Chapter 18

It was deep into the night by the time we finally arrived back home. The ride had been long and eerily silent. What had happened with Easton was going to take a lot of unpacking and processing. I could already feel my mate's guilt pouring off of him. I wasn't sure if it was because he accidentally led me straight to Easton or if it was because he took a life, but neither of them were his fault. Easton would've found me either which way, and his death? That was coming too. Sure, it would've been better at the hands of the council, but Easton gave my mate no choice. None.

I hadn't let go of my mate's hand the entire trip. I couldn't. That point of contact was the only thing keeping my beast at bay.

Today had been terrifying at a level I'd never experienced before. Finding and then nearly losing my mate… it was like living out a nightmare. I didn't want to let him go ever again. That wasn't possible, but try telling my beast that.

And it wasn't like I hadn't known from the get go that my mate would be at higher risk than most. Being part of Steelwick made that the default. Any mission with Steelwick pride had the potential to be dangerous. This was different, though. It was personal and connected to me. That made it different.

The motion of the car, paired with the warmth of his touch and the exhaustion that came with my current stage of pregnancy, had me dozing off despite the adrenaline rush. It wasn't until the car came to a full stop that I woke up again. It probably hadn't been more than a half-hour nap, but my head was already clearer.

"Are we home?" I asked, not knowing if he had gone to Steelwick or Asilo. I'd been half sleeping and half dreaming for a chunk of the time and wasn't sure which was which.

I was still in awe that he'd managed to control a partial shift enough to undo the rope. I'd never managed to partially shift at all, and he'd mastered it. He never ceased to amaze me.

"Yes, mate, we're home. Let's go inside." He unbuckled my seatbelt for me.

"We have so many things to bring in." We'd filled the car to the brim with old belongings that had been stuffed in the attic all these years.

It wasn't the right time, but what would be? I helped Tetris it all into the car, not completely sure all that we managed to get or where we would keep it. If the box looked like it had any use or sentimental value at all, we grabbed it. Neither of us were in a state of mind where we'd be able to make hard decisions, so we left all those until later.

Apparently now was later.

"They can wait until morning," he said.

I glanced at the clock. "It is morning."

"Then they can wait till afternoon." He got out of the car and came around to the other side.

My half-awake brain wasn't working correctly enough—I fumbled for the latch on the door but accomplished nothing. Instead, he opened it for me and lifted me out. He was right. They could wait. In the state of mind I was currently in, the odds were too great that I'd break something.

My cheeks ached where Easton had slapped me. The fucked-up part was, he hadn't done it to hurt me. Not really. He'd slapped me with the sole purpose of making sure my mate could hear the contact and my reaction. I'd tried to hold it in, to not give him what he wanted, but after the first slap, I realized that he could easily do something worse to me, something I might not recover from. When the second contact came, I didn't hold back, letting all around me hear how badly it hurt.

Other than my face, the rest of me was unharmed, thank the goddess. I was carrying our baby, and if anything had happened to them, I'd never have been able to forgive myself.

Beckett's condition was another story. He still had red marks and bruises around his wrists where he had been held, the rope burning through his flesh. We weren't sure what Easton had done to those ropes, but it was definitely not run-of-the-mill twine if it had marked him so.

"I can walk. You should be the one being carried—you were injured," I said.

"Not really, and even if I was, I need this—to take care of you and our baby." He kissed my temple. "I'm so very sorry to have worried you, mate. And doubly sorry for putting you in harm's way. If I had a chance to do it all over again—"

I cut him off. He didn't need to go down that train of thought. "You would do the same, because when all is said and done, the end result is the one we needed." I snuggled into him.

"How did I get such a wise omega?"

I held him close, my arms wrapped around his neck. "In a way, it was kind of nice to see the old territory. I hope that Steelwick does something with it now, or the council, or whoever's in charge of that. If we're going to have empty territories around, someone should make use of them—not people who are in hiding, but people who need them."

It boggled my mind that they had left our pack territory to rot. It wasn't rundown or one of those packs that lived more in their fur than skin and hardly had any dwellings. It was a beautiful land with quality buildings. It had to be exactly what some fledgling pack needed.

"Agreed," Beckett said.

I fought back a yawn as he carried me into the house and down the hall to our bedroom. I got on my own feet before he could put me into bed. "I want to be close to you, mate. I'm not letting you go," he said.

"I want to—" I stopped short.

He cupped my cheek and forced me to look into his eyes. "What do you need, mate? Anything you need I'll provide."

"Get rid of these clothes," I replied. "They smell like him. And let's shower. Please—I don't want any trace of him around me or you."

If my mate had offered to start a burn pile for the clothing, I'd have started collecting firewood. The scent of Easton burned my nose, and I had to force myself to focus on what was actually in front of me. Easton was dead. My mate had killed him. I couldn't be sorry for that.

But also, I didn't need to be reminded of it every time I inhaled. That was a fresh kind of hell. In the car it hadn't been as noticeable, but now that I was out of the confined space with my mate and filled with family items, it was bad. Real bad.

"We can do that," Beckett said.

He left my side briefly to turn on the shower, letting the water warm. When he came back, he had a garbage bag in hand. He began taking off my clothes, slipping my shirt over my head and tossing it into the plastic bag. What a good mate.

"I'll leave them outside tonight and will wash them tomorrow."

"You're… you're everything, alpha mine."

I sat back on the bed while he carefully removed my shoes, then my pants. He did the same for his own things, dropping them all into the bag. He brought them straight outside, leaving them on the porch.

"Smart," I said. "I wouldn't have thought of that."

He crossed over to me, burying his nose into my neck and inhaling deeply. "You're already starting to scent like yourself—and our child." He put a hand over my swollen belly.

At first I didn't smell any different. But as my pregnancy progressed, I noticed it more and more. Omegas always had their scent change during pregnancy, but I never realized just how much. Mortimer had said that you noticed it more on yourself.

My stomach had been a mess of knots today while I stressed about getting to my mate and finding him safe. But now, it was calm. The little fluttery feelings were from my child and not fear.

The two of us got into the shower and spent an inordinate amount of time scrubbing each other clean. Usually our showers together had very little to do with cleanliness and everything to do with exploring each other's bodies. Not tonight. Tonight we were on a mission.

I worked the soap into a lather on the cloth and scrubbed it across Beckett's shoulders and down his chest. He did the same for me. The slow, methodical pace we set seemed to appease our animals' desire to know that we were both safe, healthy, and alive—in each other's arms, where we belonged.

His lips found mine as I lathered the shampoo through his hair, the water cascading over us. It was a sweet kiss, one that showed how much he cherished me. Before Beckett, I'd never realized how much you could tell your partner with one little kiss.

I scrubbed his scalp and let the suds fall between us, providing us with a slippery surface for our skin to glide against one another. His sweet kiss deepened, and we were no longer bathing. We were clean, and it was time to move onto our normal showing activities.

"Need," I moaned in his ear.

Beckett hoisted me into the air, his hard cock entering me slowly. No preamble, just my mate giving me exactly what I needed. His mouth moved from my lips across and down to my neck.

"Beckett," I moaned as my head tipped back. I wanted his lips on me. Everywhere. There wasn't a part of my body that I didn't want touching my mate.

His thick cock filled my channel, while my own cock was hard between us. We were one. He slid in and out of me, holding me up, my back against the shower wall.

"Thomas, omega mine," he growled.

"I love you… so much," I said.

"I love you too. I'm sorry I did not tell you where I was going. I had hoped it would be a surprise."

How was he having a coherent thought? All I could do was feel. I laughed, my hips moving gently, coaxing him deeper.

"It was a surprise," I said. "I was definitely shocked, but yes, next time, just tell me—or perhaps just take backup."

"I'll do that," he said.

"Now stop apologizing and make me come already."

I didn't have to tell him twice. He began moving with purpose, in and out, faster and harder with each thrust. Faster, but not fast. He still moved with deliberate slowness.

He was torturing me, coaxing my release out of me one thrust at a time until I exploded in his arms.

"I needed that." I rested my forehead on his shoulder.

We stood there for a long time afterward, his knot pressing against my channel. He held me, whispering sweet words in my ear, kissing my cheek, my neck, my chest—everywhere he could reach. Meanwhile, I didn't let go, my arms wrapped around his neck, my legs wrapped around his hips. I could stay this way for eternity.

The hot water tank disagreed, and when the water began to chill, we dried each other off and then climbed into bed. I snuggled right in, becoming his little spoon, his arm draped over me.

We didn't say a word. We just listened to each other's breaths evening out until soon enough, Beckett drifted off to sleep, me following along right after.