Who Are You, Really?

I pay for my ticket in cash.

Walk like a zombie to my sleeper cabin.

And start crying as soon as I lock the door.

Traveling around Europe by train has also been on my bucket list of impossible dreams, but my heart is too broken to feel anything outside pain.

Please, God. Please.

I can't remember feeling this lost. The last thing I'd ever want is to leave the life I have with Calixte. But if I stayed, I'd either have to kill him or die trying. It's the only way my father would stop sending me feline murder notes for good.

So what now, God?

I don't know what to do.

Please help me.

My body involuntarily curls in a fetal position as I pray, and I keep praying until I fall asleep in a state of exhaustion.

When I wake up, it's still dark outside---

But I'm no longer alone.

Calixte.

I sit up so fast that the whole room spins for a second. But when he tries to reach for me, I immediately rear back, and his handsome face turns stoic as he lets his arm fall back against his side.

"How did you find me?" I whisper.

"I never lost you."

Impossible.

Drugging people was one of the "skills" my father forced me to learn at a young age. I triple-checked everything, and I know there's no way I could have made a mistake.

"You'd need to use a bit more than you did to make me lose consciousness."

My confusion clears even as terror fills my heart.

What now?

Could he have possibly figured everything out already?

And is he after me because of it?

"Why do you want to go back to him?" my husband demands.

"I don't."

"So why are you leaving me?"

"Because I have to. I have no choice---"

"Because of the cats."

My head jerks up at the flatness of his tone.

Impossible, I think again, but this time I'm starting to feel hysterical. How could he have known? How?

"I read your diary. Remember?"

No, I think numbly. I actually didn't remember at all, but I should have. Heartbreak seems to have made me dumber by the second, and I just don't know what to think anymore.

"Please just let me go," I say brokenly. "My father has obviously figured things out. He knows you're not just Dauphin Tueur but that you're also the same man who escaped his clutches."

"You don't have to fear him, Eden---"

"Don't you think I want to believe that, too? But look at what's happening now. Even when he's behind bars, he's found a way---"

"He hasn't."

"But all those reports on the TV---"

"Fake news."

"But the videos, the photos---"

"Deep fakes."

If there's one thing I know, it's that my husband is no liar. But I also find it so hard to believe that everything he's said is true.

It's just impossible for all of those things to be fake.

And even if they are---why?

What reason does he have to go to such lengths?

"I d-don't understand."

"My men have been watching your father's every move even when in prison. We knew of his plans to contact people he knew in my city even before he made the first call. We wanted him to think that he was getting his message delivered. If he thinks everything's going his way, he's more likely to slip, and maybe..."

"Maybe...what?"

"I'd somehow figure out what he has on you."

God, oh God.

A part of me wants to deny his words.

To just keep pretending that no such secret exists.

But the larger part of me is tired of all the unspoken lies.

My Lord is my helper, is He not?

And He said I shall not fear, did He not?

So isn't it time I stop being afraid?

My husband crouches down on one knee, and my tears spill down my cheeks.

I trust You, God.

I trust You.

No matter what.

Calixte reaches for my hands. "Talk to me, mon ange. You can trust me as well."

It's almost as if he's heard my prayer, and the thought makes me cry even harder.

"I'm not his daughter," I confess haltingly.

"And?"

"W-What do you mean 'and'?" Did he not understand what I'm saying here? "I'm not his real daughter, Calixte. So marrying me hasn't given you any leverage---"

"I didn't marry you for leverage."

All I'm able to do once again is stare.

"Then why?"

Why would he still marry me?

"Why do you think?"

Impossible, I think for the nth time.

It can't possibly be what I think is.

I just can't.

My husband's lips tighten. "I know I'm no saint. But if you give me a chance---"

A choked cry escapes me when I realize he's actually trying to convince me to love him back.

"I don't understand," I sob out. "Why would you love someone like me? I'm no one---"

"You saved me. Changed me. And if that's not enough, you even made me believe in your God. How can I not love you?"

All I can do is weep.

"Talk to me, mon ange ," he urges raggedly. "I can't help you if you won't tell me what's wrong."

(God, why? Why are you so good to me? Why?)

"Is it your father you are still worried about? Because if it is, I want you to understand that everything is going to change," Calixte stresses. "Now that I know he truly has no hold over you, I'll have him moved overseas and in solitary confinement. There will be no way for him to harm anyone or any creature for the rest of his life."

I wait for dread to come over me at his words, but all I feel is hope.

Calixte tightens his grip on my hands. "I'm not saying these things to make you feel better, Eden. I'm saying it because it's the truth...and I can prove it."

Oh no.

I didn't even realize that my silence had made him think I was questioning his words. But just as I'm about to tell him there's no need for any such evidence, he's already beat me to speaking.

"Are you aware of the name Ombre ?"

I know the word means 'shadow' in French, but I also know there's this secret government agent that goes by this code name. He's like a real-life mix of Jason Bourne and James Bond, and... oh...my...gosh.

"You're him, too?"

" Oui ."

My head starts hurting in a familiar way. Does this mean people who know him as either Calixte or Dauphin...has no idea that he's also Ombre, whom everyone in both law enforcement and the criminal underworld knows of...but have never seen?

"Do you trust me now?"

"I've always trusted you---"

"Then will you stay?" he asks abruptly. "I'm not asking you to love me back. All I'm asking is for a chance---"

Calixte's back hits the wall behind him with a thud as I throw myself into his arms.

"How is it possible," I ask shakily, "that you've outsmarted all the bad men in this world while remaining absolutely clueless about how I've fallen in love with you from the--- mmmph. "

My husband, ever the fast learner, is not one for wasting time.

Because now that he knows I love him back...

Yes, oh yes.

It's like coming alive after being dead for so, so long when my husband lays me down on the cabin floor and surges inside of me in one powerful thrust.

Finally, oh finally.

I finally know what it means to live happily ever after.