Chapter 38

Afew minutes later, Elizabeth judged that Miss Darcy was sufficiently composed and stepped to the wash-stand to fetch a cool cloth for her. Miss Darcy willingly took the cotton square and wiped her cheeks, then withdrew a handkerchief from her pocket and rubbed it under her nose.

“What say I call for tea? I would wager you could use a cup, and perhaps something to eat?” Without meaning to, Elizabeth spoke as though addressing a child.

Miss Darcy nodded. “I suppose I ought to eat. I have not since yesterday.”

“You must be very hungry.”

When Miss Darcy shrugged, Elizabeth fought to keep from frowning, concerned the younger woman would see the disapproval and it would make it more difficult for her to accept Elizabeth’s help. Not eating would only make her feel worse, and she was determined to see that Miss Darcy consumed a good meal.

Elizabeth summoned Jane’s maid, requested she arrange for tea and food, and asked that Bingley’s valet be informed she would require his services in five or ten minutes. She then sat beside Miss Darcy once again. “You heard me say I would need my brother’s valet?”

Miss Darcy regarded her suspiciously and nodded.

“I feel we must send word to your brother to inform him of your whereabouts.” When Miss Darcy began to shake her head and opened her mouth to speak, Elizabeth gently laid a hand over hers. “It must be done. I understand you acted in the manner you believed best for him, but I promise you, he has never wanted you gone. I am as certain of that as I am that we are here together. He and the colonel will be frantic not knowing where you are and that you are safe—and you are safe with me.”

Elizabeth could have done the deed surreptitiously, but she believed she had earned some of Miss Darcy’s trust and she did not want to lose it by keeping her intentions a secret. Miss Darcy had confided in her, perhaps in a way she had not any other person. That she had felt able to tell Elizabeth what had happened in Ramsgate was a responsibility and, in its own way, a privilege. Miss Darcy hung her head and kept her gaze downwards, but she did not withdraw her hand; Elizabeth considered it a victory, and she dared to forge ahead.

“Your brother loves you dearly, as does your entire family. They are good, caring people and want only the best for you. Do you know that your cousin Rebecca and I have become friends?” Miss Darcy nodded without looking up. “She speaks so well of you and hopes that you and she will grow closer now that you are older. You may not know this, but Viscount Bramwell is in love with her.”

“My brother said he thought they would marry.”

Elizabeth gave a soft chuckle. “I would be very surprised if they did not. Since you spend a great deal of time with the earl and countess, you will see her more often. Would that not be lovely?”

Miss Darcy nodded.

“It can be difficult to recognise how much the people closest to us love us. Even before I met you, I knew that your brother adored you. Nothing has changed that, not even having to give up his hope of marrying me. When we met last summer, I liked you very much, and I knew that, if I did marry your brother, I would soon grow to love you as much as I do my other sisters. I still believe that is true and that you and I could become good friends one day.”

Miss Darcy glanced at her, and Elizabeth saw that her cheeks had taken on a little colour.

“Your brother wishes the situation were different, absolutely not that you were gone from his life.”

“I know what he wishes. He wishes he could have you, and if I were not here, he could.” Miss Darcy spoke quietly but with conviction.

“And I know that he wishes he had never let you go to Ramsgate, that he had never hired Mrs Younge, that he had told you why he was no longer friends with that man. In other words, he wishes he had better protected you, and he wishes he knew how to help you be well again.”

There was a pause in their conversation as tea and plates of pie, fruit, and cake arrived. As Miss Darcy began to nibble at the food, Elizabeth wrote a short note to inform Mr Darcy that his sister was well and at the inn where she and the Bingleys were staying. She asked the valet to send it express, impressing on him that it must reach Pemberley as quickly as possible, and to apprise Jane and Bingley of the situation when they returned.

Elizabeth took a cup of tea and once again sat on the bed. The room had only one chair, and Miss Darcy was occupying it as she ate. For her part, Elizabeth had no appetite, and she suspected her companion needed the sustenance far more than she did. Miss Darcy watched her from the corner of her eye. Her expression was guarded. Elizabeth allowed instinct to guide her words and hoped she would not make the situation worse.

“I understand if you distrust what I said earlier, but your brother and I have spoken about everything. Last spring, he wanted me to understand why our…friendship had to end. My impression was that he needed someone to speak to candidly, someone he trusted and who was not as affected by what happened as your family is.”

“I thought he told you in December.”

Elizabeth shook her head. Later, she would review their conversation on the day of Jane and Bingley’s wedding; she suspected she had done him—and herself—a disservice. “You might believe you have failed in some manner, but he would say the failure was all his—that he was not a good enough brother to you.”

Miss Darcy held a forkful of lemon cake aloft and gaped at Elizabeth. “But he is too good to me. He always has been, especially after I was so reckless.”

“I do not say I agree with him, but neither do I agree with you blaming yourself. I suppose you might have acted differently that summer, but I understand why you trusted Mr Wickham.” When Miss Darcy flinched at the name, Elizabeth gave her a reassuring smile. “Do not be afraid of his name. It is a word and meaningless. I despise him as I never have anyone else and as I hope I never shall again, but I refuse to give him so much power over me that even his name affects me. I pray that one day you will be strong enough to say the same.” She allowed Miss Darcy a moment to contemplate this before continuing. “Do you feel your brother and Colonel Fitzwilliam are to blame for failing to examine Mrs Younge’s character sufficiently or not better preparing you to go out into the world?”

Miss Darcy placed the fork on the table, having consumed most of the food. She turned the chair so that she was more directly facing Elizabeth. “They did nothing wrong. They have always been very careful with me, and I know they consult Lady Romsley all the time. She approved of Mrs Younge.”

“I am sure she and Wickham planned their scheme very carefully. Unfortunately, they were able to accomplish part of it, but I am grateful beyond measure that it did not entirely succeed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mr Darcy believes Mr Wickham wanted revenge because your brother had refused to give him money in the past. By injuring you, he succeeded. But you are not married to him, which he must see as a failure. What you have endured these last two years has been difficult, but your suffering would have lasted your lifetime had your brother not refused to force a marriage.”

There was a long pause before Miss Darcy said, “I had not considered that. But if my brother had made me marry him, he would not have been free to pursue your sister.”

Elizabeth shrugged. “I suppose that is true, but I see a difference in the situations. Do not mistake me—I do worry for her. But Lydia views eloping as a good joke, and she was content to live with him despite being unmarried. She sees nothing wrong with what she did. Your brother attempted to convince her to leave him and go to my aunt and uncle Gardiner, promising to arrange a better future for her. Did you know that, or of his role in her marriage?”

Miss Darcy shook her head. She listened attentively as Elizabeth explained about having received Jane’s letters and Mr Darcy arriving at the inn in Lambton just as she had read the dreadful news. “That is why the Gardiners and I left so unexpectedly. Your brother vowed to assist in finding Lydia, and he was the one who did. When she refused to leave Mr Wickham, your brother convinced him to marry her and purchased a commission for him in a northern regiment.

“I wish Lydia were not bound to him. But my relief that you are not is greater than my regret that she is. She may come to despise the consequences of her actions, but for now she is content. They might get on together reasonably well in the future, especially if they do not expect much in the way of love and companionship from each other.” To herself, Elizabeth added, Or fidelity. “In other words, it is possible Lydia will do well. You would not have. Taken all together—the people involved, the particulars of what happened—it is better this way.”

Miss Darcy leant forwards and regarded her with wide eyes. “You really believe everything you have said to me?”

“I do. Every word of it.”

They continued to look at each other, Elizabeth struggling not to speak and instead leave Miss Darcy to her contemplations. Eventually, Miss Darcy yawned widely.

“You are tired. That is hardly to be wondered at. Would you like to rest for a while?” Elizabeth asked.

When Miss Darcy nodded, Elizabeth helped her into the bed. She was asleep almost immediately.