Chapter 3

3

A s soon as Cav was outside, he paused and took a deep breath. The sun was slowly descending in the sky, the pinks and oranges of the late afternoon beginning to make an appearance. A small family of four passed on the sidewalk outside the lawn, the smiling omega pushing a baby carriage while babbling away happily as the alpha carried a tiny tot in one arm and led a leashed puppy with the other. It reminded him of where he was. The Alexandria Family Quarter. He'd been there once before, eons ago and it hadn't gone well.

What the hell am I doing here? I should just go and get a hotel room and give them space.

And me.

I need space.

To call himself overwhelmed was an understatement. He should just get in the car and find a hotel like he'd planned. He took three steps in that direction before he realized he hadn't left a number for them to reach him. He turned back. With any luck, there would be a notepad in the table he'd spied near the door, and he could scribble a little goodbye note with his contact info. He snuck back in the front door and pulled on a drawer in the foyer's table but found nothing.

He slid open another.

"Can I help you with something?" Wilder asked, appearing in the hallway nearby.

"I was going to leave my number if I could find a notepad. I think it might be better if I found a hotel."

"You don't have to go. The housekeeper should have the room ready for you by now."

Cav smiled grimly. "It's clear you really don't want me here, Wilder." It was still surreal calling the man his name, even if it was one he used rarely. "I don't want to cause resentment or anger. Or—any more than you might already feel."

Wilder sighed, craning his neck before speaking. "I'm not angry at you. I'm angry to be in this situation . To think my papa lied to me my entire life doesn't sit well. If I've made you feel it's your fault, I'm sorry. I know you're in the same position I am. Hurt and confused."

"I've just learned that I probably lost thirty years of being a father. So yeah, hurt and confused is the bare minimum of what I feel right now. I really haven't had time to take stock." Cav held Wilder's gaze, wanting the man to know just how he felt without the words. "You are… what…" He quickly did the mental math. "About thirty-three? Thirty-four?"

"Thirty-three. Birthday's around the corner."

Cav nodded and sighed. "Yeah… the timing's right, too."

Wilder's shoulder sagged. "To be honest, in some ways, this is almost a relief."

Cav's gaze whipped up. "Oh?"

"I've always sensed I was different than my brothers. They both favored our father, and while I assumed I looked like Papa, I could never find pieces of myself in him, either. I think somewhere deep down, I almost sensed something like this was behind it. I mean, I couldn't know, but… I always felt like I didn't quite belong in my own family." Wilder took a step back and leaned against the railing to the staircase. Tears shone in his eyes. "I didn't belong, did I?"

"Warden Jaymes, in all respects, was your father. He raised you." Cav's chest ached to say those words, but he sensed Wilder needed to hear them, no matter the pain they caused him. "He was your father. My appearance here doesn't take anything away from that man and what he gave you."

Wilder's gaze searched his. "I don't know that I could say the same if I were in your shoes. The thought of Avery taking our child away and another alpha raising him?" He shivered. "I'd lose my mind."

"Difference is… I didn't know," Cav said. "I had no idea what had been taken from me. There's no way I would've allowed you not to know the truth because I'd have been right here."

"Why weren't you here for him?"

There was no question who him was that Wilder referred to. "For a time, I thought him… gone. Gone gone." Cav sucked in a breath, his lungs heavy remembering that time. He couldn't even say the word in conjunction with his omega anymore. "Then when I found him again, he said it hadn't been real. That he didn't love me and demanded I go."

He'd known it was a lie then, so why had he walked away?

"And you just did?"

"There's a reason I don't drink much anymore," Cav murmured. "I fell into a bottle for a long, long time after I lost him. By the time I found my way out, so much time had passed that…" He sighed. "I wasn't sure I had the strength left to fight again. And I knew if I lost, I might lose myself, too. For good."

Wilder met his gaze, silent. His jaw tightened, and he turned to focus on the wall across him. When he turned back to Cav, he forced a smile. "Why don't you grab your suitcase, and I can show you to your room?"

Cav hesitated, unsure if he should. But he saw something in Wilder's eyes that spoke to an ache within. He'd already lost enough time with his son. Why lose a second more? He nodded. "I'll be right back."

As soon as he'd grabbed his overnight bag and closed the trunk, a limo roared into the semicircular driveway. An omega stepped out of the rear and eyed him oddly. Cav thought he remembered the man had been at the funeral when he'd approached Wynter but wasn't completely sure—he'd only had eyes for his own omega. The man glanced down at his bag before marching up to the still open front door.

"Lake! Auggie! Come on, let's go!" the omega said—clearly the aforementioned Uncle Gray.

Before Cav could follow, an alpha appeared from the backseat, glaring, and marched past, following the omega inside. Cav trailed the pair, growing even more uncomfortable. The two stood in the foyer with Wilder, watching Cav's every move once he entered the house.

"Rohan, Gray—this is—Wilder Cavanaugh. An old friend of Wynter's," Wilder murmured.

"Wilder?" Rohan asked, eyes widening as he stared at Cav.

"Cav or Cavanaugh," he said, offering a hand. "That's what my friends call me."

Rohan shook it, frowning.

"Rohan's my best friend," Wilder continued. "His omega, Gray, is Avery's uncle."

"Nice to meet you both," Cav said, offering his hand to Gray.

"Likewise," Gray murmured lowly, taking Cav's hand. "Wilder Senior."

Cav pulled his hand from Gray's and frowned at the man. He didn't understand the antagonism or what he'd done to deserve it.

"Is it a good idea to invite a strange alpha to stay here with your omega having just given birth and a tiny newborn in the house?" Gray asked Wilder.

And there it was. Avery's uncle was being overprotective. Could he really blame the guy, though?

"My omega is the one who invited him," Wilder replied.

"And I've said multiple times that I should go find a hotel," Cav added, wanting to calm things. "It's not too late to."

"You'll do no such thing," Avery declared, appearing in the foyer with Emory cradled in his arms.

Gray squealed softly, Cav forgotten as he moved closer and scooped the newborn from Avery's grasp. "Oh, look at this handsome little man." He lowered his nose to the baby's head and inhaled. "I so miss the brand-new newborn scent. They lose it too fast. All Manny smells of these days is poop and breast milk."

"He doesn't always smell like poop," Rohan said, chuckling.

"He's our fourth child, so I know a thing or two about the back end of a baby. I have never in my life seen a child poop as often as he does." Gray turned to Avery. "I've gone through more diapers than I did with the twins combined."

"I think you're misremembering the number of diapers those two blasted through," Rohan said with a grin. He moved closer to Gray and caressed Emory's cheek, smiling. "He is a pretty little thing, isn't he?"

Lake and Auggie came booming down the stairs, bags in hand. The baby awoke in Gray's arms and wailed.

"I swear the two of you are like a runaway freight train," Gray admonished before soothing the baby.

The train. Cav's mind immediately went back there. The scent and sounds of the machine. The scent and sounds that had come from their car that night.

"Sorry," Auggie whispered.

"We're used to a bunch of loud babies," Lake said. "Not a quiet one."

"What's a runaway freight train?" Auggie asked, face twisted with confusion.

"Something that has helped remind me how old I am," Gray muttered.

"Remember the old tracks we found?" Lake asked Auggie. "I told you about the train that they used to have between here and Blacksburg."

"Oh, yeah," Auggie replied.

"Before the Wildling attack," Cav said, lost in the memory.

"Wildlings attacked the train?" Lake asked, wide-eyed and curious. "Is that why they shut it down?"

"It is," Cav said. "They swooped in, kidnapped at least a dozen omegas—most of who were never seen or heard from again. That's why the Western Provinces built theirs underground. It's safer."

"There's an underground train out west?" Lake asked, a soft curiosity overtaking the earlier harshness in his face.

"There sure is," Cav said. "A highspeed one, at that. You can get from Fort Seattle to Port Sacramenti in only a few hours. Faster than the helicopter between here and Blacksburg, which is a smaller distance. I'm sure that makes it safer, too. It's harder to stop a speeding bullet. Train, that is."

"Have you got everything?" Rohan asked the boys, taking Auggie's suitcase in hand.

"Yep," Lake said. He turned back to Cav. "You've been out there? In the Western Provinces?"

"I have. I've traveled the entire globe, as a matter of fact."

"I'm applying to a school out there," Lake said. He cast a look over one shoulder. "Though, my parents don't seem to think I'm capable."

"It's not that you're not capable, it's that… it's far, honey," Gray said. He paused sniffing and touching the corner of his eye. "It's really far and we don't know anyone out there. If there was an emergency, it would take a couple of days to get out there to you. If we had reliable contacts there—family or friends we could trust, I'd likely agree, but we don't have a safety net for you. I've not said no to the other schools you've put on your list, now have I?"

"There's only two others and they're both here," Lake snapped.

"Things are changing for omegas right now," Gray said. "You were at the protests. Don't you want to be here when we finally see all the fruits of our labors?"

"I want to go somewhere where omegas already have rights. I want to see what the future looks like without having to wait for it," Lake replied.

Gray loved closer, squeezing Lake's shoulder. "Sweetie, I know it's hard to wait for what you should already have… but at least it's coming. And you're in the first class of omegas applying to universities here. That's something to celebrate," Gray said.

"There have been groups of alphas and betas protesting us applying," Lake said. "It's not going to be easy."

"Fuck those alphas and betas," Cav said. "Don't you dare let them make you shrink. Make them uncomfortable . Live loud and proud, right in their faces."

Lake smiled at him. "Burn the alpharchy to the ground."

"Exactly," Cav replied.

"Stop putting ideas in his head," Gray said to Cav. "He's got enough anger and attitude as it is."

"Why shouldn't he be mad? If I was an omega in this province, I'd be furious," Cav said. "The fight can't let up now… or those in charge are going to push back and try to reclaim what they lost."

"See?" Lake asked. "He gets it." Lake turned his attention to Cav. "Are you going to be around awhile?"

"For a little while, perhaps."

Lake smiled. "Maybe I'll see you around and you can tell me more about the places you've traveled to."

"I look forward to it," Cav said.

Lake eyed Avery. "Did you remember my letter of recommendation?"

Avery sighed. "No, sorry. I'll get it done soon."

"My college applications are due, Avery! For fuck's sake."

"Language," Rohan murmured.

"I'm eighteen," Lake spat in Rohan's direction. "Stop treating me like a child."

"Then maybe we should start charging you rent," Gray whispered hotly.

Lake rolled his eyes. "Whatever." He turned to his brother. "Letter of recommendation? I need it tomorrow. Please."

"I'm so sorry the birth of your nephew got in the way of me writing a letter extolling your virtues," Avery said. "I guess empathy and patience can be crossed off that list, hmm?"

"I think you, of anyone, would know how important it is for an omega to get accepted into college," Lake said. "You're the one who forced the doors open, so a letter from the conquering hero, might go a long way to getting me in."

"Since your grades stink," Auggie added.

"They don't stink," Lake spat, frowning. He growled in frustration before marching outside.

"I'll email you my letter tonight," Avery called out after Lake.

"Thank you," Lake yelled back sarcastically.

"What's up with him?" Avery asked Gray. "He was doing so much better. He's been a total asshole all day."

"Auggie?" Rohan murmured. "Why don't you go out to the car with your brother?"

"Oh, come on. I have a lot of opinions on why Lake's an asshole."

"Language," Rohan barked. "Outside now, young man."

"Fine," Auggie said before disappearing.

"I forgot he was standing there," Avery said once Auggie was out of earshot. "Don't punish him for repeating what I said, please."

"If we hadn't been on their asses, I'd go easy, but the babies have been repeating Lake and Auggie's curses," Rohan said. "It was funny the first time. After that, no one wants to hear a two-year-old scream asshole , shit, or fuck you incessantly."

Cav chuckled under his breath and received another of Gray's glares.

"One day, someone is going to beat Lake's ass because of that mouth," Avery said. "I don't want him hurt, but if he mouths off to the wrong person, he might learn to regret that attitude of his. Maybe sending him to school somewhere less contentious would be a better idea."

"I wholeheartedly agree. There are days he's a powder keg, ready to blow up," Rohan said.

"Which is why I'd prefer you to not set him off," Gray interrupted, glaring at Cav.

"Sorry," Cav whispered. "I was only trying to show my support."

Gray narrowed his eyes.

Rohan cleared his throat. "As I said…" He turned to Avery. "I agree. But everywhere that's open for omega applicants is so far away. If it was a province or two away, sure. But across the Palatinate? I know he's a resourceful, smart kid, but accidents happen. Gray's right. Without some kind of safety net for an omega on his own, I can't get behind that idea."

"What about an exchange program?" Cav asked. "I've heard of them in Europa. Is there a program like that here?"

"No idea what that is," Rohan said.

"We had an exchange student at Waltyn his alpha's scent sent his senses reeling.

" You're mine. He stole you from me, Wynter."

Wynter shivered all over, the emotion behind Cavanaugh's words hitting deep.

"I know all those things you said were a lie—you didn't love him. You didn't even like him, did you?"

Wynter struggled to answer the questions. He didn't want to admit he'd lied, but he knew he needed to. "I was his first. There was nothing we could've done to change that."

"I'm not going to argue this point again. We hashed it out over thirty years ago, and we're clearly not going to agree any more now than we did then. What I can tell you is I won't call that man your mate. At best, he was your husband. I am your alpha."

Wynter held Cav's gaze, noting the roiling anger in the depths. He sensed jealousy, too. Was that possessiveness simply caused by nature or was it more? Either way, the man spoke the truth. He did belong to Cavanaugh. The whole world had gotten in their way. "Yes. You are."

Cavanaugh nearly staggered as he moved back a couple of steps. "You're actually admitting it now? Too bad I didn't have a recorder taping that for posterity."

Wynter didn't want to argue, but since that was always what they seemed to do best, the words tumbled from his lips before his brain had a chance to catch up. "I only said that to push you away, but when we'd been together? I admitted then that we were bound. That you were my fated mate."

Cav's chest rose and fell rapidly, rage shining bright in his eyes, but Wynter could see the pain in there, too. Pain he'd caused, in part. " Why did you push me away when I finally found you again? Make me understand it."

"I'm sorry for my part in this. For hurting you… but I?—"

"Hurting me? You're sorry for hurting me. That's not good enough!" Cav roared, interrupting his apology. "You abandoned up… apparently pregnant with our child, and you went back to him."

Wynter fought the tremble in his lower jaw and feared he failed. "I had to."

"No, you didn't. I offered you a way out." Cavanaugh searched his face. "I wanted to give you everything, Wynter, but a man without the means your husband had access to clearly wasn't good enough for you. My love wasn't good enough for you."

It was. It meant everything. "Please don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth. Otherwise, you'd have stayed with me, and we would've raised our son together." Cavanaugh's volume rose with each word. "You preferred your mansion and your servants and your fancy fucking clothes. The galas… the fundraisers. Your place in high society." Cavanaugh paused, struggling for air. "That all meant more than I did."

"None of that mattered." Wynter drew in a shaky breath. "Only you…"

His alpha glared at him, disbelief in his eyes. "You proved to me that it did matter. You faked your own fucking death to get away from me, Wynter."

Wynter cringed, a tear slipping down his cheek.

"I nearly lost my mind when I thought you'd died," Cavanaugh murmured. He paused, searching Wynter's face. "It tore me apart. The pain?" He shook his head. "It wasn't simply emotional. What you did to me… I don't know that I can ever forgive you for that."

"I don't forgive me for what I did to you."

Cavanaugh didn't acknowledge hearing him. He looked toward the French doors, eyes glazed over as if he was lost to the pain. "Seeing the ghost of my dead mate wasn't easy either. Five years I'd lived, assuming you dead. Learning what you'd done?" He turned to glare once more. "How could you?"

"I was trying to save you."

"Save me? From that weak alpha you were chained to? Please. There's nothing he could've done to me."

Not him. "You don't understand. Money is all the power anyone needs."

"Bullshit," Cavanaugh spat.

"You don't understand!" Wynter roared, tears streaming down his cheeks.

"Then make me understand!" Cavanaugh roared back.

Wynter stumbled back, his knees buckling as he neared the bench at the end of the bed. The memories came rushing back again, and instead of forcing them away, he drank them in, tears burning his eyes. "I can't do this, Cav. Not tonight." He struggled for air in his lungs. Another tear escaped, sliding down his face. His entire body shuddered, the tears he couldn't find for Warden slamming into him for what they could have had. Wynter did everything in his power to hold it back, but it came crashing down on him—and he shattered.

"There's always some excuse."

"I didn't want to leave you! I never did! I was forced…" Wynter dropped his face in his hands. The sobs came powerful and all-consuming. He was barely able to breathe through them. "I-I-I…" He dragged in a painful breath. "I wanted to go with you. To follow our plan. The detachment, the travel… all of it. When I found out I was pregnant, I wanted to raise our son with you, not him."

Cavanaugh dropped to one knee in front of him, collecting his face in two, big strong hands. He forced Wynter's gaze up and held it, searching.

"I love you," Wynter barely got out over his sobs. "I have always loved you."

Cavanaugh dragged him closer, holding on and letting him weep for what he'd lost. What they'd lost. He melted into his alpha's arms, never expecting to find himself in them thirty years too late. Cavanaugh held him close, pressing gentle kisses against his forehead. He didn't deserve his alpha's gentleness.

He deserved the rage.

Wynter pushed Cavanaugh away, sobbing all the more. The show of kindness shattered him more than the anger had. After thirty years, his alpha still cared, even if it was only a tiny amount—and he'd pushed that beautiful man out of his life. "I want your anger, not your pity. Now's your chance. Tell me all the things you've wanted to say all these years and couldn't. Tell me how much you hate me! I know you do. I need to hear you say it."

Cavanaugh dropped into a chair facing him, suddenly looking older. "I wish I did hate you, Wynter. It would've made my life so much easier." He chuckled, the sound joyless. He rested his arms on his bent knees. "Thirty years later and here I come running, like some desperate dog, begging and pleading his master not to abandon him on the side of the road again."

"I never wanted to abandon you…" Wynter wiped a fresh tear away. Surely enough time had passed for him to tell his alpha the full truth, hadn't it? Was there anyone left that still had a hold over them? He hoped not, yet at the same time, he couldn't be certain.

"You tell me you've loved me and didn't want to leave me all those years ago and it rings like truth in my gut… but how can I believe that? Either you're telling me the truth or you're an even better actor than I assumed. Did you miss your calling in Omegawood? You could have shelves full of awards by now."

"I wasn't lying when I said I wanted to be with you. And that I love you," Wynter said.

"That means the rest was bullshit? I'm just supposed to believe you now after decades of lies?"

"I doubt you'd believe the truth." Wynter shook his head. "Though I fear telling you. I don't know if you're still in danger or not."

"Can we stop with the theatrics?" Cavanaugh asked, frowning.

"It's not theatrics," Wynter murmured. "I did what I thought I had to do… to save your life."

"It's already getting deep in here," Cavanaugh muttered.

"I was protecting you!"

Cavanaugh sat facing Wynter and crossed his arms over his chest. "Okay… let's hear it. Your version of what happened. I'm dying to know."

A shiver raced up Wynter's spine. Hopefully there was no one left that might make that last sentence a reality.