23. Jaxson

Lying in the darkened hotel room, I felt completely hollow. Rhys had filled my life with so much love and excitement, but now it was all gone. I wondered if this was how my sister had felt when she lost Jayson.

You’ve not lost hima voice that sounded surprisingly like Leanne said. She kinda sounded pissed.

I tried to imagine the depth of her pain and how she managed to survive it, but I wasn’t sure I could. The weight of my grief felt unbearable, closing in on me until I could barely breathe. And Rhys was still here.

My thoughts suddenly shifted to Jayson. Could he have been like Rhys? They were cousins, after all. Wouldn’t that mean they were the same…species? As the idea took root, I realized something that caused me to sit up.

Leanne had insisted Emilia grow up in Asheville. The only reason she would have made that stipulation was because she had known. She had to have known that there was a 50/50 chance her daughter would grow up to be one of them.

That meant she’d known what Jayson was, and Emilia, but loved him anyway.

Just like you love Rhys, dummy!

That realization hit me like a punch to the gut.

Leanne had kept this secret, just like Rhys had. Just like Jayson had for as long as we’d been friends.

She had known about the possibility, about the world I was now thrust into. I felt a surge of anger mixed with confusion. How could she keep something so significant from me? How could Rhys?

Had he thought about the damage a secret like that could do? Okay, so he didn’t tell me immediately, but I looked back at our early moments through new eyes. It had eaten him up inside.

So you could love him anyway, you mean… and wasn’t that manipulative?

“Fuck!” I pushed my hand through my hair and growled.

Rhys wasn’t manipulative, a voice whispered. This one was all me.

And beneath the anger, there was also a glimmer of understanding. Leanne had loved Jayson, and she must have understood the risks and accepted them. I wasn’t sure how I would have reacted if Jay had ever told me about himself. And to my shame, that made feel like an ass. The man had saved my life more times than I could count.

Leanne must have thought I could handle this… and understand. That I could come to terms with this hidden reality. Just like she had.

She hadn’t foreseen Rhys, though. I tried to imagine my life without him for the last few months. He’d made everything better in every single way.

I looked over at Emilia, finally asleep on the bed, her little chest rising and falling with each breath. The anger and confusion I’d been feeling melted away, replaced by a fierce protectiveness. She was my niece, my family, and I had to make sense of this for her sake. And yours. I had to figure out how to move forward, even if it meant facing fears I never knew I had.

As I lay there, staring at the ceiling, the weight of my realization settled in. My life had changed irrevocably, but it wasn’t over. I had to find a way to understand this new world, to protect Emilia and the baby Rhys was carrying. I had to find a way to reconcile my love for Rhys with the fear and betrayal I felt.

Did he even betray me, though?

I glanced at the crib again. If Rhys was a monster, that meant Jayson was. And so would Emilia. Those were words I’d never associate with my best friend… my daughter and the love of my life?

I thought of Rhys” face when I’d called him that, not to mention pointed a gun at him.

Fuck!

A bear! A really large bear!

Rhys!

“Fuck!”

He would forgive me for pointing a gun at him, right?

Did I want him to?

I groaned. I hated not having an answer because the road ahead felt so uncertain. I hated all of this. All these questions and doubts. But for Emilia, for my family, I had to try to get past it. So I took a deep breath. We needed to go home. And I needed to talk to Rhys.