Chapter Four

Elise

I wake with my alarm screaming at me and I know immediately something is off. I sit up abruptly to find that I am naked. I have an unmistakable taste of come in my mouth and my sheets have been changed. I had the most vivid dream of getting throat fucked by Lucian, but something tells me that wasn’t a dream. Surprisingly enough, I hope it wasn’t.

This entire community is hiding something. Much deeper than them just publicly fucking. There are secrets here and somehow it involves me. No one has mentioned my mother, even though everyone grew up here. They would’ve known her. Although, I have not asked anyone. Also, if Aunt Jennifer lived here, does that mean that she also was publicly fucked? How many of these people have seen my aunt get railed? She did have cancer, so maybe no one.

I lay back and look at the ceiling for a while. I can’t get Lucian’s mouth out of my mind. The way he pulled an orgasm out of me was done with ease. If my dream was real, he also ate me out while I slept. I usually have violent nightmares, and the medicine is to keep me from waking. I would go days without sleeping because all I could picture was Darnell and his fucked-up son.

Reluctantly, I get out of bed and pull on some clothes. I feel surprisingly refreshed and I can only assume that the lack of nightmares helped tremendously. When I step out of the house, I immediately put in my earbuds when I see Laura and Lucian talking in front of her house.

I don’t know how to feel about what I saw, so I am just going to pretend that everything is normal. She must be going the same route, because she waves happily at me, like I didn’t see her repeatedly come last night.

I roll my eyes when Lucian and Laura set into jogging with me. I don’t focus on them because, again, I don’t know what to think about what I saw. How do I ask him if he put his dick in my mouth while I slept? Maybe him getting me off just replaced my nightmares with vivid dreams of him using me as his personal sex doll.

Fuck… That would be hot as hell. To be helpless but respected while he used my body is my new secret fantasy, apparently. As I run, I think about that dream and the desperation behind his strokes. The moans he made when I sucked him harder. If he asked me right now, I would be eager to get on my knees for him.

I abruptly stop and turn to Laura and Lucian when they are still merely feet behind me. “What gives? Why are you two being creeps?”

“What do you mean?” Laura asks. “He and I run every morning. We all…”

“Cut the crap,” I say. “What’s going on?”

“On with what?” Lucian asks. I groan dramatically and throw my hands up before turning and jogging again. I put my earbuds back in, but do not resume listening to music. I can hardly hear them, but I stop and turn again when I hear my name.

“You two are so fucking annoying. You know that, right?” I ask.

“Something on your mind?” Lucian asks.

“Laura here is pretending like we didn’t see what we both know we saw. You… well, you are just a pain in my ass,” I say, and he smiles.

“I can be… If you think you can handle it,” he says.

“Perv,” I say, rolling my eyes.

“Mmmm. If I remember correctly, you were the one begging to come, so what does that make you?” he asks.

“Stupid,” I say flatly. “Lucky for me, I’m a quick learner.”

“So, anyway,” Laura says. “Want to get some coffee later?”

“You gonna have your clothes on this time?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes. I’ll have my clothes on,” she giggles.

“Okay,” I say. “I’m going to the library again later, so meet me at the coffee shop next door at say… noon?” I ask.

“Sounds good,” she says. “I’ll jog the other way, since clearly you two need to talk.”

“His version of talking involved him and his hands inside of me,” I say. “I’ll pass.”

“Come on,” he laughs. “I’ll keep my hands to myself.” I sigh and nod. We wave Laura off before I turn and start jogging again.

“What’s wrong?” he asks after a minute.

“You,” I reply simply.

“Me? What did I do?” he asks, laughing. I stop and turn to him with my eyes narrowed. “Not sleep well?”

“Slept fine actually,” I say. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just curious is all,” he says.

“Did you expect me to not sleep well?”

“Maybe. Maybe not. Thought I’d ask,” he says.

“Hey, guys,” Bradley Jenkins says. Bradley lives on the other side of Lucian and is the one who seems to dislike me the most, other than Carol. He has never spoken a word to me until now.

“Hi,” I say with a warm smile.

“Hey, man,” Lucian says, and then turns to me. “This is Bradley.”

“I know,” I smirk.

“Oh?” he says, raising an eyebrow.

“Mhmm. Hacked Carol’s computer and memorized everyone’s names,” I say coolly.

“I’m sorry. You did what?” Lucian asks, shocked. Bradley laughs when I shake my head at him with a smile.

“Everyone has their names on the mailboxes, dipshit,” I laugh. “I run five miles a day. I’m bound to pick up on a few things.”

“You have a smart mouth, Elise,” Lucian says, narrowing his eyes at me.

“Mmm. Don’t ya wish you knew how to make it stop?” I ask.

“I could think of a few ways,” he grumbles.

“Keep telling yourself that, Luci. Maybe it will come true one day,” I say sweetly.

“You annoy me,” he frowns.

“Ah, see… if you left me alone, maybe you wouldn’t get annoyed,” I suggest.

“I mean… she’s not wrong,” Bradley laughs. “It’s refreshing to see someone take you down a notch.”

“Tell me something, Bradley,” I say. “How would you like it if every time you turned around, there was someone you had repeatedly told to go away just… watching you?”

“Depends,” he says.

“On what?” I ask.

“Well… Do I like the attention? Do I feel safe? Why am I telling them to go away?” he lists. “Most importantly though… am I actually resistant to them as a person or to the idea that someone wants to be near me? Maybe I have abandonment issues, so I reject everyone to avoid getting hurt.”

“And here I thought you were on my side,” I say and Lucian laughs.

“Face it, Elise,” Bradley says. “You say you want him to go away, but you don’t actually mean it. It’s a reflex you learned a long time ago because it kept you from getting attached.”

“Ah, yes,” I say. “Because when I do, they die of cancer without telling me anything about who I am.”

“I sense we changed subjects,” he says.

“She’s trying to find out more about her family,” Lucian says.

“Jennifer Hart, correct?” Bradley asks.

“Mhmm,” I say. “Supposedly, I was born here in Maple Falls. I was dropped off at a fire station about an hour away.”

“Interesting,” he says. “Maybe you could check the census for the year you were born and track her family that way. Maple Falls does a separate census from what the government requires. People are a bit more forthcoming with that one since it’s for local records, not for reporting.”

“I asked the lady at the library, and she said she would check,” I say.

“It’s in a separate room. She doesn’t have a key to it,” Lucian says.

“Who does then?” I ask.

“Me,” he says with a smile.

“Am I going to have to learn how to pick locks, or will you help me?” I ask.

“Are you asking or demanding?” he asks.

“Fine,” I sigh. “Lucian, would you mind unlocking the secret room in the library so I can maybe find my mother?”

“I’d love to, but I have to be with you,” he says. “I’ll drive.”

“Yeah, that feels like a trap,” I laugh.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself, if that makes you feel better,” he says.

“Pretty sure she’d feel better if you didn’t keep your hands to yourself,” Bradley chuckles.

“Please, can you just show me the room?” I ask Lucian.

“I’ll show you the room,” he says with a smile. “I do still have to be there. There are other records there that you are not allowed to see.”

“I don’t want to be involved in whatever sketchy shit you all have going on,” I say.

“What does that mean?” he asks.

“Nothing,” I say. “May I finish my run now?”

“You may,” he says seriously. I shake my head at him while putting my earbuds in. When I turn back and start jogging, I force myself not to pay attention to his location. I don’t want to know if he’s following me. I just want to block out the world and run.

Once I finish my jog, I go home and change into a sundress after taking a quick shower. I find myself double checking my appearance and quickly curse myself for it. It’s already bad enough that I intentionally didn’t wear panties. I know the man is going to touch me, but in my defense, I don’t want him stealing more of my underwear. This way, I don’t lose any articles of clothing.

When I go outside, Lucian has changed into faded jeans and T-shirt that highlights his muscles perfectly. Fuck, why does he have to be so damn sexy? It would be easier to hate him if he was ugly and obsessive. Sexy and obsessive just makes me want to bow to his authority. Unfortunately, Bradley is right though. I am so closed off because it’s easier than getting hurt. If Lucian wants me, he’s going to have to break down a lot of barriers to get to me.

“You look beautiful,” he says casually. “Ready?”

“Uh. Yeah,” I say. I walk with him to his house, and he goes to his porch. “What are you doing?”

“Going in the garage from inside,” he says. “Unless you would rather wait here for me to open the door.”

“No, that’s fine,” I say. He nods and I follow him into the house. His house is large and elegant. As we walk through, I am in awe of the beauty and size of this place. “You have a beautiful home.”

“Thank you,” he says as we walk into the garage. “As do you.”

“Thank you,” I say. “Wait… how do you know what my house looks like?”

“Do you really want an answer to that, Elise?” he asks, pulling the passenger door open to his Audi.

“Kind of,” I say.

“How do you think I know what your house looks like?” he questions.

“I don’t know how to answer that without sounding like a nutcase,” I say honestly.

“Meaning?”

“Sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between a dream and reality,” I say vaguely.

“I understand,” he says. “We can discuss it another time when you are less reluctant.”

I nod and sit in the car. When he gets in, he opens the garage and we pull out into the street. We are quiet as he drives, and I focus on the town passing by. I look over at him and he has a pleasant look on his face. He is comfortable with my presence, and I am finding that I am with his as well. It makes me consider Bradley’s questions.

I do like the attention he gives me, if I’m being honest. I do feel safe or I wouldn’t allow myself to be alone with him like this. I don’t know why I feel like pushing him away. Other than being persistent, he hasn’t done anything wrong, per se. I am resistant to everyone, so I don’t think it’s actually him. I definitely have abandonment issues. It’s the main reason I’ve been broken up with. It makes me overly paranoid, so I just avoid connections all around. I have inadvertently made myself a loner by trying to avoid getting hurt.

“Something on your mind, Elise?” Lucian asks, glancing at me.

“Laura said you own most of Maple Falls. Is that true?” I ask.

“I do,” he says.

“So are you like the mayor or something?” I ask.

“I suppose so. It’s generational, so I would say I am more of a leader. I have people who advise me on things, like Bradley. Carol is in charge of keeping the community orderly, but she doesn’t have nearly as much power as she thinks she does,” he explains.

“Does Carol get railed in public too?” I ask. “Don’t answer that.”

“Was that a genuine question or was that your way of trying to make a stab at what you were a part of last night?” he asks.

“I don’t know, honestly. I don’t know what to even make of that, so I am ignoring it,” I say. “She wasn’t down there, so I assume she isn’t a part of it.”

“She is witness to a lot of things, but she doesn’t participate anymore. Not since her husband passed a few years ago,” Lucian says.

“So… I don’t know how to word my thoughts,” I say. “What exactly was that?”

“That was one of many things we do,” he says. “Sometimes everyone has a partner. Sometimes it’s a celebration. Sometimes it’s a punishment. As a community, we are very open sexually. Within reason, of course. Participants have to be of age, and everyone has to be consenting.”

“I feel like that is a very vague overview,” I reply.

“Extremely vague, but I will explain more as I think you are ready,” he says as he shifts the car into park.

“Why not explain it all now?” I ask.

“Because you’ll run,” he says bluntly. “Let’s go.”

I sigh heavily and get out of the car. We go inside and the same lady from yesterday greets us. “Hello,” she says happily.

“Hi, Barbara. We are going to be in the files room,” he says, and she nods. I follow Lucian down, and we go to the the far corner of the basement. He unlocks the door, and we walk in. It’s a small room with shelves lining the walls with a square table in the center with one chair.

“What year were you born?” Lucian asks. “1999, right?”

“Yeah,” I say. “You grew up here, right?”

“I did,” he says as he starts searching the shelves.

“So you know the information I am looking for,” I say.

“Partially,” he says. “But I don’t want to say anything without all of the answers to the questions that you’ll ask. It’s easier if I help you find the answers on your own.”

“Is that code for saying you don’t want me to know?” I ask. He stops and turns to me, and I suddenly feel bad for implying he has malicious intentions.

“Elise, I lost my mother to a car wreck when I was three. I would give anything to find the answers to my questions about her. If I can help you find the answers to things I also questioned, I want to do it. There are no strings attached to that offer, despite what you are making yourself think,” he says. “I know I overwhelm you sometimes, but I do have your best interests at heart.”

“I appreciate that,” I say. He turns back and pulls a box out and brings it over to set it on the table.

“This should be it,” he says.

“What exactly am I looking for here?” I ask.

“Find Jennifer and look at her family information. I’ll find the box for the year Jennifer was born,” he says.

“How do you…”

“Because Jennifer and Carol grew up together,” he says. “They were best friends.”

Now I feel bad for being a cunt to Carol… She lost her husband, and then her friend. Why can’t people just tell me the answers? I guess it’s my fault because I haven’t actually asked anyone anything about her. I cannot expect people to just tell me. Not everyone wants people to just throw information out at them like that.

I search through the names until I find Jennifer Hart. I read the paper repeatedly, growing more confused by the second. It says that she had no relatives alive the year I was born. If she didn’t have any family, then either I am not actually her family, and we just happen to have the same last name or…

“Oh my God,” I whisper.

Lucian sets another box down before taking the paper out of my hand. “Keep looking,” he says softly.

I go to the next box and go through the same process. I find Jennifer Diane Hart. She was born January 15 th , 1973. She has Phillip and Diane listed as her parents, but they both died the same year. She had no siblings listed at the time of her birth. I lay that down and find Diane Hart. She died at twenty-three. Her cause of death is listed as murder and had one child at the time of her death. I go to Phillip Hart and he is listed as deceased at the age of thirty of suicide, also with only one child.

“This… No,” I say as tears well. “No, this can’t be right.”

“Explain what you found,” Lucian says.

“Aunt Jennifer… Her parents died when she was six months old. Her mom of murder and her dad of suicide on the same day. She has no siblings,” I say. “If she didn’t have a sister… Then Aunt Jennifer is my mother.”

“Jennifer is your mother,” he says. He puts his hands on my shoulders, and I close my eyes to try to calm myself down.

“Why didn’t she just tell me that?” I ask, trying not to openly cry. “Why did she lie?”

“I’m sure she had her reasons,” he says. “Jennifer was a kind woman. If she lied, which she did, then she had to have a reason.”

“Did you know about me?” I ask, with venom sneaking into my voice as I open my eyes.

“No one did,” he says. “When Jennifer died, no one was expecting you to show up. We didn’t know she had a niece or a daughter.”

“Did no one know she was pregnant?” I ask.

“You’ll have to ask Carol if she remembers, but not that I’ve heard,” he says. “I’ve been trying to figure out why no one knew about you, but she obviously kept you a secret for a reason.”

“Why bring me back here, though? I knew when she passed I was getting her home, but she never went into detail. After all of this time, why did she even reach out?”

“I don’t know,” he says. “I will look through Dad’s notes and see if I can’t find something.”

“All of her stuff is still at the house, so I can go through that to see if maybe there is anything that can give me an idea of who my biological father is,” I say. “I guess I will have to talk to Carol, but I doubt she will give me anything.”

“She will. Especially when she finds out that you’re Jennifer’s daughter,” Lucian says confidently.

“Pretty sure she hates me,” I say. “Actually, I am pretty sure most everyone hates me.”

“No one hates you. They are just reluctant to trust people. Carol is protective of Jennifer’s memory, so with no one knowing that you existed, Carol was afraid that you had lied or tricked her somehow into getting everything when she died.”

“I guess I can understand that,” I say with a sigh. “Thank you for helping me.”

“You are welcome,” Lucian says with a warm smile.

“You are still a pain in my ass,” I say, matching his smile.

I am pacing in my living room, waiting for Lucian and Carol to get here. Laura is watching me, but eventually steps in front of me to make me stop. “You are making me nervous,” she laughs. “Carol is sweet. She will give you the information you are asking for.”

“I was mean to her,” I say. “Many, many times.”

“I’m mean to her all the time. It’s a thing. Just breathe,” she says. The doorbell rings and I sigh before walking over to open it.

“Hello,” Lucian says with a smile.

“Ms. Hart,” Carol says simply.

“Come in,” I say as I step to the side.

“Lucian said you needed to speak with me?” she says when we all sit down.

“Yeah. I’m not good at this, so I’m just going to blurt it out, and we can go from there,” I say.

“I suppose that works,” she remarks.

“I’ve been searching for answers about my birth family. Lucian helped me today with old census records for the town and… Jennifer wasn’t my aunt,” I say.

“I know…” she starts to say.

“Jennifer was… is my mother. She is the one who dropped me at the fire station,” I say. “She had no siblings. Her parents only had one child. She told me she was my aunt, but she lied. Lucian said that if she lied, there had to be a good reason for it. I know I was conceived around her twenty-fifth birthday. When I was dropped off at the fire station, she left all of my information with them. My name, date and time of birth, birth weight and height, and information about her pregnancy like gestation and any complications she had. I was born at forty weeks on Halloween in 1999, so I was conceived around mid-January when she turned twenty-five.”

“Oh dear,” Carol says with a sad tone.

“What? What does oh dear mean?” I ask.

“Elise, honey,” she sighs. “Your mother, Jennifer, was raped on her twenty-fifth birthday.”

“Oh shit,” Lucian says, shocked.

“Was she dating anyone then? Maybe it was someone she was dating and not who raped her,” Laura suggests.

“She wasn’t dating anyone. She and I told each other everything. She would have told me if she was having sex with anyone,” Carol says, wiping a fallen tear away.

“That’s why she gave me up,” I say quietly. “I reminded her of the rape.”

“I don’t know why she wouldn’t have told me she was pregnant. I would have gladly helped find you a home, rather than her dropping you off somewhere,” Carol says. “When you were born… That was when she was out of town. She said it was for work, but I thought maybe she was just going through another depressive episode. She was so distant the first year after the rape… I guess now I know why.”

“I don’t understand why she went out of her way to find me, though,” I say. “When she found me, she had already been diagnosed with cancer.”

“She might have wanted to do something for you without having to relive the rape,” Laura says. “She didn’t want to die with the guilt of giving you up, so that was her way of trying to make up for it.”

“I want to be angry with her, but I can’t imagine having to be reminded of my rape every time I looked at my child,” I say.

“Question is… Who raped your mother?” Lucian asks.

“I’m going to go through her things that I have stored, and see if I can find anything,” I say.

“She wrote a lot, so see if maybe you can find journals,” Carol says.

“Was she happy?” I ask.

“She struggled occasionally, but she was happy,” Carol says. “She never married or had kids, but she worked a lot with local children at the elementary school.”

“I feel like there is a lot more to this,” I sigh.

“I agree,” Carol says. “But she never did anything without a reason.”

“So, she wanted me to be here,” I suggest.

“I’d say she did,” Carol says. “We just need to figure out why.”