19. Alfie

Iwas alone in my room, thinking about Blaze. He'd said he loved me.

I replayed the moment. Yes, I was sure he'd said he loved me.

It was just that he fell asleep straight after and I couldn't be sure he'd meant to say it. Should I say it back? Or what if he hadn't meant to tell me and that made things awkward?

I was spiralling.

More than ever, I needed Morgan back because he always knew how to keep me grounded. He was so unflappable that he made me feel like he was a calm rock that I could cling to and never get swept away in the tide.

I missed him every day.

Our bond was still bright and I called it up regularly to check on it, to make sure the bond wasn't sick or weakening. That was a fear of mine, that Morgan would be perfectly safe and well only he'd just gradually stop caring about me. Our bond would get weaker and thinner until one day it just… broke.

I kept calling it up to check, but so far it had stayed strong.

How long would that last, though? With us never able to see each other again, we'd grow apart and soon he wouldn't remember what I looked like and—

I was spiralling again.

I wanted to sneak outside and see Blaze but I needed to decide what to do first. I needed to know whether he'd meant it when he said he loved me.

Something vibrated inside me when I remembered it. It was like I imagine a cat laying on my stomach and purring. Only I was the cat.

Whatever, something was wrong with me and I didn't like it. I wanted to get it sorted but I also wanted to tell Blaze how much I loved him.

It was more than just loving him. It was- it was that he was my favourite person in the world. I couldn't describe how deep my feelings for him were. Our bond was brighter than any other I had, and I was sure that was all him, radiating warmth and light and love. Who wouldn't fall completely in love with someone like that?

I picked up my book, intending to at least look like I was reading, but I didn't open it. Instead, I stared out of the window, watching our bond and wondering what Blaze was doing right at that moment, whether he was in human or flame form.

Perhaps it was because I was concentrating on a bond, but I suddenly felt one of them twang against me. It went hard and brittle and I had to take deliberate deep breaths before I could work out which one it was. It was tugging at my insides in a nasty way, making them feel like they'd rip open. Only this time it wasn't like I'd burst from the inside out, it was that I'd be ripped open from the outside.

It was Lord Somerville's bond, and it was one of the strongest I had. All of us had a bond with him, of course, and all of them were the same iron-hard ones.

He was our elder. He was in charge of all of us. That meant we had to obey.

Only I wished he wasn't tugging at our bond like that.

It took me a moment longer to realise that Mother's bond had also risen up, wrapping around me protectively.

For a second, it almost looked like the two bonds were duelling. These strange, magical threads battled against each other and I'd never seen them do that before. Mother never challenged Lord Somerville. The closest she'd come was asking him to bring Morgan home.

Six months before, I'd have stayed in my room because I'd been told to. I would never have dared to go and investigate. But I was restless and I was sick of being treated like a child and I needed to move or I'd run outside and see Blaze again.

So I slipped out of my room and crept along the corridors, following the two bonds that led me straight down to Father's study.

There were spells on the walls and doors to stop sound from getting out, particularly around Father's study. It would be dangerous for just anyone to hear what the dragon elder was talking about day to day, at least that's what I assumed.

To be fair, there were spells on all the doors, since dragons had excellent hearing and none of us wanted to be able to hear everything that happened in the whole castle. We'd get too irritated with each other if we had to listen to every conversation everyone had.

Even though I was used to the soundproofing, I felt a flash of annoyance. I could hear Mother's voice but I couldn't hear her words. My insides squirmed and the bond we shared flared again, as though she were stepping in front of me to deflect an attack.

I tried to push down the squirming feeling, and concentrated on the bonds. I'd never seen them behave in this way.

Slowly, I crept closer until I heard Father's voice. He was talking calmly, like he always did. I missed the beginning of his sentence but just about managed to hear him say, "like he should."

I practically pressed my ear up against the smooth, polished oak of the door to hear Mother reply.

"Please reconsider, Lord Somerville. We could hire the same tutor that we hired last year. He was a respectable, learned man."

Hearing her phrasing it that way was strange. She meant hire the same tutor that they'd hired for Morgan a year ago. It was just that Morgan had been disowned and we weren't allowed to speak his name. We shouldn't even be thinking about him, if truth be told.

Lord Somerville spoke sharply. He sounded impatient.

"He was not satisfactory. He did not draw out the power I wanted."

"That was not a fault with the tutor."

"His methods are too slow. It took him over six months to make even the smallest progress. I want faster results. I need to know now what we have in our clan."

"But not her, please."

I actually reeled back from the door with a gasp of surprise. Had my mother just pleaded with Lord Somerville?

"She has the power to identify such magic. We know this."

"But think of what she did to Alexander! I don't want her here. I don't want her near my son."

Mother's voice had risen in volume and pitch. She almost didn't sound like my mother any longer. She sounded like someone totally alien to me, someone I didn't really know at all.

Lord Somerville's voice, though, remained the same. He sounded bored, and it was a jarring contrast to Mother.

"I have already arranged for her tutelage."

"You can change your mind, Lord Somerville."

"We have agreed payment already."

"I'd pay her to leave! Please, don't let her near Alphonse."

Me?

She made it sound like I'd be in danger or something, but I couldn't possibly be in any danger while I was inside the clan's territory.

There was a long moment of silence inside my father's office, and I could imagine him retreating away from where my mother stood, distancing himself from her emotional outburst. He'd have that look on his face, the one I'd spooked myself with in the mirror when I looked too cold and distant.

At last, he said, "The arrangements have been made. She is coming here to train my son."

"Remember what she did to Alexander."

She had pushed Lord Somerville too far. I flinched back, even though I was outside the office and Father hadn't seen me. His voice cut like an icy wind.

"She drew out his power. She saw what gifts we had given him with the purity of our blood. He was magnificent."

"He is dead." Her voice broke. "He's dead because of her. She did that to him, our baby boy. She'll do the same thing again."

"Alphonse is older than Alexander was. He has been raised differently. And I will monitor their interactions carefully. Do not think that I am gambling with the life of my son."

Mother's voice was so broken that I almost couldn't make out her words.

"Yes, Lord Somerville."

I registered what she'd said, realised it was a dismissal, and turned and fled towards the nearest corner, darting round it with barely a second to spare before Mother came out of Lord Somerville's office. She closed the door gently, and began to walk along the corridor with steady, stately steps. Then they sped up and then she ran.

I'd never seen my mother run before. I heard a sob break out of her throat and saw the flare of her bond with her sister as she raced up the stairs.

I was too stunned to move. I didn't even have the wit to follow her.

It looked like I was getting a tutor.