Chapter 26

Elizabeth experienced an odd assortment of sentiments upon entering Derbyshire. Since leaving Graystone, she had spent a great deal of time during the long carriage rides and quiet nights contemplating the two gentlemen fighting for space in her heart. She had almost determined that she could gladly marry Mr Grey.

“I might not feel the same overwhelming draw to him that I do—did—to Mr Darcy, but I could be happy with him, if I allowed myself,” she whispered to herself shortly before dawn on what would be their first full day in Derbyshire.

Jane and she had not talked of Mr Darcy since leaving London, but during their time at Graystone, Jane had asked what she felt for Mr Grey. Elizabeth suspected her brother and sister would be pleased if she married him, which added to her confusion, and she would only admit that she liked him.

To date, Bingley had said nothing of making a trip to Mr Darcy’s part of the county, and Elizabeth was relieved.

The silence ended when he announced at breakfast several days later that he had received word from his agent.

“He has discovered not one but two estates that sound like just what we are looking for! Do you want to know the best thing about them?” He continued without waiting for a response. “They are both within twenty miles of Pemberley! I wrote to Darcy and told him we would trespass on his kindness.”

Elizabeth’s eyes flew to Jane, who was staring at her, her expression mirroring the same alarm. Fortunately, in his happy mood, Bingley did not notice.

“He will not object. Indeed, he would be insulted if he learnt we were nearby and did not stay with him. You will love Pemberley, Jane. I know Lizzy does, and I certainly have always thought it one of the most marvellous estates I have ever visited. If we like one or both properties—and they both sound perfect for us—Darcy can give us his opinion. He knows a great deal more about estates than I do. How good it would be to settle near him!”

Elizabeth was horrified by the prospect of returning to Pemberley. Not only did Bingley expect her to go there, he expected her to stay there, to sleep under his roof! Desperately, she sought a way to avoid it, but there was none. She had no friend thereabouts she might claim a desire to visit, and how could she explain a sudden, urgent need to return to Hertfordshire? Bingley would never agree to her taking a public conveyance and would insist on driving her in his carriage, which would mean disrupting his and Jane’s tour and journey to Scarborough, and Elizabeth would not be responsible for such an outcome.

She left Jane to say all that was proper in answer to Bingley’s enthusiasm, though if her sister heard the details of the estates they were to visit any better than Elizabeth did, she would be shocked. Jane was pale, and her voice was weak when she spoke. It was astonishing that Bingley did not notice. Then again, thought Elizabeth, he had failed to recognise his friend’s love for her or how awkward they were towards each other all the months they were in town. Today, his enthusiasm must partly account for his overlooking what seemed glaringly obvious to her.

Later that same day, Bingley left the ladies at the inn while he went for a walk. No sooner was he gone than Jane took a seat next to Elizabeth. Their hands found each other’s, and they remained thus connected as they discussed his announcement.

“It is time to tell him the truth about you and Mr Darcy. Then he will understand why we cannot go to Pemberley,” Jane insisted.

Elizabeth was shaking her head before the last syllable of his name left her sister’s lips. “There is no need for it. Miss Darcy will have him refuse if she finds the notion too daunting, and unless Mr Darcy puts us off, I can manage a few days at his estate. He and I—all three of us, really—must accustom ourselves to sometimes being in company. Should we divulge the truth, I truly do believe that Bingley would sever his friendship with Mr Darcy. Perhaps I am mistaken, but I do not think that I am, and I would hate to be the cause of it.”

“You think too much of it! Bingley loves you, and he would choose your happiness and comfort over his friendship with Mr Darcy without a second’s hesitation. Yes, it has been significant to him, but he has different priorities now—me and our family, which you are a very important part of, as you surely know.”

Elizabeth embraced her. “I do, and it is because he is such a good man that I want to do this for him. It is just a few days—supposing Mr Darcy agrees to us staying, which I doubt he will. What harm could there be in it?”

Jane took a long moment to think, during which she kept her gaze fixed on Elizabeth. At length, she said, “If you are absolutely certain.”

Elizabeth nodded.

“Very well, I shall say nothing to Bingley. However, if at any time you change your mind, if you find it too difficult once we are there, you must promise to tell me. Bingley would be very angry if he discovered we remained there despite you being miserable. Worse, he would be hurt I did not tell him sooner.”

“I would hate to cause any strife between you, and I promise I shall tell you if I find it would be better for us to leave.”

Privately, Elizabeth desperately sought to understand why she despised the notion of Bingley knowing the extent of her history with his friend. Was it embarrassment? Or was it because, if he knew, she would surely see less of Mr Darcy? She refused to believe that a part of her longed to go to Pemberley and be near him again, but a persistent little voice in her head suggested that might be the case.

And if it is true, I am a horrible person. How could she think otherwise, knowing the visit would only cause Mr Darcy and her pain, to say nothing of Miss Darcy? And then there was Mr Grey to consider. If her feelings for Mr Darcy were still so strong, she must ask Bingley to write to Mr Grey to inform him that he should have no hope where she was concerned. To do otherwise would be unconscionable.

The post arrived in time for Darcy to peruse it at the breakfast table. He set aside two that were related to business affairs and one from the earl in favour of reading Bingley’s. His friend was making a slow journey to tour vacant estates and had sent previous letters in which he had expressed his disappointment in those he had viewed. Bingley’s passing mentions of Elizabeth, which were always sprinkled throughout his notes, were what made Darcy particularly anxious to receive his news. He was not surprised that Bingley had come to appreciate Elizabeth, and he was glad for her that she had such a caring brother.

The opening paragraph contained the usual sort of information—where they had been, that they were all healthy, and that he hoped Darcy and Georgiana were well and enjoying the summer. It was what followed that made Darcy softly gasp and gape at the paper, his vision clouded and heart thudding.

They were coming to Pemberley. Elizabeth was coming to Pemberley.

You will not mind putting us up for a few days, will you? It is presumptuous of me to assume you will, but I know you would be upset if we did not impose upon you and you later discovered how close we had been.

He most assuredly did not object. Once again, he would have the exquisite joy of seeing her in his home, sitting in his drawing room, strolling in his gardens. She had been delighted with his corner of Derbyshire last year. What would she think currently? Immediately, he began to plan. Which rooms would he give her—and Bingley and his wife? What would he do for her amusement? She had particularly liked the path beside the stream; had it been tended to properly of late? Then there were meals to consider. He would ensure her favourites were included, and?—

And he had to tell Georgiana of Bingley’s request.

He looked across the table at her, a sheet of paper still clutched in his hand. She was reading a letter from Fitzwilliam, her features brightened by a slight smile.

Please let her be strong enough to bear their visit. I want—oh, how I desperately want—Elizabeth here. Perhaps it will help alter Georgiana’s views of her becoming my wife.

His vow to give up that dream had vanished the moment he knew he might see her. It was reckless of him, and he would not burden Elizabeth with his desires until he could abolish the barrier between them. But if Georgiana did well during Elizabeth’s stay…

He delayed speaking to Georgiana of Bingley’s letter until that afternoon. It gave him several hours to anticipate seeing Elizabeth without having to confront his sister’s possible—even probable—dislike of the scheme. It also meant he had time to contemplate how best to tell her and make her see that it would be pleasant to have guests. He truly believed it would be better for her to see more people, and since she remained disinclined to involve herself in the neighbourhood, people must come to her.

She was in her sitting room, working on a drawing of a colourful blossom when he went to her. Mrs Annesley had gone into Lambton on errands; thus Georgiana was alone.

“Do I disturb you, my dear?” he said.

She shook her head and set aside her pencil and paper.

“May I see it?” Darcy took a seat beside her and indicated the drawing.

Silently, she gave it to him; he spent a long moment examining it, intending to show her that he was genuinely interested in her pursuits. So often, she seemed to feel she was an inconvenience and that none of them particularly cared for her, save perhaps Fitzwilliam and Lady Romsley.

“It is lovely. You have made remarkable progress. I especially like how you have captured the subtle variations in colour in the petals.” He smiled and placed the sketch on the table.

“Mrs Annesley has taught me a great deal,” she said, her voice hardly above a whisper.

“I am glad you have such a useful and sympathetic companion.”

She nodded but said nothing.

“I had a letter from Bingley this morning. It contained interesting news.” Georgiana kept her eyes lowered and gave no sign of curiosity. “You know they are on their way to Scarborough and are viewing estates along the way, searching for one they like enough to purchase. It so happens that he has learnt of two that are near Pemberley.”

At this, his sister met his gaze. Her eyes were opened a little wider than usual, as though she suspected what he would say next. Gently, he placed his hand over hers.

“He has asked if they can stay here while they are in the neighbourhood. It will be agreeable to have company, will it not?”

“I-I do not need company, and, Brother, them? She is with them, and?—”

“And it has been a year, or close enough, since…everything that happened last autumn. There is no harm in either Mrs Bingley or Miss Bennet. You said yourself that Mrs Bingley is pleasant company, and when you first met Miss Bennet, you found her agreeable.”

She bit her lips together and turned away from him.

“I can give him no good excuse, Georgiana. At present, he does not know what I once hoped, but avoiding them might just make him realise something significant occurred between Miss Bennet and me. If he knew, I am afraid it would be the end of our friendship. I disappointed him once before, and this would be too much for him to overlook. I would prefer to avoid taking that risk.”

He might be overstating the situation, but he had to make his sister accept the inevitability of seeing the Bingleys and Elizabeth. It was true that he expected Bingley would view him differently if he knew how he had treated Elizabeth, but it would be easy enough to devise a reason to keep Bingley and his family from coming to Pemberley.

When Georgiana remained silent, he added, “It is just for a few days. You will hardly see them. Your youth and studies with Mrs Annesley can be an excuse to absent yourself during the mornings, if you feel it is necessary. Besides, they will be occupied with their search for an estate.”

He overlooked her evident reluctance when she nodded her consent.