Chapter 25

Twenty-Five

"I s it always this quiet in the woods?" Christina asked, her voice breaking the stillness as they rode side by side. "I mean, it's peaceful, of course, but I wonder if it ever gets lonely. Do you come here often? Or perhaps not, and I've just never noticed?—"

Victor glanced over at her, amusement flickering in his eyes. "You seem unusually talkative today, Christina."

"I talk when I'm nervous," she admitted, her cheeks warming. "My sister calls it rambling."

Victor chuckled, his gaze softening. "And what exactly has you nervous? Surely not the ride."

Christina shook her head, gripping the reins a bit tighter. "No, not the ride. It's…" She hesitated, then laughed awkwardly. "I suppose it's the idea of you teaching me how to swim."

Victor raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile tugging at his lips. "The lake has you nervous? Or is it me?"

Christina laughed again, though a bit more breathlessly this time. "Perhaps a little of both."

They rode on, the silence of the woods enveloping them, broken only by the occasional rustle of leaves or the sound of hooves on the path. Christina felt the butterflies in her stomach grow as they neared the lake, and soon, the shimmering water came into view. It was nestled amidst a ring of trees, its surface gleaming in the soft afternoon light. Christina's breath caught at the sight.

"Oh," she whispered, her nervousness momentarily forgotten. "It's beautiful."

Victor brought his horse to a stop beside hers, watching her reaction with quiet interest. "I'm glad you like it."

Christina dismounted from her horse, feeling the ground beneath her feet, but before she could steady herself, Victor was at her side. He reached out, his hands gently gripping her waist as he helped her down. For a moment, she felt the warmth of his hands through her gown, the firmness of his touch sending a rush of heat to her cheeks.

They stood there, close—too close—and for the briefest moment, neither of them moved. The air between them seemed to thicken, charged with an anticipation Christina hadn't expected. She could feel her heart racing, her breath catching in her throat as she met his gaze.

Victor didn't step back right away, his hands lingering for just a second longer than necessary. His eyes held hers, and she could feel the tension humming in the space between them. It was the kind of tension that made her chest tighten, that made her pulse race, and for a moment, she thought he might close the distance between them entirely.

But then, just as quickly as the moment had come, it passed. Victor stepped back, his expression shifting into something more neutral as he tied the horses to a nearby tree. Christina exhaled softly, trying to steady herself, but the flutters in her stomach refused to calm.

"It really is a lovely spot," she said, her voice a little higher than usual as she rambled again, trying to fill the sudden tension. "So calm and quiet. I can see why you might come here. Not that you're avoiding people, of course, but everyone needs some solitude now and then…"

Victor turned back to her, an amused smile tugging at his lips. "You're rambling again, Christina."

She let out a nervous laugh. "I am, aren't I? It's a terrible habit, but I can't seem to stop when I'm—well, you know."

"Nervous," he finished, stepping closer to her again, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "I can tell."

Christina's heart fluttered again, her breath catching as he approached. "I suppose I should try to stop."

"Or," Victor said, his voice low, "you could just let me teach you how to swim, and I promise you'll forget all about your nerves."

She smiled despite herself. "You make it sound so simple."

Victor's grin widened. "It is simple. You just have to trust me."

Christina hesitated for a moment, but when she saw the warmth in his eyes, the reassurance in his voice, she nodded. "I do."

He led her to the edge of the lake, where the water lapped gently at the shore. His hand lingered on her arm for a moment longer than necessary, his touch light but grounding. Christina followed his lead, stepping gingerly into the cool water. It was refreshing, and soon she found herself wading in deeper until the water was at her waist.

"Now," Victor said, positioning himself in front of her, "I want you to lean back, let the water support you. I'll keep hold of you."

Christina bit her lip, feeling a mixture of excitement and trepidation. "You'll keep hold of me?"

His eyes gleamed with amusement. "I already told you, Christina. I won't let you sink."

With a deep breath, she nodded and leaned back, her heart pounding as she felt the water beneath her and the firm grip of Victor's hands at her waist, guiding her. She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to relax, and to her surprise, she felt herself floating.

"You're doing it," Victor said softly. "You see? There's nothing to fear."

Christina opened her eyes and glanced up at him, her nerves finally beginning to ease. "I suppose not. But you're the one keeping me afloat."

He smiled, his gaze lingering on her a moment longer. "You don't need me for that, but I don't mind helping."

The lesson continued, with Victor guiding her through each step, his hands sometimes brushing against her arms, her back, her waist. Each touch sent little shivers through her, but there was something about the way he encouraged her, the way he patiently instructed her, that made her feel… safe. The more they worked together, the more the tension between them shifted from nervousness to something more playful.

At one point, as she attempted a stroke he'd demonstrated, Christina accidentally splashed water directly into his face. She gasped, her hands flying to her mouth.

"Oh! I didn't mean to?—"

Victor wiped the water from his face, his expression one of mock indignation. "You did that on purpose."

"I didn't!" she protested, laughing despite herself.

"Well then," he said, moving toward her with a grin, "I'll just have to return the favor."

Before she could react, Victor scooped her up in one swift motion, water splashing around them as Christina shrieked with laughter. "Victor, no!"

But it was too late—he had already carried her into deeper water and tossed her in.

She surfaced quickly, spluttering and laughing as she wiped the water from her eyes. "You are impossible!"

"Perhaps," he said, grinning as he treaded water beside her. "But I do seem to have won."

Christina narrowed her eyes playfully. "I wouldn't be so sure."

With a mischievous giggle, she dipped beneath the surface, staying underwater just long enough to give him pause. When she didn't immediately resurface, he called.

"Christina?" He started moving toward her, his movements urgent.

She allowed a moment to pass before she sprang up from the water with a triumphant grin. "Here!"

Victor blinked, momentarily startled before breaking into a relieved laugh. "You little—" he shook his head. "I suppose you have won after all."

They floated there for a moment, their laughter fading into something quieter, more intimate. For a moment, the world around them seemed to still. The only sound was the soft ripple of the water, the only feeling the warm closeness between them. Christina's breath hitched as Victor reached out, brushing a damp curl away from her face.

Their eyes locked, and in that moment, everything seemed to shift. Slowly, Victor leaned in, and when his lips met hers, it was gentle at first, tentative, as though testing the waters. But as the kiss deepened, Christina felt the last of her nerves melt away, replaced by a warmth so overwhelming she could barely breathe.

When they finally pulled apart, her heart was racing, and she found herself smiling up at him. "I thought this was supposed to be a swimming lesson."

Victor grinned, his thumb brushing her cheek. "I think you've learned enough for today."

"Come," Victor commanded, his voice soft but firm. Before Christina could react, he scooped her up into his arms. She gasped, her hands instinctively grabbing onto his shoulders, her wet curls brushing against his neck. The lake water dripped from both of them, but Victor barely noticed as he carried her out of the water.

When he set her down, he kept his hands around her waist, the warmth of her body and the closeness making it impossible to let go. She stood before him, water glistening on her skin, and for a moment, he couldn't move. The tension between them hung in the air, thick and undeniable, and he found himself lost in her eyes.

He kissed her again. This time, it was brief, but the world still seemed to fade away, leaving only the intensity of the kiss—and it left him shaken.

When he pulled back, Christina's cheeks were flushed, her breath coming in short, uneven bursts. She looked radiant, utterly divine, and Victor's chest tightened. She was slipping past his defenses, and the realization terrified him. He had to stop this before it went too far.

Victor stepped back, forcing himself to move. He walked toward Toro and retrieved a cloth from the satchel, handing it to her with deliberate calm. "How is it that you never learned to swim, Christina?" he asked lightly, hoping to distract her from the storm inside him. "You seem like someone who would have mastered it long ago."

Christina laughed, taking the cloth and drying her arms. "If there had been a lake near the seminary, I would have. But we had to make do with sneaking out to climb hills and have picnics."

Victor raised an eyebrow, a teasing smile pulling at his lips. "Picnics, you say? So you spent your time fleeing the rules of the seminary for the thrill of a hillside picnic?"

"Absolutely," she said with a grin. "It was worth the risk. There's something exhilarating about sneaking away, don't you think?"

Victor chuckled, though the unease in his chest lingered. "Even more daring than I thought."

"Someone has to be," she replied, her tone light but her gaze lingering on him for just a moment too long.

He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. There was a part of him that admired her boldness, her refusal to be constrained by the rules that others set. But there was also that same part that warned him to distance himself, to keep his heart protected. He couldn't afford to let her get any closer.

They mounted their horses, and as they rode back to Kilton Castle, the silence between them was comfortable, yet Victor couldn't shake the heaviness that had settled over him. Every glance she gave him, every laugh that escaped her lips, tugged at something deep inside him, something he wasn't prepared to face. He was allowing himself to care for her—more than he should—and it was dangerous. He had to stop it before it became something more, something he couldn't control.

When they arrived back at the estate, Victor dismounted and offered Christina his hand to help her down. She smiled up at him as she took it, but the warmth in her gaze only deepened the ache in his chest. He forced himself to return her smile before turning away, his mind already spinning with the decision he had to make.

Hours later, Victor stood in his study, staring out at the garden, his hands resting on the window frame. The sun had begun to set, casting long shadows across the lawn, but he barely noticed the beauty of it. His thoughts were consumed by the memory of Christina's kiss, the way it had felt to hold her, to let himself forget for just a moment.

He couldn't allow it to happen again.

She was everything he had never expected—bold, rebellious, and full of life. She had captivated his daughters, earned their respect and love in a way no one else ever had. She had brought laughter back into Kilton Castle, a light that had been absent for years.

But she was also everything he feared for himself.

Victor knew, deep down, that he could fall in love with her—perhaps he already had. But what terrified him more was the thought of losing her. He couldn't bear it. Not again. Not after what had happened with Christian. He had let his brother chase after adventure and excitement, and it had cost him everything. If he allowed himself to care for Christina the way he cared for his brother, the pain of losing her would destroy him.

He couldn't take that risk.

With a heavy heart, Victor left his study and walked toward Christina's chambers. When he entered, she looked up from her papers, her face lighting up at the sight of him, but the moment she saw his expression, her smile faltered.

"Victor," she said softly, setting her quill down. "What is it? Has something happened?"

He stared at her for a long moment, searching for the right words. He had rehearsed what to say, but now that he was here, the weight of it all pressed down on him, making it difficult to speak.

"I'm leaving," he finally said, his voice harsher than he intended. "I will be going to London for the rest of the Season. I won't be returning for several months."

Christina's face paled. "Leaving? For months? Why? Is there some urgent business in town? I could come with the children?—"

"No," he interrupted, the word sharper than intended. "That won't be necessary."

He saw the confusion in her eyes give way to something more painful, something that mirrored the fear inside him. Her voice trembled slightly when she spoke again. "Is this… about the kiss?"

Victor's jaw tightened. "It has nothing to do with that."

"Then why?" she pressed, her voice rising. "Why are you doing this? Why are you pushing me away?"

Victor's pulse quickened, anger flaring to mask the deeper emotion that threatened to surface. He couldn't allow her to see the real reason. "Because I cannot do this," he snapped, his voice cold. "I cannot allow myself to fall into the same trap as my brother."

Christina's eyes widened, pain flashing across her face. "What are you talking about?"

Victor turned away from her, staring out of the window as he tried to contain the turmoil inside him. "Christian lived for excitement, for the thrill of adventure. He thought he could have it all, and in the end, it killed him."

"What does that have to do with us?" Christina asked, her voice breaking slightly. "We aren't Christian."

Victor's hands clenched into fists. He couldn't look at her, couldn't let her see the truth in his eyes. "He was reckless. He believed that he could escape danger, but it caught up with him. I let him chase that life, and he died because of it. I won't let myself care for someone like that again. I can't."

She stepped toward him, her voice pleading now. "But you do care, don't you? That's why you're doing this."

Victor swallowed hard, his chest aching at the sight of her. She was hurt, confused, and it was his doing. But he couldn't let her get closer. "We must live separate lives," he said, his voice barely above a whisper. "It's the only way."

Christina's breath hitched, her hands trembling as she stared at him. "You're running from this, from us. Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to us ?"

He had no answer for her. Not one that would make sense. Not one that wouldn't break both of them. Instead, he turned and walked out of the room, his heart heavy with the weight of what he had done.

As he closed the door behind him, he knew that the pain of this moment would haunt him for a long time. But it was the only way to protect them both from the inevitable heartbreak that would come.