7. Chapter Seven

Chapter Seven

Chase

Holy cow, I almost called him Daddy.

It was one thing to call David that but the meaning with Casey was completely different. It held weight and a deeper meaning and with David it was more of an acknowledgment of his role and my respect for it. Casey was so sad when I caught myself and quickly corrected to use his name.

Should I have called him Daddy?

My mom used to hang up every silly thing I made. She would smile and move the pictures around to make them fit and slide them into place just like a puzzle. The entire front of the fridge was covered in my hideous colorings and popsicle stick collages. Not a day went by that I didn't miss her. She was the best.

After her death, no more art went up.

No more toys were bought.

No more playtime was to be had.

Now, Casey was giving me a piece of my childhood back and I warred with myself over it. Why was it so hard to let go?

"What's got you so deep in thought, Chase?"

When had a plate of food been slid in front of me?

"I love spaghetti." That's what you came up with for a response? Really? And to think, you write songs for a living. That reply was anything but waxing poetic.

"Did you have fun coloring?"

"Yes," I whispered, staring blankly at my plate.

"Chase, it's okay to want these things. There's nothing wrong with it or with you. "

I glanced up at Spidey, still perched where I'd placed him. I bet he'd have fun playing with my new stuffies and my other Spidey.

"Is the spaghetti not to your liking?" Casey's voice pulled me out of whatever alternate universe I'd squirreled off in.

"I love ‘sketti."

Who said that?

"Good. I probably should've asked about food allergies first. Do you have any?" I shook my head. "Dislikes?"

"Brussel sprouts. They're yucky"

Casey grinned. "Good to know. We've got ice cream for dessert if you finish all your dinner."

"Ice cream?"

"Yes, sweet boy, so eat up."

I shoveled in a few bites before he spoke again.

"So, Chase, tell me what life on the road is like?" Casey asked.

Normally, I was super excited to hit the road but this time it felt…different.

"It's kinda crazy. Used to be all four of us plus our guards on one bus. Granted, the bunks were nice but small and with Ely as our chef we're well fed so no complaints there. Eventually the cities become a blur, a new one each night. I learned the hard way to ask before we get onstage, so I don't mess that up. It's long days of travel, that's for sure. "

"What kind of stuff do you do on the bus? Games?" Casey was genuinely excited to learn these things. For some when they'd ask it came across as nosey, but not with him.

"Mostly. Easton had all the buses outfitted with the latest X-box and PlayStation systems and games. We have wi-fi for whatever we need. David is an Animal Crossing geek so he's usually on his Switch. I spend a lot of time writing songs and journaling. It's been my go-to for like, forever." The early days of Embrace were exciting. We'd be so hyped up we'd hardly sleep before a show. Now we practically pass out as soon as our heads hit the pillow.

"Why do I detect a hint of uncertainty?" Casey was very perceptive. I should've expected that from a man as highly educated as he was.

"I don't know," I wiped my mouth and tossed my napkin on the empty plate. "I guess because all but me have paired up and I know I keep beating that excuse to death, but being the odd man out really sucks. I'm glad there are no more after parties, though. Those were way too uncomfortable. Growing up in Vegas, we'd lost way too many friends to drugs so the four of us never got into that or drinking. Occasionally we'll have a beer but getting drunk isn't our thing. Guess it'll be me and my notebook for the next few months."

"Am I no longer invited? "

Shit, I forgot Casey wanted to go with me. "I guess I figured you just said that to make me feel better when I asked the other day."

"Chase, you'll quickly learn three things about me. I'm honest, loyal to a fault at times, and I never say anything I don't mean. Like I said, my summer class is over mid-July so depending on where you are I'll fly out and meet you. If I'm still invited?"

"Yes, please. God, yes. You have no idea how badly I want you there." Was that too much too fast? Based upon his grin it was likely safe to assume it wasn't. I grabbed my phone and shot a text off to Easton and Jeremiah to let them know to add one more.

"I take it you're letting the powers that be know?" Damn his killer smile. I'd do anything to keep it on his face and aimed at me.

"Yes, our management team so you don't have issues getting into the arenas or backstage." Fucking hell, how this one thing completely changed my mood was totally insane.

"Then it's settled. Curling up in a tight bunk with you sounds like heaven to me."

This man was quickly breaking down all my barriers.

Not that I'd given anyone before Casey a chance…

"Me, too." And I meant it. I'd only be alone temporarily. How awesome was that? I had my own person .

Casey stood and gathered the dishes. "Who's up for ice cream with sprinkles?"

I nearly clapped and bounced in my seat. "Me!" Time to be a grown up. "I, um…" Ugh, just spit it out. "I brought an overnight bag?"

"Was that a question?" Leave it to the English professor to call me out on improper grammar.

"No. More of an assumption on my behalf and before you say it, I know what it means to assume. But I was, um, I was hoping to sleepover tonight." I wanted as much time as I could get with Casey before the tour started.

"My boy, I would love nothing more. Feel free to always come with a bag packed. I made an assumption of my own in the form of another surprise. One that I hope would end with you sleeping in my arms, but I had a backup plan in case that one fell through."

"Oh yeah, what's that?"

"There was a special visitor at our local library today. A children's picture book author named Elizabeth Brandt. I purchased a couple of her books which she autographed to you, and I thought they'd make for nice bedtime stories for Daddy to read to you."

Daddy.

There it was again. That word hung in the air, just out of reach. If I stretched a bit more …

"I'd love that. Thank you for thinking of me." Casey put a lot of thought into this evening. Every plan and every move was made with me in mind.

Being with Casey was easy. There were no expectations for me to perform or put on a show. I didn't have to worry about bills or schedules or what to eat. He took care of it all just like a…

Daddy.

David was right. I was a boy in need of a Daddy and Casey was the one for me. Just being around him I was more at ease and relaxed. Early in our relationship and he already got me like no one ever had. I did not have to decide anything, he had my best interests at heart.

Trust.

A single word that held so much weight, but oddly enough I did trust Casey.

"Did you want to shower before bed?"

"Nah, let me grab my bag."

Glad I had showered before I came over. I was way too excited to do it now. When was the last time I even picked up a book? High school? Now here I was preparing for Casey to read to me. So surreal. What a perfect way to end a perfect date.

Everything about Casey was perfect.

Fuck.

I was falling in love with this amazing man.

"You look like you just experienced an epiphany." Casey's voice startled me. "Sorry," he wrapped his arms around me from behind. "I didn't mean to scare you but when you didn't come back inside I worried."

"Let's just say something hit me like a sledgehammer." That was putting it mildly.

"Sounds ominous. Let's get ready for bed. Cuddling makes everything better."

Yeah, until I'm lulled into a false sense of comfort and those three life-changing words slip out and he runs as far away as he can get from a needy, attention and love-deprived Chase.

No one in their right mind would accept that burden on a permanent basis and temporary was not an option for me. I always knew if I ever found love it would be forever. I wasn't the kind who could work his way through the masses.

Casey took my hand and led me back inside. I popped into the hall bath and when I came out, he stood at the foot of the bed wearing a mirror image of what I had chosen. Boxers and a T-shirt. Awkward as hell as we stood at opposite corners avoiding eye contact.

"We are both being silly. Chase, you remember what I told you about sex, right?" He gave me that stern Daddy look some of the littles I had messaged with online mentioned. They said it was hot and I'll be damned if they weren't right.

"Y-yes. "

"Nothing happens until you want it to. My intentions tonight do not venture past reading you a bedtime story and holding you. Are you okay with that?"

Tell me why that stern, take-charge attitude and voice gave me chills?

"I do."

"All right then. Crawl in and let's get settled in, unless you've changed your mind?"

"No," I shook my head. "I want a story, please."

"Good boy."

Again with the shivers.

Casey slid in bed and held the sheets up. "Crawl in."

I scooched in and sat stiffly, afraid to move.

"Is that comfortable for you?" I shook my head. "Didn't think so. Tell you what, I'll sit still while you get into the exact position you want, and I won't move until you tell me to."

Enough of this crap, Chase. Take what you want.

I slid down until my head was level with his chest and laid it there. Casey slid his arm around me so he could hold the book and me then kissed the top of my head.

"There, perfect. Shall we begin?"

"Yes, please." I was comfy and ready to hear Daddy read to me.

Whoa. Now that word invaded my thoughts .

"The Many Adventures of Dash and Violet from Elizabeth Brandt," he began, and I was already sold. This will be a great story!

"Ooohhh, puppies." Animals always made me happy, though I'd never had pets of my own. "I want a puppy someday."

"You do, huh?" Daddy ruffled my hair.

Again. If I thought it enough, did that make it right?

I shook my head. "Yeah, it would be fun if it could come on the road with us and be like a band dog." I'd envisioned it time and again, writing it off as nothing more than a pipe dream. But was it? Could I make it work? With Daddy with me I bet I could do anything.

My brain was sold so what was my deal?

Just say it. Try it out and see how it feels.

"That sounds wonderful, Chase. This story is about two dogs that are deaf and use sign language to communicate."

"How do they sign with paws?" I moved my fingers and tried to mimic what I thought they would do and failed, but it made Daddy smile.

"Ha-ha. You are too cute, sweet boy. The power of imagination is one of the most fantastic things about humans. While the author describes the story we still view it in our own way."

"Neat." Huh, guess I never thought of it that way. Reading to me was an escape from reality. A way to calm myself before sleep and while I enjoyed envisioning the stories I read I'd never put quite that spin on it.

"Yes, neat indeed." And another kiss to the top of my head which I thoroughly enjoyed. "It was a warm summer's day on the farm. Dash and Violet, tired after playing, had laid down in their favorite field of sunflowers with their little pink bellies facing the sun, thoroughly enjoying the afternoon."

"Two puppies. Twins!" I pointed to the page. "Look."

"Chase, you are too adorable for words."

I was snuggly warm and being held by…wait, when had I fallen asleep?

Daddy nudged me. "Sweet boy, time to go to sleep."

"Sorry. Did you finish the story?" Shoot, I missed all the fun.

"You have nothing to apologize for." I rolled over and Casey wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck, and it made me all tingly. "I'm glad you felt comfortable enough to doze off."

I yawned and pressed back against him.

"Goodnight, Chase."

"Goodnight, Daddy."

I woke up the next morning alone, and in a strange bed. Then it hit me where I was and what I'd done.

I had called Casey Daddy.

Did I fuck things up?

Second Guessing Chase, I wonder if that's my legal name?

Questioning and second guessing myself was what I did best, though my new online friends told me Daddies loved it when we called them that.

Then the smell of bacon hit me, and Casey walked in before panic mode hit.

"Good morning, sweet boy." Casey leaned over the bed and kissed me. "Breakfast is ready."

So far so good.

"Thank you. Let me, um," I gestured toward the bathroom, and he grinned.

"Take your time. I'll be the happy Daddy in the kitchen waiting for his sleepy boy to emerge."

Well, my slip up went as the littles in the forum said it would. I wondered how it would feel to say the word while fully coherent.

Daddy.

I practiced rolling it around in my head while I dressed.

"Don't you have to work today?" I asked Casey as he came into view, flipping pancakes like a pro.

"I did something completely out of character and called out sick today." Casey picked up his coffee cup and proudly toasted the air .

"Professor Robinson, what has gotten into you?"

"See, I've got this really adorable boy I'm dating but he's leaving soon, and I want to spend as much time as he'll let me with him." Was that a question he asked or a statement? Either way it lit me up from the inside.

My heart warred with itself. Those words on the tip of my tongue. Instead, I closed the distance between us and pressed my lips to his. "The way you talk to me."

"How is that?"

"Like I really matter."

"You do. More than you realize."

Time to shelve my insecurities and give Casey one hundred percent of me. "Any plans for this weekend?"

"Kinda holding out for this really cute guy to ask me out. Maybe spend the weekend with me?" He shrugged, playing it out. "Not sure he's that into me."

"Oh, he's that into you." And then some .

"Good to know. So, this weekend?" he asked again.

Two days away.

My first weekend with my first boyfriend.

"Yes, this weekend. Need me to bring anything?"

"Just yourself. I'd say we could go out, but I'd rather keep you all to myself. If you feel otherwise let me know. "

"Honestly, life is about to get super insane for me. The idea of staying in sounds perfect, plus Sikes and Snipe will enjoy having one less body to worry about." Wonder what Rhone and David had going on. I should get with them and see if we could all lay low and give our guards a couple of days off.

"Can you cook?" Casey asked.

"The basics, enough to get by, but I'm more of a microwave meal kind of guy. Unless Ely or Jordan is around. They're the chefs, which is great. They get ideas for new recipes, and we get to be their test dummies." I rubbed my hands together like a mad scientist. "Which I have zero complaints about."

Casey laughed. "Good to know. Well, I'm no chef but I've been told I'm a good cook and I do enjoy doing it. I'll plan our meals for the weekend. We can watch movies or talk. I may have a couple of board games plus you've got your new coloring books, too." He plated up our food and added sprinkles and a smiley face to the top pancake on my plate.

I eyed the bag on the table, my fingers itched to color another page. "All of that sounds great to me. Do you have a pool?"

"Shoot, so much for the full tour. I do have a pool and can show you after we eat." He sat our plates on the table along with another piled high with bacon and we dug in. Conversation came to a halt, but it wasn't uncomfortable in the least .

"Given it's Vegas the water is warm. Care to take a swim?" Casey asked as we finished loading the dishwasher.

"Yeah. Cool. I brought a swimsuit just in case." Glad I'd thought ahead. Swimming in boxers was a bit revealing. Though I couldn't deny having thoughts of Casey and I engaged in things I'd never tried… "I'll go get changed."

"Meet you outside."

Deep breath, Chase, I chanted to myself as I stared in the bathroom mirror. Remember, you want this . You want Casey.

That much I knew.

It's funny how when you're nervously excited for something the sound of your heart pounds in your ears. You're hyper aware of everything around you. Even the sound of the sliding door opening was elevated.

Nothing has to happen that you don't want to, Chase . Casey's words replayed in my head.

"Towels are in the cupboard." He pointed to one of those plastic outdoor shelving units like we had on the back porch.

"Thanks."

I dove in while Casey slowly worked his way into the pool using the stairs. The water was refreshing. There was something about a swim that soothed the soul. At least for me it did. I swam a couple laps then met him over by the bench seat he watched me from.

"A swim was just what I needed."

"Seemed like it. You're a great swimmer."

"Thanks. One of the first things my mom did was put me in swim lessons." I popped up out of the water and kissed him then sank back under. Casey wrapped his legs around me and brought me back up and our lips met again.

With a gentle tug, I straddled his lap and ignored the scratchy surface of the pool bench beneath my knees. I'd feel it later, though right now all I cared to feel was Casey beneath me. Unbothered by his hard cock as my own rubbed against him through my trunks. Pure, unadulterated passion. Unfamiliar yet welcome to me. I wanted to get off. For the first time in my life, I wanted to come and could easily do so just from kissing this wonderful man.

Would he think of me as a child if I did? Come from kissing, that is.

"Chase," Casey panted as he pressed his lips to my throat. "Tell me what you want. Anything and it's yours."

"I want, I want…" I chanted, lost to his lips as they owned my flesh. I wanted to be touched everywhere. An act I barely tolerated when fans pressed their hands to bare chest. I endured it, it was part of the job, but I didn't have to like it nor did I.

"Chase. Fuck. "

Casey's mouth found my nipples and I nearly came undone. Never in my life had I imagined another's mouth there and now, I didn't want him to stop.

"Touch me." The words surprised me as they ghosted past my lips. "Please."

"You're absolutely breathtaking, Chase. I hope you know how much you mean to me."

I honestly did, but unable to form the words, I nodded.

Never had I felt anything as amazing as this.

Casey gripped my ass and ground it against his erection. I couldn't have stopped the moan it elicited if I'd tried. His lips outlined every inch of my chest. I gripped his hair and held his head there. Fuck, this was…

"Don't come yet, sweet boy. I'd love to taste you, if you'd let me."

Taste me?

He read the confusion on my face and nibbled my neck as he whispered the words I never thought I'd hear. "I'd want to taste you. Make you come with my mouth on your cock."

Fuck. Me.

Another nod as Casey took my hand and led me from the pool and to the shaded lounge chairs.

"Lie back and relax. Let Daddy take care of you."

Take care of me.

Such simple words that meant the world to me .

Casey gestured to my trunks. "May I?"

"Yes."

He slid them off and there I lay fully erect and naked in front of another human. I waited for the embarrassment to hit but it never did. Casey's fingertips trailed down my torso, mapping every inch of me, committing my flesh to memory. I knew this was one I'd personally draw from for the rest of my life.

I stalked his every move, watching the most erotic scene I'd ever been a part of. When he wrapped his hand around my shaft I nearly lost it. Casey's lips met mine as he stroked from base to tip and back down. He read me like a page from a book. I was so amped up there was no way this wouldn't be over as quickly as it started.

"Don't worry, sweet boy, Daddy will take care of you."

Casey slid back down my torso and wrapped his lips around the head of my cock.

"Oh shit."

Probably not the right thing to say, or in this case, hiss out but…

"Oh. Oh. Oh." His mouth slid down my shaft and back up. I'd lost all concept of the English language at this point. I must've arched up again because Casey gently held my hips down as he got to work. A few short seconds later I came hard, and he swallowed every last drop.

Breathless, my mind ran wild until it landed on one question.

What do I do now?