Chapter 28

28

SUTTON

H awk’s grip on me was tight and reassuring as he walked me to my apartment. Personally, I felt like the world was still spinning too fast and it was making my stomach swirl, but since no else seemed to be swaying, I was going to go ahead and assume it was only shock.

I could not believe that Calen was actually here. I couldn’t believe how he’d grinned at me back at Bayshore and I couldn’t believe he’d acted like nothing had ever gone wrong between us, the cheating prick.

Winnie, of course, had been delighted to see him, and for that, I was happy, but the rest of me felt like I’d been hit by a freight train.

At first when I’d seen him, I’d thought I was fine, but I very much was not fine. The more time I had for reality to sink in, the less fine I was.

“Sutton?” Hawk prompted gently once we were in my living room. “Are you okay?”

“Everything is fine,” I said, turning to smile at him. I released his hand and grabbed the bottle of whiskey he’d been carrying. “Drink?”

“Yes.”

“Excellent.” I grabbed two tumblers from the cabinet and set them down on the counter with a soft thud. Then I cracked open the bottle and filled them to the brim, not bothering with ice. Without waiting, I took a swig of mine.

The smooth, warm liquid hit my tongue. I drew in a deep breath through my nostrils and put the tumbler down, pressing both my palms against the counter. Letting my head drop forward, I stayed like that for a moment, shutting my eyes and focusing on my breathing.

“I know I’m overreacting,” I said softly, keeping my head down for a second longer before I lifted it to look at Hawk. “It’s just that Calen actually showing up is shocking and I didn’t prepare myself for it, nor did I prepare Winnie. I really didn’t think he would come.”

Hawk ran both hands through his thick, dark hair and took a deep breath. He strode forward, wrapped his long fingers around his glass, and brought it to his lips to take a long drink. Then he settled across the counter from me.

“You’re not overreacting,” he said, gaze firm and calm. “Do you want to tell me how you’re feeling right now?”

I shook my head. “Everything is fine. Really. It’s just a shock, is all. I’ll get over it in a minute.”

“Okay,” he said lightly, pushing away from the counter to wave a hand at my couch. “Should I just wait, or…”

I pursed my lips at him, trying to hide a smile. I gave my head another shake. “Okay. Fine. Maybe it’s going to take more than a minute.”

“Come sit with me.” He took a swig of his drink and held out his free hand. I placed mine in it and he pulled me down on the nearest armchair.

Careful not to spill, he moved me into position in his lap so I was looking at him but not straddling him, and then he tucked an arm over my calves where they were hanging over the armrest. The other arm slid around my lower back, and his head tilted up so his eyes were on mine.

I settled into his embrace, making myself comfortable in his arms and feeling an unmistakable sense of safety and familiarity wash over me. It allowed me to pull oxygen into my lungs and actually fill them for the first time since I’d heard Calen’s voice. I groaned, my eyes latching onto Hawk’s as if I needed to look at him to keep breathing.

Our relationship, while new, felt so natural to me that it was almost like we’d spent no time apart at all. Like all along, Hawk had been my port in the storm, my anchor, and my keel, keeping me upright even in the harshest of winds.

Letting myself feel like this about him again was dangerous, but I gave in anyway. “Calen hasn’t been around Winnie in a long time. I’m terrified of him coming here and getting her hopes up that he’s going to make more of an effort with her from now on.”

“That’s what you meant when you said you didn’t prepare her?”

I nodded. “A few weeks ago, I got an email from him that said he was coming for Thanksgiving. I was convinced he was going to let me know on the day or maybe even after that he couldn’t make it, so I didn’t say anything to her.”

“You didn’t want to get her hopes up?”

“Calen has hurt her so badly in the past,” I murmured. My eyes slid shut at the pain of the memories that swept across my mind. “He’s still her father, though. She was so damn happy to see him. She always is. No matter what shitty thing he does to her or how many times he lets her down, as soon as he shows up, she’s over the fucking moon about it.”

Hawk’s jaw hardened, but he didn’t interrupt.

“Outside of that one email, I didn’t hear from him again. He didn’t tell me that he’d bought a ticket or when he would be getting in. I didn’t know anything about his plans, and yet, he’s ticked off that I didn’t offer to let him stay with us.”

“He really thought you’d invite him into your home after everything he did?”

I sighed. “When I told him the Bayshore Inn was just down the road and that I was sure he would get a room there, he got all huffy and offended.”

“What an entitled dickhead. I would never let someone who cheated on me stay with me.” Hawk shook his head.

I was barely able to keep a train of thought. On the other hand, there was no train. Today, I had a bunny of thought. A drunken, erratic bunny that had had the crap scared out of it and was scrambling to get away.

“I know that she’s going to spend time with him while he’s here, but how am I just supposed to let her go with him? What if he wants her to sleep over? How many times can I call to check in on her without being one of those women who refuses to give them space to bond? Where are Maeve and the baby? Are they here? Are they coming? Will they be spending time with Winnie too? What if she bonds with the baby and then they’re all just gone again?”

Hawk leaned over to set his glass down, then took my face in his hands and stared at me intently. “One thing at a time, Sutton. He didn’t insist on her going back to the inn with him today. That’s a good start. Maybe it means he realizes that she needs time to get used to having him around.”

“I doubt it. I don’t think she played a role in that at all, actually. Calen was pissed I didn’t offer him a room here and he stalked off to get checked in. That’s all there was to it. I don’t think he thought as far as Winnie.”

“Then he continues being an idiot.”

I shrugged. “Something we can both agree on, but here’s the thing. I saw her face when he stormed away and she wanted to go with him. Obviously. He came here to see her and the first thing he does is to walk away again, and sure, he walked away because he was pissed at me, but if he really wanted to spend time with her, surely he would’ve asked her to come with him. Or to have dinner with him tonight. Or breakfast in the morning. Just something.”

“Fair enough,” Hawk conceded, swiping his tongue across his lips before he finally voiced the thought I’d freaked out about before. “Do you think he’s come here for a different reason? Like to bring Winnie back to Scotland with him?”

I took another huge gulp of my drink and dragged in a steadying breath and shook my head. “Calen wouldn’t do that. I thought about it when I first saw that email from him, but he’s never been a hands-on dad. He just kind of popped up to be the fun dad, going against the schedules I laid out for her and undoing her parenting.”

Hawk slid his hand into mine, threading our fingers, and squeezed.

“After we separated and he moved in with Maeve, he barely spoke to either of us and then, when I filed for divorce and told him I wanted to bring Winnie back to the States to be closer to my parents, he didn’t fight it. In fact, he agreed. As long as I agreed not to fight him about the money.”

Calen had tossed Winnie and me aside and he hadn’t looked back. Until now.

Hawk wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace, bringing me to him and simply holding me as he kissed my forehead. “Don’t worry about it, okay? He’ll be gone before you know it, and if you want to call a hundred times an hour while they’re together, do it. Any man can be a father, but you’ve got to earn your right to be a dad and he hasn’t done that.”

“True, but I’m still worried.”

“I know.” He pulled back to look into my eyes, leaned forward, and brought his mouth to mine.

The kiss was gentle at first, tender and meant to reassure, but as I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him back, I deepened it, desperately needing him to help take my mind off it. He chuckled against my lips, breaking the kiss to take the glass out of my hand and set it down.

“You sloshed whiskey all over the chair,” he murmured into my mouth.

My nose wrinkled. “I’m sorry. I forgot I was still holding it. Did I get you wet?”

“A little, but not as wet as I’m about to get you.” He winked playfully, then kissed me again like he meant business.

Slanting his lips over mine, he brought his free hand to my ribs. Spreading his fingers, he touched me in as many places as he could at once, running his hands up and down my sides and brushing his fingertips along the undersides of my breasts.

At the same time, he grabbed my hips and spun me to straddle him, helping me slide a knee in on either side of his hips. Once I was in position, he started thrusting slowly and brought a palm to my lower back so he could hold me in place as I ground against him.

Frissons of pleasure raced through me and I moaned, holding his face between my palms. I returned his passionate kisses. The more I gave myself over, the more it was like I could feel my worries melting away.

Hawk was right. I just had to take it all one thing at a time and remember that I was Winnie’s champion. He could be the fun one, but it was up to me to protect her and to advocate for her actual needs.

As soon as I accepted that, I smiled against Hawk’s lips and started undoing his shirt. I quickly moved from one button to the next, and when the fabric fell open, I brushed my fingertips against his bare skin. The heat coming off him made me shiver.

I let them dance across it and he sucked in a breath. Then he reached for the hem of my sweater and pulled it over my head. The air filled with our moans and sighs as we kissed our way through getting each other naked.

There was nothing slow or tender once he got inside me, but he gave me exactly what I needed, taking me hard and fast and making me forget that the word worry even existed. I exploded around him in no time at all, my screams of pleasure muffled by his kisses as he kept thrusting hard, in complete control until I sagged against him, spent and sated.

Finally giving in to his own climax, he emptied himself into a condom deep inside me, but then he opened his eyes and gave me a look so piercing, so filled with love, understanding, and protection that I felt the last pieces of the guard collapse around my heart.

We might not have had the opportunity to speak more about us yet, but in that moment, I knew that Calen’s reappearance hadn’t changed anything.

Hawk still felt exactly the same way about me as he had before, and the knowledge nestled deep in my soul. He wouldn’t let Calen or anything else come between us and the trust I’d been trying to place in him grew stronger.

He was still here, still with me, and hopefully it was true that he would be staying.