9. Santino

CHAPTER 9

SANTINO

T he day I've been dreading and anticipating in equal measure dawns cold and gray, the wind off the lake carrying the bite of impending winter. It feels fitting, the bleak weather mirroring the heaviness in my chest, the sense of finality that sits like a stone in my gut.

Today is the day I turn myself in, the day I face the consequences of a lifetime of sin and violence. The day I leave behind the two brightest lights in my world, trusting in the love we've built to guide me through the dark times ahead.

Aaron finds me in the kitchen, staring into the depths of my coffee mug like it holds the secrets of the universe. He comes up behind me, slipping his arms around my waist and pressing a tender kiss to the nape of my neck.

"Hey," he murmurs, his breath warm against my skin. "You ready for this?"

I lean back into his solid strength, letting his presence soothe the ragged edges of my nerves. "No," I answer honestly, my voice rough with the emotions I'm trying to hold at bay. "I'll never be ready to leave you and Matteo, even if it's the right thing to do. The only thing."

He turns me gently in his arms, cupping my jaw and tipping my face up to meet his steady, loving gaze. "It's not forever, Santino. You're coming back to us, to the life we're going to build together. This is just a detour, a necessary step on the path to our future."

I search his eyes, marveling at the depth of faith and devotion I find there. "How do you do that?" I wonder aloud, brushing my thumb over the delicate skin beneath his eye. "How do you always know exactly what I need to hear, exactly how to make the darkness seem a little less consuming?"

He smiles at me, soft and sweet, and presses a lingering kiss to my palm. "Because I love you, Santino Ricci. Because I believe in you, in us, with everything I am. And because I know, bone-deep, that our story doesn't end here. It's only just beginning."

Emotion swells in my chest, hot and bright and almost painful in its intensity. I crush my mouth to his, pouring every ounce of love and gratitude and desperate, aching need into the slick slide of our lips. He opens for me beautifully, his tongue tangling with mine as he surrenders to the kiss, to the heat that sparks between us like a living flame.

I walk him backwards until he's pressed against the kitchen counter, my knee slotting between his thighs as I grind our hardening cocks together. He gasps into my mouth, his fingers tangling in my hair, tugging just hard enough to send sparks of pleasure-pain dancing down my spine.

"Santino," he breathes when I break away to trail open-mouthed kisses down the column of his throat. "Baby, we shouldn't...Matteo will be up soon, and the lawyers..."

"I need you," I rasp against the thundering pulse in his neck. "Need to be inside you, Aaron. One last time before I go, I need to feel you around me, need to memorize every inch of you. Please, tesoro. Let me have this, let me love you."

He shudders against me, his legs falling open in silent invitation. "Yes," he whispers, his eyes dark and glassy with desire. "Yes, Santino. Take what you need, take all of me. I'm yours, always."

I groan low in my throat, desire and possession and bone-deep adoration surging through my veins like wildfire. I strip him with eager, reverent hands, baring his body to my hungry gaze. He's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, all lean muscle and smooth, golden skin, his cock flushed and heavy against the cut of his hip.

I take my time preparing him, working him open on slick, clever fingers until he's writhing against the counter, broken pleas falling from his kiss-swollen lips. When I finally sink into the tight, slick heat of him, it feels like coming home, like finding absolution in the cradle of his body.

I make love to him slow and deep, pouring every ounce of my devotion into each rolling thrust, each drag of my lips over sweat-damp skin. He clings to me, his short nails scoring my back, his heels digging into the flexing muscles of my ass as he urges me deeper, harder.

"Never letting you go," I breathe into the hair's breadth of space between our mouths. "Never stop fighting to come back to you, Aaron. You're my heart, my home. My everything."

"Santino," he sobs, arching beneath me as I change the angle of my thrusts, hitting that spot inside him that makes him see stars. "My love, my forever. I'll wait for you, I'll be here. Always, I swear it."

We come together in a tangle of limbs and panting breaths, our releases pulsing hot and slick between our pressed bodies. I bury my face in the sweat-damp curve of his neck, breathing him in, letting his scent and his warmth imprint themselves on my very soul.

If I have to carry a piece of him with me into the cold, lonely years ahead, let it be this. Let it be the memory of his body joined with mine, his heart beating in time with my own.

Later, after we've cleaned up and dressed in somber suits, it's time for the goodbye I've been dreading most. Matteo, my bright, beautiful boy, looking up at me with wide, tear-filled eyes as he clutches his stuffed giraffe to his chest.

I kneel down to his level, gathering him into my arms and burying my nose in his soft, sweet-smelling hair. "I have to go away for a while, cucciolo," I murmur, my throat aching with unshed tears. "But I need you to know that it's not because I don't love you, okay? I love you so much, Matteo. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

He sniffles against my shoulder, his small hands fisting in the fabric of my jacket. "But why do you have to go, Uncle Santino? Is it because I was bad? I promise I'll be better, I'll be so good..."

"No, no, baby," I soothe, pulling back to cup his face in my hands, brushing away his tears with the pads of my thumbs. "You could never be bad, Matteo. You're perfect, exactly as you are. This...this is about me, about mistakes I made a long time ago. Mistakes I have to make right."

He bites his lip, his brow furrowed in concentration as he tries to understand. "Like when I broke Zia Gia's vase and had to apologize and help clean it up?"

A watery chuckle escapes me, amazement and pride welling in my chest. "Yeah, cucciolo. Just like that. I have to go apologize to some people I hurt, and do some things to make it better. But I promise you, I'm going to do everything in my power to come home to you as soon as I can. And until then, you've got Uncle Aaron and Zia Gia to take care of you, to love you even more than I do, if that's possible."

Matteo nods solemnly, throwing his arms around my neck in a fierce hug. "I love you, Uncle Santino," he whispers, his little voice wobbling. "I'll miss you every day. But it's okay, because I know you always keep your promises."

I close my eyes against the hot sting of tears, holding him tightly to me, memorizing the feel of his trusting weight in my arms. "I love you too, Matteo. More than all the stars in the sky. Be good for me, okay? Be brave and strong and so, so kind. Just like your dad was, just like your mom. They'd be so proud of you, cucciolo. Just like I am."

When the time comes, when the dark sedans pull up to the curb and the stern-faced agents step out, their hands resting on the butts of their holstered guns, it takes every ounce of strength I possess to let go of Matteo, to stand on trembling legs and face my fate with my head held high.

Aaron is there, his arm around Matteo's thin shoulders, his eyes bright with unshed tears as he meets my gaze. "We'll be here," he says, quiet and fierce. "Waiting for you, loving you. You're not alone in this, Santino. Not now, not ever."

I nod, not trusting myself to speak past the lump in my throat. I allow the agents to cuff my hands behind my back, to lead me down the walk towards the waiting car. But I keep my eyes on Aaron, on Matteo, drinking in the sight of them like a man dying of thirst.

They're my heart, my home. My reason for facing this uncertain future, for walking into the darkness with my head held high. They're the lights that will guide me through, the promises I'll cling to in the cold, lonely nights ahead.

As the car pulls away from the curb, I twist in my seat, watching Aaron and Matteo until they're nothing more than specks in the distance. Even then, I don't look away, their images seared onto the backs of my eyelids, tattooed onto my very soul.

"I'm coming back to you," I whisper, the words a vow, a prayer. "No matter how long it takes, no matter what I have to do. This isn't the end for us, my loves. It's only the beginning."

The holding cell is cold and gray, the bunk beneath me hard and unyielding. I lean my head back against the cinderblock wall, staring up at the water-stained ceiling as the reality of my situation sinks in like a lead weight in my stomach.

I'm alone here, cut off from everything and everyone I love. The next few years of my life will be defined by these three walls, by the clanging of metal doors and the barked orders of guards. By the heavy weight of regret, of atonement for the sins of my past.

But even in the midst of this bleakness, this desolation, there's a flicker of warmth in my chest. A tiny, stubborn ember of hope that refuses to be extinguished, no matter how dark the road ahead may seem.

Aaron. Matteo. The two halves of my heart, the anchors that tether me to the world beyond these bars. They're out there, waiting for me, loving me. Believing in the man I'm trying to become, the man I will be when I walk out of here a free man.

For them, I'll endure this trial. I'll face the demons of my past and the judgment of the law, I'll pay my debts and serve my time. I'll walk through the fire and come out the other side stronger, purer, worthy of the love they've given me so freely.

I close my eyes, picturing Aaron's face. The warm honey of his eyes, the crooked quirk of his smile. The way he looks at me like I'm something precious, something cherished, even with the blood and darkness of my history written on my skin.

"Wait for me, amore mio," I whisper into the stillness of the cell. "Hold on to my heart, to the promises we've made. I'm coming back to you, to the life we're going to build together. Just hold on a little longer."

The words are a lifeline, a talisman against the doubt and despair that nip at my heels. I repeat them like a mantra as the hours stretch into days, the days into weeks.

I love you. I'm coming back to you. Just hold on.

It's a long road ahead, a hard and lonely path to walk. But with Aaron's love to guide me, with Matteo's laughter ringing in my ears...

I know I can make it through. I know that this is only the beginning of our story, the first chapter in a love that will be spoken of in whispers and legend.

A love that will last forever, untouched by time or tide or the cold steel of prison bars.

A love worth fighting for, now and always.