14. Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Casey

Would Johnny show? He'd texted and made all the arrangements, so my part was done. Now, it was all up to Johnny.

And if he did, would all hell break loose?

Would Chase ever forgive me for this?

Fuck, what had I done?

You had the best intentions with your boy's heart in mind . I did my best to reassure myself. You just wanted him to be happy.

That was a given. I'd move heaven and earth for Chase.

Tonight, Embrace played at the MGM Grand in the Grand Garden Arena. We arrived back in Vegas early enough that the drivers dropped those of us who lived here at our respective homes. Easton and Jeremiah scheduled the guys a two-day break, for which I was thankful. I was nowhere near ready to say goodbye to my little songbird.

Chase had absolutely blown me away with not only his performance skills but with his ability to command a crowd, and massive crowds at that. But two nights of having him to myself would never be enough.

Depending on how tonight went, I may be ready to ask a very important question.

Jesus, I was as nervous as a teenager on prom night.

I started a load of laundry and put in a grocery delivery order then when we got home tonight there'd be food. The plan was to not leave the house until the bus picked my boy up.

And he left, without me .

Listen to me, I'd turned into a whiney man. Not a good look for sure, especially on a seasoned Daddy.

"Whatcha doing, Daddy?" Chase asked from the dining table where he was currently coloring. He dove right for his toys the second we walked in the door. Decompressing was at the top of his list.

"Just making sure we have everything we need for the next couple of days, Little Songbird." And pacing and psyching myself out.

"You're a good Daddy, you make sure your Songbird is always taken care of and that's why I love you." His sweet words turned my frown around.

"Thank you," I kissed the top of his head as I passed the table. "This Daddy loves his boy to the moon and back." Chase giggled when I repeated the words he'd once used on me. "Here's a juice box."

"Thank you, Daddy." He popped the straw in and took a sip. "Nummy, fruit punch. My favorite."

I'd stocked up the first time he'd mentioned that. At least those hadn't expired while we were away.

"Songbird, what do you think about leaving more of your things at Daddy's house so they're here when you are?" Subtle? Somewhat, but a good lead into the question I hoped to ask him tonight.

"Songbird wants to live with Daddy. I think all my stuff should be here." His eyes didn't leave the page as he colored away, but little Chase never held back and for that I was beyond appreciative .

"Songbird, are you being serious?" I knelt beside him, on the verge of tears.

"Yes, Daddy," he kissed my nose. "I'm not happy when I'm away from you. You bring the songs to my heart. Oh yeah, I forgot something."

Chase scurried down the hall and returned a few minutes later and handed me a piece of paper. "Songbird wrote a song for his Daddy."

The Beauty Within

You found me when I was lost

When no one knew I was gone

You took your time and allowed me mine

No need to rush when we had forever

You saw me for who I was and not who you wanted me to be

Others wrote me off, cast me aside

But not you

You stood by my side and protected me

You saw the beauty within

Two hearts that beat as one

Two hearts no longer alone

Two hearts between you and me

Two hearts together and the void is gone

Luck was on my side when you came along

Right place, right time

The songbird sang you were the one for me

The hurt and pain will never leave

But you made the nightmares go away

Two hearts that beat as on e

Two hearts no longer alone

Two hearts between you and me

Two hearts together and the void is gone

Two hearts are better than one

Two hearts are stronger together than alone

Two souls who found the one

"Chase." There was no way to hold back the tears as they rushed forth. This sweet, sweet boy wrote a song just for me.

"Why are you crying, Daddy? Don't you like it?" The beautiful blue eyes I got lost in filled as his bottom lip quivered and it nearly crushed me.

"These are happy tears, Little Songbird. You fill Daddy's heart so full it overflows. I love the song, and I love you more than words can say." This would be framed and hung in our home for all to see.

Our home.

My boy loved me and wanted to build a life with me.

"God, Chase, this is beyond words. It's so beautiful."

"The Beauty Within. Daddy and Chase are beautiful together. Daddy saw the beauty within in his songbird. Songbird loves his Daddy." He said the words with such finality it left no room for argument. Songbird had spoken and so it shall be.

How had I made it this far in life without the love of this wonderful boy ?

I scooped him up and hugged him. "Daddy, you're squishing your songbird, and I need to finish your picture."

"I'm so sorry, sir, please," I gestured to the chair. "By all means, finish Daddy's new work of art."

I'd have a wonderful surprise for my songbird when he got back from Rocktoberfest, and it was all coming together in my mind. Now, to pull it off.

"Vegas! It's great to be back home. How the fuck are you doing tonight?" Chase bellowed into the mic and in typical fan fashion, the crowds' roar blew the decibel levels sky high. "Bunch of crazy fuckers and we love you for that. Nothing better than playing for a home crowd, so let's get to it."

The guys broke into their opening song and the fans were mesmerized. They sang along with Chase and at times were a bit louder than him. My songbird smiled from ear to ear each time they did it. What a high, to have people this enthralled with your music that they knew every word, every nuance and inflection in your voice. By now, I did, too, for the most part and had a great time singing and headbanging along from side stage. Well, headbanging as much as I could without ending up in traction. At one point, Richard laughed so hard he nearly fell off the platform we stood on. Cecilia scolded him but the twins giggled.

"Whoop! Whoop!" Seltzer cheered as he swung his sweaty towel around backstage after they were done. "Hella crazy out there tonight."

"We rocked the shit!" Chase announced.

"I'm so proud of you," I gave my sweaty songbird a hug.

"So am I."

Chase froze and turned toward the familiar voice.

"Dad?"

Tentatively, Johnny approached Chase. They stared at each other for a couple of seconds and when they could hold back no longer they flung their arms around each other and cried.

"I can't believe you're here. You finally came." Chase managed to get the words out between sobs.

"I'm so sorry, for everything, Chase. I'm so proud of you." Long awaited words Chase sought to hear from his father.

David and his family stood beside me, I'm sure we all thought the same thing—stay near in case it went south. We'd pick Chase up and put the broken pieces back together but for now so far, so good.

Fingers and toes crossed it remained that way.

"I love you, Chase. I can't apologize enough for the silence since your mother died. It was so hard to look at you when all I saw was her. You're just as beautiful as she was. She had the voice of an angel just like you. I know that doesn't make up for what I've done but I owe you the truth." I couldn't imagine the pain Johnny felt from losing the one he loved.

"Why don't we move this to the dressing room? Feels like a private moment," Easton suggested to us, and we followed him to the room where he and the Jordans left the three of us. There was no way I was leaving Chase to bear this alone unless he told me otherwise.

"We'll stay out here," David said. "This is family time. Johnny, good to see you." David and Richard nodded and headed in the direction of the rest of the band who had not so subtly watched the opening act, so to speak. Richard and Cecilia were fiercely protective of Chase, and I was thankful for that. They'd held my boy together when he was most broken.

"Dad, why now? After all these years of ignoring me?"

My heart broke for Chase. This wouldn't be an instant mend between them, Johnny would have to fight to regain his trust. But my boy loved his dad, and they'd find a way to make it work. That I knew without a doubt.

"A little birdie had a come to Chase, so to speak, talk with me." Chase's eyes darted at me, but I didn't acknowledge nor deny Johnny's statement. Chase and I would have our time to talk later, privately at home. "What they said was true and it really hit home. Gave me the kick in the ass I deserved. I'll spend the rest of my life apologizing to you, Chase, though you deserve better than me."

"I get it, you lost your wife that day and for that I'm sorry. But I not only lost my mother but the only father I ever knew. I was suffering and you weren't there for me. Thankfully, David's family was." Chase's angry words hit Johnny like a punch to the gut and he deserved it. Painful as this may be, this was therapeutic for them both.

"I'm thankful for them and I'll make certain they know that," Johnny said and I hoped that wasn't a false promise spewed to sate his son.

"I thought if I got straight As and stayed out of trouble that would make you love me, but it didn't." Chase's words were so low I'd barely heard them, but I knew Johnny had.

"You were a great boy and an even better man. Better than me for sure."

"Don't you think I want her back? She was my everything. If I could change one thing in my life it would be to bring her back. But I can't. Every day I wonder, what if she hadn't been behind the wheel that day or at that time? Then my mom would still be here. Neither of us can change the past but we can change the future. I waited for you to come to me, waited for you to hold me and tell me everything would be okay, but you never did." That was the worst part of all of this. Johnny left a child in pain to heal himself. No parent, no adult should ever do that. Children required nurturing and care. Ignoring or abusing them was never the right answer.

At this point Chase was full on bawling and screaming. I nearly went to him, but the timing wasn't right. He needed that from Johnny, not me. I'd be there for my boy however he required me to be after this.

"Chase, I don't deserve your love or forgiveness. I know this, but I'd like to try and make it up to you. Please say you'll give me another chance."

This was a big decision and one that only Chase could make.

"You're my father, of course I want you in my life, but if you hurt me again it's over. I've worked hard to get where I am and allowing anything toxic into my life would push me down a path I don't care to tread. Family or not, ties would be severed in order to save myself."

My beautiful, brilliant, bold boy.

"I promise, it won't happen again. I love you, son."

Fuck, there wasn't a dry eye in the room that held only three bodies.

Chase and his father embraced again and through my little songbird's tears I heard him utter those heartfelt words. "I love you, Dad. "

"I owe you a debt I'll never be able to repay," Johnny said to me. We stood off to the side with a couple of the guards while the bands went through their meet and greet routine. "This is amazing to watch. I know Hannah is smiling proudly down at Chase. How could she not?"

"No debt needs to be repaid. Just love your son as he deserves to be. He's a wonderful man and I'm lucky to call him my partner." Heartfelt words that nowhere near covered the depth of my love for Chase.

"Let's exchange numbers," Johnny suggested, and handed me his phone. I entered my contact information and texted myself so I'd have his. "If Chase ever needs anything, please don't hesitate to ask, though I doubt I'll ever be able to give him what he doesn't already have."

"You are the only one who can give him what he truly needs, and it doesn't require fame or money. He only wants your love and to spend time with you."

Johnny teared up again. "Thank you, Casey. That much I can promise to do."

I sincerely hoped for both their sakes Johnny remained true to his words.

As the line neared the end, Johnny slid into the last spot. When he got to the table, David, Rhone, Seltzer, and Chase came around and posed for pictures I took of them as a group then a couple of Chase and his dad. In my mind, the walls of our house would finally be filled with pictures of happy faces. Something it had sorely missed. I myself had lived in the dark, so to speak, since my religious zealot parents kicked me out the day I came out.

I never heard from them again.

That was over twenty years ago.

Thankfully, I met Richard in college and much as he and Cecilia had done with Chase, his family adopted me. Funny thing was the Jordans were devout Catholics, yet they found nothing wrong with being gay. "We are all God's creatures, and he creates no mistakes. Choices his children make are what condemn them, not how they are born." Richard's Nana repeated that to me anytime I was down.

Why couldn't everyone see that? Religious or not, we all served a purpose and love between consenting adults should be just that—love, regardless of what was between their legs or how they identified.

Freshman year of college I came out. Freshman year was the last year my parents paid for my tuition. Had the college powers that be not refused their request for a refund I'd have been screwed.

By the time sophomore year rolled around, I had a job and applied for various grants that helped get me through the remaining years. I worked my ass off to get where I was. Was my home a huge mansion filled with lavish things? No. It was simple and humble, and it was mine.

Johnny said goodbye to everyone with a round of hugs and promised to attend more gatherings. He and Chase exchanged numbers, too, parting with smiles on their faces. Now it was time to face the aftermath of my actions and see how it had been received by my boy.

He held my hand as the limo dropped everyone off at their homes, ours being last since I wasn't in the same area as David and Rhone's homes were.

"Home sweet home," I said as I locked the door behind us. With Chase moving in I'd invest in cameras and a security system sooner rather than later.

When I turned, Chase stood before me and wrapped his arms around my neck. "Thank you, Daddy. I know you're the birdie. Kind of ironic considering you call me your little songbird."

"Well, birds of a feather and all that."

"Thank you. That was by far the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me." Chase pressed his lips to mine in the sweetest of kisses. "He's already talking about getting together for the holidays."

Now there was an idea. I could see Chase's dad here on Christmas day. My sweet songbird excitedly ripping his presents open. Chase had enriched my life in so many ways and I looked forward to each and every day.

"That sounds wonderful and I'm glad it worked out. I was afraid it would backfire, and you'd be angry with me. But Johnny needed a swift kick in the tush to see what he was missing."

"Daddy, everything you do, you do with me in mind. I don't believe you could ever do wrong by me. I love you to the moon and back."

"Me, too, Little Songbird. All the love in the universe I have for you."

"Come on, Daddy, let's shower." My sweet, sexy boy took my hand and led me to our shower.

I turned on the water and enjoyed the show Chase performed just for me, slowly removing each piece of clothing he had on as he sang the song he wrote for me. Gods, I was a lucky man.

"Chase, you're perfect. Don't change a single thing, ever."

"Daddy, you say the sweetest things, but you have way too many clothes on."

As my little songbird proceeded to undress me, he pressed his lips to each area of the flesh he exposed. He made me feel appreciated, desired, and loved. When Chase reached my cock, he stared up at me as he drew his tongue up the shaft. This was the first time he'd done anything of this nature.

"Little Songbird, you don't have to do that if you don't want to." Obligation was not how this relationship worked. I performed oral on Chase because I loved it. Loved the taste and feel of his cock in my mouth. Loved watching him come undone.

"I know, Daddy, but I want to. I love how it feels when you taste me, and I want to do the same for you." His tongue swiped across the tip and paused as the bead of precome hit his taste buds. He shrugged and went back to it.

Was his first time smooth? Not by any means, but seeing my songbird down on his knees as he strived to orally please me had me teetering on the precipice in an embarrassingly quick amount of time.

"Little Songbird," I shivered as he swirled his tongue around the tip. "Daddy is about to come, and our water is getting cold."

He popped up and smiled, very pleased with himself. The adorable little imp.

"'Kay, Daddy." He strutted his naked ass into the bathroom and right into the shower. Cocky little shit.

I willed the pressure building in my balls down then joined my boy under the warm spray, soaped up the bath sponge and proceeded to wash him. So what if his cock and balls were the cleanest part of his body. It was worth it when he shivered each time I drew the bath sponge over it, and I gripped the base to keep him from coming.

"You don't play fair, do you, Daddy?"

"All's fair in love and war, Songbird. "

We somehow managed to get clean and mostly dried off. Chase sprinted across the room and landed on the bed. That glorious, naked flesh freely bouncing along with the mattress springs. I grabbed the lube before I joined him.

"Songbird, Daddy didn't have time to prep for you. Would you like to do it tonight?" His eyes widened but he said nothing. "Or you can watch Daddy do it, so you learn how."

"Maybe both?"

"We can do that." I lubed up two fingers, lay back on the bed and proceeded to circle my hole and work them inside. "Why don't you reach into Daddy's nightstand and pull the toy out to use." You'd have thought I bribed him with a new toy for as fast as he jumped at that. I guess in essence, I actually had. "Good boy, now rub lube on it, Daddy will hold his legs back and you can use it on him."

I pulled my legs back as Chase sat between them and proceeded to prepare the toy. He switched it on, and the vibrator sprang to life. With the tip at my hole, igniting every nerve ending there, he slowly worked it in and out. His intent gaze locked on the most intimate part of my body as he worked me open.

This was unlike anything I'd ever done with any boy or hookup for that matter.

"Daddy, this is so fucking hot. Tell me when I can fuck you. "

One day my boy would be able to gauge that for himself but for now, I enjoyed the give and take between us with no true top or true bottom outside of the act itself. I didn't top from the bottom, but I guided the top with gentle directions.

"Now," I panted after the vibration hit my prostate and the fire inside came to life. "Please, now, Chase."

He lubed his cock and lined up as I still held my legs in place and sank all the way in. The slight burn from the stretch provided just the right amount of pleasurable pain. The gorgeous man who'd stolen my heart's gaze met mine and remained there as he made love to me.

Not our first time and not our last by any means, but no matter what we did or where we did it that act itself was about more than just getting off. Each coupling was filled with nothing but love. Making love was what Chase and I did each time we came together.

Mind-blowingly beautiful was the best way to describe what we shared.