I was thanking him for the food or taking care of Emilia like she was his.
She”s not, she”s yours.
I was tempted to take Emilia from him, but she was already halfway through the bottle and she seemed content to be in his arms. It would be terrible to interrupt her dinner.
Rhys sat across from me. “She’s almost finished,” he said softly. “You don”t have to wait on me to eat.”
I nodded and got up to make my plate. I had to admit, the smell of chicken and rice was even more irresistible now that I was clean and dressed.
“It smells amazing,” I said as I served myself.
“Thanks,” Rhys replied, looking pleased. “I hope you like it.”
When I sat back down with my plate, I took a bite and closed my eyes in bliss. It was so much better than anything I”d eaten in days.
“This is incredible,” I said, opening my eyes to look at Rhys.
“I”m glad you like it.” His eyes lit up with pleasure.
As I ate, I watched as he expertly burped Emilia. He got up and placed her in the swing he’d brought into the kitchen. Securing her inside, he flipped the switch as the gentle swinging motion seemed to delight her.
“There you go, sweet girl. Now you can see your daddy while he has his dinner.”
Warmth spread through me again as I looked at the scene before me. It became clear to me that I needed a partner to share this with.
“It looked like you wanted her close,” he said, smiling at me.
I nodded. “Thank you.” I couldn”t help wondering if I was that easy to read or if it was just this man.
Rhys helped himself to some food and when he returned to the table and sat across from me, we ate in silence for a while, until I broke it. “I guess you came over for a reason.”
Rhys glanced up at me, looking confused for a second, then his eyes widened and he nodded.
“Yeah. Yes.” he nodded, putting his fork down. “I came over to welcome you to town. My family”s like—” he paused, seemingly searching for the right word. “I guess we”ve just always been here, so we look out for everyone. And you’re here in Jayson’s house, so it even more important.”
I studied him for a second. “Why does it feel like there”s more to it this time?” I asked.
He smiled lightly as he considered what to say. “Jayson was our cousin.”
It felt like a sucker punch hearing those words. My eyes immediately went to Emilia. I guess technically he wasn”t a stranger.
“He was my best friend and brother-in-law,” I managed to get out.
Rhys cleared his throat, and my eyes returned to him. “We didn”t hear… it was late.” He blew out a breath and sighed. “My brother used to be Jay”s next of kin, but when he got married, that changed. Of course you know that, he married your sister.” He sighed and put his fork down. He looked up at me with such empathy in his eyes. “We’d have been there if we’d known,” he said, his voice filled with guilt. “When we found out… we didn”t know he was…” He paused, then started again. “We didn’t know anything had happened to him until the lawyer in town told us and we couldn”t get any information from the military since he?—”
“He got married to my sister,” I finished for him.
He nodded, “Exactly. We didn”t even know he got married, although he kept saying he had a massive surprise for us. He had us renovate the house. Well, Nash and Papa really.”
His eyes wandered over to Emilia, “Guess he meant the little one and?—”
“Lee,” I supplied for him. “Leanne.” Rhys nodded.
I furrowed my brow as he looked at her. How did he know she wasn’t mine?
“How do you know she’s not mine?”
Rhys smiled at me, then looked back at Emilia. “She looks exactly like him.”
I’d never paid attention to who she might look like, but now that I looked at her closely, she did resemble Jay more than Leanne.
“Like I said earlier. You’re a good man. And she knows it.”
I shifted in my seat, a little uncomfortable that he could read me so easily.“Bet you”re wondering how I ended up here.” I tried for light, but I wasn”t sure I had quite hit the mark.
Rhys gave me that knowing smile. “I think I have a pretty good idea,” he said.
I snorted, “Well you”re ahead of me then cause I still can”t figure it out.” I pushed my hand through my hair and sighed. “Tell me how does someone lose their best friend and their sister in less than six months? And not only that, but they leave you their baby and made sure you knew they wanted you to take her and move to the middle of nowhere.”
He nodded, and the look of empathy was back. He really was a carrying person. And he would understand my pain.
“Sorry I didn”t mean—” I rubbed the back of my neck and blew out a breath. “It”s really beautiful out here.”
Rhys laughed that time. “You don’t need to apologize, Jaxson. And I love it here, but I know it takes some getting used to. It”s no…”
He trailed off, the open-ended question in his voice.
“Chicago,” I supplied.
He nodded, “Well at least the snow won”t be a shock to you.”
“Thank God for small mercies,” I bantered back.
We sat in silence, unsure what to say and taking in the light moment.
“So Jay was your best friend, huh?”
I nodded.
“And you were his cousin,” I tacked on. “What does that make us?”
“Family,” Rhys said simply.
I wasn”t sure the thought I was having towards this man was appropriate for family, but I decided now wasn”t the time to look too closely at that. But I had to admit hearing there was family close by, the boulder that had been pressing down on my chest might have gotten a little lighter.
“So if you need any help, any help at all, just ask,” Rhys said. I looked into his eyes and I could see the sincerity in them. He wasn’t paying lip service, he clearly meant it.
I leaned forward. “Well, I guess that means you have to give me your number.” My voice came out a little deeper and a little flirty. I was chucking it up to the high altitude and getting more than an hour of sleep at a time.
Did Montana even have high altitude?
Emilia babbled as the swing pushed her back and forth. I just might have to buy a one of those for every room.
“It”s good to know there”ll be people here that can tell her about her dad too.”
Rhys smiled, but it was sad. “I will not be telling her about the time I followed Jayson and Hunter into the woods. Hunter”s my older brother. He”s the town sheriff.”
There was a wealth of pride in that sentence and I felt a pang, because that had been Leanne whenever she talked about me.
I swallowed, trying to clear the tightness in my chest.
“Why won”t you be telling her about the time you followed them into the woods?” We both knew it was a distraction, but Rhys didn”t call me on it.
“Bats,” he said simply.
I raised a brow, even as a memory tugged at my brain.
“Bats,” I repeated.
“Yup.” He nodded, but it was followed by a full body shudder.
I held up my hand as a thought entered my mind. “Hold on, I think I know this story.”
Rhys eyes widened, “What?”
“Jayson used to tell this story about his cousins.” I nodded at the memory coming back, “He said something about how one of you got scared by a bat in the woods and ran to him screaming leaving a trail off pee the entire way until you got to him.”
Rhys groaned and ducked his head. “That would be me.”
I chuckled, “I never believed him of course.”
Rhys groaned and sighed. “Trust me, it happened. I lived it. Still not a fan of bats.”
I shook my head. “There”s no way. It literally only makes sense if you”d been running through the woods buck naked. Literally with no pants on.”
Rhys laughs, but I could see he wouldn’t meet my eyes anymore. “Of course you”re right. Why would I be running around the woods with no pants on? That”s not normal behavior.”
Yet again, I couldn”t put my finger on why it felt that way, but I was definitely missing something. I planned to figure out what.
“Guess we”re not strangers then,” I said.
“Guess not,” Rhys replied.
I was definitely looking forward to getting better acquainted with him. Maybe Asheville, Montana, was finally looking up.