Chapter 17

Elizabeth’s chief source of happiness was seeing how joyful Jane was, and the more she knew Bingley, the more she loved him. She also revelled in being in town and knew she would have been miserable had she remained at Longbourn. There was so much more to do in London and so many more people to spend her time with, all of which suited her wonderfully.

One afternoon in the third week of March, Elizabeth was in the park with several young people she had befriended. The weather was fair and more spring-like than winter-like, and she was glad to take advantage of it by strolling amongst the elm trees while getting to know her companions better. The sun was bright and just strong enough to warm one’s skin; she caught sight of several birds, and all was well with the world.

Then she saw Colonel Fitzwilliam and Miss Darcy walking towards her.

Evidently, they did not notice her at first, being caught up in their own conversation, but when they were about twenty feet away, Elizabeth could not mistake how the colonel’s features hardened or how Miss Darcy tightened her hold on him and seemed to cower, as though Elizabeth would harm her.

Her own steps faltered, and she felt her sense of peace sink to her feet. She had liked Colonel Fitzwilliam when they met the previous year. Knowing he disapproved of her marrying Mr Darcy made her rethink her good impression of him. She was also injured by Miss Darcy’s rejection, for she had seemed pleased by her brother’s interest in her when they were together in Derbyshire.

But because Lydia married Wickham, I must suffer. If Lydia had been lost forever, I would understand, but I cannot see why I am rejected because of my connexion to him! It is not as though I intend to have anything to do with anyone by that name!

It was impossible to pass each other without speaking unless they wished to give a deliberate cut. Thus, Elizabeth approached the pair and curtseyed. “How do you do?”

Miss Darcy said nothing. She stood still, her eyes facing the ground, and clutched her cousin’s arm with both hands. Colonel Fitzwilliam glanced at his young charge before nodding at Elizabeth and returning her greeting.

“I see you are also taking advantage of the fair weather. I remember how much you enjoy walking.” His voice matched his stiff demeanour.

“So I do. It provides me with an excellent opportunity to spend time with some of the friendly people I have been so fortunate as to meet since coming to town. I ought to join them. I wish you both a good day.”

She offered the cousins a polite smile and quick nod before walking away, satisfied she had done her duty but nothing more. Once she had anticipated calling them family. At present, she could only think of them as the sort of arrogant, disparaging people she despised.

Perhaps I ought not to be surprised. I have met Lady Catherine, and she is one of their closest relations. No doubt the remainder of their family is the same, even Viscount Bramwell, despite his seeming amiable. The sooner I forget all of them, the better.

“Are you well, Georgiana?”

Her cousin’s gentle voice broke through the dark cloud that had descended over Georgiana the instant she saw Miss Bennet. It enveloped her as though it were a shroud. She bit her lip and nodded.

“Is it very difficult even to see her? You know your brother will do nothing to cause you injury, and he tells me he is avoiding her and has given up any notion of them marrying. I have no reason to suppose he is being untruthful.”

He patted her hand which still rested on his arm. Part of her wanted to separate herself from him, run back to Berkeley Square, and hide in her chamber, but she knew that would be cruel when he was doing his best to be considerate of her feelings. Besides, the thought of being alone in the park, or anywhere in public, frightened her.

“Knowing she knows him, is his sister, when I see her—it is too much. I know how important Mr Bingley’s friendship is to my brother, and I am trying to be comfortable with Mrs Bingley for his sake, but it is worse with Miss Bennet.”

“It is because you know Darcy wanted to marry her, to make you accept her as his wife. He ought to have known it was a terrible idea.”

Georgiana said nothing for a while. When she had first met Miss Bennet, she had liked her a great deal. She had even thought that it would be a rather wonderful thing if her brother married her. He would be happy, and she might have the sort of sister she had always dreamt of. Her cousin’s objection to the match, along with that of her aunts and uncle, made her realise she was wrong to ever look upon it with favour. As kind as she was, the social gap between Miss Bennet’s family and that of the Fitzwilliams and Darcys meant such a union was inappropriate, just as her own with him would have been. Georgiana would die if she was forced to be sister to his sister.

However, seeing her brother’s misery made her hate herself. It was because of her, and she was to blame for all the family upset since the autumn—no, dating back to last summer, when she had so stupidly believed his false proclamations of love. Worst of all, Fitzwilliam and her brother were fighting, as much as they tried to hide it from her. They had been the best of friends, but their connexion was destroyed.

“I wish you and my brother were not angry with each other,” she said, her voice quiet and tentative as always.

Colonel Fitzwilliam squeezed her hand. “Do not concern yourself with us. We shall be frustrated and disagreeable and believe the other is being unreasonable for a little longer, then this period will pass, and we shall be friends again. It will happen before you know it. Our only concern is you, and seeing you improve will encourage us to forget every difference of opinion we have ever had. You are doing so well, sweetheart, and that makes him, me, all of your family so very happy. Think only of what you need to continue to recover, and let Darcy and me worry about everything else, including our connexion.”

Once again, Georgiana nodded. She kept her eyes on her boots as they completed their walk.

“Is something amiss, Brother? Y-you are not happy.”

Darcy looked up from his almost full breakfast plate to his sister. In truth, he had been thinking about Elizabeth. He tried to keep his distress from Georgiana, knowing she would blame herself and it would interfere with her recovery, which he believed was proceeding well. He had accepted that Lady Catherine had been the one to tell her of his intentions, and he would never forgive his aunt for giving her the idea that, should he and Elizabeth marry, Georgiana would be thrown into Wickham’s company regularly. It was false, but once the notion was put into her head, his sister was incapable of banishing it.

I did the right thing by giving up Elizabeth, as much as I suffer for it. Georgiana needs more time to heal, and she must be my chief concern.

Aloud, he said, “I am perfectly well. Do not worry yourself over me.”

“Fitzwilliam and I saw her, Miss B-Bennet, during our walk the other day. Did he tell you?”

This caught Darcy’s attention, and he stared at her. It was the first time she had willingly mentioned Elizabeth since learning of her youngest sister’s elopement. Was she remembering how much she had liked her? Had the shock of learning of the Wickhams’ marriage lessened? Would she tell him that she would gladly accept Elizabeth as her sister-in-law? Darcy prayed such a day would come to pass, but it was soon evident it would not be this day.

“He did not,” he said in answer to her question. “Did you speak to her?”

Georgiana shrugged. “Our cousin did. I…” She reached for her neck and pinched herself, digging her nails into her flesh.

Quickly, Darcy stood and went to her, covering her hand with his own. “Let us not talk of her further,” he said, hoping he adequately masked his disappointment and being forced to acknowledge that her objections had in no way lessened.