Chapter 2

For hours now, I've curled up in Finn's comfy book chair, naked, save for a plush white blanket, and read the book Walter suggested to me two days ago at his apartment. Finn is an incredible storyteller. Not that I'll tell him as much. Not when he's obviously uncomfortable I'm reading his book when he has an entire library of others. He said as much when he explained there were edits he needed to tend to for a few hours, and I decided to read his work, not one of the more distinguished novels he has in his collection—his words, not mine. As if I was gonna miss this opportunity.

Bouts of absentminded humming fill the space as Finn works at the table in his kitchen. I smile at the soothing melody, loving how domestic this feels. I arrived yesterday. We had dinner I brought from the city—sandwiches from my favorite deli and their famous cookies. Finn hasn't eaten outside of his home in months. He didn't need to say it. I could tell. The man's eye lit up at the simple turkey and cheese on cracked wheat. A moan broke the surface when he tasted their homemade garlic mayo spread. I've made a mental note to bring him food every time I visit just to see his childlike reactions.

I think you'll be surprised to learn we haven't had sex today. Alright, so we did last night. Sue me. It didn't last long. A whole lot of lip smashing, clothes tearing, and reckless fucking ensued within a moment of my arrival. We came in a mess of limbs and moans, and things have been far calmer since.

Uncovering the blanket from my legs, I peer out the side window overlooking the front of the cabin, our cars, and the endless world of green and blue.

The humming ceases, and someone clears their throat.

I peek over my shoulder toward the kitchen doorway to find Finn standing with a hard-on and a timid smile.

"Hi, sweetheart," I greet, voice warm.

"Hi."

"You look like you might have a problem." My gaze flicks to his member.

"I have a confession to make."

"Okay. Out with it."

"Remember when I mentioned a sex swing?"

"Yes. I remember." Just the mention of a swing, and my cock gives a cursory twitch.

"Well…" Finn wrings his fingers in front of him and rocks back on his heels. "I bought one and hung it under the pergola on the back porch."

"Oh. You did. Did you?"

Rubbing his arms up and down, he looks away as a blush consumes his entire face. Finn's lips purse together in shy discomfort.

"Did you want us to experiment there today?" I leave out that I've played on sex swings before with previous clients. They can be fun. Though, I've never fucked anyone on one before. Seeing Finn trussed up in one, exposed and helpless, sounds like a new favorite kink unlocked.

"I'm done editing," he mutters instead of answering my question.

"I'm still reading your book." Wide open as not to lose my spot, I hold up the paperback version he had on the bottom shelf, the spine not even broken.

A shallow nod, staring in the far-off distance, is his reply.

"Sweetheart."

Swallowing thickly, Finn's Adam"s apple bobs in his throat, not once but twice.

"Finn, what's wrong?"

Water shimmers in his gaze when he finally looks at me. "This is a lot."

My heart races and aches in tandem as I climb out of the comfy chair, lay the book face down on it, and approach Finn. He lets me draw him into a hug and pepper kisses on the side of his head. The man melts into me as if the weight of the world is bearing down on his bones.

We'd talked about Walter last night and his reaction to the news.

We'd discussed Finn's job and what that entails. I explained mine in more detail than I had before, including the books I bring to my favorite patient.

Not once has he sounded more distressed than his normal socially awkward adorableness, which I'm falling in love with more and more every day.

This feels different.

I trace the contours of his lean back, up and down his spine, as his face stuffs into the crook of my neck. Finn cups my bare cock in his hand, fondling it. As to be expected, I get hard but don't act on it.

"Is this a sexuality thing?" I check.

An insignificant head shake. "I… I'm worried you're gonna regret this."

I frown. "Regret what?"

"Leaving Walter. Dealing with… me. My needs."

This man has nothing to worry about.

"I'm not going to regret being with you, Finn." I'm firm in my conviction, so he understands where I stand. That this isn't some whim for me. I don't do whims. I don't change easily. My life is calculated and controlled. Making this choice to be with Finn wasn't taken lightly. "Do you have more needs you haven't told me? Am I missing something?" I ask to give him an opportunity to explain.

"You're too good."

Not with this shit again. First from Walter and now Finn. I care. I don't need praise or an award for that.

Wanting us to have a chance to talk things through, even if it's normally difficult for me, I maneuver us to the bedroom and help Finn into the bed and under the covers. Rounding the foot of the bed, I'm on my side and under the duvet beside him in a flash. I fit our fronts together. His hard member against mine—cock kissing.

Pinching his chin, I force him to look me in the eye. Again, with the thick swallowing and bubbling nerves.

"Now. Let's talk," I urge softly.

Finn blows out a breath, fanning my face in garlic butter and bread. On anyone else, it might gross me out, but with him, I wanna kiss those lips and see if they taste as good as he smells. "I've thought a lot about this. I don't… I don't want you to feel trapped."

"Why would I feel trapped?"

"Because I'm the weird recluse who never leaves his mountain."

I chuckle and peck the tip of his nose. "Maybe I like that."

"But what if you want to go to a concert or eat someplace and I can't go?"

"Why can't you go?"

He shrugs a single shoulder. "I don't know."

"If I'm with you, don't you think it might be easier to brave the outside world?" I kiss the tip of his nose again because it's there, and if I kiss his mouth, that'll lead to fucking, and we don't need that right now.

"Maybe. But I don't want to make you drive up here every weekend to see me. All we do is stay here, doing the same stuff. My life isn't all that exciting, Beck. You've experienced most of it already. It's not like yours."

True. It isn't like mine. But I still love his lifestyle. Sure, it's calm and serene most of the time, but that doesn't mean it isn't fun. I love to hike. Though, I don't have the experience Finn has, if our hike up that hillside is anything to go by. The only worldly sounds heard here are those he makes or from the weather or animals. There's something to be said about that level of privacy. You don't get that in the city, no matter where you go.

"It can be if you allow it," I explain. "I have an apartment in the city, sweetheart. It's in a nice, quiet area of town. There's a coffee shop three steps outside my building with plants and a chill vibe. It would suit you. But if this is your way to somehow push me away or end this, I need to know."

"No. I… That's not what this is…" He grimaces. "I couldn't stop thinking about how you drive two hours up here and then home every weekend. I'm the one with the flexible job. That doesn't seem fair for you to do it all... Then… I was… It only seems fair to give you an out before…"

"Before what?"

"Before you realize I'm…"

"A nervous wreck sometimes? That you blush nonstop? Have a sex drive to rival any teenage boys? Like dick? Eat more carbs than should be humanly possible and still maintain a body like yours? I know all those things, sweetheart. Sure, you're socially awkward. You have a phobia of people or social situations, I'm not sure which. We can work with that. Why don't we table this concern and do this? If you become too much, I tell you. If I become too much, you tell me. In the meantime, you let me feed that insatiable sex drive because I want to, and I'll come up every weekend for the next two months, no questions asked. After that, we can talk about you spending a day, maybe a weekend with me. We'll work up to it. Maybe take a drive. Pick up food somewhere. Go on a picnic. Give you some breathing room to stretch your legs and see wherever it takes us. How's that sound?"

Collapsing into me, burying his face in the top of my chest, Finn mumbles, "That sounds perfect. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

I rub his back. "You're you. That's all."

"I'm gonna bake you all the bread."

Kissing the top of his head, I chuckle. "Alright, baby, you do that."

"You can take it to work and give it away."

That sounds perfect. "I'll do that. Thank you."

"Now, can we… use the swing? I… need…"

"My hand."

"Yes."

Kissing the top of Finn's messy, blond waves a second time, I mutter, "I'll make your ass gape anytime you want, sweetheart. All you gotta do is ask nicely."

"Please."

"Aww. Anything for you. Let's go see this swing."