Chapter 6

6

SUTTON

O n Saturday, Emery and I had plans to meet up for the first day of the fall festival. I was actually pretty excited about it, and since Winnie had never experienced anything like it, she was brimming with excitement too.

“Is it true that there’s a chili contest?” she babbled as we walked up the street toward the Brunson house. “Are the chilies hot? Maggie in my class said there are carnival rides.”

“There should be carnival rides,” I said, squeezing her little hand in mine as I grinned at her. “It’s not the hot kind of chili, though. Not that spicy, burny stuff you don’t like. It’s like the chili I make for dinner sometimes. You like that, don’t you?”

“I do!” she exclaimed happily, peeling away from me to rush to the swing set when we arrived at the Brunsons’.

I looked up at the double-story house that used to be like a second home to me. It was a single-family, red-brick house with large, rectangular windows and a huge porch where Hawk and I used to do our homework.

I sighed as I strode up the paved path to their front door. Then I jumped when it opened before I’d even knocked. Hawk appeared in front of me, apparently having trouble getting Sawyer’s sweater over his head. Duncan crashed into them from the side, hopping on one of his feet as he shoved the other into a sneaker.

Meanwhile, Logan zoomed around behind them, yelling something about a missing blue scarf. My eyebrows rose as I took in the chaos and wondered why Hawk was wrangling all three boys by himself.

“Do you need some help?” I offered, my gaze dropping to Sawyer’s sweater-covered head where he stood in front of his uncle.

Hawk nodded, his blue eyes pleading. “Please. I think it’s stuck.”

I chuckled and got a firm grip on the thick material before I started tugging at it. “Are you okay in there, kiddo? Does this sweater still fit?”

“It’s my favorite,” he said instead of answering the question. “My arm is stuck.”

I chuckled, adjusting my grip and holding the sleeve firmly. “Okay, I want you to pretend you’re Superman about to zoom through the air and punch your arm out.”

Sawyer did as I said and his hand finally slid through the sleeve. Once it was through, Hawk managed to get the sweater over his head and then exhaled in relief. “Thanks. I had no idea this was so hard. Why do people with kids ever leave the house?”

“Because we have to,” I said. “Where’s Emery?”

“Oh, uh, she had to take our dad to the city,” he replied, glancing at the kids before bringing those eyes back to mine. “He had a rough night so he’s in the hospital today.”

“Is he alright?”

Hawk just shrugged, glancing at the kids again, and it occurred to me that it was probably best not to talk about this in front of them. Taking a step back, I slid my hands into the pockets of my hoodie and nodded.

“Right. Well, I suppose we’ll just do something together another day.”

His eyes suddenly widened. “No, I’m taking the kids to the festival with you. They’re so excited. Emery begged me to make sure they still got to go. These little savages will probably skin me alive if I don’t follow through.”

“Oh.” My heart started thudding against my ribs. I stared into those eyes I could so easily still lose myself in. “Okay. That makes sense. I suppose we should go, then. Why didn’t you just take your dad, though?”

Hawk called the boys. Once we had them all, we started our walk to the festival. The kids were slightly ahead of us, talking and laughing excitedly as we strode down the street.

“I offered to take him,” Hawk said, reminding me of the question I’d asked. “He, uh, he wasn’t so keen on the idea. Besides, Emery knows what medications he’s on and all that, so we thought it’d just be better for her to take him.”

I nodded slowly, wondering why it felt like Hawk and his dad weren’t close anymore. At the same time though, I couldn’t really think very clearly at all right now. He and I were walking side by side and I could feel his presence beside me. More than just physical, he seemed to radiate just being there , and I remembered feeling the same thing once we’d become teenagers.

There was something about Hawk that drew me to him, making me want to reach for his hand or slide my arm around his waist all the time. We’d never gone public with our relationship, but back in the day, I’d felt the same way and he’d felt it too, and somehow, even though we’d never held hands while walking down the street, we always used to find at least small ways in which to touch.

A brush of the backs of our hands. Our pinkies linking for a few seconds. My shoulder touching his bicep. Just something. Some small way to maintain contact with one another.

It was hard to deny it, even now, and I shuffled a few inches to the side to give myself some space so I wouldn’t end up brushing my hand against his. Still, it was like my skin was tingling just for being so close to him, begging me for just a short burst of contact with his.

Neither of us said anything as we strode to the festival. When we arrived, I watched Winnie and the twins run off to the house of mirrors with Sawyer desperately trying to keep up. I chuckled, inhaling the delicious scents coming from the food stalls.

“They’ll be back for something to eat,” I said to Hawk, who I was now officially stuck with. “I’m going to get a cider.”

“Is it okay to leave them by themselves?” He frowned as he watched the kids disappear into the house. “Emery will kill me if I lose one of them.”

“As she should,” I said. “They’ll be fine, though. Winnie will make sure they keep track of Sawyer and they’ll find us as soon as they realize they need tokens for the rides.”

Hawk’s chin dropped in a curt nod and he slid his hands into the back pockets of his jeans. Together, we sat down at a nearby table to drink our cider, but his gaze was taking in the carnival rides and stalls and mine was anywhere but on him.

As I’d expected, it didn’t take the kids long to realize they needed those tokens, and Winnie was back beside me in a flash. “Mam! We need?—”

She cut herself off when I handed over a little baggie of tokens I’d bought beside the cider truck. “Thanks, Mam!”

“You’re welcome, lass. Be safe and don’t lose Sawyer!” I called after her when she took off again, meeting up with the boys about halfway between us and the rides.

They spun and skipped away together, and I felt Hawk’s eyes on me as I watched them run off. “She looks so damn much like you did at that age.”

“Except for the hair.” I smiled, watching her curly ponytail bounce behind her head as they ran. “She got that from her dad.”

“Yeah. I gathered.” He paused for a beat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I dragged in a breath through my nostrils, finally turning back to look at him. Surprised to find interest flickering in his eyes as he stared at me intently, I found myself speaking even though I hadn’t planned to.

“Not really, but I know you’re curious, so I’ll talk about myself for a while if you’ll tell me about you when we’re done with me.”

“Deal,” he said easily. “Where is he? The dad, I mean. Emery told me you’re divorced?”

“Yep. As of this week, it’s official.”

His dark eyebrows shot up. “This week ?”

“Don’t look so surprised,” I said. “It took us some time to get there. We’ve been separated for over a year, but the divorce got uglier than it needed to.”

He grimaced. “I’m sorry, Sutton. Really. Emery told me a little bit about what happened and he sounds like a real dick.”

“He is,” I agreed, staring into those dreamy blue eyes and spilling my secrets without even meaning to. “My dad always hated him. So much that he never even came to visit us. Mom came every so often, but Dad refused. He said being in Calen’s company made him feel sick. I just wish I’d realized it sooner that he was right, you know?”

“I’ve heard that love is blind,” he said. “I’d imagine that’s even more true when you’re in a foreign country surrounded by the romance of the rolling hills and castles.”

I chuckled. “Yeah, maybe you’re right. Scotland can be a pretty romantic place. It’s got a certain magic to it for sure.”

He nodded enthusiastically. “It really does, right? I’ve been a few times on business and there’s just something about it. What I really want to know is how you ended up there, though. I don’t remember you ever even talking about wanting to go.”

“It’s not like I used to tell you everything ,” I said, but we both knew that was a lie. “I didn’t really want to go, though. I mean, I wanted to when it became an option, but it’s not like I was on some kind of mission to get there.”

“How did it happen, then?” he asked, surprising me again when he even leaned forward a little bit.

I smiled as I thought back to where it had all begun. Despite how things had ended for me there, my time in Scotland had been some of the best of my life. I still loved the country—even if I wished I could go back and unmeet the Scot I’d married.

“After graduation, I took a trip with a few of my sorority sisters from college. One of them had a cousin in Edinburgh who was going out of town and she said we could come stay in her house, so we just went.”

Hawk’s eyes widened. “You were in a sorority ?”

I nodded, scoffing down the laughter that wanted to bubble up within me. “Out of everything I just told you, that’s what stuck?”

He shrugged, a grin playing on his lips as he stared back at me. “I just never knew you were the type.”

“Why? Because I was the nerdy girl in high school? People change, you know. Especially once they really start spreading their wings.”

“You did that, then?” he asked. “You spread your wings?”

I chuckled. “Took risks and everything, if you’d believe it, but anyway. I went on this trip with my friends, met Calen in a pub in Edinburgh and essentially just never came home.”

“Wow.” He let out a low whistle. “That sounds absolutely nothing like you.”

“Like I said. People change.” I took a sip of my cider. “I always thought I’d end up working there as an archaeologist or being a tenured professor eventually somewhere like Oxford or Trinity.”

“Well, you’ve always loved history. I suppose that didn’t change.”

“No, it didn’t.” I managed a weak smile as I looked back at him. “I’m surprised you even remember all this stuff about me.”

He smirked. “I remember everything, but we’re still talking about you. You’re not an archaeologist or a tenured professor?”

“Nope. I married Calen only three months after I met him when I was only twenty-one. Winnie was born just after my twenty-second birthday. Staying home with her seemed like the right thing to do at first. I didn’t mind it at all. She was my priority and I figured there’d be time to build a career later.”

“Let me guess,” he said. “It never happened?”

“Calen started pulling away long before she could go to school. With him not around so much, there was no way I could even think about pursuing a career that would take up so much of my time.” I pursed my lips. “What about you? What are you up to in California? It is California, right?”

“Los Angeles,” he confirmed. “I started my own shipping company, if you’d believe it.”

I chuckled. “Oh, I believe it. The only part I don’t believe is that you wound up living in Los Angeles . I’d have thought you’d hate it there.”

“Are you kidding? It’s amazing. The parties. The clubs. I mean, you should see my house. It’s four thousand square feet of pure awesome.”

I blinked hard. Pure awesome? Four thousand square feet?

I didn’t even know where to start with that statement, but it was suddenly very obvious to me that he was not the same person he used to be.

First, it sounded like he was very, very rich if he could afford a house that size, and second, he seemed all about the glitz and glamour now. The clubs. The parties.

All of that sounded like a far cry from the dirty hockey player who used to sneak me onto his dad’s recreational fishing boat and ride along the coast with me. Thankfully, I was saved from having to think of a response when Winnie ran back up, glared at Hawk, and then glanced at me.

“Can we go get something to eat, Mam?”

“Of course.” I stood up immediately, only too happy to have an excuse to get away from him for a minute. “I’ll grab something for the boys as well. Stay here and guard our table. We’ll be right back.”

He dipped his chin into a nod and I took Winnie’s hand, quickly leading her toward the food stalls and wondering why she’d glared at him. Before I could ask though, she and I ran into someone I’d really hoped I would never see again.

My stomach plummeted to my shoes. Being home had been okay for those first couple weeks, but now suddenly, all of these blasts from the past were coming at me from all sides and making me question if I’d been prepared for life back in Portsmouth after all.

Right now, between Hawk and the girl he’d taken to prom instead of me, I really didn’t think I had been.