Chapter 30

Bobbie Jo left her bedroom decked out in denim from head to toe. Out in the living room, Hattie sat with Tarr at their tiny kitchen table, their heads bent over something on one of their phones.

"Is this too much?" she asked, drawing both of their gazes.

Hattie got to her feet, her smile already in place, while Tarr just leaned back and looked at her. "Absolutely perfect," Hattie said. "Are you wearing the red boots with the white stars?"

"Yes," Bobbie Jo said. "I just—they're out here in the closet." She indicated the coat closet behind the couch. "It's okay? I don't look like I'm trying too hard?"

"You're wearing jeans from head to toe," Hattie said. "It's fine."

Bobbie Jo didn't want to talk about her fears, her humiliation, and her insecurities in front of Tucker's best friend. She didn't know what, if anything, Tarr told Tuck. She glanced at him, an idea occurring to her. "He didn't say what it was about tonight, but he texted to say we're going to Rockets, and that place is nice."

"It's casual-nice," Tarr said. "You look great, Bobbie Jo. Tuck'll be thrilled to see you in denim. It's his favorite fabric." He got up and picked up the empty plates from the table. "Hattie, let's give her some privacy."

Hattie didn't move from in front of Bobbie Jo. "You're okay?" She wore worry as easily as she did mascara, and Bobbie Jo loved her for it.

"I'm okay," she whispered. "It's Tucker, Hattie." He wasn't going to hurt her—at least not physically. She had no idea what he had to tell her, but she'd been on and off the farm in the past couple of weeks as she looked for another job.

Something had to give in her life, and Bobbie Jo had decided that maybe if she didn't live on the farm with Tucker, they could start a relationship. She still wasn't entirely sure she was ready to start dating again, but if she was, she wanted it to be with Tucker Hammond.

"Yeah." Hattie moved in and hugged her. "It's Tucker." She gave her a soft smile as she pulled away, and then she followed Tara to the back door, laced her fingers through his, and together, they slipped outside.

Bobbie Jo drew a deep breath and turned in a full circle. "A date with Tucker," she murmured to herself. He hadn't specifically said it was a date, but he'd named a time well after work, when he'd have finished and showered, and he was taking her to a steakhouse on the outskirts of the city.

They could go anywhere in a fifteen-minute radius and get burgers, tacos, French fries, or pizza. But he wanted to drive forty minutes, eat with her, and drive her back. Her lips buzzed at the very possibility of kissing him that night, and Bobbie Jo started lecturing herself as she opened the coat closet to get out the star-studded boots.

"You will not kiss him tonight," she said sternly. "The last time you thought you'd do that and be all friendly caused this huge rift." Really, it was her inability to talk to Tuck, to get past her humiliation and fears, to start another relationship when so much was still bleeding and raw from Oklahoma.

Several knocks sounded on the door as she sat on the couch, and Bobbie Jo's pulse went into a complete tizzy. "Come in," she called anyway, and then she bent to get the boots on.

"Hey," Tucker said from behind her, and Bobbie Jo glanced at him without making eye contact.

"Hey, I'm just putting my boots on. Two seconds." She zipped up the sides of the ankle boots on the left, then the right, and she got to her feet. "Ready."

He hadn't come down and around the couch, and she met his eyes with the piece of furniture between them. He was seriously what Hattie had called him months ago—the hottest cowboy alive—and Bobbie Jo's mouth turned to sand.

"Aren't you a pretty picture?" He grinned at her, flirting so easy for him. He wore a black and silver plaid shirt with short sleeves, blue jeans, and the darkest black cowboy hat a man could find.

"Thank you," she said. "It's new." She moved away from the couch and cocked her hip, planting one palm there. "It's a dress."

"I see that." Tuck moved toward her, and for a moment, it felt like it might be the easiest thing in the world for him to gather her into his arms and hold her tight. A hello hug.

Bobbie Jo ached for that, as she didn't get many hugs. Zero around here, in fact. He stuttered his step, something anxious in his gaze. Then he plowed forward and put his arms around her. "It's so good to see you," he murmured.

Bobbie Jo sighed and allowed herself to relax into the circle of his safe embrace. "You too."

"I mean, I see you around," he said. "But it's not the same."

It wasn't, but Bobbie Jo didn't need to verbally agree with him. "You've got a reservation?" she asked.

"Yes." But Tucker didn't move immediately. He held her for several more moments, and Bobbie Jo closed her eyes and simply melted away into the scent of his skin, his cologne, his fabric softener. "We better go."

"Yes." She cleared her throat and stepped back as he did, and they separated far easier than they'd come together. "Let me just grab my phone and wallet." They waited for her on the counter, so she took two steps and had them.

He took her hand and led her out the front door much the same way Tarr had led Hattie out the back. Bobbie Jo pulled the cabin door closed behind her and tucked her hair against the breeze trying to undo the curls she'd put in after her own post-work shower.

"Who'd you interview with today?" Tuck asked as he opened the passenger door of his truck for her.

"You'll never believe it," she said. "But HMC. Development and Research Department." She pushed herself up and onto the seat and grinned at him. "I think it went well too."

"That's fantastic, Bobbie Jo." He closed her door, his handsome smile etched in place, and rounded the truck to the driver's seat.

"It's at least a three-interview process," she said. "And this was my first one, so I've got a ways to go."

"No one will be better qualified than you," he said. He did seem more reserved tonight than she'd seen him in the past, and that caused her voice to dry right up.

Tuck drove them out of the cabin community and around the homestead to the main road. Then right off the farm and toward the city. The radio warbled on low, country music filling the silence between them.

The drive started out comfortable, but by the time Bobbie Jo realized Tuck had cleared his throat three or four times, the mood shifted. She glanced over to him. "You can just tell me."

He looked at her too, the highway they drove not busy right now. "I was hoping you'd have some of those fried mac and cheese balls you like before I do."

"Okay," she said. "But I can see you're quietly freaking out."

He grinned. "You can see that, huh?"

"You've cleared your throat a million times."

He chuckled, the sound deep and rich and delicious. "Sounds like you can hear it then, not see it."

"Tomato, tamahto," she said, a flash of irritation stealing through her. "It might be better for both of us if you just tell me."

"All right." But Tuck didn't blurt out the inner-most thoughts of his heart. He shifted in his seat. He gripped the steering wheel. He even adjusted the radio up and then turned it right back down.

"Bobbie Jo," he said. "I'm really unhappy at the farm. It's not where I want to be. I came there for Tarr, to help him heal, with the expectation that we'd rejoin the rodeo as soon as he was cleared to do so."

"Yes," she said, because she knew all of this.

"It's been a year. Tarr's been cleared for months. He doesn't want to go back into the rodeo, and I don't want to be at the farm. So…." He looked over to her, a death grip on the wheel and the truck barreling forward at sixty-five miles-per-hour. Without watching the road, he said, "So I'm leaving. I'm going to Coral Canyon for the summer. I'll stay with my parents. I'll make a new plan for my life from there."

Bobbie Jo heard the words. She felt them punch the air right out of her lungs, leaving her gasping and desperate for a proper breath. She couldn't look at him while she did that, so she quickly switched her gaze over to the side window.

"You're leaving," she whispered. This wasn't a first date that would turn into a second. Part of her felt nothing but relief, but another part only wallowed in sadness, in regret. "When?"

"Next weekend," he said. "Sunday morning."

She whipped her attention back to him, fire blazing through her now. "Next weekend?"

"Yes." He'd refocused on the road, and he didn't look at her. "I gave my two-weeks notice last week, and I've been packing a few boxes every morning and every evening." He faced his own side window for a moment. "Heck, I could probably leave tomorrow morning. It's not like I own a whole bunch."

"I just—wow."

"Are you surprised?"

"Yes," she said. "Yes, I'm surprised."

"Why?" he asked. "You knew I didn't want to work my family farm for my whole life. I manage rodeo careers. It's what I'm good at. It's what I love doing. I'd love to stay with Tarr, but he doesn't want the career. So I'm gonna find someone else who needs a good manager, and I'm going to get back in the ring."

Bobbie Jo started nodding about halfway through his mini-speech, her gaze stuck out the windshield at the landscape blurring by. "I know, Tucker," she said quietly. "I'm sorry you're not happy at the farm."

"It's not like you are either," he said.

She gave him a glare. "I'm fine where I am."

"Yeah, which is why you've been applying to jobs all over the city."

"The reason I came here was to get a job."

"You've been at the farm for over a year too."

"It was…." Bobbie Jo choked on the words coming to mind. "Easy," she said. "I'm familiar with the work there. It was convenient. It was comfortable." And yes, Tuck had been there. She'd never said as much, but Tuck was a huge reason why Bobbie Jo had stayed at the farm. And now, it looked like they'd both been looking for other opportunities.

None of hers would take her to Wyoming, though, nor around the western US and Canada on the rodeo circuit.

"Easy, convenient, and comfortable," Tuck said. "Why are you leaving, then?"

"Because no one grows in an easy, convenient, comfortable environment," she said. "I feel stagnant. Stale. I'm not moving forward, and I'm not moving backward. I'm just…suspended in air, desperate for someone to pull me back to solid ground."

Tuck reached over and threaded his fingers through hers. Oh, it felt so good to hold his hand. "I'd pull you back down, Bobbie Jo."

What he didn't say shouted through the cab of the truck: If you'd let me.

"I'm sure you would," she whispered. More houses and buildings started dotting the highway, and they'd be at the restaurant very soon. "Listen, Tuck," Bobbie Jo said. "I didn't mean to kiss you that day. You know that, right?"

"Of course," he said easily, like he hadn't given her blunder a second thought. But she knew Tucker better than that.

"I just—I've felt so guilty, because I had just broken up with Lawson, and I wasn't ready to start another relationship right away, and I didn't want you to think I'd taken advantage of you."

"I know I've had a crush on you since minute one," he said. "Everyone knows that." The last three words came in a tone of darkness, and Bobbie Jo wished she could erase it. "I didn't mean to put any pressure on you at all. It was a lot of flirting and fun and jokes. You know that, right?"

"Yes," she said. "And just so everything is out between us before we get there, I've wanted to go out with you for a while too. A long time, actually. I wished things between us weren't just flirting and fun and jokes. But I didn't know how to do that with you." She looked away from the golden evening light bathing everything in her line of sight. "I still don't."

"Not everything tonight is a flirting joke," he said. "This is a real conversation."

She leaned her head back against the rest and smiled at her partial reflection in the glass. "Yeah," she said. "It's been nice, too."

"I agree." He kept driving, and Bobbie Jo kept thinking about what she could say to him to get him to stay on the farm. But the truth was, she might not even be there for much longer. You'll be in town, though, she thought.

He pulled into the parking lot at Rockets, and Bobbie Jo's time ran low. He parked; he dropped to the ground and came around to open her door for her; he filled the doorway, all smiles and gentlemanly cowboy vibes, and he reached for her hand.

Bobbie Jo gave it to him again, marveling at how wonderful skin-to-skin contact could be, and she slid into his arms. "I wish you weren't leaving," she said. "And I just need to make sure it's not because of me."

"Well, it's partly because of you," Tuck said. "I'm not going to lie about that. My feelings for you haven't really changed—I've just hidden them better. But it's like Tarr said this morning, maybe it's just not the right time for us."

"Do you think you'll come back to the farm ever?"

"My family is here," he said. "Of course I'll be back in the area from time to time."

"But not permanently."

"Permanently is not in my plan right now, no." He gazed at her with sadness and pure male desire. "I do wish things had been different when we'd first met. You know that, right?"

She nodded, letting her eyelids fall closed. "I won't long-distance date again, so I won't suggest that."

He chuckled, and she leaned her cheek against his chest to feel the vibrations of it. "Yeah, the last time didn't work out so well for you."

"Maybe God will bring us together again," she whispered.

"Maybe." Tuck drew a deep breath, and Bobbie Jo lifted her head. He looked toward the restaurant and back to her. "I would really like to kiss you once before I leave. Just to have that with me."

Her eyebrows went up. "Tucker Hammond, are you being a flirt right now?"

"No, ma'am." He didn't even smile, and Bobbie Jo's slipped from her face too. "Distance can make the heart grow fonder, right? And if I know what I'm missing, maybe I'll come back faster. Sooner."

He didn't seem to be joking or poking fun at her. Bobbie Jo did want to kiss him. So she slid her hands up his arms to his shoulders, then to cradle his face. "All right," she whispered.

Tuck had never truly hesitated with her until that moment, and he looked at her for what felt like a good, long while but was probably only a second or two. Then he cupped the back of her head in one of his big, strong hands, and lowered his mouth to kiss her.

Bobbie Jo had had several boyfriends over the years, but none of them had ever, ever kissed her the way Tucker Hammond did.

So she kissed him with everything she had, hoping to give him a really good memory…that would hopefully bring him back to her someday.