Chapter 34

Jane led the way to Elizabeth’s bedchamber. She refused to answer any questions until they were alone, shaking her head whenever Elizabeth so much as said her name.

As soon as they were in the room, her expression became one of regret, and she grasped Elizabeth’s hands. “Oh, Lizzy, I am so sorry.”

“What has happened? Jane, you are worrying me. Is it news from Longbourn?”

Jane shook her head, and Elizabeth pulled her to the settee. Once they were seated, she wiped her sister’s cheeks with a linen handkerchief. Then, she insisted Jane tell her what had occurred.

“Bingley was so happy when he returned. Mr Darcy sees no reason he should not purchase Larch Lane, and Bingley liked it even more today than he did when we went together.”

“But that is good news, is it not? Have you decided you do not want to be settled at such a distance from Longbourn?” Elizabeth enquired when her sister failed to go on.

“No, it is not that. I am afraid you will be very angry with me.”

“Why? I could never?—”

“I told him, Lizzy,” Jane interjected, then covered her mouth with a hand and looked aghast as she awaited Elizabeth’s response.

“Told him? What are you talking…” Her voice faded as her sister’s meaning occurred to her.

In a rush, Jane continued. “I was glad for Mr Darcy’s good opinion, of course I was, but then Bingley said something about us staying at Pemberley longer so that he could meet with the seller’s solicitor, or whomever one sees about such things, and I knew we could not. You and I talked of needing to depart as soon as possible, and I tried to tell Bingley that I thought we had asked too much of Mr and Miss Darcy as it was and they would want their house to themselves again, but he did not agree.

“When I tried to insist, he wanted to know why I did not want to stay. Did I dislike Pemberley, or perhaps it was Mr Darcy or his sister I did not care for? I could not agree to that! He kept insisting on an explanation for why I wanted to leave, and I had to tell him about you and his friend. I bungled the whole thing so terribly, and I am sorry. He was shocked and so angry, more than I have ever seen, even more than he has been with his sisters. He says he does not blame us, but…I know you did not want him to know.”

“Never mind it, Jane.” Elizabeth’s voice sounded flat to her ears. She stood and went to look out of the window. It was dusk and difficult to make out more than shapes on the horizon.

Jane continued to apologise, but she stopped when Elizabeth shook her head and said, “He would have found out sooner or later.”

But now that he has, it changes so much.It felt like an ending—and not of Bingley and Mr Darcy’s friendship alone, if Bingley truly was as angry as Jane presently believed. The end was for something between her and Mr Darcy. While she had accepted months ago that they would never be married, Bingley knowing forced her to accept it in a different manner. It was subtle, but she felt it deep within herself.

Swallowing heavily, Elizabeth returned to her sister’s side and embraced her, whispering into her ear. “It is immaterial. It is not such a bad thing that Bingley knows, even though I did not want him to. It is not as though my mother learnt of my past with Mr Darcy. That would be another matter altogether.” She tried to laugh, as much for Jane as for herself. “Your husband is an excellent man, and I trust him completely. My only regret will be if it affects their friendship. I shall speak to him and convince him it need not.”

They spoke for a few minutes about Larch Lane and where they might go from Pemberley, agreeing that an inn close to the estate would be the most convenient choice for several days. Then they could continue on their way to Scarborough. What would happen after that, Elizabeth could not speculate, but she knew it would not involve Mr Darcy.

“Colonel, do you mind if I have a word with Darcy alone?” Bingley said.

Fitzwilliam caught Darcy’s eye; he shook his head, indicating he had no notion what Bingley wanted to say to him.

“Very well. I shall be in the library.” The colonel swallowed the last of his wine and left the room.

As soon as they were alone, Bingley’s expression changed. It became colder and accusatory, not unlike it had when Darcy told him of his interference in his relationship with Miss Jane Bennet, as she had then been.

“I had the most extraordinary conversation with my wife. She spoke of us needing to leave Pemberley as soon as possible, and naturally, I asked why.”

I can answer for her. Elizabeth can no longer tolerate my company. No doubt Fitzwilliam’s arrival has made it worse, but it is me she wishes to escape.

“It was not easy to convince her to tell me the entire tale, but I believe it was a relief for her to unburden herself of the secret. Can you imagine how stupid I feel—how stupid I know I am—for never realising you were in love with Lizzy?”

“Bingley—”

“No, Darcy, you have had more than a year to tell me of your attachment. You did not wish to then, even after all the times you listened to me talk of Jane, and so I ask that you let me say what I will before you attempt to justify yourself.”

Darcy lowered his chin, both to acknowledge Bingley’s request and to avoid seeing his anger. He had always known that their friendship was at risk if Bingley discovered how he had treated Elizabeth. She and her sister had both considered it a possibility too, which is why they had said nothing of it to him. In less than five minutes listening to Bingley, Darcy knew they had all been correct.

Bingley’s fingers drummed on the mahogany tabletop as he spoke. “I cannot recall how many times I asked Jane if all was well with Lizzy. Even last winter—no, before that. Last autumn, I could see that her spirits were not what they should be. Not long after we arrived at Pemberley, I asked Jane again. Each time, she assured me there was nothing for me to worry about, Lizzy was simply fatigued, required more exercise, et cetera. I readily admit, I am not the most observant chap, but you would think I would have noticed a pattern. When she and the Gardiners were here last summer, she was lively and as joyful as any person has a right to be. Even when you and I returned to Hertfordshire, she was happy, especially considering what the family had just gone through with the Wickhams.”

The sound of the hated name made Darcy recoil, and Bingley evidently noticed. He paused and regarded Darcy for a long moment before nodding.

“Yes, I can see how little you like the mention of him. You never have, but it has worsened, has it not?” He paused briefly. “This is what I have been told. You will be good enough to tell me if there is anything essential I have misunderstood or that Jane has chosen not to disclose.

“You have been in love with Lizzy for well over a year, perhaps dating back to when we first met the Bennets. The two of you had some sort of disagreement when you met in Kent the Easter before last, but when you saw each other again in Derbyshire, you forgave each other. She is or was—I do not pretend to know what she feels at present—in love with you, and you gave her reason to expect a proposal when we returned to Hertfordshire last September. But then, you went to town and did not come back until directly before my wedding. You all but promised yourself to her, then you left her, knowing how she felt and what she had every reason to anticipate.”

“It is not so simple,” Darcy interjected. He leant forwards, his chest touching the edge of the table, as though closing the distance between the two of them would make Bingley believe him. “It was because of the youngest Miss Bennet’s marriage. You know a little of my history with Wickham, but there is more to it.” He provided a rough explanation of Wickham convincing Georgiana to agree to an elopement. He said nothing about Wickham injuring more than his sister’s heart. “She cannot bear to hear his name, and when she learnt that he was now Elizabeth’s brother, she became convinced that she would have to see him if we were married. She and my family begged me to consider Georgiana’s happiness above my personal wishes, and…” He held his arms aloft as though asking what he could have done.

Bingley took a deep breath and slowly released it. His voice might have been slightly less angry when he next spoke, or that might have been only what Darcy wished to hear.

“I see, and I am very sorry for Miss Darcy and you. But once I brought Lizzy into your house, once I suggested doing so, you ought to have told me. I am responsible for her well-being, and I can hardly protect her properly if I am kept in the dark about such important matters. I wish she or Jane had told me, but when it was clear they would not, you ought to have done it.”

Darcy nodded, accepting the rebuke.

“I understand you decided you could not offer for Lizzy. You did not want to distress your sister, and if you told me your uncle and aunts raised objections, I would not be surprised. But I cannot believe you, of all men, could not find a better way, especially since—from everything I have heard—you were honour bound to her, even if not actually engaged.”

Heat suffused Darcy’s cheeks, and he was glad the gentle candlelight meant Bingley was unlikely to notice. “You are correct. Are you surprised that I agree with you? Elizabeth knew I intended to propose after what was supposed to be a brief trip to town last autumn. I placed myself in an untenable position. In a moment of panic, I promised Georgiana I would not marry Elizabeth unless she was comfortable with me doing so. She was not, and in truth, meeting Mrs Bingley and having you all to stay here has been difficult for her. I believe she only acquiesced to you coming because, like your wife and Elizabeth, she did not want to damage our friendship. She does not fear being near your wife as she does Elizabeth, for some reason I only vaguely understand, and she has always liked you, which helped, I suppose.”

Bingley watched him for a long moment. Darcy could not guess what he was thinking, but he doubted it was anything pleasant. At length, Bingley pushed himself away from the table and stood.

“We cannot remain. Jane, Lizzy, and I shall leave first thing in the morning.”

Darcy also got to his feet. He jerked his head in acknowledgement. “I want you to know?—”

“I am grateful for everything you have done for me, Darcy, but Lizzy is my responsibility, as your sister is yours. I shall always put Lizzy’s happiness—and Jane’s, needless to say—above any friend. You would expect nothing less of me, and you would act exactly the same in my position. You did exactly that when you rejected Lizzy for your sister and other relations. I expected better of you. I used to consider you the best of gentlemen, the most honourable, and one whom I could trust to always do what was right. I forgave you for lying to me about Jane, and you vowed never to behave in such a manner again. And yet, here we are. It is not even myself I am angry for. First, you injured Jane—the woman I love more than I do my life—and then to discover you also injured Lizzy! I do not know what to say to you. I do not know whether I shall ever have anything to say to you again.” Bingley strode from the room.

The Bingleys and Elizabeth left Pemberley before breakfast the next day. Darcy did not attempt to speak to any of them, choosing instead to discreetly watch from a window as the carriage drove away.