3. Chapter Three

Chapter Three

Chase

"You sent him to me, didn't you?" I asked David when I ran into him in the kitchen a few days later, both of us jonesing for a morning cup of much needed fuel. I didn't often drink it when not on the road, but between falling down chat wormholes and texting late with Casey, I was dragging ass today.

David added cream and sugar to his, taking his sweet ass time to respond. He leaned back against the counter and inhaled the life-giving elixir as he took a sip. "Let's just say I saw two souls whose paths needed to cross in the right place and time."

Tears rushed forth and I threw myself at him. Thankfully he saw it coming and set his cup down first. "Thank you, Daddy David." Purposely, I let that slip. I'd come to realize how important that one word was to all Daddies after spending countless hours in lifestyle chat rooms. If it came out in little Chase's voice, then so be it. Besides, David understood me better than I did.

"You're welcome, Buddy." He gave me a big hug. "You deserve to be happy, and Casey is a great Daddy. I'm happy for you both."

Jordan came in and side eyed us. "Good morning, Chase."

"Morning, Jordan." I snagged a granola bar and my coffee and headed back up to my room. Right as I shut the door my phone rang.

"Good morning." Hearing Casey's voice first thing in the morning was a great way to start my day.

"Hello, sweet boy," Casey replied. "Wanted to call so I could hear your voice."

We'd been texting every waking moment, and I loved it. How quickly I found happiness in something, or someone in this case, outside of music was awesome.

"Hey, how's it going?" Way to play it cool, dork. This is Casey, not one of your bandmates.

"It's going great. I have a couple of things to ask which were too much to type. First, Henry and Jamie's Daddies said they've been hounding them to reach out to you and asked if they can have your number. I don't give out anyone's numbers without permission."

Glad he mentioned that given we had to keep an eye on privacy more than most. "Yeah, that's cool but explain to them that it's super important they do not give it out to anyone." The thought of that potential shit storm gave me hives.

"Understood. Second, not sure what your schedule looks like, but we've been invited to Jamie's birthday party on Sunday. Do you want to go?"

"Let me check." I switched the screen to the calendar and put Casey on speaker. Easton had every event, meeting, and practice keyed into it, so we knew where to be and when. He was transitioning our band to Jeremiah's management which made sense since Jeremiah and Seltzer had shacked up, so he was already fully emersed into our band life.

"Yeah, I'm good. Do you, um, would you like to…" Why was this so hard to ask?

"Dear boy, you can ask me anything."

"Do you want me to share my calendar with you, so you know where I am?" This was a big step for me, and Casey would grasp that.

"I would love that but not to check up on you. Only to make sure I don't double book you or make you late for any commitments. I know your life is busy and I respect that."

It's like I won the first-time boyfriend lottery.

Oh, snap. That brought up another question that would likely make me sound like a dumbass when I asked it, but here goes. "So, um, being new to like, everything, does being my Daddy also make you my boyfriend?"

"I'd like a monogamous relationship with you, so my answer is yes. If you'll have me."

If I'll have him.

If my smile got any wider my face would break.

"I'll have you." This felt right, more so than anything had in a long time. Didn't matter to me what he had between his legs, just that we meshed and so far we had. He'd be patient with me, I knew it way down deep in my bones. Plus, he made me feel good about being me.

"Cheeky boy." But the smile in his words was clear as day, even without seeing his face.

Casey and I had a long way to go and whether determining monogamy was fast or not, it was necessary for me. If I was going to open myself up to someone there had to be a commitment involved. Trust would be established and over time I'd grow comfortable with the, um, sex part. I hoped.

"Do you want me to pick you up or meet you there?" I shoveled in the rest of the granola bar while he figured out our plan.

"Is the offer to see your toy collection still open?"

I glanced around at the shelves as a cute theme song from one of the Saturday morning cartoons from my youth hit me. "Yes! I'd love that." Why was I so ridiculously excited about this?

"I'll be in touch and fair warning, expect your texts to blow up shortly. These two were quite enamored with you at the club." Casey was too funny but likely right about this.

I full on laughed. "They're lightyears ahead of me and to be honest, I'm not sure how deep this side of me runs, but I look forward to their silliness." And hopefully they'd draw more of mine out. So far the brief glimpses I had into that world I'd enjoyed and it did relax me.

"What's got you so happy?" Seltzer asked as I came downstairs whistling to myself.

"Hey, man, long time to see." We hugged and I spotted Jeremiah sitting on the couch. "Hey, J, welcome back."

"I can't decide what's worse. The ridiculous amount of rain in Seattle or the brutal heat of Las Vegas." J stood and we embraced. "You guys will see a summer tour with Chaotic in your schedules now."

"Sounds like I showed up at the right time," Rhone said as he came inside. When we all moved across the street from each other we'd taken to leaving the doors unlocked when we were awake. "Vegas shows or elsewhere?"

"For the most part, elsewhere. The summer tour ends with Rocktoberfest then you're home for the merry old holidays." Jeremiah was way too cheerful about this. "Check your emails for the full schedule.

Never saw so many phones get whipped out at once.

Summer tours had become the norm for us. It was hot as hell for the outdoor ones, but we appreciated being home for the holidays. Winter in Vegas was perfect, temperature wise and I'd never been a fan of snow, so this worked for me.

"What's the bus sitch?" I asked. Odd man out and all that…

"Well," Jeremiah began. "Rhone and Ely have their own. Seltzer and Jeremiah do as well. David and Jordan will be on the same bus as you and you guys are slated to show up in Black Rock City on Wednesday so Ely and Jordan can prep before anyone arrives. Maiden and Social couples have their own buses and will likely meet up with us on Friday at Rocktoberfest. Joey and Stoli plus Easton and Diamond will get there on Thursday. Mickey and his boys will be there sometime on Friday.

"Joey and Stoli mentioned hitting the circuit with us beforehand since they're mentoring Chaotic," Jeremiah informed us which I'd pretty much figured. Joey and Stoli took their duties seriously and even though Stoli was a total smartass, he was determined to not only keep Chaotic from failing, but Josh as well.

"Let's head out." Seltzer clapped his hands. "Time for practice."

"Shotgun with Chase!" Rhone called out. "Unless you'll finally let me drive?"

"Hell no. You are not getting a ticket in my baby girl." I loved my band brothers but didn't trust them behind the wheel of my baby.

"Party pooper." Rhone's pout may work on Ely but it sure as hell got him nowhere with me.

The studio we practiced in wasn't too far away. Once we got there and had everything set up I asked, "What do you guys want to start with?"

Locked and loaded, ready to jam, Rhone called out, "Soul Deep!"

That's all I needed to belt out the intro.

Don't. Look. Back.

Each word screamed with a pause between, and I held onto the word back to elongate the scream.

Can you hear it?

Hear it calling to you ?

Can you feel it?

Feel it screaming for release

It's coming for you

Don't fight it

Don't try to hide it

It's coming for you

So you better be ready

It's coming for…you

The beast releases its wings as it emerges

Even free it still controls you

Where it goes you follow

When it stops, you obey

Feel it deep within your soul

That familiar pain

That familiar sorrow

Until you relent it controls you

Until you forgive it owns you

Let it out, let it free

Let it fly, let it flee

Let it find another soul to burden

Say goodbye, it's time to take back control

Now you hold all the cards

So what will you do?

Your blackened soul once cursed is now free

You control your destiny

You make the choices

So what will it be?

Was it a curse or a blessing when you felt it soul deep ?

Six grueling hours of practicing the songs from our new CD that had just released, and I was exhausted. The more screaming we added to our songs, the harder it was on me. Problem was the screaming fucking rocked and it was my dumbass who added it. But outside of practice and while onstage, I kept it to a minimum. Funny thing was on a personal level I hated screaming of any sort unless it was song related. I didn't grow up in a loud household. Hell, after Mom died talking period was kept to a bare minimum.

Screaming and arguing of any sort sent me into a downward spiral and I'd retreat into my shell. I was neither a lover nor fighter. Just plain old, awkward, introverted Chase.

Music took me places I wouldn't normally go to. Literally and figuratively. The music lifted me, brought me to life and the energy from it was off the charts. On stage I was cocky, brazen, even flirtatious, and had a gift for engaging the crowd and riling them up. Off stage I was a wallflower, and happy to hold that title.

"Food, Chase?" Seltzer's way of asking if I wanted to grab a bite.

"I could eat."

"I'm game. Ely's working today so I'm flying solo," Rhone chimed in.

"Awe is wittle Rhoney sad wifout his Ewhy?" Seltzer teased him. Rhone threw the sweaty towel he'd just cleaned off with at him. "Gross, dude."

"Really? That's what you go with when everyone in this room has been privy to all your gross shit over the years?" Rhone's playful words caused Seltzer to put a finger to his lips to shush him.

"Guys," Jeremiah's voice came over the speaker from the production area. "We can hear you and just for the record, Seltzer, I'm more than aware of your sordid past."

The group broke out in raucous laughter as more sweaty towels were launched at Seltzer.

"Ha-ha busted, dude. Now shut up and let's eat." Rhone and Seltzer had been best friends forever, like David and me. While we all met in elementary school, David and I actually grew up on the same street.

How ironic. All these years later I realized Joey and Stoli grew up in a similar environment. I mean, it was inevitable to meet in school but Joey and Stoli lived next door to each other and while they were now married, David and I never so much as considered dating each other, nor would we.

David called ahead to his favorite taco shop. He and his dad used to meet there all the time until the fans figured it out. Since then, the owner kinda converted the employee breakroom in the back into a dining area for us. We didn't need anything fancy, a table and a few chairs and we were good as long as our plates were loaded with tacos. We autographed some ETF goods for them, most of which were now framed and proudly displayed throughout the restaurant. Was a fair exchange in our eyes because their tacos were the fucking bomb.

"Rhone," I asked as we pulled out of the parking lot and headed for the restaurant. "If you could say one thing to your dad, what would it be?"

"Whoa," he sank back against the seat and breathed a heavy sigh. "Fuck, man, there is so much. I mean, I never got the chance to know him, like, at all. I suppose if I got to speak to him that would mean he was close by and hopefully in human form so I could hug him. I guess word wise, I'd thank him for the gift he passed onto me. And the good looks, too, of course."

I laughed. Leave it to Rhone to turn something serious into a funny. "Makes total sense. I never knew my real dad, either. Never told a single story about him. For all I knew my mom had me via invitro."

"What's brought all this on?"

Great question and likely due to the deep reflection as of late. "I dunno," I shrugged and shifted gears. "I've been learning a lot about myself and I'm, um, I'm kinda seeing someone." Not really kind of but being as new as it was I had no clue how or what to really call it. "I have my first boyfriend. "

"Do tell." He turned to face me as much as the seatbelt would allow. "Where did you meet him? What does he do for a living? When do we get to grill him?"

"We?"

"Yes, we. Me, you, David, and Seltzer are family. He's got to prove his worth to the family first."

"You make us sound like the mafia."

"Yeah, the rock and roll mafia." Fucking Rhone.

Family. That we were. "You, um, you've kind of already met him."

"We met someone you're dating, and you didn't say so. I'm offended." He mock pouted. "What the hell, man?"

"I wasn't dating him when you met. We only recently started seeing each other." Fuck, how would he and Seltzer react given the age difference between Casey and me?

"Go on."

"Remember David's dad?"

"What the fuck? David's dad is married to David's mom. What the fuck's wrong with you?"

"Dude, calm the fuck down. You know David's parents are like parents to me. Shut the fuck up and let me finish."

I swear he growled.

"Remember David's dad's friend, Casey? "

"Good looking. Mid-forties. Blond hair, blue eyes?" Guess he'd paid attention to Casey after all. "Got that whole hot teacher vibe going on?"

More like sexy professor. "That one. And thank you for the news recap and his highlight reel." I rolled my eyes. Rhone was a good soul and a brother but there were times he lacked finesse.

"Wow. Didn't know you were into older guys, or into dudes for that matter."

"Makes two of us."

Now, the part about exploring my little side I wasn't ready to share. Especially since I was still figuring it out and Casey and I were pursuing it—together. That was our special place and I wasn't ready to open it up for editorial comments.

"What does David think about this?" Rhone's question under any other circumstance was warranted, but not this time.

"Who do you think set us up?"

"No shit?"

"Pick your jaw up. No shit."

"Huh."

I left him to his thoughts and kept to mine. Felt good to share that, like making it real or some shit. Either way I was super excited about it and looked forward to the next time I got to see Casey.

"Well, if thinking of him put that sappy grin on your face then I'm happy for you, my brother." Rhone patted my shoulder .

We parked behind the restaurant. The guards and others were already there and waiting outside. Our guards would take turns eating, so the vehicles and the building were watched at all times. Seltzer and Jeremiah had a guard of their own now while the rest of us shared Sikes and Snipe.

I shot off a text to Casey.

Me: Grabbing tacos with the guys.

Casey: Sounds fun. I would meet you but I have an early class tomorrow.

Me: Next time?

Casey: Absolutely. Have fun!

And just like that, I got my second boost of energy. More than ready to deal with my nosey, over-energetic, but well-meaning band family.

"How are my favorite rockstars?" Luis and his wife, Maria, met us at the back door.

"Hola, mi amigo!" David greeted him and then kissed Maria's cheek. She blushed every time. It was beyond adorable. "Tacos are ready, and we can make anything else you want."

Luis led us into the extended breakroom, the tables were loaded with chips and salsa, and tacos were piled high. My mouth watered with a need to shove as many into my pie hole as it could handle. I'd eat tacos seven days a week, I swear .

"Nothing like tacos in the desert southwest." Seltzer rubbed his belly. "Seattle tries but so far it's no bueno. Luis and Maria, thank you for this wonderful feast."

"Always, my friends. We're happy you enjoy our food. Now sit, eat." Luis motioned to the chairs. Didn't have to tell any of us twice.

"Have I missed anything over the last month?" Seltzer asked the group between bites.

"Chase has his first boyfriend," Rhone announced.

"Fuck, dude, way to out a guy." I shook my head, but damn man.

"Sorry, didn't know it was a secret." Rhone at least had the good sense to appear chagrined.

"Secret or not, which it's not, it's my story to tell." It was rare I had anything to share so having him steal my thunder made me want to smack him upside the head.

"Congrats, Chase," Seltzer said. "Didn't know you went for the big D."

Was it hot in here or was it just me?

"Lay off, Seltzer," David spoke when I was clearly unable to. "Not everyone fits a label or needs to."

Seltzer held his hands up. "My bad. Tell us about him."

"You know him." I believe David thought his reply would throw Seltzer off but yeah, it didn't .

Silence…which wasn't always good, and this was a spotlight I didn't care to have on me.

"Spill it, dude." Seltzer's demanding tone left no room for BS.

David glanced at me, and I nodded. "It's my godfather, Casey. I set them up and they hit it off. End of story."

Yeah, not as much as we'd hoped.

"Wait, isn't that dude old?" Fucking Seltzer. Zero filter.

And there it was.

"Age is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things." I threw my napkin down, pulled my wallet out and tossed a hundred on the table. "My life. My choice." I turned to walk away but Seltzer stopped me.

"Wait, Chase. I didn't mean it like that. You know I'm not the pretty wordy one of us."

"Yes, that sentence alone proved that much," Rhone teased him. "Come on, guys, sit down. We're family, not enemies."

"Sorry, Chase. I didn't mean to upset you. Please sit back down. Let's finish dinner and you can tell us about it. About him," Seltzer pleaded. Back to that whole I avoid confrontation like the plague thing.

"Not much to tell. It's new. Like David said, he set us up, we hit it off and there you have it."

"Chase, you're our brother and we're all protective of you. You didn't sow your proverbial oats like we did." Great, Seltzer, way to announce I was a virgin to those who had no clue. You know, like the wait staff surrounding us.

"Dude, no," David rubbed his temples. "Not cool."

"Maybe I should be the one to leave since I keep putting my foot in my mouth." Seltzer stood but Jeremiah pulled him back down.

"Take it like a man, big mouth, and let him talk." Go Jeremiah!

"Sorry."

"Look, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to define my sexuality. I like him, he likes me, and we'll see where this goes." That was the best and only way I knew how to word it because I had zero fucking clue what I was doing.

"I can respect that." Huh, respect from Seltzer. Who knew that even existed? Generally speaking, Seltzer and respect didn't fit in the same sentence.