Choices

" W hy did you choose to do this?"

He looked at her quizzically. "Pleasure you in my office?"

She blushed, and he smirked. She rolled her eyes, and his heart slammed against his chest.

Because this right here...

Her ability to react and interact with him naturally and without fear---

It was the thing Calixte had desired the most when he married her. But unlike all the things he had wanted and worked his ass off to possess---she was the one thing he had known no skills of his could help him with.

From the day he made her his wife, he had also known that everything had to be her choice, and that there was nothing he would be able to do if she persisted in distrusting and seeing him as the enemy.

From the day he had taken her home with him, he knew he had either damned himself for a lifetime of celibacy or...

This.

His wife was shaking her head at him, an exasperated look on her lovely face. "You know that's not what I meant!"

A lifetime of being with someone he could never deserve.

"I don't, actually."

And there was nothing he wouldn't do to preserve it.

Her expression turned uncertain. "Really?"

Calixte sobered upon realizing that her question was more serious than he thought. "What did you mean?"

She gestured at her surroundings. "I mean, this. " When she looked at him again, her gaze was full of worry. "Because this can't possibly be safe or easy."

"Or boring."

"Is that it then?" she asked quietly. "You were bored, and so you chose to live double lives as Calixte and Dauphin?"

"Where are these questions coming from?" he asked gently. "What is it do you truly want to ask?"

"Do you think the day would come when you'd want another job?"

Ah.

"You still fear your father."

"The moment you arrest him, he'll want to know what you have on him, and he'll know it was me. He'll know it can't be anyone else but me."

"And you don't think I can protect you?"

"I'm asking if it's possible to have a life where you won't need to protect me. To just go somewhere far away where no one knows us, and..." Her voice trailed off. "You think I'm being silly."

"Never."

Her expression turned gloomy this time. "I can see that you mean it, which makes it worse since I do think I'm being silly. I know how they work. It's always only a matter of time before they find whoever it is they want to kill."

Calixte cupped his wife's chin and turned her gaze to his. "You need to stop seeing your father in the eyes of a child. He's just human like you and me."

A long silence followed, and Calixte started feeling disturbed. He didn't think he had said anything unnecessarily harsh. But if he had still inadvertently hurt her feelings, then of course he would apologize---

"Thank you," his wife whispered. "I don't know how you do it, but you always seem to know what I need to hear and when to hear it. I wish there's something I could do..."

She stopped speaking all of a sudden, and Calixte tensed. "What is it?"

Instead of answering, she insisted on wriggling off his lap, and his tension grew. "Tell me what's---" It was his turn to abruptly stop speaking. The moment her knees hit the carpet, and she positioned herself between his knees, he already knew what she meant to do.

"You don't have to do this," he grated out.

"But I want to."

She was already reaching for him while speaking, and his blood quickened when he saw how her hands trembled as she unzipped him. His gaze swung back to his wife, and the next thing he noticed was the rapid rise and fall of her chest behind the scooped neckline of her dress.

His desire heightened, and by the time she had released his bulging length from its confines, his entire body was as rigid as steel.

His fists clenched involuntarily as he watched her slowly bow her head.

His eyes squeezed shut as her lips closed over him.

And when her head started bobbing up and down, he found himself blindly reaching for her hair.

He could feel her choking and resisting as he took control of the pace.

But at the same time, he could also smell the scent of her need tingeing the air.

Eden. Eden. Eden.

Her name was a secret song of his soul.

And when he finally came inside her mouth, he felt her body shudder, and she, too, started coming as his seed rushed down her throat.

Eden. Eden. Eden.

Her name was all he allowed himself.

And it would remain so until he could find a way to make his wife love him back.